10. Shock tactics.

Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods.

AN: I know I have written Bella shocked by the age issue before, but personally, I think it would be a huge issue for her. And for the people who want to argue with me about Paul's age, go read New Moon chapter 7 (p153 in my edition) where Jake is telling Bella about Sam's 'gang' cliff diving. Jake grizzles to Bella that "Paul's just sixteen, too, shorter than me and not as beefy as Quil."

He wasn't sure where to take her. She was clearly having some kind of shock reaction. He kept her held in against him and rode. She needed warmth and sweetness if she really was in shock. She was still shivering, and clutching his arm and the bike journey was probably making her colder. He went to the diner. He shepherded her to the benches out the front and went to get her a hot, milky coffee. A caramel latte or something. That would fix her.

He came out and she was still sitting where he had left her. He was starting to worry a little. Fuck the stupid dickwad at the school. He had been looking forward to folding her over the bike and fucking her. Sounded like a grand plan to his inner wolf.

He sat behind her and pressed the drink into her hand. He scooted in as close to her as he could get.

"Tell me what you are freaking about?" he asked her after she had managed to take a few sips of the drink.

She just shook her head.

"Okay," he agreed. He stayed right where he was; warming her. She sipped some more of the drink. He kissed the side of her head and waited for her to tell him what the fuck was wrong.

"You… you're a child," she finally blurted out.

He snorted. "Hardly."

"Y-you're sixteen…" she hissed at him.

"Yeah… same age as Jake."

She just gaped at him. "But…"

"I phased earlier…I was fifteen… dunno why he didn't phase that young… guess it helps to have something to be angry about…eh? He always was fucking happy." He sounded disgusted.

"But … How can you be the same age? You're… so… different to Jake." It sounded like that wasn't what she meant to say.

"Yeah... and…?"

"But it's wrong…"

"What is? You're not doing anything wrong. I'm old enough now."

"Now… but you can't have been... you know…before."

"And that is your problem how?"

"What?"

"How are you responsible for what has happened to me in the past?"

"I…I…"

"Ever made a mistake in your life Izzy?"

She couldn't follow his change of subject. Yes, she had made a few mistakes in her life. "Yes," she grudgingly conceded.

"And do you fixate on those mistakes … Jeez, knowing you; you probably do… do you spend the whole of the rest of your life wishing you had taken the blue pill… or do you just… live."

She looked at him. He was angry with her. "I'm… sorry. It's not a criticism of you."

"Isn't it?" He stood suddenly as if he had to move.

She didn't know what to say to that. He was right to think she was criticising him; she was rejecting him because of it.

"You wanted this." He made a kind of a gesture down his body. "Because of what it can do to you… you wanted… a… piece... of… me."

He was right and she couldn't answer him.

"That was the deal… or don't you want it now?" he pressed.

"No… I mean… yes… I … I'm sorry." She breathed out heavily. He just looked confused. After her last statement she knew why.

She reached out and took his hand. "I want it… I want you," she corrected.

"Okay then." He sat back down and scooted up to her. He lowered his face and put it in under hers where she was looking at the ground again. "You can't fix me Izzy," he told her. He kissed her; just a gentle touching of lips. "I'm not broken," he said.

He hugged her. She felt warmer already. Whether it was the hot drink, the sweetness or him, she didn't know. She finished her coffee.

"That's better," he said. "Jeez are you going to do that every time you get a shock?" he asked.

"No… the last time I panicked like this was when James was tracking me…" she stopped suddenly and instinctively pulled down her sleeve over her wrist. Her heart rate was out of control again and her face was white.

"James?" he asked. Of course he picked up on all her physical reactions. He looked down and grabbed her arm; pulling up the sleeve of her shirt with his other hand. He saw the bite with its odd shiny, silver texture. "What the fuck, Izzy?" he hissed at her. "Is that a vampire bite?" He was shaking; vibrating.

She thought he was going to lose it and phase right here. She clambered onto him. He couldn't phase here at the diner. She had to stop him. She didn't even think about how stupid it was to get closer to a wolf that was about to phase; she just knew she had to stop him. "I'm not broken… I'm here… feel me… I'm all right… I'm not broken either…" She peppered his face with little kisses, straddling his body and wrapping her legs around him; pressing herself in against him. In an act of supreme will, she saw him push back the beast. He swallowed it down and then he grabbed her.

He held her tight against him. It wasn't sexual. It was a comfort thing now.

She crooned to him and he rocked her gently; pressing her in against him. She touched him; little strokes of his skin. Just making and maintaining contact with him; with the human him. He had his face buried behind her ear again.

"Paul?" she ventured.

"Mmmf," he answered from in her hair.

"We could go home… to my place… Charlie is out… if you wanted to…" she offered.

He didn't answer her, just bundled her back onto the bike almost before she had finished talking. He held her in front of him again. If Charlie saw them with no helmets on, he would have kittens. Paul still kept pushing his face into her hair as if it kept him grounded somehow.

They got to the house and he bundled her off the bike and into the house. She had barely got the key in the door before he was pushing it open over the top of her head. Her bag was dropped just inside the door, and then he bundled her up the stairs and into her bed.

He had already taught her that sex could be amazing; that it could go on for as long as he wanted; that it could be erotic and fiery and now he taught her that it could be slow and comforting.

He had her clothes off and she was tugging and tearing at his, until they were both naked. He sat on the edge of her bed and hauled her into his lap. His mouth worked at her breasts, sucking and licking. His hands pressing into her back and holding her where he wanted her. She wrapped her arms around his head and held him there. She was already wet when she felt his long, clever fingers slide between her legs. He stroked her and slid one inside to make sure she was wet enough; it didn't seem to be an end in itself.

He lifted her up and she put her hands on his shoulders, and then he lowered her onto his long hard length. She took him in as slowly as she needed to; working him into her inch by inch. He held her easily and she used his shoulders for support. He kept looking at her face. She wasn't sure how to describe that look.

When she was fully seated he stood a little, holding her onto him with one hand and he pulled her feet out, so that they were straight on the bed behind him, not tucked up under her. She couldn't lift herself very well now.

But she didn't need to; she wasn't going anywhere. He rocked and lifted into her; little small movements that had her mewling for him. She could lean back and change the angle a little and she tried that a couple of times but once but she must have brushed the inside of her wrist against his shoulder. He actually flinched.

"I'm sorry," she apologised.

"It's okay… I never noticed it before… some werewolf I am," he muttered. He kept rocking her onto him.

"What does it feel like … to you?" she asked.

"It feels cold… really cold."

"You're usually behind me," she realised.

"What?"

"You are always behind me… when we have sex…so you haven't felt it before…"

"You mean when we …fuck." He punctuated that with a lift into her.

"Oh yes…" she moaned.

"Izzy…"

"Paul…"

"Kiss me…"

She could in this position, usually he was too tall. So she did. She kissed him and she poured her humanity into it. To remind him that she was still human.

They rocked together for what seemed like a long time. She didn't have earth shattering orgasms, but lots of little ones. She seemed to have hit a plateau and then she just stayed there. It didn't take much to nudge her up. Eventually it wasn't enough for him. He stood holding her onto him. He turned her back to the bed and he crawled onto it, still holding her. She squirmed against him.

He lay her down on her back; her feet around his waist now.

"I need room to move," he told her. And move he did. He changed from slow and gentle to a hard, deep movement that had her almost screaming in half a dozen strokes. He pistoned into her. His hips lifting and slamming into her. He hit somewhere within her that hurt enough to take her breath away. But oddly it felt kind of good too. She suspected that it would really have hurt if he had done it straight off, but all his previous work had prepared her for what he gave her now.

And he needed to give it to her. She got that. He was up on his arms. She just hung on for the ride.

He muttered something at one stage. She thought it might have been 'not broken' but she couldn't be sure. And she also wasn't sure if he meant her or himself.

She clutched at his face and looked into his eyes. But then he had her throwing her head back and screaming as she came. He arched into her and she clutched at his back. He stayed pushed into her for a few beats and then he made a noise as all his breath gusted out in a great whoosh.

He lifted her with him and lay on his side. She reached up and touched his face; sliding her hand under his cheek where it lay on her pillow.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey yourself."

"You okay now?"

He nodded. "Yep… now." And he smiled at her. She caught her breath. She had never seen that smile before.

And she wanted to see it again.

FF_2154210_ - 5/07/2011 11:36:00 PM