Author's note: So to be honest I've been postponing this chapter for about two chapters now. This was actually supposed to be chapter 7 but since the last few chapters have been about Deeks waking up I thought I couldn't just jump back to the past and leave you with knowing that he was waking up and that's it.

So now that he's awake and Kensi's hit an emotional low I thought it was the right time to get back to their past for one chapter - before I give you one of my favorites chapter (up until now - which will be next week's chapter 10)

So enjoy this little one, love milly

NINE

vel-vet

/'velvət/

Noun

1. A closely woven fabric of silk, cotton, or nylon that has a thick pile on one side.

2. A pleasant, desirable situation.

3. A soft downy skin that covers a deer's antler while it is growing.

Excerpt from chapter 5:

''Please, let me take you to the doctor, he can prescribe you something and maybe-'' she slowly put up her hand, placing her hand on his cheek, her thumb pressed against his lips as to shut him up.

''Alright, I'll do it. You can take me there but first, let me get dressed'' she gave him a tired but honest smile and got up to get dressed. She knew exactly that this person she was about to see was the one person she'd hoped she would never have to see again. Still, he was right – they couldn't go on like this.

October 23rd 2014 – 6 days before the crash – 4 years ago

When they arrived at the clinic, there was no one in the waiting room. The only person they could see was a young, blonde receptionist who was chewing gum and looked very bored. After all, it was Saturday and it was early in the morning – barely 8 AM.

''Ms. Blye'' a familiar and unwanted voice called her name. Kensi turned around to meet her doctor, who had told her that she'd never be able to conceive a child.

''Mr. Deeks, good morning. What brings you two here?'' his voice sounded tired but he seemed eager to know the cause of their visit.

''You told us to come by if the pain didn't stop'' Deeks started and Kensi cut him off.

''It's not really that kind of pain..it's more like a morning sickness'' she added, not looking at her doctor. Possibly another miscarriage she didn't want to know about.

''Well, lets go take a look'' the doctor said, his dark blue, almost gray eyes smiling at them as he motioned them the way to the examination room.

''Please lie down over there, I'll get your file and then we can start. You remember how this goes, don't you?'' Kensi nodded silently and the doctor closed the door behind him as he left the room.

''We'll be good – you'll be good'' Deeks tried to comfort her whilst she prepared to lie down.

A few minutes later the doctor came back in and started an ultrasound but Kensi could not look at it.

She squeezed her fiance's hand as hard as she could and she could see he was concentrating on not showing how hard she was actually squeezing. Instead he quietly looked at her whilst the doctor did his work.

''Well..'' the doctor finally started but Deeks' phone cut him off.

''I'm so, so sorry'' he excused himself, looking at his phone – his look showing Kensi that something was wrong. ''Ehm..'' he started but silenced himself, looking at Kensi.

''Take it, we'll wait'' she nodded, still not looking at what the ultrasound showed.

''It'll be just a minute'' he assured her and the doctor nodded patiently.

''We will wait, Mr. Deeks. There is no hurry, really'' he softly smiled at the concerned fiance as he left the room to take his call.

''Callen, what is it?'' he answered the phone impatiently. His mind wandering off to Kensi in the room he had just left.

''I'm sorry, I hope I haven't interrupted anything'' his colleague started. ''But we've got a case – Hetty wants you in OPS asap.'' he finished quickly and waited for Deeks to answer.

''Can't-'' Marty sighed and took a deep breath. ''Can't it wait? We're in the middle of something here'' he stated and quickly added a ''Kensi didn't feel that good and we had to go to the doctor'' so that Callen wouldn't misunderstand him.

''She alright?'' G. seemed worried and for a second he seemed to have forgotten that he was supposed to make them come in.

''Yes, yeah she's good'' Deeks frowned as he realized he actually didn't know. ''Listen, I'll be right there, just – tell Hetty Kensi's not gonna come in today, alright?''

He heard a quick ''sure'' and then they hung up. He put the phone back into his pocket, turned around and stepped back into the room, hoping that what he had told Callen was true.

The way Kensi looked at him when he re-entered the room let him know that she hadn't looked at the ultrasound yet. Instead she seemed eager to know what his call had been about.

"Is everything alright?" she quickly asked as soon as he was standing next to her again, taking her hand in his.

"Yeah – we've got a case, actually" he started and looked at her. "I told them that I'd be there in a while but that you were going to take the day off" he interrupted himself as he saw her frown and then quickly added a "If you don't feel like working" so she wouldn't feel like he was making the decisions on her behalf.

"I'd actually love to go to work today" she stated and sounded a little upset. "But maybe we should hear the doctor out before we plan our day?" she suggested and he nodded carefully.

They both turned to look at the doctor and were confused to see him smile.

"Would you please listen?" the doctor demanded and performed the ultrasound a second time.

Whatever the reason why they hadn't heard it before – now they did.

"What's that?" Deeks asked, his voice barely a whisper; like a child who had been asked to remain silent but needed to know what was happening either way.

"Listen" the doctor repeated and smiled as he saw them look at the ultrasound and actually listen to what they were hearing.

"Is that-?" Kensi started but silenced herself, squeezing her partner's hand.

"A heartbeat?" Deeks finished the question and looked at the doctor.

"Two – actually" he stated and stopped the ultrasound – freezing the picture on the monitor. "One, Miss Blye, is yours. The other, however, is your child's heartbeat" he announced proudly and printed the image.

"Child?" it sounded like a duo of voices in disbelief.

"You said I can't have any children" Kensi's voice sounded like she was blaming the doctor and to some degree she was.

"Sometimes that can change. It is possible that it was some sort of 'phase'" the doctor started to explain without letting her tone get to him. "Sometimes the body is in distress and shows symptoms of a hostile uterus. Sometimes it has hormonal causes. Whichever the reason, you're pregnant, Miss Blye"

Whatever she had felt before, no matter how much she blamed the doctor, she was grateful for his words. Pregnant.

"How long has it been?" Deeks asked, his eyes fixed on the image of an already perfectly formed body – not bigger than the size of an almond.

"Eight weeks" the answer came but Deeks wasn't listening. The only thing he could do was look at their little miracle and thank god that this had happened. It wasn't like he wouldn't have been able to live his life to the fullest without a child, however it was affecting his relationship with Kensi in a negative way. But now their luck had changed and no matter what happened next – nothing would ever change that.

"Well, sometimes you don't know how lucky you are to have something until you realize you might lose it" - Kensi Blye