A/N: Sorry I'm late updating, I've been really busy, but that's no excuse for taking so long, so I'll try to get the next chapter to you before next weekend (expect picnics and the Evil League of Evil to be involved). I wrote this hastily and with no filter, so please forgive me for any writing errors and my lame silly-ness leaking through... even more than usual. XD
Winter woke up alone, again.
It had been three days since Steve and he had kissed. They'd woken up, held hands for a bit, ate breakfast together… But then Steve began to lose his confidence. He'd get nervous, stutter, and eventually had begun to avoid Winter. It hadn't even taken a full day, and his heart was breaking.
He didn't want to get out of bed.
What other excuses would he hear today? How "busy" would Steve be?
I told you not to get your hopes up.
I told YOU not to be so affectionate.
The memory of how cuddly and open he'd been about his love for Steve that first morning flashed before his eyes... Bucky drew his pillow over his face, hiding his blush of shame and embarrassment from the world and trying to suffocate the memories.
Why did he have to screw this up?
He sighed, releasing the pillow and moving to get out of bed, only to fall, tangled in the sheets. He growled in annoyance and lay there.
Oh floor, you understand me… Always there to support me when I fall. Either warm or cool when I need it. Fuzzy when I need a hug, hard when I need a pat on the back…
You're so goddamned weird, Barnes.
Come on, you know that we have something special with the floor.
Rolling his eyes, Winter disentangled himself from his sheets and stood up, sulking his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth and shower. He threw on his "sad-day" pjs, as Nat had come to call them: A pair of grey sweats that hung low on his hips, with an overly large Black Sabbath t-shirt he'd stolen from Thor that hung all the way down his thighs. Thor had let him take it since it was too big even for him. No one was really quite sure where Tony had gotten the size of T-shirt needed to dwarf the Thunder God, but Winter was sure he'd special ordered it that way on purpose.
He took a deep breath, ready to walk into the empty level of the Avenger's tower dedicated to him and Steve, when he scented...flowers?
Confused, he opened the door, wondering if Clint had written the wrong level designation for a 'spider gift' again. Last time that happened, Bruce came to Clint with a rejection of love when the scientist had walked in to see his lab covered in rose petals and chocolate boxes. Clint had been entirely confused until he realized what had occurred, consequently having to awkwardly explain to Natasha that her Valentine's day gift was two floors up and already half eaten.
He rubbed his eye sleepily as he found a small but strong smelling floral arrangement resting on the table in the living room. It was really quite beautiful… he started to wonder if Clint had actually gained some taste until he read the note, in Steve's sharp handwriting:
"I know I've been busy lately, but I promise to make it up to you today. ~ Love, Steve."
How swe-
Shut up. Winter sighed sadly letting the note drop and moving the flowers into his room, his heart heavy, I bet it was one of the other Avengers.
Why would they do that?
Why would Steve ignore me for three whole days and suddenly leave me a pot of flowers?
He's never dated anyone before, dumbass.
Pausing as he adjusted the flowers on his nightstand, Winter's eyes widened as he remembered this little fact. The closest Steve had ever gotten to dating anyone was that Carter woman. He frowned as he sat down on the bed, pulling the small note from the flowers with him. He toyed with the pinkish ribbon that had held the card, thinking this over.
So… you were too forward?
Maybe…
We're so fucking stupid…
Winter lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, running the serrated edges of the ribbon between his fingers.
Wonder what he has in mind for today?
Probably just read to us again.
Winter smiled, comforted as Barnes agreed with him. That would be nice.
Maybe he'll let us hold him…
What if he kisses us again?
Don't get too hopeful… But I really hope he does!
Winter laughed at their train of thought, realizing how stupid they sounded.
I sound like a heartsick dame…
Well, that's basically what we are right now.
Well shit. I bet Hydra's proud.
He grinned and shook his head, throwing his left arm over his eyes, trying to hold back his chuckle. He really couldn't believe he was acting like this, even over Steve, even when he'd done this a hundred times before with little things.
James lay back on his cot, playing with his dog tags carelessly, more focused on the daydream playing out just beyond the wooden ceiling above him. He was imagining returning home to Steve. He would leave this godforsaken war ground and go back to that dingy apartment where he would see that little blonde guy running about cooking their dinner. Would he make something special? Would he...would he run up and hug him? Would he let him hold him close to his heart a little longer than usual?
"Barnes!" He jolted and looked over to his side, seeing his commanding officer glaring down at him, "Get your mind off of your gal back home and drag it outside right now, we have orders! Move it!"
Blushing profusely, James shouted, "Yessir!"
We're fools.
It's undeniable.
Sighing, Winter got up again, setting the note on his table and stepping back outside his room. He went to the kitchen and opened up the fridge, shocked to see that everything was gone except a plate with kiesh on it. It had another handwritten note, this time with a red ribbon. "Made this for you, hope you like it! ~Steve"
Winter chuckled again as he pulled the plate out, kicking the door closed behind him.
He's so gay.
Thankfully he's gay for us.
He gently nibbled on the small offerings of food as he moved to the couch, sitting down to find that the remote had a little note attached to it via a blue ribbon. "Watch the news. ~Steve"
What does he have planned…?
Turning on the TV, Winter found that the channel was already on the news, so he tucked his legs beneath him and watched. The weather was going to be nice and sunny… He waited for something significant when the screen switched to the anchors. A woman smiled, "This just in, the Stark Botanical Gardens will still be closed today, even though it promised to open yesterday. As we've heard, there's a new segment of the building they're adding on that will actually simulate winter so as to provide a natural habitat for certain types of flora... There's going to be real snow and everything!" She laughed as if delighted by the idea.
Winter shut off the TV and smiled, shaking his head. If that's what Steve wanted him to see… He moved to the closet and looked inside, where there was a new coat. Over the shoulders of the leather jacket hung an overly patriotic scarf that made Winter grin. Attached to the hanger was a small note with white ribbon, "Dress warmly for tonight! ~Steve"
Sighing, Winter went back into his room and changed into his combat clothes, since they were the only ones he'd ever worn outside before. When he left his room he ran into Steve, who'd been waiting outside the door, smiling. Winter blushed and moved back, afraid to be in too much contact with Steve, when he was pulled back towards him into a suffocating embrace. He reciprocated the hug and nuzzled Steve's chest, "Missed you…"
"I missed you too, Buck…" A kiss on the forehead surprised him and he looked up into Steve's eyes. "Are you ready?" He frowned down at Bucky's combat clothes.
He nodded shyly, a little worried now that he realized he wasn't exactly dressed for a date. Steve took it in stride though and offered his arm, "Shall we?"
"Um, sure! But, don't I need my coat and everything?"
"Of course!" Steve flushed, realizing his mistake, "Urm...do you still want me to escort you there?"
When he met Winter's eyes again, both began laughing hysterically at how awkward they were. Winter reached out and grabbed Steve's shoulder, between laughs saying, "I wish I'd given you more than dance lessons, Stevie! Christ, you're far too tense."
"Hey! Says you!" Steve gave him a friendly punch to the chest.
"Hush, I'm obviously the one being courted. It's socially acceptable for me to act all nervous and shy. Don't you know that?"
"W-well...You're James Buchanan Barnes! You should know almost everything about dating!"
"Well, James is a little in shock now that his wingman is acting like this, so I don't really have his advice at the moment."
Steve laughed and buried his face in his hands, "God, Buck, I don't know…" He leaned against the wall and sighed, peaking through his fingers at Winter, "Just... can I just take you on a date?"
"Were you not going to take me on a date…? I thought that was the whole point of all this."
"Of course it was, I just mean…" He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to think out his next words, "I like how we usually are. Can't I just take you on a date and we act like usual?"
Winter cocked his head to the side, miming being deep in thought, before shaking his head, "Sadly no. James says if you're going to take us on a date you have to do it properly. So, Steve Rogers," He was unable to stop from grinning as he offered his hand to his friend, "Are you gonna treat me like a lady or not?"
Steve smiled and to Winter's surprise, gracefully bowed his head and took Winter's hand in his, kissing the back of it gingerly before raising his eyes. "I guess I have no choice."
In a motion so quick Winter couldn't process it until it was finished, Steve swung him up into his arms and began carrying him to closet. "S-Steve!"
"You asked to be treated like a lady, and why should a lady have to tire herself out walking before our date starts?"
Winter sighed, "Well, aren't you the smooth one, Rogers?"
"I did learn from the best."
"I never taught you this." Winter nuzzled Steve's chest over his heart.
"Well, then I guess I'm just a natural." Winter snorted as he was gently set down and Steve opened the closet door, removing the jacket carefully and holding the scarf as he helped Winter put the coat on. After Steve zipped up the front for him, he carefully wrapped the scarf around Winter so that it would cover his mouth and nose as well. He softly brushed Winter's hair from below the scarf and kissed his forehead, "All bundled up?"
Winter nodded, glad that the scarf would hide the ridiculous blush he was sporting. He was still having issues feeling comfortable without his protective mask, so he was also grateful that when they stepped outside the tower a few minutes later he had the scarf to replace the sensation of facial armor. Steve took his hand and guided him to their car.
The drive to the gardens took them almost all the way across the city, and was filled with silence punctuated only when Steve pointed out somewhere he would eventually like to go with Winter. The extended periods of quiet weren't so bothersome though, because he was holding Steve's hand. It was his left hand, so he couldn't feel Steve's warmth, but it didn't matter. It was the fact that they were connected in this moment which made him happy.
When they arrived, Winter was stunned by the beauty of the gardens, even from the outside. The building was tastefully surrounded and enveloped in ivorys and climbing flowers. Inside, there was only the feel of nature, despite the locale being a busy city. The sounds outside were instantly cut off as the doors closed behind them and a deep, earthy scent infused their air.
Steve slid his hand over to Winter's and guided him quietly through some of the rooms, letting him enjoy the gardens before leading him to a darkened hallway. Walking through here, the air became colder so that Winter buried his nose further in his scarf. The door they came to was freezing cold to the touch and inside…
Winter widened his eyes and stepped through the door, holding his hands out to touch the falling white flakes. It really did snow here… "How?"
"I asked Tony, but it was all Greek to me…"
"I know how to speak the-"
"I meant I didn't understand it." A nip on the tip of his ear startled Winter and he shyly ducked his head from Steve, who just drew him close, "I asked him if he could possibly make a place like this for you. I know you said that you missed the cold sometimes, and I didn't want you to wait all summer. This room has a couple of trees and bushes that flower only during the winter, and some snowdrops… I know how much you used to like those when we were younger."
Winter walked in further, a little dazed, looking around. The room had a large circular center area that held a tree, surrounded by some snowdrops. A path surrounded it and on the outskirts of the room were bushes and lichen, giving the sense of the Tiapa he had grown used to over the past few decades. He walked through the couple inches of snow that had collected and wandered about the path. Steve stayed back, letting Bucky explore by himself.
Winter crouched by a snowdrop that hung over into the pathway, gently pushing it back into it's designated area. He stayed in that position for a while, going completely still. Steve could imagine him in the Russian wastelands, hunting. It made his stomach churn until he saw Winter smiling softly, as he drew his fingers through the snow, as if seeing an old friend. They weren't even gloved.
It was then that Steve approached Bucky, kneeling beside him to take his hands, muttering, "I forgot gloves…"
"I only need one…" Winter shrugged.
"So we're one short." He kissed Winter's hand and drew it to his chest, "Do you like it here, though?"
"I love it, Steve… Can we come here often…?"
"Of course…" Steve lifted Winter's scarf from over his mouth, accidentally covering his eyes, and kissed him gently.
Winter chuckled as they broke apart to breathe, the scarf falling back into place, "You're ridiculously cute sometimes, you know that, Stevie?"
Steve blushed, looking down, "Shut up…"
Winter grinned, nuzzling Steve's neck through the scarf, tickling him and making the supersoldier giggle, "See? Adorable!"
The two laughed a bit before getting up to walk around in the circular pathway, snuggling as close as possible to each other. After a while, they decided to build a giant snowman in the middle of the path, etching a small arc-reactor into the middle section and making the top into the general shape of the Iron Man mask. A little present to Tony.
As they worked, Winter began to realize that Steve hadn't told him if Tony had asked for anything in return...which he always did. As they stepped back to admire the finished Frost-iron man, and Steve rested his head on Winter's shoulder, he knew he had to ask.
"What did you do in return for this room?"
"...I had to take his patrol shift as well as my own the past couple days so that he could spend some more time with Pepper."
"That's why you've been gone?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Buck…"
Winter kissed Steve's head through his scarf, "Don't be. This is the best gift you could have given me."
Steve mumbled incoherently in that humble way of his, embarrassed at the praise. Winter pulled his scarf down to his neck and tilted Steve's head up so he could kiss him. When they moved apart, Steve asked, "So...did I do well for my first time?"
"First time?" Winter blinked, "You never planned a date before and this...this is your first time?"
"Y-yeah… Why, is something wrong?" Steve shifted nervously.
"No, you punk." He drew Steve close, kissing him again, "This is just a better date than any I've ever planned."
"What about that one ti-"
"No. Nothing. This is the best."
They just smiled at each other for a bit before Steve startled and put the scarf back over Bucky's nose, "Y-Your nose was getting all red…"
Winter laughed, "I think I can handle it, Stevie. And where's your scarf, anyway?"
"I don't need one," He grinned, "Serum, remember?"
Winter rolled his eyes, "That's right, that's right… So, superman, can we go back home?"
Steve perked up at the term 'home,' nodding emphatically, "Of course!"
Just as they were about to leave there was a knock on the door to the room and they looked as Nat peaked in, "Hi, can I just get a quick pic of you two…?"
Feeling particularly playful today, Winter snuggled lovingly into Steve's side, making himself seem smaller, and gave Nat the biggest smile he could, knowing she could only see his cheekbones. Steve held him tightly as Nat held up her phone and snapped a few pictures, having to retake some because the mittens she was wearing got in the way.
As they walked out afterwards, Winter asked her why she was wearing mittens instead of gloves.
"Clint bought them for me...so...you know." She shrugged, "I have to wear them."
The two men laughed and Winter looked to Steve, "If you buy me anything that looks that ridiculous, I'm never going to wear it."
Nat bristled, "What about that stupid scarf?"
Winter stopped, pulling the scarf down off his nose stretching it in front of his face to peer at it, "What's stupid about it? I love it."
"...Really? It's tacky." Nat frowned at Winter's obvious confusion.
"Tacky?" Winter seemed hurt, "It's not tacky...It reminds me of Steve in his old suit."
"Steve's old suit is the definition of tacky."
"Then…" Winter furrowed his brow, legitimately confused, "Tacky has become synonymous with arousing?" Steve choked on air and Nat burst out laughing, making him even more confused. "What…?"
Steve punched Bucky's shoulder "B-Buck, don't say things like that."
"Oh, no, Cap." Nat said as she laughed, "I'm sure he just meant arousing the American Spirit."
"If the American Spirit is my penis than-"
"Bucky!"
"What? You have to admit, you looked sexy as hell in that suit... Though I have to say, the new one is more form fitting…" His eyes darkened as he looked Steve up and down, "Can you put it on when we get home…?"
"Whoa, there, Bucky Bear." Nat patted Winter's back, "You know the rules, you gotta wait until the third date, at least. We don't want Steve to get the impression that you're easy."
"Well, I'm easy for him."
Steve, meanwhile, was floundering in the background as the conversation developed, his face redder than a tomato.
Bucky took Steve's hand and as they made their way outside the two ex-spies began to integrate more patriot puns into their conversation about just what Bucky would like to do to Steve. The poor Captain finally dragged Bucky from Nat and pulled him into the car, only to sit there in embarrassed silence for a couple minutes. It had been a long time since he'd heard Bucky say such shocking things, and never in reference to him, but he knew that it was Bucky, not Winter who had been talking.
It was a conflicting feeling for Steve. Joy that another piece of Buck was back, horror that he had heard such...explicit things. Sung to the tune of the national anthem. About him.
Parts of him mostly.
He shook his head and started the car. It took about ten minutes of silence before Bucky turned to him and asked, "So...can you wear the suit when we get home…?"
Steve didn't say anything.
He didn't say anything when he got out of the car and helped Bucky out of his side. He didn't say anything when he practically dragged them into the elevator. He didn't say anything when he dragged him into his level. He didn't say anything when he sat Bucky down on the sofa and left. And he didn't say anything when he returned wearing his new suit.
Bucky grinned, finally saying what he had thought since the first time Steve had dragged him off that cold Hydra table into his arms, "Oh Captain, My Captain..."
Finally, Steve said something. "J-jeez, Buck… Don't look at me like- What are you doing with that scarf?"
"Adding some more...tacky color." Bucky draped the cloth over Steve's shoulders gently.
"...You mean that in your definition...don't you?"
"What do you think?" Bucky backed him into a wall.
"I'm thinking yes…"
"You would be correct, Captain… Now, let's see if I can't repay you for a wonderful date…"
"Now, I thought you said the best?" Steve chuckled nervously.
"You're right, I did. Guess I'll just have to work a bit harder."
"You know…" Steve lay in bed on his stomach, facing the foot of the bed, hiding his face in a pillow, "I thought the person who took someone else out on a date was the man in the relationship."
Bucky walked into their bedroom, grinning as he moved the 'tacky' scarf from in front of Steve so he could place a tray of food there instead. "You know, you weren't complaining too much last night."
"Bucky!"
"Yeah, you did a lot more of that."
"Did you treat your dames this way the morning after?"
"No. I only reserve this behavior for my special someone." He leaned down and kissed Steve's head, ruffling the golden halo of hair before he got up again. "Eat and relax, love. This is all I could find in the pantry… Clearing out the fridge yesterday was not the best idea."
"Sorry…"
"Don't be."
Bucky hit the button for Clint's level, during the wait expecting the normal inner conversation between him and Barnes.
He panicked for a moment, realizing that Barnes wasn't...there.
Where was…
He shook his head, trying to find Winter as well.
They were… there.
But they weren't speaking, they were blending together.
After having two separate consciences it felt strangely wholesome to know that they were intermingling easily. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to strike up a conversation within himself. There was an instantaneous relay of emotions from both Barnes and Winter.
Bucky shook himself one more time and walked into Clint's level, shooting covert glances around as he stole an armful of food from his fridge. On the way back down he came to terms with this new change. The melding of his two sides. They were still separate in some areas, but mostly they were one being.
Bucky.
He walked back in, setting the food up in the kitchen. As he did so, Steve shuffled in, easing onto a counter stool. He watched Bucky move around smoothly. There were no momentary pauses, no changes in expression denoting an inner conversation… After thirty minutes of uninterrupted silence Steve had to ask, "So… how's your old self…?"
Bucky moved to sit by Steve after setting a timer on the oven, a small smile playing on his lips. He laced his fingers through Steve's and kissed him gently before answering, "Starting to come back to me."
Steve looked sheepishly to the side and whispered, "You think last night helped at all with that?"
Bucky grinned, "I think so."
The elevator doors dinged as the two men leaned in closer to kiss each other. Bucky turned to meet Clint's glare from across the room. "Did you two steal my food?"
"No."
"Liar."
"How did you know?"
"Buck, you stole food?" Steve looked between the two.
"Yes! JARVIS told me so."
"Damn."
"Why did you take my food?!"
"Steve needed nourishment after last night."
"What happened last night?"
"Well-" Bucky felt Steve's hands wrap around his mouth.
"Nothing. We just didn't have any food in the fridge that's all."
Clint narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something before he pointed to Bucky's neck with a gasp, "Is that a hickey?!"
Bucky moved Steve's hand when his grip had faltered at Clint's revelation, "I know, right!? I didn't think he had it in him."
"Wait, so did you-"
"Yeah we-"
"WHY MUST YOU GUYS BE SO COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT FONDUE?!" Steve shouted, trying to hide his face in his hands.
"Damn, that's kinky, I didn't know we had fondue here."
"No, no, Steve just thinks that 'fondue' means sex."
"Wh- How did that happen?"
"Well you see-"
"THAT IS IT. CLINT. LEAVE. THAT'S AN ORDER."
"Whoa, hey, Cap, chill. Wait, why are you wearing your suit?"
"GET OUT."
"Okay, okay."
Bucky laughed hysterically as Clint retreated. He pulled Steve into his arms, "I love you, Steve."
"I love you too, Buck… Please don't tell people about the fondue thing."
"Then don't keep using the word as a euphemism for sex."
"It just pops out! I don't mean to!"
"I know, it's just one more thing I love about you…"