Okay. This chapter was getting way too long. And I figured that you would rather have a normal sized chapter twice a week than a huge chapter once a week.

Sometimes in life, a little rain must fall, even in Mexico.

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"When you meet someone that you care about, it's just hard to walk away."

The Agent and the Girlfriend

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Sarah made no effort to keep the grin off her face as she jogged around the resort with Ellie. Why would she? Things were going great. Why shouldn't the rest of the world know how happy she was? Since Ellie and her were both early risers, they had made it a routine to take an early run every day before the guys got up. And it was really the only time of day that you could actually jog and be free of the intense humid heat of the day and the even more intense horde of men who would be waiting to hit on two women alone running in bikinis. At least, that was Ellie's rational. Okay, so maybe that was just an excuse for her to get up and dressed before Cole was awake, but whatever the reason, it was a fun thing for them to do together.

Sarah usually hated to run with other people. They just slowed her down. But actually Ellie was used to running with Devon, so the pace was nothing she wasn't accustomed too. And that had the additional benefit of keeping the horde of men away. Hardy any of them could keep up the blistering pace for more than a couple of minutes.

Ellie was actually having somewhat of a good time with that. She was clearly enjoying teasing them. Sarah normally wouldn't have wanted anything to do with encouraging any other men. After all, she had all the men hitting on her that she could handle under normal circumstances. And even with Chuck still in bed softly snoring, the last thing she wanted to do was to have any more of that to possibly have to explain to him. But she had to admit, it was a little fun to see them trying to keep up after Ellie flirted with them in the just barely there bikini she was almost wearing, only to see the despair in their faces as exhaustion quickly set in and they were left in the dust.

It had truly been a magical few days. Ellie had kept them so busy she was having a tough time reminding herself that this was a mission. Sarah was having such a good time that she was starting to feel guilty. It felt far more like two well-to-do best friend couples going on a vacation. It felt like family. And that was a feeling that she was eating up.

Okay, so Ellie and Cole weren't really a couple. Or were they? It was getting hard to tell. They sure looked like one. Honestly, sometimes they looked more like a couple than her and Chuck did. She freely admitted that she was a little concerned. Every since Ellie admitted her attraction to Cole, Sarah tried to make sure that she was there for her to talk it out. Thankfully, it didn't appear to be going anyplace serious. That could get messy. After all, Devon was a good guy. She didn't know him all that well, not nearly as well as Ellie, but she liked what she did know a lot. He didn't deserve to be hurt.

Naturally, it was Ellie who always thought of the fun touristy things to do. She took her role as itinerary planner very seriously. After all, she reasoned that they were under cover. They needed to look like tourists, right? Of course Sarah knew that Ellie was simply setting up activities to let Chuck and her feel like a normal couple. She also took her role as big sister very seriously. And Sarah had to admit, some of the stuff wasn't really necessary for their cover. But she also had to admit, she had never had more fun in her life.

Sarah wouldn't have predicted that she would have enjoyed going deep sea fishing. She never had gone fishing of any kind before. In fact, she rolled her eyes when Ellie brought it up. But once she found out that there was a mate who was the only one who actually had to touch the fish, she reluctantly agreed. But she didn't think it would be fun. She was wrong. She never laughed so hard in her life as when Chuck reeled in that Octopus… and didn't know what it was. Of course she didn't know either, but it wasn't on her hook. The only problem was that she got a little sunburned. Oh, and a little drunk. She honestly wasn't burned that bad, but it gave her new boyfriend the excuse he was clearly looking for to rub lotion all over her body. And since the lotion part had her pretty much naked anyway, the drunk part took their necking to a new level that night. So all in all, it wasn't that bad.

Sarah would have known that she would have enjoyed the day jumping waves on rented jet-skis… and she was right. Maybe scaring Chuck to death playing chicken with him wasn't her proudest moment, but it was a blast. Even he came around after a while.

But the highlight activity was clearly when they rented a sailboat and spent an incredibly romantic night out on the gulf sleeping under the stars. Sarah had never seen a sight as awe inspiring as those millions of stars. It was so moving as they cuddled together in that hammock that she now knew what her vote was going to be for her and Chuck's honeymoon… and that was the tip off that she was in big trouble. It wasn't the time yet to be thinking in honeymoon terms.

Of course there was the time that they chartered a boat to take them to that private island with a picnic lunch for the day. Ellie was clearly taking this money-is-no-object thing seriously. Sarah happened to mention to Chuck that one of her lifelong fantasies was to make love on the beach with the waves crashing over them, more to see his reaction than anything. She knew they couldn't do that. Although Ellie did drag Cole off for a bit of island exploring to give them some privacy. So they settled for just necking in the surf. Even that was great enough that Sarah added the real thing to her list of planned honeymoon activities. Sarah's bikini mostly stayed on.

And naturally there was plenty of time to just relax on the amazing white beach with a cool rum drink in one hand and her new hot boyfriend in the other. Even though the two weeks was barely half over, Sarah was starting to dread having to go back.

Today Ellie's plan was a bit more ambitious than most. She wanted to take the plane and fly to Teotihuacán, Mexico's grandest archaeological site, to see the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon. There was really no reason why they shouldn't take the plane. They weren't leaving the country so Sarah wouldn't have to deal with bribing the custom's guy again. That would have been a deal breaker. But Sarah had a hard time telling Ellie no, so she agreed. Clearly today was a payoff to Ellie's new roommate. It was obviously designed to appeal to Cole's love of history.

Of course a large part of why Sarah felt so good was her new best friend. She never imagined that she could ever get so close to someone. And the best part was, she could be friends with Ellie without having to break any rules. She wouldn't have to worry about breaking her heart in two weeks. Beckman would care less if she appeared to be close to Chuck's sister. They were getting to the point where they could tell what the other was thinking without even saying anything. It was also clear that Ellie was enjoying this at least every bit as much as she was. She always made sure that part of every day's agenda included some time for the two of them to get away for some girl's only thing. Sometimes they went shopping. Yesterday Ellie bought a new bikini. But most days they just spent a quiet hour having a drink or two together at the bar relaxing and connecting. Most times, those hours turned into giggling sessions talking about Chuck's nerd days growing up. And, sure, a lot of that time was spent in mentoring Sarah in the art of being a real girlfriend. But Ellie opened up to her a lot too. It was amazing how good that made her feel.

And there was actually a fair amount for her to open up. Ellie was definitely taking this vacation-from-being-Ellie thing seriously. Naturally, she was worried about Devon. It took a fair amount of reassurance that he and Casey were almost assuredly fine. Of course Sarah didn't mention that, since Casey hated to waste money, they were probably holed up in some cheap motel room eating army rations. Maybe she was compensating for something, but Sarah definitely noticed a change.

Ellie had always been outgoing and friendly, once she knew you anyway. But now she was downright flirty. Which was okay, except when it encouraged whoever she was flirting with and the friend that he always seemed to have to overflow onto Sarah. And her dress… wow. Usually Ellie was pretty conservative. And Sarah's bikini wasn't exactly modest. But the one that Ellie went and bought yesterday… it was downright tiny. And it was more than that. Even when she was dressed in clothes, it was now always with extra buttons unbuttoned or plunging necklines or no bra. It was completely out of character. Even Chuck noticed, and he was typically pretty clueless about those sorts of things. She was clearly enjoying the extra male attention she was getting… and she was definitely getting it. They hadn't paid for a drink all week… at least when the guys weren't there.

The only bad thing about her spending so much time with Ellie was that it allowed Chuck and Cole to become close. And even that wasn't exactly bad. In a lot of ways it was great. At first blush it was an unlikely friendship. But they had clearly become close buddies. They hung out with each other every day while she and Ellie did their girl thing. It warmed her heart to see Chuck finally make a comfortable friend in the spy world. Oh, Casey was a great partner. And he was plainly coming to have some growing affection for Chuck in his own way. But his affection was mostly manifested in the big brother teasing, tough love style. Casey would rather die than give Chuck a compliment. So a big part of Sarah was happy that Cole had taken Chuck under his wing. The only thing that kept it from being a great thing was that Cole obviously had a different view of Chuck's role in the spy world than she did. And the last thing she needed was Cole encouraging him to take even more risks. He already took far too many.

But the real highlight of the past few days dwarfed all of those other things and kept a perpetual grin on her face. Her and Chuck… well, they just clicked. Which was a good thing considering that they had already agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. She always knew that it would be great. But this… it was better than her wildest fantasy. They held hands almost everyplace they went… swinging their arms like a couple of teenagers on their first date. It was almost embarrassing how she still tingled every time he would grab her hand. Maybe she was in some strange time warp and had turned sixteen again. But in other ways it was like they had been a couple for years. Their snuggling at night was so comfortable that Sarah wondered how she would ever get to sleep alone again. That's as far thinking ahead about after the trial was over that she would allow herself.

And their make out sessions… they had turned decidedly intense. Sarah knew that the last thread of hope that she had in making this work was they hadn't as of yet smoked that symbolic cigarette. But every single night they were coming a little closer to the edge. The truth was that she had long ago given up control to Chuck in that area. She was thankful that Chuck always knew when and how to end it without things becoming painfully frustrating, because she would have long ago just gone for it. As it was, there was a sweet ache that never quite went away.

Sarah was actually beginning to question if it wouldn't be better to just give in and let it happen. At least, they'd have this week. For one thing, she was really starting to feel guilty. The truth was, she had given her body to other men before. Bryce was only the one Chuck knew about. There had been others, not many but a couple, marks on missions that she didn't even know. That's what spies were expected to do. And it was more than just sex that she had given them. She had used her training to become more or less a plaything for those men. After all, that's how you quickly got close enough to a man that he was willing to give up his information, or his country, or his cause. She didn't regret it, not at all. After all she had saved untold lives, and in the case of that mission in Italy, possibly untold millions of lives. But she sure didn't want it to hurt Chuck. And it certainly didn't seem fair to withhold anything now from this incredible man who she was going to grow old with.

And it was not only sex that she was feeling guilty about. She was aching to tell him how much she loved him… and hopefully hear it back. Oh, she had no doubts that he knew how she felt… and even less doubt about how he felt about her. But it would feel so good to be able to say it. He deserved to hear it. And besides, that was something that a mark had never gotten from her. Even Bryce had never heard her say those words exactly. He'd said it… and she didn't correct him, but that wasn't quite the same, was it? It would be so great see the look on Chuck's face when she could truthfully tell him that he was the first man that she had ever been in love with. For that matter, he was also going to be the last one. How great was that?

But she also knew that, hard as it was on both of them, she was doing what was best for him. That's the only reason she could even hope to keep it up. In a week, they were going to have to sell that they were platonic… to experts at reading people who were always watching them. How could they possibly do that after being a sexual couple? And the consequences for blowing it would be severe. There was no way to tolerate being separated. That would force them to run… with everything that implied. It was critical that they not blow it.

She knew she was just rationalizing things in her mind, looking for excuses because she wanted it so badly. One thing was for sure, it might soon be moot. She had already decided that very first night if Chuck pressed the issue in the slightest way, she would just allow it to happen. Well, that might not be exactly true. She would jump on him with an enthusiasm that would probably scare him a little. Besides, they were already getting as close to sex as you possibly could and still say under oath that you hadn't done it yet. Chuck had long ago given up wearing a shirt to bed. Sarah still put on her silk nightshirt every night… but even that was getting silly. For the past few nights it hadn't been on for ten minutes before it was pushed up to her neck, and ten minutes later hit the floor. So far she had managed to keep from ripping Chuck's pajama bottoms off, and her panties had remained more or less in place. But it was clearly just a matter of a few more nights before he got bold enough so that those last things hit the floor as well. And since she was depending on Chuck to stop her, would he be able too once they were naked? Did it even matter anymore?

For one thing, she was dying to know what it would be like. Chuck was simply unlike any other man she had ever heard of. All the other men she had ever been in bed with, including Bryce, were crude, aggressive, demanding, and basically using her for their own satisfaction. Well, it's true that Bryce was the only one who wasn't a mark of some kind. You would probably expect that from them. But Chuck was on a completely different level. He was sweet and tender, almost bashful… and most of all attentive to making her feel totally loved. She just knew that making love with him would be special. She was trying hard not to set her expectations to a ridiculous level. But she knew… it would be so great.

It was funny, even though Sarah was having more fun on this trip than she had ever had in her life… that hour or so just before sleep that they reserved for each other had become the highlight of her day. She knew that she was going to seriously have to give herself a pep talk on the plane ride home after this was over. She was acting far too little like an agent and far too much like a lovesick schoolgirl. If she kept thinking about Chuck as her fiancé instead of her asset, it was her that would blow it and get them separated, not Chuck. Fortunately, that was still six glorious days away.

So there was more than a little tingle when she saw Cole and her special guy standing on the beach. That was until they got closer… and she could see that Cole was teaching him how to block punches. That popped Sarah's good mood like a balloon. It was the last thing that she wanted. Chuck wasn't an agent. Hell, the honest truth was, he wasn't even a good candidate. Cole should have known better. And even if he didn't, she had certainly told him her opinion. All this was going to do was give him false confidence that he could handle himself, and get him in over his head. So she decided, it was time to put an end to this nonsense right now.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked as they walked up, perhaps not harshly but with a clear edge.

"Working on some self defense moves," Cole answered. "Who knows when it could come in handy?"

The flaring in Sarah's nostrils left very little question as to her mood. "We've talked about this," she snapped. "Cole, I know that you think that you're helping. But trust me, you're not helping."

After being real with Sarah for a few months, Chuck would have quickly recognized that she was pissed, kept his mouth shut, and waited a few minutes for her to cool off before trying to talk to her. Unfortunately, today, after only being real for a few days, he foolishly tried to defend his friend and talk to her now.

"Actually," he said with the boyish smile that always got him out of trouble with her, "don't blame Cole. I'm the one who asked him for the help."

Sarah turned her angry face towards Chuck. "Okay," she said, "you want to learn how to fight? Why don't you let me help you? I'm actually in the right mood for a fight."

Chuck suddenly realized that she was more pissed than he had originally thought. So he tried to calm her down. "Come on, Sarah," he said softly. "Let's talk about this. Don't be mad. What's the harm? It can't hurt, right?"

Unfortunately, that was exactly the wrong thing to say to her. It just pissed her off even more. It could hurt… a lot. And it was time to show him. "Okay," she said. "Then show me what you've learned." She threw a punch at Chuck at about three quarter's speed. Chuck was afraid for a second that she was going to actually hit him to make her point… so he was relieved when he easily deflected the blow. However he didn't get the chance to feel good about it for very long. Because Sarah grabbed his arm and used it as leverage to flip him over her hip. Before Chuck knew what was happening, he was face down in the sand with Sarah on his back. She had his right arm pinned behind him. She had him totally controlled by using the pressure of his pinned arm. It hurt like hell. All he could think about was the pain.

"I'll tell you what the harm is," she growled sarcastically. "I know that this hurts but I'm actually taking it easy on you right now. I could very easily make it hurt a lot worse. If I wanted too, I could snap your arm by just leaning on it a little. You'd quickly pass out from the pain and be helpless. What I just showed you is probably the first offensive move that a rookie agent learns. Any agent past their third month of training can do it in their sleep. So now what happens when you take on that agent in a fight thinking you can block his punch? I'll answer that one for you since your mouth seems to be full of sand. You're dead, Chuck. Toe tag dead. Do I have to be any more plain than that? And not to rub salt into an already open wound, after all you're the one who's dead, but do you have a clue what happens to me then? To Ellie? Don't you even care about us? Doesn't it concern you that we have to go to your funeral? Doesn't it bother you that it would make me want to stop living myself? I thought we were past this."

Chuck really couldn't talk. All he could think about was the pain that was running down from his shoulder and into his arm. What came out was more moan than anything.

Sarah turned to face Cole with her white hot angry face while keeping the pressure on his arm. "You think that you're helping," she hissed through gritted teeth. "I understand that. But all you're really doing is encouraging him to get in situations that he's not equipped to deal with. This is my asset, my responsibility. I've tried to ask you nicely several times, one professional to another. I'm going to try one last time, but let's be clear. I'm about done being nice about this. Please stop."

"Okay, Sarah," Cole quickly responded in a hushed voice. "You've made your point. But do you have to do it in such a public place?"

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There was really no reason that Sarah was still manually flying. The autopilot was perfectly capable of keeping the plane on course for the next hour, actually better than she was. Truth be told, Sarah was using flying as an excuse to have a quiet moment to gather her thoughts… and her composure.

Yes, she had gone a little nuts earlier. Okay, so that was an understatement. She had hurt him. Even worse, she had embarrassed him. Once she looked around and saw the people looking at them, she realized what it made Chuck look like. She tried to help him up, to say that she was sorry, but he clearly wasn't in a mood to forgive her just yet, or speak to her for that matter.

She would have been fine with canceling today's trip and spend the day in their room trying to make up with him. But Ellie simply wouldn't hear of it. She mumbled something about getting right back on the horse that had just bucked you off, whatever the hell that meant. It was a shame. They were making such progress. Why did this have to happen? Why did Cole have to encourage him? Why couldn't Chuck understand that she was just looking out for him because she loved him? But blaming Cole didn't take away all of the guilt. The truth was, she had over reacted. There was a much better way to get through to him, but she had taken the easy way out, like she always did. She had let her anger control her… and hurt the one person she was already so tired of hurting.

That's why what had happened this morning was so awful. All the good feeling that had been building this week vanished in an instant. Gone like your breath on a cold windy day. Chuck was in the right hand seat just a few inches away looking out the window. She could have easily reached out her hand and touched him. But it might as well have been miles. Sarah could clearly still see the look of betrayal on his face.

Had she really just blown her chance with him?

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