this is the one with the letter, for kaho. involves len's condition, a little. :] read and review again. please? :D
disclaimer: owns nothing. yadda. :]
1 month later. Same time as Chap. 8. :]]
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Kahoko's POV
It's hard to keep track of everything around you when your world is crumbling. It's as if life is being sucked out of you. Never in my life have I felt this empty. Hollow. Why did this even happen? He doesn't deserve this. He deserves a life.
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I was sitting on the arm chair beside Len's bed. He looks too frail. Needles and tubes are stuck in his body. Something is connected to the machine that monitors his heart. He slipped into coma 2 weeks ago, and all I did is sit here, watching and waiting him to wake up.
"Hey. I got the ultrasound results. We're having twins, a boy and a girl? Isn't it good? You know, I wish they are talented like you. I wish they look like you, especially the boy. I want them to be outgoing. I want them to enjoy their life with a happy and complete family. I want them to see both their parents at the end of the day, smiling because they both have lots of accomplishments.", I talked to him. I felt tears falling on my cheeks, but I didn't mind them.
"Maybe they are good musicians too. Talented and charming. I hope they'll find their happiness through music's help. Do you remember the times when we're still in high school, and everytime we passed on each other on the corridor you glare while I smile? Remember when I cut my hand then you got angry because it can greatly affect my playing? There's also a time you run to me on the practice rooms, and then you're sick. You grabbed my hand and leaned on my shoulder?", I kept on telling him the memories we've had, even though I'm unsure if he hears it.
"Remember when you left, then you gave me the necklace, hoping that we'll put the parts together? Like halves of a whole? You know the time you proposed the time you returned? Then there's the wedding. I never imagined I'll be your wife, Len. Your other half.", I was sobbing this time. These are the greatest memories we've had, and it's hard to relive it right now.
"You know what? I am surprised that I fit in your arms perfectly. When we held on each other's hands, I felt this surge of electricity. It may be funny, but it's the truth. I missed your touch, I missed your warmth, I missed your hugs. I missed your kisses every night. I miss everything about you. It's just hard to see you like this. I don't want to lose you, knowing there's no way I can fight for you.", I whispered while holding his hands. They're colder than usual.
As soon as I released his hand, the door opened. A nurse appeared, holding a white envelope.
"There's a letter for you here. I'll leave you now.", she said, smiling a little. She exited the room. I looked at the envelope and saw that it's addressed for me. I opened the letter, and read its contents.
Kaho.
I'm sorry for everything. I have been so selfish. I can't just tell you face to face what I've done. It's such a poor excuse; I've acted like a child, without caring what my actions are.
That day of the concert, you were the one who should be shot. I thought that if you won't be mine, then Len can't have you either. I thought that you're better dead. I'm sorry for making your life miserable.
I was the one who planned it all. I didn't expect my plans to backfire. I didn't know that Len would take the bullet for you. I know you notice him acting fast and strange at your back. I know he sensed something bad happening. I know he was about to push you down. I know that because I'm with the shooter,
Sorry for everything. I know this letter and my apologies won't be enough. I won't bother your life again.
Azuma
Azuma just confessed? I read the letter again, to absorb what it wants to say. It's really there. He said that he's the one responsible for this. My sadness, my loneliness, my pain, he's the one to blame.
I want to confront him and show him the anger I was hiding for a long time. I so badly want to hit him, to yell at him. I want to shout at him how miserable my life did become because of him. But I can't. I simply can't. There's no pain, even sadness and loneliness is a lost cause. I have become numb, as I let sleep wash over me. I need to rest and escape from reality. Maybe my own mind can shelter me from the horrors of this world.