Hey everybody! It's been (how long again?) since I updated... Oh well. I can now add to an extraordinarily large list of things that annoy, anger, or just plain PISS ME OFF! That includes erratic beeping (damn the librarians), sheltered children (I mean, seriously!), sinus infections (the reason for my absence-well, kinda), antibiotics (ick), and do I even need to continue?

Disclaimer:

Phil: Seriously? Do you even need to say anything here?

My thoughts exactly, but I'd prefer not being sued in the near future, thanks.

Phil: Ugh, fine! All that the Writer from the Black Lagoon owns are me and the storyline below.

Yeah, sorry I have to keep making you do this.

Phil: Couldn't you just update it all at once?

I wish! I've got a chapter or two ahead written out, but nothing that I'm going to post anytime soon!

Phil: Eh, hurry up! The end's my favorite part!

Fine! So demanding!

After peeling and setting the potatoes to boil, giving Spy strict instructions to only let the potatoes boil for 15 minutes, Philippe went to go take a shower. First visiting her room to get a change of clothes, she decided to take her usual shirt as well as the khaki pants and sneakers she arrived in.

After she finished, she towel-dried her wet hair and braided it before putting it back under her cap. Once she was dressed, she returned to the kitchen to find Spy staring at the pot. Noticing her arrival, he said, cheerfully, "Ma cherie! Good to see you are feeling better."

"Thanks, Spy," Phil said. "How long has it been?"

"It will be 15 minutes…now," Spy said just as the timer went off. Phil grinned and went to get the potatoes off of the stove. Spy then moved to help her, saying, "'Ere, let me 'elp you with-"

Phil and Spy found themselves face to face. "-zhat." After staring at each other for a long, tense moment, they heard a loud set of footsteps stomping toward the kitchen. "MAGGOT!" (A/N: Solly! It was just getting good!)

Hastily jumping away from each other, Spy sat back down at the table and Phil grabbed the pot off of the stovetop. Phil was a bright shade of pink, and even the Spy looked embarrassed. "Solly, Ah think ya need t' calm down."

"Engie, the MAGGOT won't stop stealing my goddamned shovel!"

"Solly, look, Scout's jus' a kid. Leave 'im be."

"I will admit zhere is no love lost between ze Scout and I, but 'e is right, Scout is a child still," Spy drawled.

Phil, searching through the cupboards, added, "It's probably his way of asking for attention." After locating the food processor, she stood up, only to whack the back of her head on the edge of the cabinet. "Ow!"

Standing up, she found the three men staring at her. She shrugged. "What? He's isolated from his family and he, like you said, is still a child. He wants to be the center of attention, but doesn't know how to do that without irritating everyone."

"Th' heck d'ya figure that?"

"I hav-had younger cousins and siblings. It's almost disturbingly familiar." To prevent further conversation, she quickly turned on the food processor. Engineer, at something of a loss, walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged his hand off and continued staring at the potatoes. He looked at her sadly. She was keeping up very well, but he knew very well that she would crack under the pressures and warfare. He patted her arm, albeit awkwardly, and backed away. The food processor whirred to a stop.

Haltingly, Soldier said, "Private...ah…"

It was at that moment she gave up holding the tears in. She ran for the door, faster than the three men in the kitchen could react.

The Spy stood. "Gentlemen." Vanishing, they could hear his footsteps fading away.

Soldier turned and looked helplessly at Engineer. "I's no' your fault, Solly. The li'l lady jus' gotta get herself together. All we can do is be there fer her." He sighed. He stood there, the picture of a defeated man, his head slumped and his shoulders slouched. Soldier fidgeted for a moment, wondering what he could do. Then a moment of inspiration hit him.

Engineer started at the feeling of Soldier's arms wrapping him in a hug. "What-Solly?"

"I remembered the Private did this an' it helped some. I was hopin' it'd do th' same for you, Engie." The words were barely audible. Then he mumbled something that sounded like, "Stupid maggot."

Engineer grinned a sad smile. Soldier was so unpredictable. It was part of what made Engie…love? lust after? him. Somehow or other, though, it did make him feel that much better.

Phil, however, continued to have a bad day. She ran through the base, neither knowing nor caring where she was going. She couldn't see and she was choking on her tears, but she needed to keep running. It mattered little where she went or how she got there, but she had to keep going. Then maybe this horrible truth wouldn't catch up. She heard a shout of astonishment from someone and a shout of "Fräulein!" from Medic, but didn't so much as pause.

Scout turned out to be the person she ran into. "Special, hey, I was hopin' ta run inta y…Hey, are ya cryin'?"

Special made a sound that could have been a laugh but sounded more like she was choking. "F-fast o-o-on the upta-a-ake aren't-t ya S-s-scout."

"Ah…heah, why don'tcha come this way?" He steered her down a hallway and toward what looked to be a storage room. He opened it, and her suspicions were proven correct. He gave her a bright orange office chair to sit on and perched himself on a crate.

"Okay, S-scout. Why we-ere you hoping t-to run i-into me?"

"We-well, I-uh…ah, fuck." Scout found himself speechless for one of the only times in his life.

Philippe sighed. "Is i-it Snip-per?" She asked, still recovering from the heavy crying she had just been doing.

Scout fell off of his crate in shock. "How-how'd ya know?"

"Luck-ky gue-ess." She smiled, although water was still running down her cheeks.

Picking himself up off of the floor, he dusted himself off in embarrassment. "Yeeaaah. I-well, I dunno-but I thought, yer a girl, an' girls are better wit' all this feeling stuff an'…well, an' I'm just confused."

"En-enlighten me-e."

"I-I well, I…Shit, this's harder than I thought it'd be."

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself. "You saw, you wanted, you confused yourself, and it hasn't go-one away. No matter how ha-ard you try."

"Yeah, that's it. Fuck, this don't make it easier…"

"I-I'm pretty sure I'm the only one to notice except Spy and maybe Pyro."

"Spy-spy noticed? Fuck, why didn't he say anything?"

"Who knows? I-it's Spy, after all."

Sniper heard voices from inside one of the storage rooms. He paused, and would have considered continuing walking on except that he heard two voices from inside; a feminine voice that could only be Special and a quick talking voice that had to be Scout. But why were they talking in a storage room, of all places? He took a deep breath, then inched near the door and pressed his ear to the keyhole to hear what was happening inside.

He was right, it was Scout and Special.

"Okay-okay, you're going to be Sniper, but-but don't fuckin' say anything."

"Got i-it." Her voice was quavering-she must have been crying, Sniper realized.

"Al-alright. Uh, um, Sniper…AGH! This's so hard."

"Yeah I-I know. Just try…try to be honest."

"Okay. Sniper…I, uh, well, shit, I've been havin', well, weird feelin's around you an'…an' I think I…might fuckin' like ya."

Sniper almost blew his cover by falling over. As it was, he was surprised those inside the room hadn't heard his face turning a bright shade of red. Scout was having feelings-for him? He considered it for a moment, then grinned. Standing up, he walked away before anyone came by or before Scout and Special found him eavesdropping. He headed off to his room, singing inside.

"God save th' Queen!" He laughed, causing Engineer, who was passing by, to look at him funny.

"Sniper, what's got ya so happy? Though Ah ain't complainin', 't's been a while since Ah seen ya smile like tha'."

"Nothin', Truckie. Nothin' at all." Whistling a merry tune, he continued down the hallways. He hoped Scout told him soon.

Engineer shook his head. He'd finally noticed, huh? "Jesus Christ, took 'im long 'nough."

Back in the storage room, Special was congratulating Scout.

"Good, Scout. Now you gotta tell him about it."

"Right. Shit, how'm I gonna do that? Hard enough tellin' you, an' you already knew. What 'bout Sniper?"

"You just gotta do it. Look, have you ever done something that scared you enough you nearly peed your pants but you knew you had to do it? At some point, you have to swallow your fear, get it over with, and hope for the best."

"But what'f Sniper never talks to me again, an' it gets awkw'rd, an' he tells everyone I'm a fuckin' fag, an'-"

Scout seemed on the edge of hyperventilating. She sighed. SLAP!

"Ow! What'd ya do that for?"

"Quit whining! Do you like him or not? You know you'll have to tell him eventually."

"Well, ya know, it doesn't make it any easier!"

"I could disguise myself as our Sniper and you could try telling me, oui?"

While Scout gaped, Phil sighed. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to see 'im confess."

Rolling her eyes and turning back to Scout, Philippe continued, "Look, Scout. You have to try. Otherwise, he'll never know. And even if he does know somewhere in that head of his, he might need you to tell him."

"Yeah, you're right. I gotta tell him." He looked absolutely terrified but determined. Phil felt sorry for him-she knew this was going to be hard.

"That's the spirit! Now, tell him quickly, before you lose that thought."

"Got it. Thanks, Special!" He tossed her a high five, which she returned, and ran toward Sniper's room.

"You know zhat Sniper was listening in?"

"Well, I knew somebody was listening in. I wasn't sure who it was, though."

"Ah. So, cherie, are you feeling better now? Zhat's twice you've cried." Someone who didn't know Spy as well could have sworn there was no feeling in that voice, but Philippe couldn't help but think that he sounded just a little worried.

"Yeah, I think I'm done, for now at least." She laughed and walked past him. "Oh, I hope Soldier doesn't blame himself. So, Spy, you make it a habit to follow me around?" She was grinning, but she kept it from her voice, turning so he couldn't see her face.

"Ah, um, well, cherie, I, ah…" Spy was stammering. It took all of her self-control not to giggle. (A/N: Yeah, OOC much? *whacks self on head with stick*)

"I think it's sweet that you care." She interrupted his attempt at an excuse, turning and flashing him a grin. "Now we should probably go help Engie, right?"

"Ah, oui." He said, and if anyone could see past the mask he was wearing, his cheeks would be a lovely shade of red. He only smiled, but inside he was singing the same glorious song as Sniper.

I hoped you, out there in TV land, yes you, enjoyed the latest installment of the story.

And finally, to Ravenwisker- No, fuck YOU! *grin*