thank you everyone for the reviews and alerts. Neville and Luna are so confused. I don't own any characters, just my imagination

Spring

Neville smiled at the girl next to him. She was chatting up a storm, talking about the class she had just attended before they both left to return to his home, her family and the next time they would see them, how excited she was to meet his mom.

"Oh gosh, it does seem like a long time since you've come back!"

"About a month or two."

"It'll be nice to see your mom."

"Yes, it will be."

"It's a shame I won't have a chance to meet your dad."

Neville didn't answer, he didn't want to get into the fact that his dad had to go to the hospital for a complete mental breakdown, spending the last two months in a psychiatric ward. Not many people knew about it. Actually only his family knew that he was aware. Don't know if keep this or not in next chapter details

He took her hand, noting that it was sturdy and firm, capable of dealing with any task.

"You really should use moisturizer Neville, the work you've been doing is really wrecking them."

Practical as always.

Neville turned his car into the driveway, waving at his mom from the window. He opened the car door, striding up to her, hugging her. He turned to the girl that came up beside him.

"Mom, this is Hannah.

"Hello Hannah, it's nice to meet one of my son's friends. Are you studying plants as well?"

"Oh no, I could never get my head wrapped around such things. I'm studying psychology right now but I may switch to hotel management. Hospitality. Stuff like that."

His mother smiled absent-mindedly, going back into the house, Neville and Hannah following her.

"Are you planning to stay here?"

"No mom, I talked to Ginny beforehand, Hannah's staying over there for the weekend. Ron's out of town and she's going to stay in his bedroom."

"That's nice. I would have liked you to stay here but…" his mom's voice trailed off, Neville watching her anxiously. Hannah was moving around the room, looking at pictures, at books sitting on the shelves. He wanted to tell her to stand still but didn't dare, didn't want to draw attention to the fact that his mom was feeling a little nervous about his bringing someone home to meet her.

"Luna was asking for you before Neville, she's going to be at Harry's house tonight, there's some kind of party. I think Harry got some kind of early acceptance to another college. She wanted to know if you were coming over tonight."

"Good for Harry." Neville replied sarcastically. He didn't want to think about him, didn't even want to comprehend the idea that Luna might be leaving with him. Without Neville.

"Who's Luna?"

Neville didn't answer Hannah, not wanting to go into it. Not wanting to say that Luna was the woman he wanted more than anything in the world but couldn't have. Was afraid to have, because he couldn't control his emotions when he was around her. And the only thing he had these past years was the ability to control himself. That may not go well with Hannah, or any woman knowing that she may be only second best. He had spent the better part of three months trying not to think about her, not coming back home to face her.

"She's our next door neighbor, she and Neville have been friends since she moved in."

"Oh that's nice. I would like to meet her."

Right. Neville wondered how he could get out of going to this party tonight.

"I've got to go upstairs, grab some stuff."

Neville bounded up the steps, to his room. He looked out his window towards Luna's room but there wasn't anyone in there. He sat on his bed, thinking about the last conversation he had with Ginny, about a month ago. He had finished up some research at the college, than contacted her house to congratulate Ron who had asked Hermione to marry him. Ginny was happy to hear from him but was distracted, a little upset. She talked about all their friends, not mentioning Luna once. Finally, Neville said something.

"So, uh, have you seen Luna? And Harry I mean?"

"Yes, I have." Silence.

Neville was getting nervous, was about to say something when Ginny continued.

"Neville, I know that you were kind of close to Luna before she started dating Harry." This was not going to go well.

"I wanted to tell you that Harry is kind of thinking about asking Luna to marry him." The earth dropped from under his feet. Neville felt his knees give out, actually felt himself going down to the floor, almost dropping the phone.

His Luna was going to marry someone else? His Luna? Ginny continued talking, not aware that Neville was dying inside.

"I'm a little disappointed too. I mean, I'm really happy that Harry has found someone he could love and I really like Luna but I always kind of thought that Harry and I got along really well together, and that maybe, you know…" Ginny trailed off.

Neville had gently hung up the phone, than gone down the hallway into the restroom. He threw up in a stall, retching, heaving. He felt clammy, dizzy. He leaned against the wall, wanting to lie down on the floor, wanting to die. He stayed in the stall for over twenty minutes, unable to move, unable to physically get himself back up. He went to the sink, splashed water on his face, catching sight of himself in the mirror, his reflection showing a pale, unshaven mess. Why would Luna want someone like him with nothing to offer? He was drunk at Christmas, she must have known it. He thought of her mouth on his. Of her sitting in his lap, of him cupping her breasts, the look on her face when he dared to see her reaction to him. He closed his eyes, knocking his head against the mirror several times.

He had walked out of the lab that day and gone to his apartment, thinking about what Ginny had told him. Several times he had picked up the phone, ready to call her, ready to beg her to rethink her decision, whatever it was. But he didn't, he just lay there, all night, not sleeping, going over his mistakes. He never went to see her after that night at Christmas, never called her. Never wrote to her even though she had sent him several letters, the first two asking about him, the last one basically just a postcard, saying that she was doing okay. He wanted to tell her about his parents, talk to her like they did when they first met, tell her that he missed her every day, that he longed for her, lusted after her. Wished she were with him.

The next day, as he was walking to his lab, he saw Hannah across the campus park and had caught up with her.

"Hey Hannah, I haven't seen you since we left each other for the holidays."

"Oh hi Neville! That's right, I wanted to tell you that only three people talked about how my life would be vastly improved with someone in it." She replied with a smile, tossing her hair back.

Neville smiled back, realizing that she was very easy to talk with and that there wasn't any reason for him not to ask her out. So he did, arranging to meet her for a drink then dinner. That date led to another and another and a week later, they were kissing outside her door. Neville trying very hard not to compare her to Luna. After a little while, it got easier. He found himself looking forward to seeing her after classes, for dinners.

He had spoken with Ginny a few times, mentioning Hannah to her, wondering if she was going to tell Luna about his dating. The letters stopped arriving from her so he assumed that she knew, was busy planning her new life with Harry.

She's probably going to be better off with him, Neville thought as he stared at her window. He doesn't have any family so there wouldn't be any problems like what was happening with his father. Losing the stores, having to commit himself so that he could get a grip on his mental health. His mother and grandmother fighting over the family finances, worries about whether or not his father would be coming out any time soon. Luna didn't need that, she had enough problems. She was on her own pretty much already, she needed someone like Harry to take care of her. Neville closed his eyes, feeling his stomach clench, thinking about Luna with Harry, in bed, his mouth on her, Luna telling him how much she loved him. Fuck. Fuck.

Neville found himself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of his mother and Hannah laughing downstairs. Well, if she's going to be with Harry, there's no reason for me not to be with Hannah. She was easy to be with, no emotional strain with her. And she was pretty, with her smile and hair. It sounded like his mother got along with her well enough too. Besides, he couldn't exactly face Luna right now, not after having avoided her all this time, after not talking to her for months.

The phone rang and he picked it up.

"Hello."

"Hi Neville, when are you coming over?"

"Soon Ginny. Hannah's down here talking with my mom."

"Well, a few of us are going to the bar, why don't you meet us there? That way everyone can meet Hannah too."

"Uh, okay I guess."

He went back downstairs, Hannah sitting there at the kitchen table, like Luna did that first day. His mother was listening to her talking. Neville didn't say a word until she stopped.

"Hannah, Ginny wants us to go out to meet her, meet a few friends of ours."

"Oh that would be great! Right now?"

"Sure, why not."

His mother watched as Hannah left, Neville hesitating behind her. She knew that this girl wasn't for her son. That he was still struggling with his feelings for Luna. But she let them go, thinking that maybe it was for the best. Neville had enough to worry about without having to deal with his own conflicting emotions.