It was two years since Sherlock jumped off St. Bart's, and John grew very lonely since then; Rachel had to move back to Ohio because of family issues and Christina….he was falling love with her. He didn't know why or how he was, but seeing her smile and how she fought with the death of Sherlock made him feel stronger everyday. But there was one problem with loving Christina, and that was she was already engaged to Sherlock; John thought about that many times he was with Christina, he knew loving her will end the friendship he had with Sherlock. So John kept his feelings inside for now, just in case something happens with Christina's feeling for her deceased fiancé. As John thought of this, Christina was just waking up for a good night's sleep; she came out dressed in a cami and shorts with her hairs all wavy and brushed neatly. John couldn't help but to watch her as she waddled into the kitchen to get some orange juice, and then come and sit at the small table with John. "Good morning…." Christina yawned moving the hair out of her face. John smiled a big smile at her and answered, "Good morning to you too." Christina cocked her head in confusion at John wondering why he is so happy this morning, for today was the anniversary of Sherlock's death and normally John sulks throughout the day at this time, but he isn't how odd.
"John, do you know what today is?" Christina asked as she sipped her orange juice. John frowned at her when she mentioned today; he knew exactly what today was, but seeing Christina happy made him happy. "Yes I know exactly what today is…." John paused, "But I am not going." Christina raised her eyebrow hearing those words come out of his mouth like that; Sherlock was his friend and now John was going to ditch him all together? But why, Christina hasn't given up on him and neither should John, it isn't logical to give up on your best friend; even though Rachel is in America now Christina isn't mad at her for it, so John shouldn't be mad at Sherlock for leaving. John began to cry, putting his hands to his face so Christina wouldn't see he was a wimp, but Christina didn't care if John was a solider or not, she only cared for him and his well-being. "John…look at me…please" Christina placed her hand on John's should as she kneeled down. John uncovered his face and turned to face Christina who was also crying as well, "Yes…" John looks up at Christina in mid smile but he couldn't keep a straight face. "Don't cry….I'm here…" Christina hugged him then John did something he would never forget for the rest of his life; he stood her up cupping his hand under Christina's neck then he came down slowly kissing her and releasing his emotions on it. Christina, who was so confused, just went on with it and kissed him back and threw her arms around his neck; the two moved in their kiss as they released there feelings for one another.
Christina stopped in the midst getting some air, "John…this isn't right…" she said sitting down in Sherlock's chair. John nodded to her gesture, "Yes…I am sorry…I don't know what came over me." Christina shook off the feeling of being kissed by her friend and decided it was high time to go to the cemetery alone. Before she left, she gave John a good long stare then spun on her heels and left the flat all flustered and with an sickly feeling in her stomach; it was more like butterflies the a sickly feeling. Christina walked out of Baker Street and down the street to the end of the curb, where she then called a cabbie so she can go to the cemetery and as she got in she thought of the kiss she just shared with John.
His lips were soft, but needy like he wanted me. We were in sync with each other, somehow somewhere we both needed someone for each other; yes Sherlock is gone, but I still love him or do I? Woah…slow down Christina, your not saying you love John are you, because that would lead to major problems in your life and in his. But his body, his lips….they all said 'I want you'.
Suddenly the cabbie driver broke her thought process, "Oi! You getting out or what Miss?" Christina shook off her thoughts about John and stepped out of the cabbie and walked the rest of the way to the cemetery in the blasted rain again. She forgot her umbrella again so; looks like Christina had to get wet; while walking her thoughts went back to John and his kiss.
Why me? I may be pretty and intellectual, but why me? John could've gone out and find some girl that was better for him than me who is engaged….to a death man…how odd is that. But it does say in the Bible, that if your husband/fiancé dies you can marry or love again, so does this mean I can 'love' John? I don't know anymore…my feelings are so messed up now. I guess I can give John a try…but it will be rather awkward for me.
Christina then reached the cemetery and it stopped raining in the midst of her thoughts, she walked into the graveyard and saw the tombstone with Sherlock's name engraved in gold letters. She stood there touching the top of the stone, crying her heart out for her fiancé; Sherlock being gone really affected Christina in a way that John or Mrs. Hudson would understand. Christina crouched towards the ground sobbing, suddenly she noticed that her ring she left at the tombstone was gone, and someone must of stolen it or found and called it there own, wherever it was it's gone now. Getting up off the ground the caretaker of the cemetery saw her and came over to assist in anyway, "Miss Christina?" the caretaker said softly coming up behind her. Christina turned around and saw the man grinning at her, but she wasn't happy to see the man at all; so she came up and stared at him. "Yes sir?" she sniffled a bit as she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the trench coat, "I couldn't help over hearing your sobs, is everything okay?" the man asked her. Christina then began to cry again, but this time hugging the strange caretaker of the cemetery like he was her only friend; the caretaker was actually Sherlock in disguise, but Christina didn't know that nor did she needed to know. So the caretaker hugged her back tightly in a secure grip not wanting to let her go, but Christina pushed away from him and began speaking. "My…umm friend John Watson…expressed feeling towards me this morning…with a kiss…a passionate one." Christina stuttered. The caretaker was surprised not for Christina, but for John; John was Sherlock's friend why would he fall in love with his fiancé? "Oh…I am sorry…" the caretaker said beginning to leave, when Christina said, "What should I do, what is logical?"
The man stood there with is back turned, trying not to cry; he held back the tears and answered Christina the best he could, "Follow your heart…but never let your mind escape you." Then the man disappeared leaving Christina yet again alone in the yard surrounded my tombstones and trees; she took in a deep breathe and headed back home, back to Baker Street.
~8~
Evening came and Christina just came back from a long walk and thought around London town; she felt her fantasies and emotions confronting her after the kiss she shared with John this morning. It was a difficult decision for Christina to make, it was either continue to love a dead man or move on or love someone else; Christina didn't want to but her feelings were telling her to do so. As Christina came into 221B, she could hear a violin being play roughly throughout the flat screeching and piercing Christina's ears in a violent way; she looked around the flat trying to find John and once she found him, he was teaching himself how to play Sherlock's violin. Christina opened the door to John's room and stepped in watching him perfect the violin, but his success wasn't satisfactory enough for him; John threw the violin on the bed and began to sob. "John…" Christina said placing her hand on his shoulder. "Yes Christina?" John asked as he wiped his tears off his face with the sleeve of his wooly jumper. Christina grabbed the violin and the bow beginning to play it for John, who was tearing up again from how beautiful Christina plays the music. Once Christina finished the song she laid the violin back on the bed and turned to face John, "Look….umm I was thinking…about this morning and…" John cut her off right there, "I know, it wasn't my place to do that. I am sorry." John stood up from the bed and began to walk out when Christina stopped him in mid stride, "No, John…I sort of liked it…" she said in a grin. John's eyes widened with happiness as he turns to face Christina yet again, but this time with no tears.
"You did?" John asked raising his eyebrow without sound like an idiot. Christina nodded and walked closer towards John so they can be face to face; once she was closer Christina kissed John on the cheek and walked out of the room with John standing there in his room very baffled. When Christina came out of John's room she felt like her worries of being with John lifted, now she can not worry about a thing, unless Sherlock was really dead.
That night, Sherlock Holmes was out and about in London when he stopped outside of Baker Street to see how his friends were doing; and what he saw in the window was very shocking to him, it was Christina and John sharing another kiss. Sherlock was very sad, for he loved Christina but I guess that's what happens when you jump off a build and be gone for almost three years. The curly haired man stood there watching his best friend move around on Christina's lips and neck pouring out his feelings; the sadness Sherlock felt as he stood there outside Baker Street without interfering was immense, but revealing himself to them was too early, only one more month then he could see his friends again.
~8~
Day passed, and then weeks, then a month and it came to three years since Sherlock had jumped off of Bart's. Christina's feelings for John disappeared, for John found someone else instead of Christina to lean on for happiness, but that means Christina will be lonely now since John is with Mary Morstan.
It was a nice sunny morning, and Christina was up making breakfast for herself, since John was out with Mary; she hadn't been sleeping at all or leaving the flat either. The feeling of being alone took Christina back to what Sherlock said to her, "Alone is what I have. Alone protects me." It haunted her at night and throughout the rest of the day as she though of seeing her man again, but she knew that Sherlock wasn't coming back to her and that made her even sadder. The brunette sulked in a chair laying back and closing her eyes dreaming of being with Sherlock again, it was a lovely dream full of happiness and deductions, but when she opened her eyes that dream was not longer happy. Christina began to cry putting her hands up to her face and rocking in the chair; she couldn't handle it anymore the hurt was eating her away like rotten wood. In the midst of her tears and sorrow, creaking noises came from the stairway, the noises sounded like footsteps but Christina didn't want to raise her head to see who it was, she was too sad to move from the chair. Suddenly the footsteps came into 221B and closer towards Christina, who still didn't look up from her hands; the footsteps stopped in front of Christina and moved towards John's chair and sat down in it.
Christina was now scared that an intruder entered her flat. She raised her head up slowly from her damp teary hands; and the footsteps she heard were not an intruder but a ghost or that's what Christina thought when she saw the man sitting in John's chair was. Christina looked at the man and the man looked back at her with a small grin, and all Christina could say was, "You're alive?" in a flabbergasted tone. The man Christina saw was none other than Sherlock Holmes the consulting detective; he smiled as he stood Christina up whispering to her, "I am now…" He hugged her, but Christina pushed away from him and ran to Sherlock's room and slammed the door locking it, never coming out; she was too upset to love on him or even look at him. Sherlock knocked on the door many times, but Christina didn't answer or opened the door for him instead she slipped a note under the crack of the door saying, 'Three years Sherlock. You left me for three years!' Sherlock reads it, and feeling horrible he went to his violin and began playing it for Christina so she can feel better.
Sherlock knew that coming back wasn't the right decision, but maybe he can catch up with Christina better and maybe she'll love him again before he jumped off of Bart's; that was a lot of 'maybes' and not enough 'doing' for Sherlock's mind to comprehend. The two were distant from each other that night, Sherlock slept on the couch and Christina in Sherlock's room drowning in her tears after seeing her man; it was a sad night for both of them, full of unshared thoughts and feelings. Sherlock wondered if John's reaction will be the same as Christina's or will it be worse than just shutting him off. Sherlock is sorry for leaving but who else could kill off Moriarty's syndicate or live with the homeless community for three years; it was certain him who did so. But the time was now to rest back at home for Sherlock Holmes and get reacquainted with his life again, his real life not the one he had been living for three years, the one where he was engaged to Christina and John's best friend again that life. And that's what Sherlock rested on, was he'll wake up finding everything the same old stuff, and his life back together or so he thought…