Part two ladies and gents! thank you for the continued support!

Elsie walked up the stairs. It was time to help her girl (still couldn't use daughter, still just couldn't but Ella was the closest she would ever come, but still, she hadn't given birth to her, no matter how much she wished she had)

She chuckled humorlessly as she thought of how Charles had reacted. He had huffed, saying that their girl wasn't old enough to date, and the Bradley boy, Robb (he had practically spit the lad's name) was three years older, what business did he have with liking their girl? Elsie had calmly told him that she, herself hadn't been much older than Ella, when she had her first kiss. She pointed out their age difference. Their seven year gap made three pale in comparison. She also pointed out that the Bradley's had raised a fine lad, and that he was nothing like the foot man who chased her maids, or the rogue stable hands who were crass. He had huffed again, and had turned so that his back was facing her. He had stayed like that all night, and neither of them had much sleep. He had refused to speak to her the next day, was upset that their girl was growing up steadily, right before their eyes. He had been downright grumpy. But the smile that never left her girls face, and the added spring to her step was well worth all the grumpiness that he had thrown her way.

Elsie knocked on Ella's door just briefly, before going in. She saw Ella struggling with the ties of her new corset. (The girl had come into some womanly curves as of late, she was starting to grow more into her beauty, and Elsie had had to take her to Ripon to get her two new corsets, and three new shifts.) Elsie patiently took over, tying the girl in. The reached for the girls dress and helped her step into the emerald green dress that even with the lower neckline was still cut modestly.

As she did up the buttons that lined the back of the dress (young lads have an aversion to small buttons, but so did a certain butler) she asked, "Are you nervous, a stór?"

"A little, but Robb is so nice, and very handsome. Mama, he has amazing eyes. But he is three years older than me, and all the girls at school think he is handsome, and I know I am not the prettiest girl, and he doesn't see me every day. I mean…" she trailed off as Elsie laid a hand on her shoulder.

"You always have rambled when you are nervous, and Ella, you are beautiful! You should stop selling yourself short. Now let's start on your hair." Elsie watched the girl sit. Even with her dark chestnut brown curls going everywhere, she still was striking, with bright green eyes that were shaped like almonds, her lips that were the perfect bow shape and her heart shaped face, with her milky white complexion that was only marred by the splatter of freckles that had become less pronounced as she had gotten older.

Elsie brushed her hair until it laid in large barrel curls down her back. She braided her hair across the top and stopped at her left ear, and pinned it to lie underneath the curls. Ella smiled into the mirror at her mama. Elsie reached into her pocket and pulled out a simple silver chain with an intricate Celtic knot pendant. She fastened it around Ella's neck and it hung at the perfect spot.

Ella stood and hugged her mama. As they made their way downstairs and into the servants hall, Charles was sitting alone at the servants table with a book in hand. Everyone else is off either to the fair, or relaxing. But her papa, ever the butler, stood and she felt him scrutinize her, as if she were one of his foot man, about to do their first dinner service.

"Do I pass, papa?" She teased nervously.

"You look lovely, Ella Cee." He responded, and she smiled at her nickname and threw her arms around his waste. (There were two Ella's at the school and if they were ever together people would add 'C' to her name because of her last name. She had told her papa that and he had taken to calling her Ella Cee. That was the only nickname he ever used for her. Unlike her mama, who called her multiple loving nicknames.)

Elsie answered the knock, and ushered Robb in.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Carson thank you for letting me take Ella to the fair tonight. These are for you Mrs. Carson, I know their your favorite." He grinned as he handed her the bag of raspberry drops.

"Thank you, Robb. Now you two have a nice time, and have her back by nine o'clock!" Elsie told the young boy sternly as she herded them out the door. She watched them walk down the lane and then shut the door, resting her back against the door willing herself not to cry.
-

Ella and Robb walked in silence to the gates at the end of the drive. It felt natural, comfortable even.

Robb broke the silence as they passed the heavy iron gates, "You look lovely tonight, Ella."

She blushed faintly and smiled up at him, "Thank you. You look very nice also." Not for the first time cursing herself for her awkwardness.

"Ella, would you mind if I held your hand?" He asked hesitantly, almost shyly. He watched her nod her assent and interlaced his fingers with hers.

As they walked along the path to the village, they talked about everything. From school to cricket to candy, nothing was off limits. They laughed with each other and were both at ease when they made it to the fair. He bought two glasses of lemonade and laughed at her face when she took the first sip that was always sour. He helped her onto a horse on the carousel and they took a few turns on that. They got off, slightly dizzy and high from the fun of it all. He pointed to the dance floor, and she hesitated but shrugged anyway. They danced, and danced. The last song being a slow anthem that had him pull her a bit closer so they could sway to the melancholy notes that floated around them from the band. They stopped at a game and he won her a small teddy bear which he presented with an exaggerated flourish.

At eight thirty, they started for home, holding hands the whole way. They stopped outside the door and he grabbed her other hand. "Ella, I had a really wonderful time tonight. You're not like those other girls, and I really like that." He told her earnestly.

"I had a marvelous time too, and I really like you too." She whispered back. He gathered her into a hug and she took to her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, "You had better go, or your mother will have your head!" He laughed and kissed her hand before turning to leave.

She watched him, and felt her mama's arm wrap around her shoulders. (Which was getting harder because along with the curves, she has also shot up to just about Elsie's height.) Ella wrapped her arms around Elsie's waist as they walked inside, and up the stairs, all the while, she was chattering about her night. No detail too small for her mama to know. Elsie smiled knowingly, and helped her out of the dress and corset, and undid her hair to brush it and re braided it all for the night.

"Mama, how did you know you loved papa?" she asked with eyes full of questions.

"Well, it just happened, one day I looked at him, and I just kind of knew." Elsie said quietly.

"But, mama, what does it feel like to be in love?" Ella asked insistently.

Elsie sighed, "Well, it started with butterflies, whenever I was around him. Then we were such good friends even when we weren't talking it felt like we were silently communicating anyway. It feels like, if something were to happen to your papa, half of my heart, half of my soul would just vanish. I wouldn't feel complete anymore. I would be like a shell of who I once was. Does that help?"

Ella nodded and snuggled into her bed. "Mama, I get butterflies when I am with Robb. And even when we aren't speaking, we are completely comfortable around each other." Elsie waited patiently for her to finish. "I know I am only thirteen, but I think I may be on my way to falling in love."

Elsie cupped her girls cheek and kissed her forehead, "Maybe you are, my sweet girl, but don't rush it. You have all your life to be grown up and in love, but only one chance to be young. Now, go to bed. I love you."

"I love you too, mama." Ella said softly, and snuggled into her bed, clutching the teddy bear Robb had won her closely to her chest.

Elsie crept into their darkened room and undressed quietly. She put her arm around her husband and heard him sigh.

"Well, how is she?" he asked tersely.

"Desperately in love with Robb Bradley, but she had a marvelous time and he did nothing untoward. So you can rest easy on that score. I do believe we shall be seeing more of him though, so you best get used to the idea, of our girl dating." She said lightly.

"I guess our daughter is growing up isn't she." He said grimly as he started to put his arms around his wife, but stopped short at the look of heart break of Elsie's face. "What is it?" he asked quickly.

"She isn't our daughter, I mean not really. We adopted her, but Charles, I didn't carry her for nine months. I didn't watch her learn to walk, or hear her first word. I didn't get any of that with her. She won't even refer to me as her mother, that title is reserved for the woman who carried her, nursed her, watched her toddle across the floor for the first time! Oh, Charles, don't you see she will never see me as her mother, and I know its trivial, but it matters!" Elsie sobbed into his chest.

"Oh my darling, I bet, if her mother were here, she would trade places with you in a second. You may only ever be her mama, but don't you see, you got to help her with her first date, and her becoming a woman, and buying proper clothes to fit her new status as a young woman. You will see her fall in love, get married, and have children of her own. My dear, I truly believe that I prefer being papa, and getting to see all those things than being her father, who only got a glimpse of the lovely person she is growing into." Charles soothed Elsie.

She looked up at him and smiled through her tears, "I guess you are right, it's just so difficult at times, knowing I have to complete with a ghost, and from what Ella has told me, a near perfect one at that."

"Elsie, I am terribly sorry we didn't ever have children, but please know that you are an excellent mama to our girl." Charles knew that he had robbed her of being a mother, but there was no looking back at what could have been.

Elsie kissed him soundly and snuggled into his chest. She may never be a mother, but by god, she would work to be the best mama she possibly could for her girl.

Let me know!
much love,
Samantha