Chapter 10: Derp...Drawing A Blank. Damn You Hormones!
What the fuck am I supposed to do now for bloody sake!? Lisa Trevor is attempting her best impression of Whack-a-Mole with my best mate but if I move a supernatural muscle just an inch then Chris' what-the-fuck expression would redirect from the window to me, and I rather not be at the other end of those dumbstruck eyes. Damn it Tab if Lisa doesn't kill you I sure as hell might.
Quite the oxymoron there
Oh shut up and focus on staying alive will ya'?
Don't gotta tell me twice, sista.
My body's tense ready to leap out the window after her but my feet are glued to the damned floor. Hell my heartbeat is drumming harder than Tab's just from the pure anxiety. Chris runs towards the window then looks back to me, "What the fuck was that?"
"Well that's not very nice, that is my friend Tab."
His eyes narrow and his lips set into a thin line. Oh joy the steely glare, I do enjoy those! Not. "You know what I mean. How did she not kill herself after a move like that?"
"I have an idea!" I grab Chris' hand and haul him down the rest of the corridor, "How about you ask her that yourself when you see her? We have to find your comrades don't we?"
I mentally face-palm myself, yeah good idea. Set him back on the very track you've been trying to derail him from. Genius!
Really? 'Cuz it sounds pretty stupid to me.
Does your sarcasm detecter go on the fritz when you're fighting for your life? By the way, how /is/ that going?
I can practically hear her eyes roll in their sockets as she continues to avoid getting pummeled. Suddenly Chris lets out a gruff yowl and snatches his hand away from my grip, "Take it easy! That's my shooting hand."
Oops, my kung-fu grip is strong. "Sorry."
His tense look gradually softens and he sighs as she places his hand on my shoulder, "It's okay. I'm worried about my partners too. She looks like she can handle her own, she'll be fine."
I nod and open the door to the next corridor. Chris carefully closes the door behind us and listens in for tell-tale moaning or shuffling. He tries the metal door rusted around the hinges but it's locked. Then he tries the next door and it slowly creaks open. I shudder from the icy feeling the creaking provoked then my jaw drops. "No, nuh-uh mate. I'm waiting outside."
Chris flashes me a weird look, "What's wrong?"
"I've seen this movie. You're going to be lured by the tub full of murky water and reach in to unplug the blasted thing when all of a sudden one of those things reaches back and pulls you in. Nope! I'll be outside."
"Oh c'mon you chicken. This isn't movie."
Yeah he's right, it's a bloody game and that's exactly what's going to happen. At least I /think/ it will if the non-predictable events so far is anything to go by. We step into the teeny-tiny bathroom, hyper aware Chris is practically invading my personal space to the point I could detail you what he had for lunch. Burrito, Cola, followed by some mints, and fruity gum if you were curious. Heat rushes to my cheeks as I try to look down, since I'm bloody short my eye-level meets his lips and I don't need that kind of distraction thank you very much! Unfortunately, I left my suave moves at home and the blasted soldier noticed with a weak clearing of his throat to break the tension.
Kindly tell your heartbeat to shut up, I can't focus on not getting whacked to death with all that battering in my ears.
Not funny, Redfield.
Really? I dunno, I sort of chuckled.
I growl, out loud, and Chris gives me a weird look before he reached into the tub. "Are you good?"
"Peachy now get this over with."
He rolls his eyes and slowly the drainage of murky water fills the bathroom. After a few seconds Chris looks back to me, "See nothing to-"
A zombie's hand pops out of the tub, making both Chris and me jump back. I actually end up jumping against the door and fall on my ass back to the corridor right at the feet of a few wanderers. Oh goodie! Chris dodges the bathtub zombie and I roll away across the hardwood floor before one of the random zombies falls on top of me.
"Keep your rotten paws off me you wanker!" I scamper back to my feet and aim my gun. Crap too loud, but there's two and a third in the bathroom with Chris.
Instead I rush towards the handsy bugger, lock my arm against his chest, and flip him over my hip before he takes a bite of my forearm. I ram the second zombie's nose into his skull and watch him fall back like a plank with that miserable moan. I stomp my foot onto the first zombie's head with a satisfying crunch of crushed skull then look back to the other as he manages to sit up. Chris suddenly rushes out the bathroom and slams the door behind him. Without actually thinking he just punches the guy in the face and kicks his head off like a bloody soccer ball. He looks to me and pulls out a key, "There was something in the tub."
"Lovely, now can we continue before more of those things pop up?"
He nods and ushers me down the corridor. Lightning illuminates the hall followed by the harsh boom of thunder I could feel down to my bones. "Where did you learn to fight?"
"Huh?" Slightly distracted from the heat of his hand on my lower back here.
Sure it's not the heat from somewhere more down south there, buddy?
Blimey, Tab! Inappropriate much?
(Hey, I can read more than your mind you know.)
Well, someone needs to peruse their Hooked on Phonics because you're completely misreading something.
Right... she trails on with a bit of a giggle.
I deadpan and Chris is just standing in front of another door with- surprise!- yet /another/ weird look directed at me. I could seriously make a drinking game out of the number of weird looks this guy gives me. "You fight pretty well for a midget."
"What?" I screech.
Just as he turns to open the door I catch the curl of the corner of his mouth. Is this bugger teasing me? I follow him into the vacant marble room then into the adjacent office room. Oh hey I know this trap! As we inspect the room for useful crap he continues, "So are you going to answer or is that a secret too?"
I deadpan, "I learned in the dojo of Non yabu siness taught by Wan Ker."
Chris lets out a faint chuckle, "Clever," he rolls his eyes as he pockets a dagger.
I snort, "I know I'm brilliant. I don't need your affirmation thank you very much." He shakes his head and takes the shotgun from it's stand. The hooks raise with an ominous click I know well, but apparently Chris was too excited by his new toy to notice. "Oi, Jarhead, didn't you see that?"
"What?" I snatch the shotgun back from him and replace it on its stand. The hooks fall from its weight and the click resounds in the office again. "Oh, a booby-trap."
"Yes, you're catching on now Dum-dum. We can't take that unless you find something of equal weight to keep the trap dormant."
"I could just hang you off those hooks and I can keep my shotgun."
My jaw nearly falls open while Tab cackles like a delighted witch, Burn!
"Oh keep getting bold, mate. We'll see who's hanging from those hooks." The door abruptly slams open and I literally jump into Chris from the surprise. "Bloody hell I can't get use to that!"
Chris' growl rumbles from his chest against my back and his warm breath brushes the top of my head. Every nerve ending ignites as I feel his right arm reach across to the gun nestled between the waistband of my jeans and left hip bone. He takes my gun and aims for the zombie, promptly drilling three bullets into its head. Yep, that just happened.
After the bugger went down I finally notice his free hand resting on my waist. Why do I enjoy the weight of his there more than I should?
Cuz he's six feet of pure muscle and chocolatey brown eyes. Tab pipes in cheerily. At least that's what you like to remind me of whenever you're on a sugar high in the middle of an RE marathon.
Oh.. right. How could I forget?
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Another terrific chapter given to me by my best friend/co-writer A.J Scarlet! Totally had me laughing my ass off. I literally rolled off the chair—hurt my back too—because this was just so damn great! I loved every second of this chapter! I'm sure you all enjoyed it too. Or at least you'd better have!