Holy crap. Just... holy crap. There are no words in existence that can even come remotely close to expressing how sorry I am for being such a bitch. I am so sorry for not posting anything up sooner, but for all of you who are actually interested, here's an explanation:

1. I had a horrible sinus infection that ended up screwing with my inner ear so I coudln't even sit up straight, much less do anything else.

2. Luckily, I got over that, but as soon as I did, I had to leave and was gone in England/France from Saturday moring, 10:00, to the next Monday night, 11:00. I was gone 10 days.

3. Right after that, I had to suffer through the private school equivalent of TAKS testing.

4. Literally the weekend right after I got back from Europe, my mom dragged me to Mississippi to look at colleges.

5. The weekend right after that, I was at Baylor.

6. Aaand the weekend after that, I was writing essays for my English teacher, and unfortunately, fan-fiction does not count as College Essay A. I wish it did.

Here are my pitiful excuses, i hope you can forgive me.

"Uh, Jazz, you might... wanna slow down. There's a cop... Oh. Never mind, that's just the crazy psycho robot that chased us yesterday. Go as fast as you want."

"Huh?"

The silver Solstice nearly swerved into oncoming traffic in shock.

"Wha'? Where?"

"To the left of you."

"You're really calm 'bout all this."

Sam shrugged, placing the doll in his lap and clutching the dashboard with both hands.

"Well, no reason to freak, right? It's not going to help- if anything, it'll make everything worse."

"Righ', righ'. Look, is there any place that's pretty much empty? Ah'm not gonna b' able to outrun him again."

"Well... there's an old car-yard about two miles from here, just turn left then straight."

"T'ank you kindly."

Jazz swerved sharply, weaving in and out of traffic. Satan's Saleen flashed his lights, sirens blaring, and the crowded highway parted like the red sea.

"Duuude," the silver car groaned, "that is soo cheatin'. Ok, kiddo, listen up," Jazz said, suddenly serious, " Ah'm gonna throw open th' door and you're gonna have to jump out. When y' do, roll as far away as possible. I dun' wanna accidentally squish yawhen I transform, soo..."

"I get it."

"Ok, now!"

The car swung to the side, passenger door opening. Sam leapt out of the moving vehicle, tucking himself into a ball and rolling away. The mechanical, techno sound effect noise of the two cars transforming accompanied his run for some rather dubious looking cover.

"Barri-cade, my man, I haven't seen ya in a while!"

"Where is the boy."

Jazz... the only word Sam could use to describe the action was, well, pouting. His giant alien robot watchdog was pouting.

The silver bot crossed his arms and tapped a foot, looking for all the world like an irate housewife.

"Cadie, baby, is that all ya have t' say t' meh? Ya never call, y' never write, why, the kids are missin' their daddy, honey!"

"Autobot Jazz, there is no time for your foolery. Where is the boy?"

Maybe it was just Sam, but he could have sworn there was a note of urgency in the heavily vocoded voice.

"N' time t' play w' me? Aww, too sad. I haven't had a good bantering session in forevah!"

The large, intimidating Decepticon growled, pounding a hand with his opposite fist.

"There is no time! Where is the boy!"

Sam stepped out from behind his rock, being careful to stay at least partially behind Jazz. No need for random giant alien robots to et trigger happy- well, not without his metal shield, at least...

"Why do you need me?"

"Sam, get back!"

"You!"

The other robot- Barricade?- turned towards him, an almost terrified gleam in his crimson optics.

"You! You are the key to everything, Samuel Witwickey! The Allspark, the Energon, and especially... the cure. You have the cure... you could fix everything..."

"Uh, Cadie? Yer talkin' nonsense, baddie bot."

Jazz subtly moved himself in front of Sam, protecting the fragile human from any sort of attack the frantic bot might throw their way.

"You don't understand! You-"

:Incoming Transmission:

Barricade jerked, knowing full well that Jazz could hear every word.

:No, no! Deny! De-:

:'Cade! We need you back here now!:

The line was filled with static and something that sounded like screaming. Jazz, who was broadcasting the transmission for Sam's benefit, looked at the human in confusion.

:No, Sky, st-:

:It's Screamer! The glitched slag-head who calls himself our leader put him on SD again, and another one died! He's going nuts!:

The screaming grew louder.

"Jazz? What's SD?"

The silver bot shook his head.

"I don't know, Sam..."

:Sky, it's not his-:

:I know, TC! Trust me, I do, but that doesnt' mean I'm not mad at him!:

:Trine, this conversation isn't as private as you think it is!:

The lines went silent, except for the ever present screaming.

:Just get here.:

:Understood.:

Barricade cut the transmission line.

"What the slag was that?"

"I can't- there's no time! I already told you that! Just..."

He transformed into his car mode, scuffed black and white paint gleaming dully.

"Just remember that nothing is as it seems, and even the good guys don't always tell the truth."

And with that, the car pealed out in a cloud of dust.

I hope you accept this piece of crap chapter as a peace offering.