Roller Disco Devils
Roller Disco Smash!
In the annals of the criminal world there are several different cliques. The dictators, the science masterminds, and the lunatics usually garner the most ink but there are a select few who make their mark in their own way. Some only target a particular hero; others are local to a particular city. There exists an even smaller breed that prefers the smaller scale.
One such group was the Yancy Street Gang. Operating solely within the confines of Yancy Street, the gang was barely a blip on most radars. To be honest, they preferred it that way. The gang didn't even view themselves as criminals; they preferred to think of themselves as a sort of vanguard of the community; although if anyone dared to call them that they would find themselves on the receiving end of a beating.
There was another gang that was also largely ignored. Unlike the Yancy Streeters they were not happy with this view. The Roller Disco Devils were going to be the biggest thing since the Dead Rabbits, that was until their habit of blasting loud music and causing a ruckus earned them the attention of the Incredible Hulk.
When most of the gang managed to get out of the hospital they swore to get even. Not with the Hulk, as that would be crazy. No, their intended target would be society! Or at least a section that wasn't allowing gamma fueled giants to squat there.
-R
"And I'm telling you, disco won't die and neither will the 'Devils!" Slickly Ricky pumped his fist into the air. His well-maintained perm bounced with his every shake.
"And I agree 'ol brother of ours, but what exactly are you going to do about it?" Slim, the fattest member of the gang, folded his arms.
"Simple, we are going to have a good old fashioned rumble!" Ricky beamed. The rest of the gang was quiet.
"With who?" A voice in the back shouted.
"Easy, with the only suckers who stand in our way…the Yancy Street Gang!"
"Aren't those the guys that fight the Thing?" Another voice asked.
"No, those are the guys that prank the Thing. Clearly they're just asking for their turf to be taken, and we're the ones to do it!"
-Y
Yancy Street could never be called high end. Even when the streets of Manhattan were dirt the residents of Yancy Street could counted on to be poorer than the streets. The gangs tended to congregate towards areas that provided advantages or targets. Yancy Street had neither, but the people there seemed to thrive on conflict.
It took a larger role when one of its own named Ben Grimm went off and made a name for himself, first in the war then in outer space. Soon most people were aware of the Gang's habit of pranking the Thing. Few ever questioned the reasoning.
-D
The Roller Disco Devils arrived in full regalia. With boom-boxes on their shoulders and the dulcet tones imploring the listeners to rock and/or roll, the gang skated boldly. The few people on the street paid them no mind.
"Man, this place is the pits!" Slickly Ricky spat as he slowed down. "Ok boys, full stop!"
The Roller Disco Devil stopped. Ricky beamed with pride. "Now, let's tag this joint and let everyone know the Roller Disco Devils are back in business!"
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A wino emerged from an alley.
"Hey, you looking to get smashed old man? Buzz off!"
The old wino shrugged and took another swig from his bottle. "Well, I warned the lot of ya. Not my problem anymore." He slinked back into the darkness as the Roller Disco Devils broke out the spray cans.
A hastily made mural, proclaiming the Roller Disco Devil's superiority, was thrown together on the front of a run-down brownstone. "Great job guys, now let's beat feet. When the sheep come round and see this, everyone is going to know the Roller Disco Devils mean business!"
The Devils skated away into the night, their stereos blasting away. The street showed no other sign of life, yet the air was different. Something was going to give.
-D
"So, what's the word bird?" Ricky leaned back in the moth eaten recliner.
"About that…"the heavyset man wiped his brow. "Well, it seems the Yancy boys must have come in after we left and repainted everything."
"What?" Ricky jumped from the chair. "Those crumb bums! Ok boys, now we have to use our secret weapon!"
"What is that?" one of the members shouted from the back.
Ricky stomped over to a file cabinet. With a well-placed kick the rusted metal drawer popped open. Ricky yanked out the contents and waved them overhead. After a minute's silence, someone broke the ice.
"Umm…what is it?"
"It, my fellows, is our ticket to Yancy Street then the world! I picked it up for a song from the Hypno Hustler." Ricky unfolded the object. It looked like a large pair of earphones. "Yup, with these babies in our hands, no two bit punk gang can stand against us!"
-Y
The next night, the Roller Disco Devils appeared in full force. Besides their boom boxes and roller skates, each member sported the Hypno Hustler's strange devices on their heads. "Ok boys, now we show them who's the boss!" Ricky flipped a switch near his left ear on and started to skate.
Sound waves blasted out through the speakers, wrapping everything in front of the Devils. Lamps bent and sagged under the strange waves while the street buckled and ebbed like a river. "Hey boss, what are these things?" one of the members shouted over the strange din.
"Oh, the Hypno Hustler wasn't sure. He tried to install them in his stage equipment, but he said they kept acting too funky so he scrapped the whole lot. Bought them all for a song!" Ricky shouted back.
They pressed on before a half empty beer bottle came screaming from an alleyway and shattered near Ricky's feet.
"Beat it you bums!" a voice rang out. It was quickly followed dozens of others, some more colorful than the first.
"Yancy Street Gang? We're the Roller Disco Devils and we're taking your turf!" Ricky shouted back. A half rotted egg salad sandwich hit him in the face.
Wiping his face clean, Ricky pumped his fist. "Ok boys, let 'em have it!"
Ricky stepped to the side as all the Roller Disco Devils flipped their switches. The street before them cracked open. The front of the buildings rocked and swayed to the pounding beat.
As dust and shattered glass rained down, Ricky smiled. "Yeah, bring it all down baby! Those Yancy bums won't be able to stop us!" The front of an old brownstone crumbled and collapsed.
Ricky ran a finger over his throat. The Devils switched their weapons off. "That was just a taste Yancy Street! If you all kiss our skates, we might let you live!" Ricky laughed to himself. He was going to be a big shot after this.
"Disco sucks!" A chorus rang out as garbage, including a few manhole covers, dropped from the rooftops.
Falling back, the Devils huddled together. "Let's hit them again!" Ricky argued as the street rumbled. "What's that?"
Yancy Street began to buckle and pulse. A concrete pillar rose up and darted like a snake. "What's going on?"
"Yancy Street protects its own you creeps!" The voices cried out from the shadows.
The Roller Disco Devils stared up in horror as the street, sidewalk and buildings merged into something close to a hand. A hand that quickly formed a fist.
The Roller Disco Devils didn't have time to skate as the fist slammed into them. The next morning, a few of the residents would see a few smashed devices and some mangled skates. No one ever wondered about the Roller Disco Devils and no inquiries were made.
The end
The Yancy Street Gang first appeared in Fantastic Four I#15 (June 1963) with credits to Stan Lee (script), Jack Kirby (pencils), and Dick Ayers (inks), Stan Goldberg (colors), and Artie Simek (letters)
The Roller Disco Devils were a Hostess Ad creation, first appearing in all Marvel Comics published in August 1980. Sal Buscema (pencils) is the only known creator.
Many thanks to Darci for the proofreading!
Be here next time when Magneto tackles the full fury of Hydra!
Keep an eye out for that and these future issues
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