"Something's under my skin. Something's very strange, playing with my mind, tempting me to do you in" -Black Curtains; Megadeth
Day 10
Sleep isn't an option anymore. Lying in the dark staring at the ceiling is. Holding himself tightly, fingers digging into his skin, jaw clenched tight. It's not that he feels tired, he doesn't, but Alex is scared to even think about closing his eyes for a moment. He doesn't feel strong enough to keep himself conscious, to keep himself in control and at the forefront of their mind. He's still reeling from yesterday's events, Blacklight still somewhere in the back of their mind sleeping it all off. That or, just being incredibly quiet…
…
…
Probably asleep then. Worrying and relieving at the same time. Worrying because Blacklight always had some choice words to say to him, but relieving because he doesn't have to hear any of it. Alex isn't sure he even wants Blacklight active right now anyway. Or even ever again. Or maybe just until he calms down and stops tearing the small shreds that was Alex Mercer into smaller pieces. Or maybe there wasn't anything left to tear up and Blacklight was just being merciful before he went in for the final kill (ha, merciful).
How long did it normally take? For a virus to assume complete control, and destroy its host? And long until it became the host? But for long until it spread to something else? He should know these things, Alex realizes. He made the damn thing, he should know how it works, and what it will do, what it can do. So far everything had gone horribly according to plan, and then some. He should know how his own creation works.
So why can't he think up what it can and can't do? Why can he think about it, but not think about it? It's an uncomfortable feeling, and without realizing it, he whines in utter distress.
"Alex" Desmond suddenly murmuers. The bed dips slightly as Desmond rolls over, and Alex, even with the dim lighting, can see Desmond's eyes creak open ever so slightly. "Go to sleep" Desmond mumbles, eyes sliding back shut.
"I'm sorry" Alex apologizes, knowing full well there's nothing he can do about it, knowing arguing with a sleepy Desmond won't get him much. Arguing at all won't get them anything. Just the thought of that is enough to deter him from attempting it. Desmond half sighs, half yawns, and suddenly his arm is reaching out to Alex.
"C'mere" Desmond mumbles, and without hesitation, Alex scoots over to be wrapped up in Desmond's arm. He squirms all the over until his face is pressed against Desmond's chest. Desmond falls back asleep within moments, with Alex remembering a scene so achingly familiar to this.
("Aleeeex"
"Go back to bed, Dana"
"I can't! There's a monster under it!"
"They're not real. Go back to bed"
"Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Dana…"
"Pleaaaase?"
"…Fine. Come here")
Was that how his sister used to feel? Like some invisible, intangible force was preventing her from something? And that only her big brother could stop it? Alex's monster he could not see nor touch, but his monster was oh so very real, hiding not under the bed but in the forefront of his mind. His older brother, his protector, no brother but someone he held dear and relied on to keep him safe...
As safe as he could be kept when the only danger here was himself. Alex didn't want to dwell on that, didn't want to plant any ideas in his shared mind for a certain virus to see and twist and pull at. Perhaps clearing his mind is better. The only way he finds to do so, is just sit and listen. So close to Desmond, he can hear everything. Every time a muscle twitches, his breathing, the beating of his heart, the rush of his blood. If Alex stays still, his hand pressed against his friend, he can feel everything.
It's soothing, it's calming, and it's comforting. It feels utterly relieving. He could spend forever right there. Hell, maybe he would just fall asleep right then and there, so safe, so secure. It was almost too bad Blacklight wasn't awake, he'd kill for a moment like this-
He'd kill for a moment like this.
Calm and comforting feelings are all gone. Without a sound and with little disturbance, Alex slips out of the bed and away from Desmond. As far away as possible. He snatches up a tablet from the table to go sit in the corner of the room, and waits. The wait is agonizing, he can't make time go faster. He turns on the tablet, and gets to work. Time. It's only a matter of time before Blacklight wakes up, fully recharged and ready to roll.
Stupid, Alex feels so stupid. It was right there in front of his face the entire time. Was he just so far removed from his own ambitions that he didn't see this? Or was the wool pulled over his eyes early on and it was just now he caught it. Scared, he also feels scared. Scared is an emotion he rarely feels, but it's not himself he's scared for. It's Desmond. It's always been Desmond. Desmond fucking Miles. Everyone wanted him. Alex had wanted him, at some point. The perfect test subject, the best samples, the best everything. Desmond was a good assistant, worming some sort of friendship out of him. Alex never thought about him that way though.
But Blacklight did.
Time still wasn't going fast enough. The more Alex typed and typed and typed, the faster time seemed to go, but it wasn't enough. When would anyone be awake? Who would be the first to get to their computer and get online? Who could he tell first?
(Talk?Sincewhendoyouwannatalk?Youneverhavetimetotalk, 'slikeIdon'tevenexisttoyouanymore)
No.
Alex has to clench his jaw tight, has to curl into himself as the memories come flooding in, his sister's harsh voice echoing in his ears. Now is not the time for that.
(Let'sfaceitwedon' 'rebothsobusy,it'llbebetterthiswayforthebothofus)
No, no it won't, it never got better for the both of them. She never came back. Not to him. Those memories too, Karen's soft voice, that sad look on her face, how her hand was tight around the doorknob. Ready to run, to sprint, to just leave him. It's the trigger that opens the floodgates. Everything comes pouring back in. It's a little easier to deal with, the second time around. It's less shocking, but still just as painful.
Alex was finally able to somewhat snap back into reality when the lights began to brighten considerably. Everything in his mind fades to a blur, just white noise, and he scrambles for the tablet he dropped some time during his memory flooding. Focus is something he can't seem to do, between blurring vision and the static in his head, Alex is agonizingly slow to open up a chat with someone on the company's system.
"Hey, Alex!"
His head snaps up to blink in confusion at his roommate. Desmond is awake, standing, about ready to head to the bathroom. Desmond just sorta stares at him, makes a face, and goes about his business. "Never mind, you look busy being insane" Desmond calls out over his shoulder. Busy being insane. Oh how right he was.
"I'm trying to save you, idiot" Alex mutters to himself.
Save him from what?
"You" Alex snarls, carefully scrolling through his contacts list.
What about me?
"It's over"
What's over?
"Everything"
x-X-X-x
TwinDragons began chatting with StillHere
TD: lucy its o ver
TD: Im calin g it
TD: experiment complet
TD: infction sucsess
TD: op en door
TD: now
SH: Alex what's going on?
SH: What do you mean it's over? We haven't talked to Vidic about it yet.
TD: desmnd is gonna die
TD: blcklight gonna consme him
SH: How do you know?
TwinDragons is typing
TwinDragons is typing
SH: Alex?
TD: Dr. Mercer isn't in right now. But if you'd like to make an appointment, I'd be happy to help you
TD: never
TwinDragons has ceased chatting with StillHere
SH: ALEX
x-X-X-x
He's violently ripped away from himself. It's almost as if there was a phantom hand on his shoulder and he's being pulled back. And he gets to watch, as his body comes to life without him. Alex gets to watch, his hands clench the tablet tight, and suddenly snap it in half and toss it aside. Alex gets to watch, his body stand, and move on its own accord. He gets to watch himself not be in control.
"This is what happens" his voice says to an empty room. "When I leave you be for a couple hours. You suddenly turn against me"
"This isn't what you were for!" Alex roars. "We never agreed to this!"
"Change of plan. Sorry doc, but I can't let him get away, Not when he's right here" Blacklight replies back, and Alex can feel that mad grin on his face. "What did you expect me to do? The most desirable sack of blood…Sack of DNA in the whole company. Locked in a room. With me. You've forgotten my true purpose, Doctor"
"Your purpose was not to kill him!"
"My purpose was to consume, assume, replicate, and create. Just think of what I could do with him. All that genetic memory, I'd be unstoppable, don't you think?"
"Think what?"
Their attention snaps to a freshly showered Desmond Miles, all dressed for the day. He flinches when they turn around so quickly, and gives them a worried look. "Uh, Alex? You feelin okay buddy?"
The mad grin only grows wider.
"Oh Dessykins~"
Alex watches Desmond's eyes grow impossibly wide, and his face pale considerably.
"Wanna do a science experiment?"
March 13th, Happy Birthday to the one and only Desmond Miles! I managed to get this chapter done just in time for him!
Only two more chapters to go, folks!