Fade To Nothing

By: Kadi

Rated: T

A/N: That was a longer absence than I planned, but good lord that cold knocked the stuffing out of me! Thanks for being patient, and to everyone who has been commenting, much love! Also, if I haven't mentioned it, my beta is awesome! Just remember, all errors leftover remain mine... and I'm so sorry I don't catch them all.

Chapter 10

Activity in the Murder Room was in full swing by the time that Andy arrived. He took a moment, upon stepping inside, to let his gaze sweep the area. The main murder board was filled with details from the current murders while a second had been set up with the information that Rusty had gathered. His eyes narrowed, while his jaw clenched. Andy's gaze swept the room again before settling on the open blinds of his wife's office.

She was inside, seated behind her desk, and did not appear to be even the slightest bit enthused at what she was hearing from the men who were gathered in her office. Andy studied the scene for a moment. Provenza was looking just as frustrated. Howard was harder to get a read on, but he had always played the bureaucratic game a little too well for Andy's liking. Mason was a lot easier to read. This would be a good power play for him. Controlling their investigation would allow him to feel like he was controlling them. He was ambitious, and that was never a good thing in Andy's book.

Sharon must have felt his eyes on her. She looked up at that moment and met his gaze. Andy lifted the shopping bag he brought with him. He knew they hadn't really packed a lot to choose from, so he had gone by the condo to pick up a couple of suits for the both of them. Andy had changed while he was there, and was only just leaving to pick up Emily and Ricky when the officers arrived to collect the information from Rusty's murder board. When Sharon nodded at him, Andy walked around and pushed her door open.

"…until we have irrefutable proof that Phillip Stroh is responsible for both murders, Commander, I am not going to authorize the kind of resources that you are requesting."

Andy scowled at the Assistant Chief. He pushed the door closed behind him. "Irrefutable proof?" He said, voice rising along with is agitation. "What more do you need, Chief? A video of Stroh walking down Hollywood Boulevard holding a sign that says I did it."

Sharon pressed her lips together and looked at the surface of her desk. That wasn't exactly how she might have worded it, but he got the point across. Her lips pursed and her head tilted to one side when she glanced up again, this time to stare at him over the tops of her glasses. "Thank you, Lieutenant, but I'm not certain the Chief would require something quite that obvious." She arched a brow at the man in question, "Would you?"

Mason looked between the two of them. He questioned allowing the two of them to stay in the same division when he took over as Assistant Chief. He considered the downside, again, when the two of them had gotten married, and their honeymoon had left the division down two detectives, instead of one. Now he was wondering if he was really willing to deal with two grieving parents, instead of one. They might not be breaking any rules, and there was certainly nothing written that prevented them from being able to remain in the same division together, but it was left to his discretion. Mason was beginning to think that it might be time to separate them, get someone else inside Major Crimes that could actually do the work. He arched a brow at the Lieutenant. "Is that a video that you'd be able to film from your desk, Lieutenant? You don't really get out into the field much these days, as I understand it." He paused, "not unless your commanding officer is present, and I seem to recall that her own duty clearance is currently limited."

All eyes snapped to the Chief upon that statement. Even Provenza appeared surprised at the direction Mason had chosen to take the conversation. "Chief." Sharon rose slowly from her chair. She watched Andy straightening, squaring his shoulders. She could almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding together but she lifted a couple of fingers in his direction, the only sign he needed before stepping back and assuming a deceptively relaxed stance. "Unless you would like to discuss the way my division functions in a more formal setting, I think it would be better to table your opinion about the Lieutenant's current status until we've concluded this investigation. In the meantime, we have two murders, committed within days of each other, and we are only minutes away from identifying Phillip Stroh on the security footage that we obtained from the parking garage. Arranging security for the individuals that I listed is not simply preemptive, it is the only responsible choice that we can make at this time. I would urge you to look again for room in the budget for the resources that we need. Or do Chief Howard and I need to explain, again, that finding Phillip Stroh is also a major priority for Chief Pope?"

The Assistant Chief returned her gaze. No, he didn't need to hear it again. She was only bringing it up to make certain that he didn't miss the inherent threat in her words. She would call the Chief unless he was willing to give in to her demands, and if she didn't, the Deputy Chief would. "Limited security details for the individuals that you indicated," the Chief agreed, "to be pulled as necessary. We will assign a full task force when you can prove that Stroh is still in the city." He shook his head as he walked toward the door. "Things were a lot quieter around here when those two," he told Provenza, "were still on their honeymoon."

"Hm." Sharon lifted her gaze to the ceiling. "Yes, Chief," she replied coolly, "and while I was away on my honeymoon, my son was murdered, despite the fact that he had a security detail. I am still waiting for an explanation for how that happened."

"I believe your division is handling that investigation, Commander. Perhaps you should direct that question to them, along with the department head responsible for the SIS team that was covering Mr. Beck."

Sharon's head tilted as he left. Her gaze moved from Chief Howard to Lieutenant Provenza. "That is exactly what I intend to do." He had just given her authority to investigate within the department, which would give her the ability to pull further resources as needed, without realizing that he had done it. Sharon shook her head. In his rush to establish his dominance, the Assistant Chief was allowing his ego to get away from him. It was going to need pruning very soon.

Andy snorted as he crossed the office. He dropped the shopping bag on her desk. "That is exactly why we wanted you to get that job," he reminded her, and not for the first time.

"Noted." Sharon arched a brow at him. "Again." She gave him a pointed look. It was not a conversation that she was willing to have again. They had been over this too many times to count.

Fritz shook his head. "You know, he's not Taylor." He understood what the Commander had done, and the reasons for it, but she was going to run out of aces if she kept playing all of her cards up front. "He's going to realize what you did here, and he's going to be ready for it next time. Mason has plans for the department, and especially your division. If he doesn't think you're willing to work with him, he will find someone that is."

"I have made a career out of dodging the egos of the men who have been given authority equal to or greater than my own, gentlemen," Sharon shrugged at them, "and I am not especially concerned about the Chief's aspirations at this point in time. What I am concerned about is finding the man responsible for the two murders that were committed in this city, this week, one of which happened in my own home. Now, before any of you make the argument that I am not objective, I am going to stop you. There is not a single person in this room, or in this division, that is currently objective where those murders are concerned." She looked at Lieutenant Provenza, who had not yet managed to get her alone, and not for lack of trying, "your objections are noted, and I will understand if you wish to make them official. It will not change the fact that I am not going to stay at home and wait for Phillip Stroh to come knocking on my door again. So before we continue, are we all crystal clear on that point?" She looked at each man in turn, and focused on her husband last.

Andy simply returned her gaze. "Emily and Ricky are checked in at the Biltmore. I figured we would play hell getting extra security out of Mason, so I put us in a suite. The uniformed detail is on the door. It's going to be hell on my AmEx, but I figure my boss is good for it. It's an older hotel, not as many access points, expensive, but easier to secure," he explained. It was also closer to the PAB than any of the other choices he might have entertained. "You've got a change of clothes in the bag, and a couple more suits down in the car." He arched a brow at her, "so if that's not clear enough, let me go on record as saying I'm not dumb enough to tell you to sit this one out."

"Since those extra resources that you're asking for come from my department," Fritz interrupted, before the conversation could devolve any further, or Lieutenant Provenza could do more than scowl at the back of his partner's head, "what exactly are we talking about here? Do we actually expect to bring Stroh in?" He doubted very seriously that he would be willing to do that. This particular thorn in his side had been allowed to annoy them for too damn long. He was also having a hell of a time keeping Brenda out of the city. If it wasn't for the fact that she was in Atlanta visiting her father, he thought she might have already thrown herself into the middle of their investigation.

The Commander folded her arms across her chest. "We are going to operate precisely as we always do, and that is within the exact confines of the law. If Phillip Stroh refuses to be captured, Chief, there is nothing that any of us can do to prevent the consequences he may face for resisting. If you are looking for an official confirmation…" She glanced away, just for a moment, while she considered their options. "Yes, we are going to use all of the resources available to us to make sure that Phillip Stroh is found, and that he is stopped."

If Howard was surprised, he didn't show it. Instead, he nodded as he rose from his seat. "Very well, I'll go make sure those security details that we discussed are in place. Someone might want to give Linda Rothman a heads up before my guys show up at her office."

"We'll make sure that she is notified," Sharon nodded, "Thank you, Chief." She waited until he had gone before she turned her attention back to the Lieutenant. "Speak now, it may be your only chance," she said.

Provenza shook his head. "I don't disagree. It's just not how you normally do things. You generally leave the bulldozer approach to one of us and clean it up afterward. Are you sure that's how you want to play it? Even with Mason?"

"I am sure," She shrugged. "The Chief is still finding his footing with us. He isn't familiar with this suspect, and he may know all of the history as it presents itself on paper, but he wasn't here. He doesn't know what this division went through to get Stroh off the street the first time around. He wasn't part of the fallout, and he wasn't with us while we were keeping Rusty safe, every day, of the last six years of our lives. He didn't watch an abandoned child grow into a man and become more than a material witness. Chief Mason never had to butt heads with DDA Rios over Rusty's testimony or his foster placement. He was not part of the relationship that was built between her office and ours, or the respect that eventually grew out of those initial meetings. This is periphery for him. It is important because of the political ramifications. He is going to budge only where he has to. If I have to shove him over a few more inches, so be it. That is my job. Let me worry about it."

Provenza studied the floor for a moment. There was a greater concern to be had. He wasn't sure that she had thought about it yet, and he was pretty certain that Flynn hadn't. Finally, he nodded. "What about when you don't have a job left to worry about?" He asked quietly.

"That is a concern that I will address if and when it becomes an issue," Sharon assured him. "Lieutenant, please don't worry about that. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve. Not to mention a favor or two. Some returns are long over due and I am prepared to call them in if it becomes necessary. You needn't worry about me, not for any reason. Okay?"

He slanted a look at his partner and made a face. "Well, someone has to do it," he muttered, "Everyone else around here is too busy tripping over themselves trying to do your bidding. Did you pick up her dry cleaning too?"

Andy rolled his eyes at his partner. He fixed him with a bland look. "You know, I thought I was forgetting something. I'll make sure to do that on my way back to the hotel tonight."

Sharon lifted her gaze heavenward and drew a deep, calming breath. "Lieutenants. Is there anything else?"

Provenza made a face at his partner again, but shook his head. "No, Commander." The Lieutenant turned toward the door. "I'm going to see where Tao is with pulling the information on Stroh's movements from Rusty's computer. We'll let you know when we're ready for you."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Sharon waited until he had gone before her gaze dropped to the shopping bag. She tipped it toward her and peered inside. Sharon made a low sound of approval. The dark blue, silk blouse was reserved enough for how she was feeling, and the charcoal pinstripe blazer that he picked would go well enough with the slacks that she was already wearing. "How were the kids when you left them?"

"Worried." Andy shrugged. He dropped into one of the now vacant chairs in front of her desk with a sigh. "Scared. Frustrated. Take your pick, Sharon. Ricky isn't all that pleased with either of us, and Emily is frightened enough for everyone to be willing to do whatever we tell her." His head inclined. "I also think she might have been flirting with Detective Paige, but I can only deal with one disaster at a time."

Sharon's mouth opened, but quickly closed again. She stared at her husband. She was fully prepared for his irreverent sense of humor to begin asserting itself again, especially now that they were back at work, but he looked utterly serious and completely convinced of what he was saying. She blinked a few times. He was staring back at her and there was not a single part of him that was at all amused. "You are absolutely correct," she stated, "and while that reminds me of a few question we had during our wedding reception, let's definitely save any further discussion until much, much later."

"That would be my preference, but she is her mother's daughter, she could have just been trying to get information out of her." Andy smoothed down his tie, as he got comfortable in his seat. He had opted for a gray shirt, but the tie was blue. "Ricky promised to stay put, and said he would deal with us later." He rolled his eyes at that. "The mortuary has been taken care of and I was still at our place when the uniforms dropped by. They should have everything," he nodded his head toward the murder room.

"At what point during the entire twenty-plus years that we have known each other have you ever known me to flirt with anyone to get information?" Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "You are on increasingly thin ice, Lieutenant. You may not have been… how did you put it?" She folded her arms again and narrowed her eyes at him, "Dumb enough to tell me to sit this out, but if I were you, I would consider your next words very carefully."

Andy tapped a finger against his pursed lips. "The Greg Miller deal." He pointed his finger at her. "I wasn't going to give you even an inch on that one, but you fluttered those lashes and got all pouty on me, and I didn't want to be the asshole that left you hanging. So instead, I had to put up with them," he waved his hand toward the murder room, "giving me hell for weeks for being the first one to cave."

Sharon stared at him, not entirely sure what he was talking about. It clicked, after a moment, and her eyes widened. "Are you talking about the grocery store case? Oh my god. I did not." Her hands moved to her hips. "I have never fluttered anything at you," she held up a hand to keep him from interrupting, "before two years ago." She shrugged, "maybe three, but certainly never in a professional setting, and definitely not before you stopped being a jerk to me all the time."

"Why do you think I stopped being a jerk?" He smirked at her. Andy pushed himself out of the chair. "Don't deny it now, you know what you did."

"Hm." Her brow rose. "Do I?" Her lips pursed. "Tell me something, Lieutenant, do you have a problem with how that is working out for you now?"

"Nope." He walked over and pulled the blinds for her, so that she would be able to change after he left. "No problem at all. Except for the slightly charred and melting edges of my American Express card. I'm just pointing out the fact that the apples didn't fall very far from the tree where either of the kids is concerned. Expect the Ricky inquisition when you get back, I think he forgets, sometimes, just how long we've all been doing this."

"He does." Sharon shook her head. A small smile curved her lips. She knew that the kids were worried about her, and probably their stepfather, too, and she wished there was something she could do to allay those fears. Her priority, though, needed to be making sure that they stayed safe. "How bad is it?" She held out a hand, "the suite?"

Andy groaned. He pulled the folded receipt from inside his jacket and handed it to her, "brace yourself."

She grimaced. "Ouch." A few nights at that rate would put a sizable dent in their joint savings, especially after what they had spent on the wedding and their honeymoon. She dropped the receipt on her desk. She would do what she could to get most of it reimbursed, but it was unlikely. "Don't worry, your boss is good for it, one of them at least."

"I would love to see the look on Mason's face when you expense that." Andy finished pulling the blinds on the other side of her office and moved to the door. "I'm going to go get caught up. Are you okay here?"

"I am." She nodded once and smiled at him. "Thank you, Andy. I will join you in a few minutes." He left her to get changed and Sharon dropped into her chair. She leaned her head back and sighed. She was trying to act normal, they all were, more or less. The only problem was she didn't feel normal. It was just as she had told Andy a couple of days ago. She had changed. She could sense it and she was certain the others could too. Even being there, in her office, didn't feel entirely normal any longer.

Sharon closed her eyes. It was in this office that she and Rusty had come to their first understanding. This was where she had made the decision that changed both of their lives. It was where they were the first time that he said he loved her. Her jaw clenched while she forced back a well of emotion. This office had always felt like a second sanctuary for her, but like the condo, it was also impacted by recent events. Sharon wondered if any part of her life would ever feel normal again, and in the absence of that, what she was meant to do with it.

A hand curled around his upper arm as Andy left the office. He scowled as he was jerked away from his desk and down the hall that led away from the murder room. A deep scowl drew his brows together. Andy jerked his arm free at the same time that he was pushed into one of the interview rooms. "What the hell is your problem?"

Provenza glared at him. "We all know what's wrong with her, but you want to tell me what the hell is wrong with you? How can you just stand there while she tosses her career away? It's your job to—"

"No," Andy cut him off, "it's not." He shook his head at his partner. "The one thing that Sharon and I always had going for us, that made this work, is that we keep our personal relationship out of the office as much as we can. We don't get involved in the other's career, not if we can help it." She had definitely had to be involved in his since the heart attack, but that was part of the very thin line they walked with her being his boss. The difference was, though, she hadn't done it as his partner; she had done it as his boss and nothing more. His partner would have preferred it if he had retired, but his boss couldn't afford to lose him. "Dammit, Provenza, don't you get it?" He gestured helplessly, "She doesn't care, and I can't change that, because frankly… I don't exactly give a damn right now either. My job, my only job right now is keeping her and the kids safe and making sure she doesn't lose herself in all this. That's it. That's all I give a damn about. The rest of it…" he shook his head again. "The politics, the red tape, Mason and his agenda… it's just bullshit. It doesn't matter. It stopped mattering for Sharon the minute we found Rusty."

"What do you think is going to happen to her when this is finished? What is she going to do when we've got Stroh dead or in custody and she doesn't have a career to speak of because she burned too many bridges? It's going to matter then. Dammit!" Provenza tossed his hands up in frustration. "She's already losing herself in this. She's cashing in the chips she's saved for years because she can't be bothered to play the game the way she helped design it to be played. I shouldn't have to tell you this. Of everyone in this damned building you should know better."

"You don't think I know?" Andy shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor. "She's done, Provenza. It ended for Sharon when Rusty died. She's cashing in those chips now, on this case, because it's going to be her last." His head lifted. He met his partner's gaze and shrugged. "She hasn't said it, I'm not even sure she's thought it. Of everyone in this damned building," he echoed, "I'm the one who knows, because I know her. For the last six years nothing has mattered more to Sharon than keeping Rusty safe. It doesn't matter that we weren't here. It doesn't matter that we couldn't watch him every second of every day, for the rest of his life or ours. It's never going to matter that there was nothing she could do to stop it. She's never going to forgive herself. It's over."

Provenza walked over and took a seat at the interview table. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. "She's going to hunt him down. She isn't going to care how we find Stroh, as long as we do. The reason she's willing to waste so many favors on bringing in extra resources is because nothing else is ever going to matter as much to her as putting a bullet in Phillip Stroh's head." He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Are you actually going to let her do that?"

"No." Andy shrugged again. He looked at the floor again. It was scuffed and scarred, and no amount of waxing would ever be able to bring it back. His bottom lip jutted out while he thought about his wife, and how the floor was a pretty damned good metaphor for her heart. She might be getting better physically, but a part of her would always be broken. She was never going to be the same. They could pretend, they could go through each day putting on a pretty damn good show for everyone, but that's all it would ever be, a show. He lost her when Rusty died, at least as she had been. She would never be that woman again, and all he could do was hold on to what was left. "I'm not going to let her lose herself to this," he said again, "we won't let it get that far. However much she's changed, I'm not sure that part of her is gone. In the end, I'm not really sure she could do it anyway. It doesn't matter, because it's not going to happen. You or me, Julio, Tao, hell even Amy, I don't care who does it, as long as it isn't Sharon. She's done; I'm not going to let everything she ever stood for be done too."

Provenza allowed his hands to drop. "So then, when it comes time, we have to make sure it's clean. We'll keep doing this by the book."

"Yeah." Andy took a couple of steps toward the table. "Has she ever let us do it any other way?" He shook his head. "It's all she's got now. So that's what we'll do."

His partner grew silent for several long moments. "Okay," Provenza finally said. "We'll do this your way, for now anyway. If that doesn't work, we'll figure something else out."

"Good." Andy turned, moving toward the door again, but stopped. "Provenza. She picked out a suit. I dropped off a check for the mortuary. We're putting her kid in the ground in a few days. Let's get the bastard before we do that."

"By any means," his partner answered. Even if those means meant following the rules, as they were written, every step of the way.

-TBC-