OOK everybody! here's the new chapter :) i hope you all will like it :)

thank you SO much for the reviews, you're just amazing and even if i'm busy with college and stuff, you're a huge motive for me to keep up

Enjoy...

Chapter Ten – Hermione's Secret

August the 7th 2002

It had been two days ever since he opened his mouth to "threat" her with his words, promising he won't give up and currently, he had no idea how to materialize the things he had promised…

He wanted to make her see; he wanted to have her but what else could he do? He kissed her, told he loves her, told her they can make it, yet she was afraid and an afraid Hermione Granger was always a stubborn and closed up Hermione Granger.

Darn it.

Harry sighed as he remained laid on his bed, the flat was silent, Ron was off with the team for the preparation of the opening match with Bulgaria for the World Cup and Hermione, like the day before, had disappeared at the Burrow and in Diagon Alley with Ginny for the redhead's wedding shopping of hers and Dean. Harry knew that if Hermione was into shopping, she was shitless scared to stay in the same place with him.

In a way, he was glad, because he needed time to form a plan, to think of what to do, he fully believed in the words he had said, he just didn't have a plan to follow, like always. And usually when he was in such situation, Hermione was the one to help him, to find the solution or the path to it for him, but this time, such option was out. He needed help from elsewhere.

What he was supposed to do? Hit her on the head, tie her up and get married to her under the threat of a wand? Sounded pretty strait but he didn't want to think about the moment she'd been released.

She had told him she loves him, it was huge, it was like an epiphany, yet the words that had followed had hurt him. They loved each other, they had even admitted it after all this time… how could this not be enough? Why she was so afraid? She had risked with Ron, yes she had failed but he deserved a chance too, maybe more than anyone else.

He always respected her and her decisions, her actions and ways, not because he wanted to achieve something, but because it always felt natural and he always wanted to be high in her eyes, never to disappoint her, never to have her shed a tear for him. What else could she need from him? He had given her his heart on a plate for her to take and she had refused, he deserved a chance!

'Always the hard way…' Harry groaned as he stood up from his bed and decided to ask help from the first person that popped into his head.

Ten minutes later, Harry was knocking on the Lovegoods' new house door. Some music was heard and Harry could swear it was the Muggle band Oasis, well nothing surprised him anymore when it was about Luna and her father.

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

Harry waited for a moment more and the door opened, revealing a beaming Luna Lovegood that looked at him with her big, dreamy eyes. Harry smiled back at his blond friend who for some reasons had things in common with himself. Luna grinned, hugged him and let him in after her happy greeting; she was wearing a light green dress with yellow straps that glowed every few seconds by magic.

The new household of the Lovegoods were even stranger than the first one that had partly gotten destroyed during the war, right after the Trio's visit. Even more strange objects adorned the walls and the furniture and Harry didn't even ask what all these things were.

'My dad is at the Quibbler, lets go to my bedroom,' Luna offered and Harry nodded his head as they moved up the stairs leading to the girl's room.

If something hadn't changed in the house that were the portraits of Luna's friends, Harry's included in her bedroom's wall, it made Harry smile and reassure himself that Luna could help a lot with his situation, his eyes remained a moment longer on Hermione's portrait before he could turn and look at Luna who was sat on her bed.

'So is this about you realizing you're in love with Hermione?' Luna asked casually, making Harry gasp and stare at her as he had no idea how she could possibly know.

'Uhm yes, it's about that, how come you know?' Harry asked as he sat too on the bed, the blond young woman laughed.

'Well things invisible to us are sometimes pretty obvious to others… aren't they now?' Luna asked lightly and Harry shivered at how observant and honest she could be.

'I guess you're right,' Harry said as he let out a sigh, he hadn't talked about the whole thing to anyone, not Ron, he felt uncomfortable, he actually never talked to Ron about his personal life because a part of it had included Ginny and now it was about Hermione so Harry had none to share his troubles for the past months.

'I told her that I love her, I kissed her, I spoke to her, I moved around the entire fucking Rome with her so she could be happy… and still she refuses to accept facts, she's afraid we'll fail and that our friendship is at cost, but what am I supposed to do? She was always there, she was in different forms, I have hugged her, kissed her, put her behind me to save her and I have been put behind her by herself to be saved, literally and not, I have danced with her, cried with her and now that I want to move to yet another level, she chooses to back off,' Harry finally snapped exasperated, his words moving out of his lips like a river.

'And I feel desperate because I feel like I have nothing else to show and nothing else is left to be shown to me, I have tried, and I promised her, almost threatened her that I won't stop. And I know she counts on that, I know her very well, I know she hopes for me to prove something we both have no idea about and my big mouth said things before my brain could think of what else to do and for the past days I have been staring at my bloody ceiling while she's been escaping the flat in the crack of dawn to avoid me, it drives me crazy!' Harry went on as Luna remained silent by his side.

'I know she loves me, she told me so, I know I have hurt her with Helena and my stupid rows with her, I usually don't row against her but with her, I know I have made her feel bad the past months but I haven't been in a better position, she's haunting me, every day and every night, in my sleep, when I'm awake, when she's away and when she's near me, we've been driving each other crazy for all these weeks and the only thing I can think of is of these eyes looking at me and I feel like the biggest idiot for not noticing before, when not so many things had happened.

'If I had opened my eyes earlier, maybe we'd be together since Hogwarts and now we'd be just fine.' Harry finally said in slower voice and right after his burst, he blushed deeply as he realized he had vented all the things he felt for Hermione before another girl, Luna of all people that somehow seemed the perfect choice.

'Well, Harry, first of all, you don't know if things would be fine with you two if you had found out each other during Hogwarts, maybe you needed to get through all these things, there's no pressure of a war upon your heads, you're both clear of any kind of fear and prophesy and evil. You're both pure and only pure trees give healthy fruits, the ones that have been watered and preserved with fear, evil, worry and war can only get destroyed, like you did with Ginny and Hermione did with Ron…' Luna said and Harry nodded his head, totally agreeing with this weird symmetry of his friend's.

'You have been feeling all these things for her recently, I think Hermione has been feeling these things for longer, try and think how you'd feel in her shoes.' Luna said and Harry this time looked agape at her.

'You mean you believe Hermione has been having feelings for me for more than the past months? Why she wouldn't say a thing to me?' Harry wondered and Luna actually snickered.

'You might be the Savor but you're such a typical male, Harry. She should have woken up one day, stand before you and confess her love? The reasons she sacrificed everything for you? The reasons she stayed when none else did? The reasons everyone believed you two are one thing ever since you were fourteen and I was thirteen?

'People like Molly Weasley who's supposedly like a second mother to both of you and people like Ron who's supposed to know you so well? If you think I don't know about the night with the locket, you're mistaken, I have heard the story from Ron himself during one of his drunken nights after the war, before he could get back with Lavender Brown… Point is, Hermione has been doing things only wives would do for their husbands…. Friendships, we want it or not, have limits, after a point, there are more important things that motivate us all.' Luna said and Harry felt like beating his head on the nearest wall.

He knew all these things, he had seen her, Hermione had indeed sacrificed everything for him, always was there, but he always labeled these actions as acts of friendship, he would do the same and more for her because she was probably the most important person in his life, she was Hermione.

The realization hit him, once again, like a truck. She was Hermione.

Titles like the one of the best friend and the sister and even the one of the wife masked one thing, her value to him, the value of the soulmate. Hermione was his soulmate and the title of the sister and the friend didn't necessarily overpowered the fact of Hermione being something like a wife to him for years now. A wife could also be a loyal friend, a good sister-like figure to count on with whatever troubled you, like couples do when time passes and they get old and only love remains and she could be so much more like a good wife, a loving partner, a great mother of his children.

'Oh dear Merlin and Morgana…' Harry groaned as he rubbed his face with his palms while Luna smiled at him.

'I think you should talk with Ron, he knows her as well, have seen things in her like a boyfriend that you haven't seen yet, maybe you should talk to him, after all, the change of the status of you and Hermione will change your friendship with him. And he might help you more with things we might both be unaware of.' Luna offered and Harry took a deep a breath and nodded. He had to talk with Ron anyway, in the past he wasn't talking such things with him because Ginny was Ron's sister, Hermione however was neither of them sister and he needed help by the person that knew Hermione almost as well as himself.

'You're right, thank you Luna, it's always enlightening to talk with you,' Harry said with a small smile and Luna grinned with her dreamy eyes moving at Hermione's portrait on the wall.

'Oh no problem, it's my pleasure, especially when I'll be telling your children how I helped their mom and dad get together and take their heads out of their asses.' Luna said with her dreamy voice and Harry actually chuckled as he stood up and thanked Luna once again. 'And Harry?' Luna added before Harry could apparate away. 'She's very fragile. She tries to hide it. She's difficult, you know that better than I, but if you make the effort, she's worth it. She's worth the effort.' Luna added and Harry smiled honestly in agreement…

The English Quidditch team was supposed to be one of the most well secured bunch of people in whole Britain but Harry made it to sneak into their camp, partly because of his name and partly because he pretended he was in an Auror mission that included the war Heroes. Merlin, if the auror office people were to hear of his lies…

'Harry! What are you doing here? Is anything wrong? They fetched me at once when you got in, they said it's about the war, did something happen?' Ron asked full of worry as he saw his friend. Ron was still in his uniform while Harry had returned home, put on his auror robes and portkeyed to the camp.

'No everything is fine; I just… needed to talk to you…' Harry said and Ron looked at him oddly.

'Couldn't it wait until after the first match? I am supposed to be really focused on here,' Ron said but Harry shook his head and Ron probably noticed Harry's eyes as he nodded his head and the two men started walking around the camp slowly.

'A couple of days ago… you asked about Hermione not being my sister after all, you remember that right?' Harry tried to start and Ron nodded, his hands clasped on the small of his back as they kept walking around. 'Well you were right, she's not my sister, never was actually, but for the past months I have been having feelings for her,' Harry started and glanced at Ron to make sure he was alright, no red ears and stuff that signaled the Weasley temper rising. Ron only nodded his head and looked at Harry.

'I know, I've noticed,' Ron said after a long moment of silence.

'I have told her that I love her and she told me the same but she thinks this is not enough, I've been trying, mostly in instinct to show to her that it will have a happy ending…' Harry added and Ron looked at him surprised, after a moment he sighed.

'I never told her I love her, I mean I do, of course I do, but I never felt like saying it to her out loud when I was with her,' Ron said after a moment and Harry sighed, they both were feeling uncomfortable but they were both mature enough to keep things normal, they were supposed to be fine with the past.

'Look Ron, I know this is probably tough for you, I mean, I was there… the night of the locket, but I believe we're done with that part of our lives, we all moved on from that evil night, you're our friend and I wanted to inform you before things change drastically at any direction. I wanted you to know, not to be left out.' Harry said before the silence could stretch even more and Ron nodded and spoke.

'That night a lot of things went wrong, that was my greatest fear but it's not anymore, I mean… it wasn't just about you "taking" her, it was about her choosing someone, you, over me, even then, my greatest fear was about my insecurities, not her and by who's side she'd be happy. I was selfish and the locket saw that,' Ron said slowly and Harry tried not to stare at his friend and the way he spoken, it was happening every few years and this was one of those rare times when Ronald Weasley could open up and show that he was a bit mature.

'I'm glad we're fine with that,' Harry finally said and Ron nodded his head and gave a small smile.

'OK, look, since you've said things to each other, and since you indeed feel like that, I can't do more than tell you to search in her bedroom, in the cabinet of her nightstand for all the answers you need. I can't talk to her, she'll hex us both, me for getting in the way and you for revealing things to me. But I can tell you where to search as to see things that will help you make the next move, you need to have a clear picture of how things are right now so you can decide on how to work out the whole thing…' Ron said and Harry looked at him in curiosity.

'What's in her cabinet?' he asked, he could remember the cabinet of Hermione's nightstand, like he remembered the furniture in her bedroom and the rest of the flat.

'The answers you need, the things that will show you she has her reasons to be afraid…' Ron replied mysteriously and Harry sighed.

'Can we drop the enigmas?' Harry asked in a sigh and Ron nodded with a small smile.

'In the cabinet, there's a gift given by me, she truly needed it, believe me. I wouldn't be telling you about it if I wasn't sure you're good to go and see it. It's about time after all…' Ron only said, Harry was ready to actually snap at his friend for keeping up like that but a man from the team called out for the Keeper for the practice.

'Ok, I have to go now, don't use your name and profession to come back here, I think it's illegal and the last thing I need is my coach screaming at me about such stories in the Prophet. I have enough trouble as it is because of Lavender distracting me.' Ron said and Harry actually grinned and nodded his head before the redhead could pat Harry on the shoulder and move away. Harry was ready to move towards the opposite direction but Ron called Harry's name.

'Don't hurt her, no matter what, don't hurt her, she had enough,' Ron added and before Harry could respond in some way, the redhead rushed close to the man calling him for the practice. Harry felt his stomach dropping slightly; these were almost the same words Ron had spoken two days ago, why he was so afraid Harry would hurt Hermione? Was it because she loved him? Well, if it was that, she had the same power on him and so far had used it twice, first in Italy, after the kiss and then after his injury at the Burrow, two days ago…

Harry didn't waste another minute, checking his watch, he realized it was afternoon already and Hermione would probably have lunch with Ginny and then return to the flat for the rest of the day, she wanted it or not, Ginny had other things to do too than sheltering her friend from her fear of being close to Harry.

He returned to the flat, made sure she was still away, he put an alarm spell on the house in case she was back and he didn't hear her and sneaked inside the bedroom that belonged to her, all the while feeling like a thief for intruding her private space.

He glanced around at the familiar space, full of books, parchments, muggle and Wizarding pictures and he sat close to the nightstand, on the nicely made bed. He looked around once again, feeling guilty as the pictures of hers smiled at the room from the walls and her desktop.

Get on with it Potter, your curiosity is greater than any feeling of shame, anyway! The Harry-ish part of his head shouted inside his mind and he nodded to himself. He put his finger on the small knob of the cabinet and pulled but to his surprise, it didn't open even if it didn't have a lock, she had bewitched it. He frowned, took out his wand and pointed it at the small door.

'Alohomora!' Harry cast the spell and then pulled at the small door once again, it didn't open! 'Fuck this,' He muttered as he pointed his wand again. The small explosive charm made the door turn into fragments, he mentally noted to conjure one later, with a cleaning he cleaned up the dust and pieces of wood and he was finally able to see what the cabinet held inside: a pensive and memories in vials.

Harry hurried, fell on his knees before the nightstand and took out the small pensive, it was smaller than the one in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts but it was a good one. Harry had to dig his hand deep in the cabinet to take out the box that was in the back of it. He opened it and saw inside a lot of vials, he took out one and read the note on the small paper attached on the glass.

Good, 1994 achieving the summoning charm.

Harry smiled slightly, he remembered that time too, when he finally made it to cast the Accio, he took another.

Bad, 1992 the Basilisk Attack

She had sorted out her memories in good and bad ones, typical Hermione.

'The answers you need, the things that will show you she has her reasons to be afraid…' Ron's words echoed back in his mind so he kept looking through the vials to find something that would explain Ron's cryptic words.

Good, 1999 NEWTs results

Bad, 1997 sending Mom and Dad away

Good, 1991 the Hogwarts Letter Arrives

Bad, 1990 Primary school kids

Bad, 1996 the attack at Hogwarts

Bad, 1995 Recovery-Sirius' gone

Good, 1998 Australia

Bad, 1994 Voldemort returns

Good, 1999 entering Healer program

"- - -"

Harry stared at the vial with the simple dashes on. The rest of the vials he had checked were pretty clear on their meaning, most memories considered them and as far as he could remember, nothing extraordinary had happened back then to prove something new. But this vial's tag was almost blank, just two rushed dashes were on by Hermione's pen and Harry's instinct decided that this was probably what he was searching for. He put aside the box and the vials he had checked already on the mattress and he opened the vial with the unknown memory, let it fall in the pensive and as he remained on his knees, he put his head as close as possible to the pensive's surface until he felt the old sensation of being pulled inside a memory.

He found himself in the Chamber of Secrets, the last place he expected himself to see in Hermione's memory. He looked around him and saw the huge skeleton of the basilisk, as Ron and Hermione rushed inside the main chamber, it was in the night of the Hogwarts battle, four years ago.

'You have to stab it, don't wait for a moment, it's all it needs to see inside your heart, just kill it right away.' Ron was saying as he took one of the Basilisk's fangs and gave it to Hermione who took a shaky breath and nodded as Ron put the Cup of Hufflepuff on the floor between them as they knelt. Harry felt his heart racing as he remembered the drunken talk he had with Hermione, back on the second of May, where everything started, she hadn't answered his question about the cup.

The Horcrux had shook for a moment that Hermione wasted and the black smoke erupted from within, forming two figures, Harry and Hermione's dancing, like they had done back in the tent, when they were on their own. Both Hermione and Ron had remained watching the figures before Riddle- Harry's figure could look at the Hermione with the fang in her heart. He stopped the dance with the Riddle-Hermione and suddenly started chocking on black blood that soon was also running down his eyes and nose before he had spoken.

'I will never love you like you do; I will never realize what you've done for me, how can I be with you? When there are more beautiful women out there? I will never notice, I will never care and you will always be in my shadow, always crawling behind me. You realized things when you remained with me, but I won't remain with you, you're not good enough…'

'HERMIONE! KILL IT NOW!' Ron had bellowed and Hermione with tears in her eyes, had finally stabbed the Cup, causing the object and smoke to erupt in an explosion of black magic as a masculine voice was heard screaming in furry. After that the two had remained like that, looking at each other breathless before Ron had crawled close to her sobbing form.

'You're good enough for me, Hermione…' Ron had whispered as Hermione cried harder than ever Harry could remember her. His heart was pounding, this was her greatest fear, himself never noticing, never seeing before his nose.

'Vow you'll never say a word to him,' Hermione had told Ron as Harry pulled himself out of the memory as Ron was nodding his head and the two were standing up on their feet.

Harry was back on the floor of Hermione's bedroom a moment later. His eyes staring forward, his vision of the nightstand's top with a picture, a clock and a lamp held no importance as he finally saw what Ron knew and Luna guessed. Hermione had been in love with him ever since the war time, ever since the night Ron left if not even before that.

He finally saw the picture, she was afraid, she had sunk herself into oblivion of her feelings for the past years because he had been hurting her for so long, and now he was giving the wakeup call and frankly, she had every reason not to answer, she had been through a lot, she had tried to get over him, to move on, with Ron and the other blokes she had dated in the past, with her focus on her friendship with Harry, she had desperately tried to forget her love for him.

Harry felt like the biggest idiot for not seeing before, for not noticing and wondering, but on the other hand he knew, he had kept her away unconsciously as to save them both, that's what he thought as the best option for their survival, little had he known he had killed her inside.

He wished he had seen, he wished he had noticed the signs, he wished for a lot of things to be different as now, the fear she was feeling touched his own soul too. The slightest fault and he would indeed bring her to her knees for the final time. He wanted her, he loved her, he wanted to be with Hermione by his side, he wanted her there but her words made him feel guilty for all this.

'You're the most important person in my life, the person I have been revolving around for so long, and I had gotten used to be like that, because you're Harry, you're the— I have tried so hard to keep the balances, I have tried to be there for you no matter what. And now you're asking me to risk all that, you can't guarantee that we'll make it, it's only wishful thinking. You can't promise me we'll make it, you use your instinct, I use my brain and my brain says you can't guarantee that our friendship won't get screwed up, that I won't lose you.

' And I prefer to have you like that, like my fucking brother than having you not at all. You're too important to be jeopardized and that's both our fault, for letting it happen, for getting so deep in each other's lives, in each other's hearts, for becoming each other's parts. If I lose you, I won't be able to live and be the same, I made it without the rest, without my parents, without Ron, but I can't do it without you.'

He had pulled both of them in that sibling status and she had willingly stepped in it because she was too afraid, he couldn't imagine his life without her but she couldn't live without him either and she was right, two days ago: he could give no promise and no reassurance of making it as a couple, he could promise they'd try but he couldn't promise he wouldn't break her and now he knew, one more blow and she'd be done with it.

Ron had asked him not to hurt her, Luna had asked of him to fight for Hermione and Lunahad told him that she was fragile but right now Harry considered her side for the first time, she was trying to protect herself from him and what they could create together. They were both capable of great things if united but still, he couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't hurt her and that made him crawl as well. He always saw her as the strong figure in his life, the one to pull him through, his backbone, but right now he realized also that her only weak, pained side considered him and he was both the medicine and the illness.

As the fear of hurting her even more crept inside him, Harry wondered for the first time, would it be better for them not to get deeper? Would it be better for them to compromise and never move their relationship to the next level? Would they spare themselves the harm if they remained like that? Could he look at her now and see the sister he once thought he was seeing? Should he let her be? Should he stop thinking of a bright future because of the possibility of pain? The risk was huge and now he realized her struggling, parts of each other were at cost here, they were at cost here because neither of them could live away from the other. Hermione had thought she wasn't good enough for him but now he wondered the same thing about himself before her, was he good enough for her?

Was their love worthy such risk?

*runs away and locks herself in the wardrobe where none can find her* OUCH! the last thing we needed was him to have doubts! darn it! what u think will happen now guys? and what u think of the chapie? we had the cup scene revealed, i always like to use this scene, it's a gap JKR left (like others) that i love to turn into hhr even more and of course i couldn't let the hhr-dancing-movie scene go unnoticed here so i added it too through the locket, now we know why hermione refused, she's been trying to deny things for so long that now she's too afraid to grab for it all, what u think of the luna-harry scene? she's pretty honest and insightful i think and i agree with her word about healthy trees and their fruits, and what about the ron-harry scene? i like ron as a character to an extend and i think that if he's willing to TRY he can be bearable most of the time, if he puts his mind to work

awww ok i want to hear your opinion on this, harry now realized how hermione feels and he doesn't want to harm her more, will this stop them for good?

the deal is always on! reviews=update!

thank you so much for reading

CP09