Chapter 9: The Patronus

"I think the Fourth was my father."

Sasuke kept his promise. He didn't laugh. He also didn't speak. He probably didn't even move, actually.

The silence started to develop cobwebs, blanketing them like statues.

And then Naruto started fidgeting. "He – he said he loved me," he elaborated in a rush. "And he wanted to see me grow up. And the way he held on to me… it was like he never wanted to let go, even… even when he died…. That's – that's like a dad, right? I think that's what a dad would be like…."

This silence was briefly shocked into existence.

"That's what a dad would be like," confirmed Sasuke in a whisper.

Harry lay, frozen by his own thoughts and sudden whooshing emotion.

Naruto didn't even know how a father should act. True, Harry hadn't known firsthand, but he had seen others interact with their parents, especially Ron with Mr. Weasley or Dudley and Vernon. But he remembered that Naruto had lived alone his entire life. He had no real experience…. Had he ever felt truly loved at all?

"Blond hair, blue eyes, apparently stubborn as all hell…" Sasuke muttered. "I suppose I can see it. It just means you got your… lack of… intelligence from your mother, then, because the Fourth was a genius."

"BASTARD, WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?"

They were silent for a few seconds as Dean stirred at the noise. When he calmed back down and the breathing patterns returned to normal, Sasuke muttered,

"Kidding. Stupidity isn't hereditary. Probably."

Naruto growled only for a few seconds before quieting down. Then he muttered, somber again, "My mother was killed by the Kyuubi. She was in the hospital when a tail smashed it. My – my father couldn't go back for her. He had to go straight to the front lines to save the village…. I… I didn't get to see her. But her name was Kushina. He asked her to forgive him before he died."

Sasuke didn't respond. Harry wondered if Sasuke's heart had clenched along with Harry's at this story. Then Harry wondered if Sasuke had a heart.

No, he chided himself. This wasn't the time to be a smartass.

Naruto whispered, "I hate him."

"The Fourth?"

"Yeah. He sealed that thing in me, let my mother die, and then left me, too. I've never hated the Fourth before. But I didn't know what he had taken from me before."

Sasuke sighed before the quietness of the sleeping dorm could become silence again. He murmured patiently, "You don't hate him, Naruto. You're just angry."

"So you're allowed to hate your brother but I'm not allowed to hate my father?"

"My brother is a murderer," Sasuke said coldly, but in the same slow, patient tone. "Your father saved your life as well as the lives of everyone in the village. They're not comparable."

"Your brother spared your life," Naruto shot back. "Itachi's using you just like my father's using me by making me the vessel for his goddamn seal. Stop thinking you're the only one allowed to hate your family!"

Finally, pure, uninterrupted silence fell again.

Harry waited with bated breath. He was learning so much about them… and at the same time, all he wanted to do was sit up and join the conversation, convince Naruto his father loved him and Sasuke that hatred had to be overcome.

He got the feeling they wouldn't like finding out they'd been eavesdropped upon, though.

Then Sasuke said, "Hokages swear to protect the village and everyone in it. Hate your father for leaving you alone. Don't hate the Fourth for keeping his word. You would have done exactly the same in his place, and you know it, you morally rigid bastard."

Bitterness laced his tone, and Harry got the feeling Naruto was just as shocked as he was. Naruto actually affected Sasuke enough that he… resented Naruto? For uncompromising morality? What the hell?

Before Harry could blow his cover and sit up and demand an explanation, however, Naruto asked softly, "You don't just hate Itachi, do you? You hate all your family…."

Harry heard an almost frustrated sigh from Sasuke's bed, and then the faint rustle of curtains being moved. For an instant, Naruto squawked, "Wha-? Oof!"

There was the sound of a body hitting a bed at deadweight, and then the rustling of curtains again.

"Anymore heart-to-hearts and I'm going to kill somebody," muttered Sasuke seemingly to himself, and then he got into his own bed and pulled his own curtains shut.

The dorm was silent until morning.

XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX

Hermione and Sakura were alone in the dorm for the night. Lavender and Parvati were consulting the stars with Professor Trelawney, so Hermione was reading and Sakura was in the shower.

Hermione glanced up over the top of her Ancient Runes book as Sakura made her way back from the bathroom. Her bubble gum hair was up in a towel, and she had her nightgown on. She bent down to her trunk to put away her toiletries, and just when Hermione was about to return her attention to the Ancient Runes book, she caught a glimpse of-

"Is that Naruto?"

Sakura's eyes shot towards the door in surprise and just a little outrage, but Hermione snapped her book closed and elaborated, "No, that photograph. And… Sasuke? Oh, my! You guys are so young!"

She got up from bed to sit down next to her new friend and peered into the trunk. Lying perfectly visible in a top compartment was the photograph of Team 7.

"May I?" asked Hermione.

Sakura laughed. "Yeah, go ahead. That was taken four years ago. We do look really different, don't we?"

Hermione held the picture up to the light and smiled at the faces. Naruto was on the right, wearing some unfortunate orange tracksuit type thing and growling over the top of Sakura's head towards the other boy – black hair, black eyes, dark shirt, Sasuke. Sasuke, adorably young, was scowling off in the opposite direction. Sakura knelt in the middle, her still-pink hair flowing past her shoulders, looking as though she were literally squealing with happiness.

"Who's that man?" asked Hermione curiously. He was an odd man with lopsided gray hair, but he wore their school emblem, so she might hazard a guess at him being a teacher. He was holding on to Naruto and Sasuke's heads in a fatherly gesture, but Hermione, who knew Naruto and Sasuke well enough, realized he was probably holding them apart to stop a brawl.

"That's one of our teachers, Kakashi-sensei," said Sakura, peering fondly at the picture over Hermione's shoulder. "We went on fieldtrips in groups of four, and he was our escort teacher."

"That was how you guys got to be friends, then? Doing fieldtrips together?"

"Yeah. Poor Kakashi-sensei. We fought so much at first. He dealt with a lot of shit from Naruto and Sasuke, and me and Naruto."

Hermione laughed. "I can imagine."

"We were a hundred times worse than anything you've seen from us now," pointed out Sakura, grinning.

Hermione blinked. "Okay, maybe I can't." She laughed again and then asked, "Why'd you cut your hair? It's beautiful long!"

Sakura shrugged. "It got to be a pain."

"I'm glad Naruto grew up. He was an awkward child, wasn't he?"

Sakura's laughter was too long to be decent. "Hell yeah, he was!"

"But Sasuke's been cute his entire life, hasn't he?" Hermione smiled slightly at the large, expressive black eyes.

"Without a doubt," confirmed Sakura, still grinning. "I wish I had his baby pictures, but he'd probably kill me for even thinking about it."

Hermione laughed again. "I can believe that. So tell me about Konoha. Like, normal everyday life there. I'm sorry we only pry about the traumatic side," she added with an ashamed blush.

Sakura brushed it aside. "It's okay. Let's see… normal Konoha…"

Hermione watched as Sakura's face flitted through emotions as she apparently recalled memories of her home. Some quirked smiles, a few somber frowns, an indecent cackle.

"Okay, life in Konoha. If a fieldtrip takes longer than two weeks, I'm allowed to wrangle Kakashi-sensei into girl talk and play with his hair."

Hermione eyed the one-eyed teacher again and decided he must not be as vaguely ominous as he looked.

"My best friend, Ino, worked in a flower shop, and she always knew the best gossip about who was dating who. But we fought like all hell over Sasuke. Actually, about thirty girls fought like hell over Sasuke, but he ignored us all at the Academy. Ever notice how he always sits in back corners of classrooms?"

"Yeah," said Hermione.

"It's habit. That way he only has to put up with two girls battling over the chairs near him instead of four."

Hermione laughed at the peculiar dilemma.

Sakura continued, "Naruto was a devious little prankster. Almost every day, the teachers were after him for causing some mayhem or another. Once, another teacher, Iruka-sensei, had to drag him back class when he'd been skipping and tie him up in the front of the classroom to make him stay."

Hermione laughed aloud at the mental image. Then she said, "Ron has two brothers, Fred and George, who were some of the biggest pranksters in Hogwarts' history. I bet if our teachers were allowed to tie up students to make them stay, they would have sat through a lot more classes."

Sakura grinned. "I'm glad they're not here this year, then. If they teamed up with Naruto, Hogwarts would be doomed."

Hermione laughed and nodded adamantly.

"But I have to admit, when me and Sasuke team up with him, we're pretty unstoppable, ourselves," Sakura admitted, looking a little guilty.

Hermione arched an eyebrow. "You and Sasuke pulled a prank with Naruto? I can't see that."

Sakura's guilty expression was slowly replaced by a lopsided grin. "I can't say I approved of the prank itself, but Naruto was really depressed, and Sasuke and I wanted to cheer him up. And goddamn, did it work. You'll have to ask Naruto to tell the story, though, because I'm sure I can't do it justice. But besides that time, Kakashi-sensei is always late, and he always gives these lame excuses, so Naruto and I got back at him with a prank one time while Sasuke was…" her fond expression as she recalled the pranks suddenly faltered. She finished awkwardly, "…was gone."

Hermione had been listening with equal fondness and now let the expression fall, too. "Gone? You mean when he came to England?"

Sakura didn't meet her gaze. "Kind of." She smiled weakly and said, "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."

"Of course," said Hermione, backing off immediately.

She watched as Sakura nodded once in acknowledgment, still not looking at Hermione.

Hermione's expression softened as she noticed the glassy sheen that had come into Sakura's sea green eyes. She said quietly, "You really love him, don't you?"

The green eyes shut tightly, and Hermione saw the lashes glitter with moisture. "With all my heart," Sakura whispered.

Hermione felt the words pierce her own heart with the intensity, and she frowned in more sympathetic pain. "But he doesn't…?" she left the last words unsaid.

"No," breathed Sakura, a single tear breaking free from her lashes. "He doesn't."

Hermione nodded grimly, even though Sakura couldn't see it. She murmured, "I'm sorry."

The small smile that twisted Sakura's lips was bittersweet. "Me too."

XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX

"Why do you guys all look so tired?" asked Ron the next morning. He cheerfully shoved a whole sausage into his mouth and chomped away.

When Sasuke gave him the Evil Eye, he choked, and Harry had to beat his back to dislodge the meat.

"I don't know what you mean," said Hermione, picking up her Sunday Prophet and brandishing it open. She disappeared behind it.

Meanwhile, Harry said, "I thought we could at least work on the spell for the Patronus Charm today. What to have a go at it after breakfast?"

He looked to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, who all nodded enthusiastically.

So, half an hour later found the two trios in the Room of Requirement, which had changed into the usual D.A. meeting room for their use.

"Alright, so," began Harry, donning his 'teacher' voice out of habit. "The spell itself is pretty easy. It's just 'expecto patronum.' The only hard part about this spell is finding a happy enough memory. It's got to be powerful, meaningful, and the closer to your heart the better. And you've got to let that happiness fill you, even in the face of dementors. So, why don't you guys take a minute and come up with your memories; when you've got it, think really hard about it and say the incantation."

The trio nodded, but Harry frowned at their uncertain expressions.

"What?" he asked, beginning to feel uncertain himself. Had he said something wrong?

Sakura and Naruto blinked up at him then beamed. "Nothing, Harry-kun!" they chirped, though their eyes were anything but cheerful.

At length, they relaxed and seemed to concentrate on their memories.

Sasuke, however, continued frowning. Did any of them have happy memories that hadn't been tainted by some sadness or betrayal? He was suddenly finding all of his own… impure.

Naruto found his first. He cackled and lifted his wand. "Expecto patronum!"

Nothing.

Sasuke's smirk must have been audible, because Naruto turned and yelled, "Shut up, bastard! It's your fault that memory wasn't happy enough! You were in it!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Idiot. You're angry when I'm not there, too."

"DON'T USE YOUR STUPID LOGIC ON ME, ASSHOLE!"

Sasuke didn't respond. He 'hn'ed and returned to finding his own happy memory, and Naruto eventually calmed down and returned to his.

Okay, what about when Father told me he was proud of me? No… then he told me not to follow in Itachi's steps… and technically I'll be killing our clan, too. What about some of the times Naruto did something hilarious and stupid? No… all I can think about is how I nearly killed him after that…. And now he's never really happy any more. No one is….

After a few seconds of silence, Sakura raised her wand and said clearly, "Expecto patronum."

A stream of silver shot out, but it was shapeless.

"That's good!" said Harry bracingly. "And on your first try, too! You probably found a happy memory; now just try and make it more powerful."

She nodded, looking pleased, and started concentrating again.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned to Sasuke.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and treated them to his favorite Unimpressed Look. "What?"

"You're the only one who hasn't tried it, genius!" accused Ron, probably more affected by the Look than he should have been.

Sasuke gave a fractional shrug, appearing unconcerned. Was it really his fault his life sucked? Naruto couldn't think of anything good, either. And it really is your fault…

Shut up!

Suddenly, Naruto let out a gloriously delighted laugh. Without a word of explanation he pointed his wand at the ceiling and laughed, "Expecto patronum!"

At first, Sasuke thought it was the same shapeless stream as Sakura's. Then he realized that it wasn't streaming – it was flying. It was a hawk.

For reasons he couldn't explain, Sasuke's heart ached. And then he understood. When he realized what a snake pit he had been living in, Sasuke's only thought had been the air. He had wanted more than anything to fly. Fly, faster than the memories holding him to the ground, with sight that could see miles and miles below, farther than any Sharingan. He had wanted to be above it all, all the pain and anger and rage and hatred and just soar above it all. He had wanted to leave the snakes for the hawks.

But Naruto was the flier. On broomsticks and in spirit, apparently. And he was Sasuke's opposite, his rival. So I'll never be able to… fly…?

Naruto was grinning in Sasuke's peripheral vision, happily accepting Sakura, Harry, Ron, and Hermione's enthusiastic praise, and Sasuke tried not to let it get to him. But here it was, Naruto beating him again. Naruto, who found love and happiness in the unlikeliest places, who found friendship and bonds everywhere he turned, who could fly… always beat Sasuke, who was stuck on the ground with nothing but snakes and the blood of his family.

And then Naruto cocked his head over to Sasuke. He glanced up at the hawk, which still soared as if the air was its very own essence, and then back at Sasuke. His expression was the serious one Sasuke saw whenever he was making heartfelt speeches in the midst of battle. But Naruto simply stated, "You know, it kind of reminds me of you."

Sasuke was pretty sure someone had a heart attack.

Oh, was that himself? Okay, that made sense.

While Harry, Ron, and Hermione started varying versions of, "What? How do you work that one out? You must be crazy!" Sasuke only met Naruto's eyes, his question obvious.

Naruto's vibrant blue eyes were warm, teasing, and had that same serious conviction that could convince an assassin swordsman of the Mist to cry.

Sasuke bowed his head fractionally in understanding and gratitude. Naruto smiled just as wordlessly.

Sometimes, Sasuke supposed, a shinobi could speak without words and even without fighting.

"EVERYBODY, FREEZE!" Sakura yelled so loudly, even Naruto cringed.

She was glaring at Naruto and Sasuke. "You two don't say a word and screw this up! I'm using that as my happy memory!"

They stared.

She ignored them. Her expression was radiant, thinking of the only time she'd ever seen her two friends act like real brothers without speaking and screwing it up. "Expecto patronum!"

The stream of incandescent silver flowed like a waterfall from the tip of her wand. Except… it also went upwards.

Another hawk, smaller and more graceful than Naruto's joined the first. They flew together for a few loops, then separated in a beautiful show of flying skill.

"That's… kind of odd," said Harry after a second of silence. "Are hawks… very significant in your culture?"

Sasuke redoubled his guard walls as Naruto and Sakura both shot only vaguely conspicuous glances his way.

"Only one," said Sakura.

Sasuke didn't look at her. "Hmph."

"Are these supposed to be animals that represent something important to us?" Sakura queried, her academic interest shining through.

"Sometimes," confirmed Harry. "Like, mine is a stag, and my father could transform into a stag when he was alive. Since Patroni are supposed to protect us, sometimes they're animals who represent someone that would protect us or just someone we love a lot."

Not blushing. Never. This is stupid. We should be working on finding out what Akatsuki's up to, not learning some stupid spell we'll never use anyway…

"How about you try it, Sasuke?" suggested Harry. "Have you got a good memory, yet?"

Damn. "Not quite."

Harry and Hermione's expression flickered into something resembling pity. Sasuke tried not to pull out one of the kunai hidden in his robes.

Shinobi rule number three: Never kill your clients.

Shinobi rule number three… shinobi rule number three… shinobi rule number three…

"You can use mine!" Naruto pumped his fist in the air.

Sasuke tried not to sigh at the stupidity. "Naruto, I don't think it works that way."

"This one does!" Naruto insisted. "You actually laughed out loud in it!"

"…I doubt I've laughed aloud since I met you. And that's probably no coincidence."

"Bastard," growled Naruto, but his glare was ruined when he returned to grinning. "Hey, hey, hey – remember what the three of us did a few months ago? Like, two weeks before we started going here? Remember, remember?"

"We did a lot of things two weeks before we started here," said Sasuke shortly.

"With Tsunade… and the monument… and then the ANBU…."

Sasuke couldn't help it. He chuckled, remembering.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione had heart attacks. Sakura sighed long-sufferingly.

Naruto immediately launched into the story, but Sasuke tuned him out. He closed his eyes and focused on the memory.

It had been the week following Gaara's kidnapping, and Naruto had been depressed about being a hunted jinchuuriki. Sasuke, still not used to the slightly-mature, capable of depression Naruto, had had enough. He recalled the prankster twelve year old and made his decision. He called a team meeting (minus Kakashi, even though Sasuke had the feeling Kakashi had found out and eavesdropped, anyway) and explained their new "mission." Because Sasuke never pulled pranks. And this would require jounin level skills, anyway, if not ANBU.

Naruto had been jubilant, and Sakura had caved once she saw how happy it made Naruto.

At four in the morning, the three had snuck past the chuunin and ANBU guards at the Hokage Tower, employing the absolute best stealth skills any of them had yet displayed. They made it to Tsunade's personal chambers and had stolen… well, a few personal items right from under the Hokage's sleeping little nose. They pulled out of the tower with the same miraculous stealth, and if Kakashi was watching as Sasuke suspected, he would have been damn proud of his cute little genins… and chuunin. He was sure no enemy shinobi had ever managed to do that.

When dawn lit Konoha, the citizens woke up to find each Hokage face on the mountain supporting an enormous bra beneath his regal chin. Sasuke might have even ventured to point out the bras were so big, they almost looked natural under the stories-tall faces.

The ANBU had only caught up with the perpetrators when the alluded were laughing too hard to continue running.

Sasuke's ears were still ringing from that particular scream-fest from his dear Hokage. He might have listened a little more if Kakashi had quit giggling at the pictures he had taken of the "new and improved monument," which he had cleverly tucked into the pages of his Icha Icha novels.

Still smirking at the memory, Sasuke raised his arm. "Expecto patronum."

Silver flew from the tip of his wand… and landed on the ground.

His Patronus wasn't a hawk.

His Patronus was a weasel.

Naruto, Harry, and Ron stopped laughing over the bra story. Sakura breathed, "Oh, my."

Sasuke stared. The weasel stood on its hind legs and stared back. It cocked its head to the side, considering Sasuke much too intelligently for an animal.

Sasuke closed his eyes.

He let his wand clatter to the floor.

"That's it," he muttered, turning to the door. "I quit."

"What's wrong with weasels?" demanded Ron as Sasuke's hand grabbed the doorknob and twisted.

Sasuke heard Sakura's whispered answer even as he opened the door and slammed it behind him. "Itachi… is Japanese for 'weasel.'"

…

Harry watched Sasuke sweep from the room with more than a little bafflement. So… his Patronus would have him believe Itachi was protecting him? Even Harry admitted that that was a sick trick to play on somebody.

He sighed, only distantly listening to Sakura and Hermione converse in whispers, and bent down to pick up Sasuke's wand. He'd probably want it back when he calmed down.

He'd never really taken note of Sasuke's wand before, but now that he did… he seriously doubted it came from Ollivander's. It was pitch black with areas of inconspicuous, razor-sharp thorns, which only protruded millimeters but promised a good cut to anyone oblivious.

Frowning, he took the handle – the only safe place – and gasped as his scar exploded in pain.

He barely registered Ron, Hermione, Sakura, and Naruto stop their discussion to ask him what was wrong; he only registered that the wand fell from his fingers, and the pain correspondingly stopped.

He opened his eyes to find himself on the ground, crouched over, hands clinging to his face.

"Harry!" repeated Hermione, suddenly only inches from his face. He felt her hand on his shoulder. "Harry, what is it?"

Harry took a moment to breathe and collect himself. He eyed the wand, which lay innocently several feet away. "That wand," he panted after a few seconds. "Where the hell did he get that?"

His question was directed to Sakura and Naruto, who hovered nearby anxiously. They stared at him, taken aback by the question.

Sakura looked from the fallen wand to Harry's strained face. "I don't really know. Why? What's wrong with it?"

"My scar only hurts when Voldemort is near, or when he's concentrating on something," said Harry, trying to keep the pained shake out of his voice. "That wand made my scar practically explode. What does it have to do with Voldemort?"

Sakura and Naruto blinked at him again.

"Ano, Harry-kun, are you sure it wasn't just-" began Sakura, but he cut her off with,

"I'm sure! It stopped as soon as I dropped that wand! Now, what does Sasuke have to do with Voldemort?" His voice had risen to a shout, and Hermione backed off in shock.

He ground his teeth together, trying to collect himself. He didn't need a repeat of last year, when he had been so angry he had nearly destroyed their friendship.

"Look," he said at length. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to accuse you guys. But if you know something about Voldemort – anything – then I need to know. I'm the one that's got to fight him in the end. I've got to have all the information and help I can get, or else, I'm dead and Voldemort wins. That's how it is."

He was sure he didn't imagine Naruto and Sakura's guilty looks. But they were silent.

He sighed and shook his head. "Fine. Whatever. Keep your secrets. But somebody else get Sasuke's wand because I can't fucking touch it." It came out more aggressively than he originally intended, but he kind of liked the effect. Naruto and Sakura winced and shared a pained, uncertain glance.

Ron gave Harry a hand up. He, Harry, and Hermione walked out the door, leaving Naruto and Sakura to flounder in their indecision.

It had started off as such a good day, Sakura noted as the door snapped shut. How had it suddenly gone so wrong?

She bent down and picked up Sasuke's wand, feeling a slight thrum of chakra – dark, sinister chakra – tingle his fingertips. "Naruto… where did Sasuke get this wand?"

Naruto shrugged, still watching the door with a troubled expression. She knew strained friendships always hurt him the most.

She sighed and muttered, "Come on. We can't leave Harry alone for too long."

Naruto nodded distractedly. Suddenly, Sakura wondered if Naruto had been worrying about their friendship with Harry, Ron, and Hermione at all. After all, Sasuke had disappeared through that same door, too.

XXxxXXxxXXxxXXxxXX

The following weeks were tough. Harry and Sasuke had taken to ignoring each other, though they usually stayed in close proximity because of Naruto and Sakura's refusal to give up the friendship/mission. Harry's expression darkened every time he saw the black wand in class or otherwise, though, and conversations tended to fall flat for the next half hour. Sasuke didn't care. He had taken to brooding over Itachi and tended to snap everyone's heads off for the smallest of interruptions.

Naruto, who tried to continue to be his usual cheerful self to both parties, took most of the heat. Not that he took it lying down, of course. His and Sasuke's shouting matches were quickly becoming legendary. After all, Naruto and Sasuke had been honing their insulting abilities for years and had developed immunities to anything not outrageously graphic. It wasn't uncommon for spectators to rush off in tears over some of the more vicious insults, and a few first years even threw up or fainted over the most graphic ones.

Sakura just thanked God they had the restraint to not use ninjutsu on each other in front of the students. And they didn't even reveal vital information. They just insulted each other to the absolute epitome of their abilities and then stomped away in rage.

It was after one of these matches that Naruto agreed to go to the library with Harry. It was late in the evening, and Hermione had tailed Sakura to volunteer in the hospital wing. Sasuke had stormed out of the tower, probably to go train in the forest, like he always did.

"Why are you guys even friends?" demanded Harry in frustration as they walked through the corridors. This most recent roasting had consisted of certain family members and ancestors popping like fried slugs in their own boiling excrements, thoroughly grossing out ninety-five percent of Gryffindor tower – and probably Ravenclaw tower just a little distance away, too.

Naruto shrugged, already chipper again. "Insulting is fun," he chirped. "Anyone else would just ignore me if I insulted them, though, or try and beat me up and leave. But Sasuke takes the time and energy to insult me back. Awesome, right?"

Harry just sighed. "You're off your rocker."

"That was weak," Naruto informed him somberly. "You need to add in something about my mother and some sort of rotting flesh or maggots."

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. "That's disgusting."

"And effective," Naruto agreed brightly.

Harry laughed.

They came to a section of flights of stairs and waited for one to approach them. Naruto distantly noted that he'd never seen this part of the castle so deserted. A flight of stairs slid in front of them and they boarded, waiting for it to take them across the open space to the other side of the fourth floor.

And that's when Naruto noticed Sasuke walking on the first floor, starting to bypass the hall of stairs. He frowned. Sasuke was still wearing his dark winter cloak, but if he'd been out in the forest training, why would he be back inside so soon? Surely he hadn't destroyed all of the trees yet?

"Oi, bastard!" he called. "What are you doing back so-"

'Sasuke' turned around.

Naruto's reflexes took over. He shoved Harry behind him and leapt onto the banister of the stairs, kunai in hand and crouched in a defensive position. "You! What the hell are you doing here, you murderous fuck? And where's you're little boyfriend hiding? Trying to ambush us?"

"Naruto, what-?" began Harry, trying to see around the blond. His eyes widened. "That can't be!"

Itachi's slender eyebrow arched, but his expression remained miraculously indifferent. Sasuke would have been jealous. "Infamous here, too, I see," he murmured, his deep voice carrying across the distance effortlessly. Before Naruto could make some angry comeback, he continued, "You may put down your kunai, Uzumaki Naruto. I am not here to hurt anyone."

"Or kidnap anyone?" grumbled Naruto, not letting down his guard a fraction.

"Or kidnap anyone," the murderer agreed inflexionlessly.

Harry decided he missed something, because one second Itachi Uchiha was standing three floors below them, and the next, a cloud of ravens appeared out of nowhere and there stood Itachi Uchiha right beside Harry, looking just as impassive as before.

Naruto leapt back from the banister to land between Itachi and his charge, shoving Harry behind him again.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?" demanded Harry, pushing Naruto so that they were facing Itachi side-by-side. "You don't have to protect me! I've survived Voldemort, remember?"

Harry remembered too late what Sasuke had said about Itachi and Voldemort's leagues. He felt his heart freeze in shock, but surprisingly, Itachi didn't particularly react.

His eyes roamed over the portraits on this floor with little interest as he said, "Please don't compare me to Voldemort. He's such an annoyance."

Harry stared. Finally Itachi looked back at him, and Harry had a split second to analyze his features for the first time.

His first thought was incredulity: Itachi couldn't be older than Percy Weasley, twenty or twenty-one, tops. And he had slaughtered his family eight or nine years ago? Bloody fucking hell.

His second thought was that Sasuke's eyes were a little bigger, a little darker, but Itachi's lashes were longer, making his eyes seem almost feminine. Itachi was a few inches taller than his brother, but not quite as tall as Ron, and his black hair hung long and tame compared to Sasuke's wild locks. Besides that, though, the brothers had the same nose… same lips and chin… same slender eyebrows and pale skin. Same poise that suggested centuries of noble breeding. Same condescending, indifferent gaze. Harry understood how Naruto had mistaken them not once, but twice now.

And then Naruto shouted, "Harry, don't look into his eyes! Sharingan, you idiot!"

Harry snapped his eyes shut, but he felt like an idiot for both looking in the first place and closing his eyes like a little kid facing a monster he didn't believe was real.

"I will not use my Sharingan on you unless you force me," said Itachi calmly. "I only want to talk with you."

"What could you possibly have to say, you bastard?" snarled Naruto, and Harry wondered if he could open his eyes yet. He did and found that Naruto hadn't closed his eyes at all. He stopped the flush he could feel coming. He must have looked like an idiot.

Still, he avoided looking at Itachi's face again.

"You recognize the power of the Sharingan," began Itachi, watching Naruto, "and you're still prepared to fight me? Surely you know only another Sharingan would have a chance against me."

"What's your point, bastard?" snarled Naruto.

Itachi continued watching him for another second. Then he said, "You aren't running to Sasuke. Is it because you're afraid he'll leave again if he finds out where I am?"

"Like I'd tell you something like that, you murderer!"

Again, Itachi took a moment watching Naruto before speaking. After those seconds, he said, "I need to know, Uzumaki-kun, why my brother returned. It may mean the survival of Konoha."

Naruto scowled, and Harry wondered what the hell they were talking about. "And I told you I'm not telling you anything!"

"Uzumaki-kun, did he come back for power, perhaps training from Kakashi-san, or… something else?"

Naruto continued scowling. At Itachi's unrelenting gaze, however, he growled, "He doesn't need any more power to kill you. He's already strong enough after Orochimaru-bastard."

Itachi watched Naruto silently for several seconds. Harry noticed that Naruto didn't quite meet his eyes, although it was so close he wouldn't have noticed if he were standing any farther away.

Breaking the silence, Itachi asked in a slower, more weighted voiced, "You would die for my brother. Would he give up his revenge… to return the favor?"

Naruto, though still glaring, faltered. "…What?"

Itachi glanced at Naruto's hand, where Dumbledore's translation smiley face grinned back. "English is easiest for you while that spell is in effect, correct?"

"Yeah…. What's you're point?"

Itachi, Harry thought, might have sighed. Indeed, if he were Sasuke, he would probably be pinching the bridge of his nose right now.

"He means: Would Sasuke give up killing Itachi if it meant saving your life?" Harry said, used to Naruto's occasional simplified wording needs. He paused in mortification when he realized he had just helped Itachi Uchiha. This was just surreal.

"I KNOW WHAT HE MEANT!" Naruto snapped, though it wasn't convincing. Then his face tightened as he thought about it. At length, he grumbled, "It doesn't matter. He won't need to save me. You should be worrying about yourself, you bastard! You're crazier than they say if you think he'll lose to you again!"

Itachi's unyielding expression didn't change. His eyes drifted behind them as he murmured, "Perhaps."

Perhaps? No arrogant comeback or… anything? It wasn't how Harry had pictured the infamous Itachi Uchiha. And judging from Naruto's expression… that wasn't what he had expected, either.

"There is a member of Akatsuki you must keep away from Sasuke at all costs," continued Itachi as if he'd never slipped in his image. "He wears an orange mask. If you value Konoha, or Sasuke, at all, you will make sure they never have the chance to speak. Do you understand, Uzumaki-kun?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "What do you care about either of them? You're a traitor to both!"

Itachi's eyes met Naruto's directly, intently. And then he lifted a hand in a fixed gesture to his chest.

Naruto seemed torn between anger and something Harry didn't recognize. When the ravens reappeared surrounding Itachi, the unfamiliar side won.

"Wait!" Naruto called, stepped forward into the battering wings. Itachi, half vanished in the black flock, turned scarlet eyes to him, hand still fixed in that gesture. "You and Kisame haven't told Akatsuki I'm here – you were crying that night you killed your clan – and Sasuke's Patronus is a weasel. What the hell is going on? What are you up to?"

Maybe it was the confusion of the swarming birds, but for a split second, Harry thought he saw a faint smile on Itachi's lips. But then it was gone, and Itachi murmured, "Make no mistake, Naruto-kun. I hated my family. But it is not yet time for that truth. I will see you again."

When the birds scattered through the many windows, Itachi was gone, and Naruto stood frowning, dagger held limply by his side.

Harry let the shock engulf them in silence for only a few moments. And then he demanded, "What the bloody hell is going on? What was that about? And what is that?" he pointed at the dagger.

Naruto continued staring at the spot Itachi had disappeared, frowning. He said quietly, "Harry…" he turned to Harry, who saw the bright blue eyes blazing with steady determination. "Don't tell Sasuke."

A/N: This is starting to get fun. =D Anyways, thank you all my great reviewers! You guys totally rock; I'm really ecstatic about the response this story is getting. Thank you so much! And remember how I said I might change the summary? I'm thinking about changing the title, too. "Tangled Webs" was a last resort; trust me, I hate clichés. But I'll definitely let you know what it'll be before I choose it. And I definitely won't change the summary and title at the same time. .

Anyways, please review!