If y'all aren't getting replies lately, it's because I have a lot going on. I tried to catch up with reviews and PMs, but it's very difficult right now, because of the amount of reading and writing. Know that I still care about your words and I love you for the feedback even when I don't get around to responding.

Don't Make Me Over 10

Rachel sat in her car, with her head resting on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths. When she left her fathers' house, she had nowhere else to go but home… where she had Finn staying. He had been something else, lately. At first, she just wanted him to stop hurting. When she met him, she instantly felt chemistry between them and her heart convinced her that things could become great between them. But, the closer she got to him, the more she noticed how caught up on his ex he was. That woman, Mercedes would be a thorn in her side, as far as she was concerned and to be honest, she was relieved when they had their fight and Finn was forbidden to go anywhere near her. The entire situation was toxic, if you asked Rachel.

She hardly even cared that he had hit Mercedes, because she believed that he was drunk and that she had provoked him and he made a mistake. Rachel was even willing to take that horrific hit to the face from Mercedes' new boyfriend, if that meant that now Finn could be all hers and that she wouldn't have to compete with the ghost of his past, anymore. But, now she realized… it wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth this, she thought as she looked up into the rearview mirror at the black eye that she had snuck into her dads' home while they were out of town to steal some of their stage makeup to cover up… because she had already ran out of all that she had and her order would nto be in for a few days.

Sam didn't really care to go to Blaine and Kurt's for anything. When he thought about them, he basically thought about the people that interrupted and got in the way of him letting out all of his frustrations on Finn's smug ass face. But, Jonesy made it sound like it was a pretty big deal to her to get together with Kurt on this business thing and she didn't want to go alone, especially since Kurt invited both of them. Moral support… He would have to keep reminding himself that he was there for moral support.

Jonesy was in a weird mood, but Sam noticed that she was generally feeling some kind of way on the days that she had therapy sessions. He found out that she was going some roundabout way, but she never really said anything about it, aside from when he wanted to bring her to breakfast one day and she said, "I have therapy on Thursdays." Today, as touched up her makeup, after her shower and changed clothes, she seemed extremely tense. He didn't want to push, but he had to know, "Are you really alright with this?" Because, if being around those guys was going to do something emotional to her, he couldn't give a damn about the assignment or how Unique would feel about it, he was not going to let her do it to herself.

"Yeah. I'm just anxious. I keep wondering what if this is the night that I may run into Finn? I haven't had to see him, at all. I don't know where he's been and I don't care, but I don't want to have to see him. God, the way that I responded when I saw Dustin again…" She shook her head.

"Who is Dustin?" Sam wondered. She looked at him like she was shocked that he mentioned the name.

"Did I say something about that?" She wondered. He nodded and she let out a sigh. "Well, I didn't mean to, and I don't want to talk about it. I've done enough talking about stuff that I'd rather not talk about, today." They rode in silence, allowing the radio to play stuff that neither of them was listening to.

When they got to the address, Sam helped Jonesy out of his truck and she took his hand and squeezed it, walking with him to the entrance, still holding on. Sam took a deep breath and prepared himself for this night as she knocked on the door, with her free hand. Her small hand was shaking and he wanted like hell to pull her back to the truck and tell her it was for the best, but his knees were weak and he stomach turned just thinking about how hurt she would be if he didn't trust her to be able to hold up. Instead, he stroked her hand with his thumb and paused only when she turned to stare at him. He couldn't read her expression and he didn't know how to feel about it.

Blaine opened the door and welcomed the two of them inside. Their hands were still connected as Jonesy gave Blaine a greeting hug, then repeated one for Kurt, as he came to the door with a couple of glasses of wine. She finally let go of Sam's hand to accept hers, and Sam frowned as he did the same. For a brief moment, they were more connected than they had been in several weeks and he missed that feeling, already. Blaine shut the door and Kurt led their guests into his workroom. "Sam, if you and Blaine would like, you two can go have guy time in the living room, or whatever."

"No, thank you. I'm sticking around Jonesy," Sam said and lifted his glass to her, then took a drink.

Kurt offered, "Dinner should be ready shortly, then."

Jonesy handed the book to Kurt and said, "I am not going to lie to you, I haven't started on any of my ideas yet, but I know that I have several."

"No problem, Honey. There are so many possibilities, if I were you; I probably wouldn't even know where to start."

"No… You don't know where to start. But, if you were me, you'd be me, then you would know where to start – because I do, in fact. Unique likes animal prints. This has been proven by make up that I have designed for her, already. She likes the fierceness, but she likes the delicate stuff, too. When I think of her, I think of fire and ice, raging towards each other. So, when I design her makeup, I generally take two things that do not seem to go together and I put them together and I MAKE you think that they should have been together all along."

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like yellow and green polka dots with black and silver zebra print."

"You're insane," Kurt said, with a look of horror on his face.

Jonesy balled up her fist and told him, "Watch what you call me!" She threatened through her teeth. Sam took a step forward, knowing that look all too well. Every now and then, Jonesy would hit a bitch. Calling her crazy or any equivalent generally was a switch for her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. That was mean. You're right. But, I can't see that combination working in my head."

She took a deep breath and said, "No, you can't, because you are you and you aren't me." She began to pull some supplies out of her bag and set them up on his drafting table. Sam leaned against the doorpost and watched her work on a rough sketch of whatever she was trying to describe to Kurt.

"Oh dear!" Kurt said, pleasantly shocked as he looked on. "That is going to work wonders with this," he said and set one of his designs on the table.

"Actually, I had it in mind for this one," she told him, flipping through his book to show him another one.

"Yes, that's even better!"

Blaine walked through the door and sat on a soft chair in the corner. "You're welcome to enter, Sam," he said. Sam frowned, but entered the room, as well and had a seat for himself. Jonesy and Kurt mostly talked about ideas, setting outfit sketches on the table and discussing her plans for the makeup. Some of them, she had multiple plans and some, she only had one. But, she honestly had at least one for each outfit. After a while, Kurt excused himself, rushed to the kitchen and called out to Blaine.

When they left, Sam asked her, "How are you handling things?"

"Well. We're working and it's flowing." She nodded her head and smiled at him. Within a few moments, they were being escorted to the dinner table where a nice, very delicate looking meal was set up. They began to eat and talk, casually. Kurt and Blaine both apologized to Sam for interfering when he and Finn fought…

"Wasn't really a fight and I'm not really here to talk about Finn, at all," Sam said and raised an eyebrow at them before giving Jonesy a reassuring look. She smiled, slightly. He preferred that no one brought that up. He didn't know what words could set Jonesy off and he could not say with certainty how he might handle an assault on her still fresh wounds.

Kurt cleared his throat and said, "I was wrong to side with Finn. I mean, I love him, don't get me wrong, but I think that he's seriously in need of help." Sam tapped his foot and stared Kurt down, as he continued. "I thought that he only hit you as a once in a lifetime drunken mistake, but I think that he's hurting Rachel." Blaine looked down at the table, but Jonesy stared at Kurt, waiting to hear more. "She's harder to catch up with these days. When I see her, she looks tired and I've found bruises around her wrists and her throat. I caught her one morning with a busted lip and today, when I saw her, she had a black eye. She took away my spare key to her apartment." Kurt's eyes were welling with tears.

"Sounds messed up," Sam said.

"I don't know how to get her away from him! What do I do? I know that she's not fighting him back. She doesn't have a fighting bone in her body!" Kurt cried.

"Did you tell her to leave him?" Mercedes asked, in a low voice.

"Yes, of course. I insisted that she leave him and she insisted that I was misunderstanding what was happening," he admitted.

Mercedes shook her head and said, "If she doesn't want to do anything about it, there is nothing that anyone else can do, either. I'm sorry about your friend, but I don't know what you think I can tell you about her situation."

"Well, when you were with Finn, was he like this?" Kurt asked.

"I wasn't with Finn," she said.

"Finn has been talking about you for months!" Kurt said.

"We have to go," Mercedes said and went to collect her things. Sam dropped his fork and followed her to the workroom to help her calm down as she packed things up. Her bottom lip was quivering but she refused to cry. Crying would have shown her weakness and she was not about to do that before Kurt nor Blaine. Sam reached out towards her and touched her hand, and she shook her head. His touch was going to undo her. He pulled back and she rushed passed the hosting couple, darting towards the door.

"Mercedes, I just need help…" Kurt attempted, but Sam lifted a hand to halt him.

"You tried, she declined. Leave her be, or you'll have me to deal with," Sam warned and went outside to the truck. Mercedes was leaning against it, and when he came to her door to open it, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "You can let it out, with me," he promised her. God, she wanted to believe that SO badly. She wanted to believe that she could talk to Sam and trust him not to abuse what she gave him… But, she thought of Dustin. She thought of Finn.

"I was asking to get raped," she said.

"No!" Sam told her and pulled her into his arms. She cried against him and shook. He could hardly stand it. He missed his precious, joyful, jubilant Jonesy with her whimsical attitude and bubbly personality. He wanted her back, so much! He wanted her to stop hurting.

"I did. I did. I made Finn the way he is. It's like I couldn't stop the momentum. I perpetuated a cycle…"

"What?" Sam asked, having no idea what she was talking about.

She pulled away from him and stared at the pendant on his necklace of a bull (Sam was a Taurus. She got him that necklace and as far as she knew, he never took it off, and he'd woven some of her hair in the threads of the necklace itself – which was one of the first times that she began to worry about their relationship, even after Tina assured her that Sam was "just like that."

"Finn wasn't abusive. Finn was strange and he was a bit dumb, but he was a safe guy. That was why I never minded hanging out with him, solo. And he was cushiony… made for cuddling and stuff. He was like a tall ass teddy bear. We went from hanging and cuddling to fucking to…" She sighed and said, "Finn and me played rape games. I started doing it a few months after I dropped the charges on one of my shrinks… who… who…" she sighed and choked out, "Who raped me." She couldn't bring herself to look up at Sam's face. She could only image the horror and disgust that must be evident on his face, and just the thought of it crushed her heart.

She saw his shoulders shaking and she reflexively glanced up and saw tears streaming down his face. So far, Sam did a pretty good job of holding that in, but now – he just couldn't. "Jonesy… I…" He shook his head and said, "I am so sorry that happened to you, but it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault when your shrink did it and even if you and Finn played games or whatever every single day for the past ten years, it wasn't your fault when he did it, either."

"But, why does it keep happening, then?"

"Because monsters live amongst us," Sam said. She exploded into a new rush of tears and fell forward on his chest. They were there for a while longer. Sam had to pull himself together. His reaction couldn't have helped her, at all. But, now so much made since to him! No wonder he was finding out how secretive she had been with him for the duration of their friendship. Hell, it was no wonder that she was ever able to even function as a person. "You don't have to put your mask back on, Jones. You can crush it beneath your feet and you might as well get used to me being on this journey with you, because I am never leaving you alone and I will never let you get hurt again."

They didn't talk more about it. Jonesy didn't even know how to handle the subject. It was a bit of a relief that now Sam knew more about her, but it was also frightening and she didn't want to push it any further. Then, she was sick for a couple of days, but she assured Unique over the phone that she would still work on her assignment, at home and she went into the studio during her sick time to do her diva's face for the day. "Oooh, Lawd! Honey. Cupcake. Muffin… PLEASE, tell me that whatever it is that has you looking that way is not contagious?" Unique asked when Jonesy reached her chair.

"I don't know. Sam is making me go see a doctor if I'm not better in a couple more days. I think that old age is just getting tired of my drink habits. I knocked back a couple after I left Kurt's last night. They both came back up with that lovely meal that I had. Last time I drank, I got really sick, then, too." She shook her head, "But, as you can see – I came prepared to make you glorious." Jonesy lifted her kit into the air and Unique scoffed. "Of course by make you glorious, I meant defy perfection with my flawless makeup on your already fabulous self."

"That's exactly what the hell you meant," Unique told her. "Hmm, so Sam's making you go see a doctor. In the meantime, what are you taking?"

"Everything that I've tried to take has come up. So, I'm just trying to stay hydrated, water, pedialyte, cranberry juice, ginger ale to settle my belly, and only eating crackers… well… I went for a cracker, but it was disgusting as hell, so I ate a biscuit, instead."

"Pregnant ass," Unique said and shook her head. Mercedes dropped her entire makeup kit and it crashed to the floor. Both of the women jumped and Unique folded her arms.

"Don't worry, Unique. Damn, calm down. I've dropped this thing more times than I've held it. She reached for the kit and opened it. Mostly everything was still tucked into place. "I got a sturdy one because of the clumsy nature of my fingers." When she began to apply Unique's makeup, she could not shake that comment from her head.

Unique was going on and on talking about how Jeremiah was cute and all, but he wasn't out of the closet and she couldn't get with somebody who couldn't be themselves. She was going on about how Gavroche was perfectly happy with himself, but "not cute for nothing in the whole gay world," however, she could deal with it, because he had style. She was going on about how if she was going to get the entire package, she would go for Sebastian, "But, he likes guys like Blaine. He wouldn't even be ready for this… Unique turned and looked at Jonesy, with a lifted arched eyebrow, "Sweet stuff?"

Mercedes looked down and saw that she had dropped her brush. "Sorry. I got a bit lightheaded. All I ate all day was a biscuit."

"You need to get some prenatal vitamins, Girl. I should have some." Unique reached into her purse and gave her friend a bottle, decked out in glitter and feathers. When Jonesy threw her a confused look, she explained, "Helps the fingernails to grow long and strong."

"I don't need prenatal vitamins, Unique," Mercedes told her.

"Yes you do. Sam's gonna be pissed if your baby comes out looking like Howard the Duck, because you didn't let him form right, with some proper nutrients."

"Sam loves Howard the Duck," Mercedes said, not commenting on the fact that if she was pregnant, it wasn't Sam's, the fact that she and Sam weren't together, nor the fact that she was not here for any of the snarky comments. "And Sam loves kids. He'd love a kid that came out looking like Mac from Mac and Me."

"I don't even know what the hell that is, and I have never seen Howard the Duck, beyond the back of the DVD cover, when I picked it up in the $2 movie bin, and threw that shit all the way back in," Unique said… "But, I somehow knew that the two of you probably saw some shit like that. You two are nerd-credulous." Mercedes smiled. "No, no – not a compliment."

"Well, I took it as one," Mercedes said.

"Well, now take one of these vitamins," Unique said.

"I don't need…"

"Bitch, even if you aren't pregnant - It's a vitamin. It can't hurt. Here, you can have some of my drink. Don't worry, I haven't sucked any dick today… which is why I'm so flustered. It's 10 am. The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup. It's having a good dick sucking contest between you and the lucky man that got to spend the night. But, nobody spent the night, last night and now, I'm rambling, yet again. I'll have to call somebody to help me ease my tension," Unique said.

"One of the last things that I'd be worried about is secondhand dick-sucking germs," Jonesy said, talking the vitamin. "I'm like an Olympic gold medalist in that sport."

"Baby, should I be worried about these secondhand germs from you today, then?" Unique asked.

"Naw… I haven't been doing anything like that. But back in the day, you better ask somebody. I could do martathons."

"You don't say," Unique egged her on.

"Didn't I tell you about the time that I was at a college frat party and one of these sisters was hazing for a sorority and was supposed to suck off all these frat dudes and I volunteered to take her hazing for her?"

"You weren't even trying to get in the sorority?" Unique asked.

"I didn't even go to the school," Jonesy said. They both began laughing and after a moment, Mercedes paused and held her abs. "Girl, let me hurry up and finish your makeup, so I can go my sick ass home."

"Yes, and when you get there; don't come back until you no longer look like a peasant. How dare you set foot in my studio in some yoga pants?" Jonesy could not help but to laugh again, but damn it if she didn't feel terrible… and damn it if she wasn't now paranoid as hell.

The next day, Unique told her that she could do her own makeup, but that she owed her lunch, with extra dessert. That was no big deal for Jonesy. She got up in the middle of the night with hunger pains, from starving herself from fear of vomiting and ended up binge eating everything left in the fridge – which was half a jar of almond butter – which she destroyed at the ends of some sticks of celery, with some raspberry jam, a couple of slices of cake and half of a leftovers plate from breakfast from Mrs. Evans – chicken fried chicken with sausage gravy, the other biscuit that she hadn't eaten for breakfast, and scrambled eggs. She poured syrup on everything, then realized that there were Eggos in the freezer. Yup – that was good and she undid the strings on her yoga pants, feeling good to go.

What was on TV? She went for her phone to check the listings online and glanced into Sam's room to see that he wasn't there. She checked the time – 3:45 am… Sam must have been rocking out, she presumed. What day of the week was it? She checked her phone – now Tuesday. Sam had sent her a text: I ran into an old friend and went out… Not really sure when/if I'll be home, but if you need me for ANY reason, call me and I will be there for you. There's half a pizza in the oven, if you get hungry. An old friend? Obviously, Sam had a late night date – as she generally referred to booty calls. It had been a while, unless she simply had not known or had not being paying much attention.

She was entering into her seventh week since that faithless night and she could not remember Sam hooking up with anyone within that time. "Well, good for him," she said, but quickly frowned. She was lying to herself. She didn't want Sam out with some "old friend," any more than she wanted to go see a doctor and possibly receive some of the worse news that she might have to endure. She had not had a cycle – but hell, she had been sexually assaulted, lost someone she considered a friend, gone through an emotional rollercoaster with her best friend and in grievous counseling sessions – she presumed it was all stress until Unique's comment.

Things did not get any better as she headed for the couch and noticed that she had a missed call from Finn. She froze. She had not expected to see such a thing and he had not attempted to reach out to her since everything happened that night. She had no idea what happened, but somewhere between seeing that alert for a missed call and the couch, she didn't make it… She had no idea how long she had been sprawled out on the floor when she woke up. The hell? Mercedes sat up and looked around. Her phone had slid across the floor and her lips felt busted. Damn. She'd passed out. Then, she remembered the last thing that she saw before doing so. Finn had called. Shivering and trying not to cry, she crawled over to her phone and texted him: I am warning you – NEVER call me again! She texted and sat, in that spot, on the floor, unable to move and unable to breathe… Shit – first she fainted, now she was pretty sure that she was having a panic attack. She tried to text Sam, but the phone fumbled out of her hands.

Who the hell was she fooling with that warning? If Finn wanted to do something to her, it was already a proven fact that she couldn't so a thing about it. With shaking, labored breaths and tremors rushing through her from the core out, she finally dialed Sam's phone number. He answered, obviously groggy from sleep and she could hardly formulate words. "Ffff…ffff….ffff…"

"Jonesy?" He said, suddenly alert. "What's up? You okay?" He asked, shuffling around, sounding concerned.

"Finnnnnn….." She mumbled and just shivered, holding the phone, ridiculously surprised and embarrassed at how terrified it made her to even think of Finn coming anywhere near her, now.

"Is he there? I'm on my way!" Sam said.

"He's not… He… he… called and I fainted, and now, now, now, now…" She couldn't say anything else. She was seriously trying, but now was the only word that her mouth would mutter.

"Stay on the phone with me, Jonesy. I'm on my way. I am getting in my truck, right now and I'm headed home. It's okay, alright? Just go into your happy room and wait for me."

"C-c-c-c- can't… move," she said, shivering, then her phone buzzed, which made her jump and she looked at it to see a text from Finn: What the hell are you talking about, Dolphin. I have called you in weeks. That's a violation and you need to stop trying to bait me, or you'll succeed. She yelped and leaned back against the wall, shaking vigorously.

"I'll be there, Jonesy. I'm coming, okay?" Sam began to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, from Monty Python's The Life of Brian to her and she calmed her breathing and her shaking was not as bad. As he continued singing in the comical British accent, she eventually felt calm. When had this happened? When had Sam become able to do such a thing for her? Maybe, he always was this soothing factor in her life, and she simply never knew it. Maybe it was because she had never given him the chance. She heard the door open and she got up, finally able to move and saw Sam, partially dressed and holding his phone to his ears, disheveled hair and scratches down his chest. She couldn't care less. She had never been happier to see him and rushed right to him for a hug. "Jonesy, you okay?"

She looked up at him and nodded, still holding on to him, for dear life. "I am now," she said. He pulled her close against him and cradled her. Sam sighed and his heart could finally slow down, now that he saw that she was fine. What the hell was he thinking leaving her? She had been doing better, but she had been shaken up every since dinner the other night. He wouldn't make that mistake again. He told her that he was going to look after her, and he would never break that promise.