"Closer to the Edge"
By Lucawindmover
Chapter Ten
"I'm Taking You"
Fifteen years previously, on Prince Zuko's Fire Navy ship…
"Katara, I need a word with you," Zuko said, coming through the door and closing it behind him. He had to announce himself upon entering his own rooms these days, or else fear the wrath of Katara's pillows.
The last few days had been tenuous at best. There were very few things he and Katara could agree on. They argued about food, about her hands, about bathroom breaks, about sleeping. Even when he tried to agree with her, she argued about it. He was starting to realize that perhaps she was arguing so much because she didn't want to get to comfortable around him. She always seemed to get angry right after they had a conversation that they didn't fight about.
"Hmmm?"
She was sitting on his bed pulling his brush through her wavy, brown hair. She had mostly regained the use of her hands, and though there would be light scarring, she had come out better than most. Sometimes he wondered if she had managed to heal herself a little, even with the binding rings on. The healing salves they had used on her hands shouldn't have done their job so quickly. He shook off this thought, however, because if that were the case, Katara would be in a lot of danger.
"As you know, we're in port," he stared. He walked over to his desk chair and stood, holding the back of it in his hands. "My father has requested an audience with myself and Azula."
Katara shrugged. "That doesn't sound too out of the norm though, right?" she asked. Upon arriving in the Fire Nation, Katara had come to the realization that her life was bound pretty tightly to Zuko's. If something happened to him, she would be helpless in enemy territory. She didn't want to rely on him, or trust him, but she didn't have many other choices at this point. The thought of him going off to see the Fire Lord made her nervous. If that man decided to take the life of his only son, he'd be taking her life as well.
Zuko pressed his lips together in a tight line. "The audience was pretty much expected," he said. "But he wants our prisoners to accompany us. That is quite unusual."
Zuko watched as some of the color drained from Katara's face. So she was afraid. That was a good thing because so was he. He needed her to be afraid so that she would finally show some restraint and respect. One wrong word in front of the Fire Lord and she would be gone in an instant.
"You are and your earthbender friend are technically being considered 'spoils of war.' As such, I'm supposed to present you to my father. The Fire Lord traditionally gets to choose what he wants first, and then the Prince and Princess are allowed to choose what items they want. The rest is usually thrown in the Royal Vault. This is obviously different because you are people, not gold and such."
"I'm going to be treated like an object, aren't I?" Katara asked, anger in her eyes. Her hands clutched the hair brush so tightly that they ached. Zuko could see that her knuckles were white.
"Yes. But Katara, I need you to trust me. I—"
Katara interrupted him by jumping to her feet and throwing the brush to the floor. "Trust you? Is that all?"
"It's the only chance you have!" Zuko shouted, advancing on her. "You don't understand! I don't know what my father would do to you. You have to trust me to get you out of this. To get us out of this."
"Since when have we been an 'us'?" Katara asked, her hands balled in fists at her sides. She didn't back down as he moved closer.
"When did you and I become a 'we'?" he pointed out. He was only a step away from her now, staring down the length of his nose at her.
Katara froze, her jaw clenched. Why was he doing this to her? She closed her eyes as tears started to pool in her eyes. "Why do you care whether I'm killed or not?"
There was a long silence while Katara stood and let the tears streak her cheeks. Zuko took a deep breath, his chest tightening at the sight of her so lost.
"Because I was wrong," he said softly. Katara opened her eyes and looked up at him, confused.
"Wrong about what?"
Zuko looked away. He trained his eyes on a rivet in the wall and forced himself not to look away from it. "I was wrong about the Avatar. I shouldn't have let Azula do what she did. I shouldn't have let that man do to you what he did. I've made some very big mistakes, and I need to redeem myself. That's why I care about what happens to you."
Katara took a moment before responding. "So, instead of a search for your honor, you are now searching for redemption?"
Zuko closed his eyes. "Yes."
He was startled when he felt her grab his uniform and push him as hard as she could. He stumbled a few steps across the room before he regained his balance. His eyes went wide and he whirled his head around, glaring at her. "What was that for?"
"You don't care about me at all! You only care about redemption, just like you only cared about your honor before!" She was staring him down. From somewhere she had managed to find the brush again and she was holding it menacingly. She had fallen into a waterbending form again, out of habit.
"What?" he sputtered. "I didn't say anything like that!" He took a couple of steps away from the waterbender.
"That's practically what you just said!" Katara yelled, color rising in her cheeks. She had long since wiped the tears away.
Zuko was suddenly so mad he couldn't see straight. He growled and turned to punch a sizable dent in the closest wall. "I didn't mean it that way!" he shouted, turning his angry eyes back to hers.
Katara hesitated. She didn't give up her aggressive stance wielding the hairbrush, but she did ask, "Well, then what did you mean?"
"I'm looking for redemption in your eyes. Yours only," he said, advancing on her again. This time he grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her a little. "You don't seem to understand. You are the only one who matters anymore."
Katara stared up at him in wonder. Did he mean that? He certainly seemed like it. And if there was one thing she had learned about Zuko in the time she'd known him, it was that he didn't usually say things he didn't mean. He often said things that he meant to come out differently than the way he said them, but he didn't usually lie outright. And certainly not for the sake of making anyone else feel better.
But somehow, she did feel better. And worse. She closed her eyes and did something that shocked them both. She dropped the brush and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into the hollow of his shoulder and neck. And she cried, great gasping sobs with tears flowing steadily.
He wasn't sure what do to at first. He didn't hug people. It wasn't because he was opposed to hugging, it was just that his family didn't do that much. He wasn't sure he'd hugged anyone since his mother. His arms kind of hesitated in the air for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and wrapped them around her, holding her closer. He leaned his scarred cheek against her wet one and held her.
If this was what she needed, he would give her that. It was a small price to pay on the path to redemption.
Prince Zuko knelt before his father with his sister, Princess Azula, to his left. He had not seen his father in three long years. He had been a child when he left. He had returned as a man. He had redeemed himself by helping destroy the Avatar and capture his traitorous uncle. These were the things his father spoke to him. Zuko nodded and answered questions and generally behaved as was fitting for the Crowned Prince of the Fire Nation. His father was pleased. Princess Azula was afforded the same treatment. She recounted her accomplishments with a sense of pride that Zuko seemed to lack, no so much in his words as in his tone. He hoped his father hadn't noticed.
Zuko now had what he had worked so hard to regain. He had his honor. He had his place at his father's right hand. He had his throne, his home, his family. He had everything he had ever wanted.
And it was no longer enough.
The moment came when four soldiers were ordered in, carrying the spoils of war. There were numerous carts of gold and treasures, silver and gems. There were expensive silks, artfully woven tapestries, beautifully painted screens and fans. All of these were paraded before the Fire Lord who watched with little interest.
Then came the moment Zuko had most anticipated. Dread was heavy in his stomach as he watched the amusement flood his father's eyes. Added to the binding rings of the two benders were heavy chains manacling the girls' hands and feet. They shuffled in with their eyes cast down, as Zuko had begged Katara to do. Katara must have told the blind earthbender to do the same, even though the girl couldn't see anyway. He fervently hoped both girls would do as he had bid them, for the sake of their lives.
"And here are the greatest spoils, the pet waterbender and earthbender!" Fire Lord Ozai announced as the girls were brought before him and forced to kneel. Katara bowed her head to the floor, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Toph stayed upright, refusing. One of the guards kicked her in the back until the earthbender rested her forehead on the floor as well.
"Father," Zuko began, inwardly filled with fear though outwardly he showed nothing but ambivalence.
"Yes, Prince Zuko?" the Fire Lord said, turning his eyes to his son.
Zuko took a breath and steeled himself for what he was about to say. "I have a request."
"And what is that, Prince Zuko?"
Zuko looked up from the floor, where his gaze had been trained, and met his father's eyes. "I would like to keep the waterbender for myself."
The Fire Lord regarded him for a moment before bursting into laughter. Zuko tensed. He was sure laughter from the Fire Lord was not a good thing.
"She is quite a prize, worthy of the Fire Lord himself. Why do you think I should give her to you? Are you worthy of her?" his father asked, a smirk lingering on his lips.
No, I am not, he thought. Out loud he said, "I would like her as a trophy, if you decide not to keep her." He willed his voice not to crack, begged his body not to betray him.
Fire Lord Ozai looked back to the girl and seemed to think for a bit. Finally he said, "Rumor has it you have already taken her as a trophy. That she spent your entire voyage in your private chambers."
From the corner of his eye he watched as Azula grinned mischievously. He wasn't surprised. "She was indeed in my chambers," Zuko answered ambiguously.
The Fire Lord waved his hand dismissively. "Well, I have no use for her then. You may keep her."
"Father," Azula started, shock clearly written on her face. Zuko could tell she had been sure she was getting him in trouble. "You aren't angry for Zuko's illicit affair with the waterbending peasant?"
"He may take his pleasure however he sees fit, so long as he doesn't father any bastard children. And even those are easily taken care of," their father answered. Zuko could feel his face grow warm. From where he sat he could see Katara's shoulders shaking with tears. He had never felt so low in his entire life.
"Then I want to keep my slave too," Azula stated. To Zuko, she sounded just like a petulant child who hadn't gotten her way.
"You mean to tell me you haven't tired of the girl yet? I know what sorts of things happen on your ship," the Fire Lord said, bringing his fingers to his chin, his hands forming a triangle there.
Azula shrugged and smiled. "If I broke her too soon, where would the fun be?"
Fire Lord Ozai nodded. "You may both keep your pets as a sign of my favor. You both proved yourselves and you are deserving. I will have my pick in the days to come."
It took everything in Zuko's will not to show the relief he felt at these words.
"You are dismissed. You may take your trophies with you," the Fire Lord said before standing and leaving the chamber himself.
Zuko stood and waited a moment as the blood rushed back to his feet painfully. Azula was already up and jerking a chain on the earthbender's neck. The girl was fighting valiantly as Azula dragged her from the room, cackling at the plight of her victim.
Katara hadn't moved. She remained kneeling, forehead on the floor. Zuko approached slowly, not sure of what to do or say. When she finally raised her head and looked at him, he had never seen such fury.
"Am I your little waterbending bed warmer now? Is this what you saved me for?" Katara said scathingly.
Zuko looked around worriedly, and motioned for her to keep her voice down. "Not here, okay? We can talk about this when we get back to my rooms."
Katara continued to glare at him as he helped haul her to her feet. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. He reluctantly took her chain in his hands and motioned for her to follow him. She thought about fighting, like Toph had done. But the look of intense worry on his brow made her keep quiet and follow him.
He led her down a series of hallways toward the Royal Housing wing of the structure. Katara closely noted each door and tapestry, trying to remember her way out just in case the moment ever came that she could make a run for it.
He motioned for her to enter a door at the end of a hallway and closed it tightly behind them. He immediately went about unlocking her shackles.
The moment her hands and feet were unbound, she began a barrage of hits to his chest. She hit and smacked, kicked his shins and pushed him. He just stood there, refusing to meet her eyes. Finally she had tired herself out and just stood, breathing heavily and cradling her sore hands to her chest. Her eyes gleamed with tears.
"Are you finished?" Zuko asked quietly. He was sure he would have bruises to hide in the morning.
Katara stared at him for a moment. "You aren't mad? Your little slave is hitting you. Aren't you going to punish me?"
Zuko finally met her gaze. Katara was surprised to see the pain there. "It's no less than what I deserve. And you are no slave to me. We will keep up that front for everyone else, so that you'll be safe," he said, turning away.
Katara finally slumped to the floor, the weight of the situation hitting her all at once. Shame filled her eyes, heat filled her cheeks. "Everyone thinks that we're… that you're…that I'm…"
She heard Zuko sigh. "I know. And if I hadn't let my father think that, he would have taken you for his own. I know he would have," he turned and looked at her over his shoulder, with his good eye. "You deserve better than how I know he would have treated you. I'm sorry that we have to continue this charade."
Katara brought her hands to her face and sobbed.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review! Next up: back to the present to hear what Toph has to say about her time with Azula. I'm hereby warning you. Next chapter will be dark.
Also, I now have set up a separate Facebook account for my writing! www . facebook . com/Lucawindmover (minus the spaces). This is a great way to keep informed about updates, brainstorming, ask questions and give feedback. For authors, it's a great way to bounce ideas and keep in touch. I hope you will all friend-request me. It's been a lot of fun using this account to keep up with writing!
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender and I make no money from my stories. I just really enjoy tormenting the wonderful characters that have been provided for us. I also don't own the lyrics to "Closer to the Edge" by 30 Seconds to Mars, but it is a great song.