(Alternatively titled "Reason #1172 That It Sucks To Be Lance Alvers")
Lance wanted pizza for dinner. That was literally all he wanted.
He didn't even start out wanting pizza. As usual, that night the job of dinner had been abandoned to Fred. however, the large boy must have been feeling a bit off his game that night- or perhaps he was just distracted by Todd, whose spontaneous round of Sing Sing Revolution was growing shriekier by the minute. Whatever the reason was, it wasn't long before the downstairs of the Brotherhood house was filling up with thick black smoke.
"Sorry, Lance!" called Fred, thundering down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. Lance was busy pushing open the living room window, grumbling something about toads, the French, and good ideas.
With the house filling with smoke and the still warbling Toad upstairs showing no hint of tuning down anytime soon, Pietro chose that moment to run through the door, flinging it open behind him with a bang. "Aw man," he whined, drawing to a stop. "Did Wanda set Toad on fire again?"
"Not qu-," Lance started to say, but he was cut off by another voice from upstairs. "No," proclaimed Wanda from the top of the stairs, her hands glowing ominously, "but she's about to!" All three of the mutants on the lower level froze in place as Wanda vanished, and they all stood in shock-still anticipation for what they knew was coming. It was only a few seconds before a loud cry of "Toad, knock it off!" rang out, followed by a high-pitched screech. However, the music and singing almost immediately picked up again- this time accompanied by the loud thuds of jumping.
"That's it!" Wanda hollered, and a few seconds later the entire house was filled with the sound of My Chemical Romance blasting from Wanda's own speakers. "Sing along to that!"
In response, Toad's music just cranked louder, and Pietro pressed his hands over his ears. "Oh, come on! I hate both of these songs!"
"We could just order a pizza," suggested Fred weakly, but with the way the house was practically vibrating with the loud music he doubted that anyone actually heard him.
However, Lance- despite the pounding headache he had developed from the smoke alone, nevermind the blaring music- came through. "I don't care what song it is, shut them up!" he shouted to Pietro, before pulling a hand away from his ears and gesturing to Fred. "I'll call, just get me a phone."
In the time it took Fred to find a phone, Pietro had already vanished upstairs; and Toad's singing, if it was even possible, seemed to have intensified. Taking the phone from Fred, Lance started to dial the number of the pizza place (many other incidents similar to this had left the whole household knowing the number well- as well as the pizza place knowing theirs), but was still wincing at the noise coming from upstairs. he only mercy was that Wanda's music seemed to have lowered ever so slightly.
"Yeah," Lance said into the phone as the slightly accented voice of the pizza guy answered on the other end. "Hi Jesús- yeah, it's Lance this time, don't worry- I'm good, thanks... Could I get-"
What Lance was about to order was cut off, however, when all of a sudden AC/DC's Shoot to Thrill suddenly filled the house with pounding music once more. There was no question who it was. Fred winced and Lance covered the phone's speaker with his palm as he hollered a thunderous "Pietro!" up the stairs. However, if they could barely hear him before, there was no way anyone could hear him over the loud music now.
"Is this gonna turn into-" Fred began hesitantly, just as Wanda's music cranked up to match her brother's. Lance pressed a hand to his face and nodded.
"Ohh yeah..."
Suddenly, in a flash of blue light, all the doors in the house began swinging open then slamming shut at once. Fred covered his ears with his massive hands and wisely decided that the best course of action he could take in this scenario was to retreat from the house. "Don't forget to order sausage!" he called over his shoulder before pushing out the doorway, abandoning Lance to the house of madness.
Lance groaned, rolling his eyes as he listened to the bewildered voice of the pizza man ask if anyone was still there. "Yeah, right here," he replied, having to shout to be heard over the racket. "Can we get six large pizzas, one with sausage- no, that's six pizzas," Lance corrected, clenching his fist around the phone to the point that he was pretty sure he heard the plastic crack. "Yeah, I know you can hardly hear me, I- no, okay, six large pizzas- large- one with sausage, two with pepperoni, one plain, one with apple and bacon- yeah, you heard right, apple and- seriously? Sorry buddy, hang on," he said hastily before sticking his head out the window. "Seriously," he called to Pietro, who was currently darting around the backyard amidst numerous small but noisy explosions. "Where did you find fireworks?"
At that moment, the smoke detectors- something Lance hadn't even known that they had before that moment- began to wail, no doubt as a result of Wanda's powers.
"Oh, come on!" Pietro shouted, zipping back inside. "How am I supposed to-" He cut off with a choke as Lance snagged the collar of his sweater and yanked him back.
"Do you mind? I'm ordering here," he grumbled, gesturing to the phone in his hand. The speedster's face lit up.
"Pizza?!"
Suddenly, all the racket- the music, the singing, the sirens, the slamming doors- cut off at once, leaving the house feeling oddly empty. The only sound was that of Wanda and Toad thundering down the stairs in response to Pietro's cry.
"Did somebody say pizza?"
"I'm hungry, yo!"
"Enough!" Lance exclaimed, fixing a hard glare on each of them in turn before returning to the phone. "Sorry about that, Jesús. So, apples and bacon on one- hello? Hello?"
There was no longer anyone on the other line.