The Unofficial Fanfiction University of Smash
Chapter 10: Class eight… Spiritual!
Disclaimer: I don't own my shoes. I don't own my toenails. I don't own my crappy English class. I don't own fanfiction or SSBM or SSMB or SSBB or a Nintendo Wii.
Gold stars:
You can have gold stars Razzkat! And whoever wrote Starkraft (Ryfry I think) can have gold stars! And Act II can have gold stars! Tealfrog, if he is even still alive, can have gold stars! Uhyeahitsteamdark can have gold stars! Knuckles Zidane Sora Link blah blah blah who's name is now JAESRKKRAJFLREJARLPWQK-san can have gold stars! Maku (who I don't even know if he will ever get into fanfiction) can have gold stars, but only a few! A Jew can have gold stars! Chipmunk X can have gold stars! I can have gold stars! Oh wait… recent information has revealed that I cannot have gold stars. Oh well…
Bloodhound Gang, they sing a song that parodies rap and video games and all kinds of cool things. I love them. Here's a small part of their best song EVER!
So I like to dance naked
In front of my pets
But my cat was out of town
So I sent him UPS
I play spin the bottle
With my mom
I… can't… go… on!
Yay!
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Jabba walked into his next class with a Koran.
"Glad to see you brought a Qu'ran!" the teacher, Young Link said. "Seeing as how this is a spiritual class and all"
"It's a KORAN!" Jabba yelled with anger.
"I've seen plenty of Korans before, and that's definitely a Qu'ran" Young Link replied.
"It's my Koran, I would know!" Jabba yelled.
"Why are you arguing about the Koran anyway? We all know the Bible is obviously better!" one person said holding up the Bible.
"He's right" Jabba said as he tossed the Koran into a fire.
"KILL THE INFADEL!" Young Link screamed in anger.
"AHH!" the person cried and ran away to the Netherlands, where he married twelve children and had a wife.
"EW!" the National British Investigation Squad screamed.
"Shut up you atheists!" the person screamed.
"'K" Young Link said as he was secretly an atheist.
"And that's the secret of life" Young Link said.
"What about bacon? I could have sworn bacon was involved somehow" Jabba said.
"Oh damn, I left the bacon part out again. Sorry, I'll try that again." Y. Link said as he left the classroom and soon came back wearing a bacon suit.
"HAHA!" The whole class yelled. The individual students didn't laugh, but the classroom laughed, in it's laughter it ate several of the individual students.
"I'm not an individual! I'm saved!" one student yelled in glee.
"You're not saved! You're a Catholic! We all know only Protestants can be saved!" Jabba screamed.
"How did you even know I'm a Catholic?" the student asked.
"Because I stalk you!" Jabba said with a wink.
"But that's a sin! You're going to hell!" the Catholic student yelld.
"No I'm not! Because I said I'm sorry!" Jabba said.
"He has a point!" Y. Link said while being gnawed on by several Buddhists.
"Get away from me! You're not supposed to eat meat!" Y. Link yelled.
"But we're hungry!" the Buddhists cried.
"You can have a bite if you read this!" Y. Link said handing them a Bible.
"You've spread Christianity! You're going to heaven!" several students yelled as the rest of the class just frowned upon this remark.
"He's not going to heaven! He's wearing a dress! That's cross-dressing! That gets you into hell!" one of the frowning students said.
"He's wearing a bacon suit your moron!" one of the happy students yelled.
"Well he wears a dress normally!" the frowning student yelled.
"It's a tunic!"
"Same thing!"
"Your mom!"
"Your dad!"
"Your bishop!"
"TAKE THAT BACK YOU HERETIC!"
"Guys guys… you're missing the point… Spiritual stories rarely touch on the point of WHAT religion is correct. Instead, they ask the question, 'is there really someone up there at all?'" Young Link said as several Muslims nodded in agreement.
"That's stupid! You're stupid! Spiritual stories should just be propaganda for or against a religion!" a nazi student yelled.
"Nazism isn't even a religion!" Y. Link yelled and slapped the nazi.
"OK fine…" the nazi said walking out slowly and sadly.
"I agree with what he said though, we need more propaganda!" Jabba said trying to get the students worked up. Sadly, many of them worked down instead, and several worked sideways.
"We don't care you anti-Christ!" the sideways students yelled.
"But I'm a Christian!" Jabba yelled.
"You're excommunicated!" the Pope, our cameo for the day, yelled.
"You can't excommunicate me from a religion you're not in!" Jabba yelled.
"No, but SHE CAN!" the Pope yelled and threw a car at Jabba.
A meteor came and carried the Pope away. It didn't kill him because nobody's feelings were allowed to be hurt. God said so.
"BUT GOD DOESN'T EXIST!" a Jamaican yelled.
"You offended someone!" God yelled and slapped the Jamaican with a lightning bolt. He then realized that what he had just done was offensive and slapped himself with a lightning bolt.
"If you could die you'd be dead right now!" Y. Link said pointing at God.
"How do you point at God? He's everywhere!" the mountain stream asked.
"GET BACK TO WORK!" Y. Link yelled pulling out some bondage equipment and threatening the mountain stream. It mumbled and went back to the mountain to do it's streaming.
"All you need to know about spiritual stories is that you will offend someone if you make it. People get really pissy really fast on this issue. Don't constantly remind them you're just joking though, that makes the story longer and the people who get offended won't care how long the warning is anyway" Y. Link said with a bow, this bow turned into a bow (the weapon) and he used this to fly off into the stars.
"How did he do that?" a Hindu asked.
"He's majik!" Kirby said as the people who didn't believe in majik popped Kirby with a piece of trampoline.
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Yay…
I'm tired and I have school to go to tomorrow… I hate school… I hate the kids in my classes and I hate almost every class. WAHH!
Oh well… I still probably get better grades than you, so I can still brag… YAHOO!
R&T… Read and Type