Reality vs Nightmares: What's worse?

Another nightmare. They hadn't stopped at all. Ever since the fifth month of Logan's pregnancy I had them every single night. It was driving me crazy. Only two weeks left until the c-section and nothing has happened so far. The media was oblivious to the fact that Logan seemed to have disappeared from the street and didn't bother us at us apartment. The baby was doing amazing. Weight, length, organs, everything was good and now his or her lungs were ripe too, he or she is totally ready to be born. We were ready for the baby's arrival. I desperately wanted to see him or her, I was a little tired of waiting. In more than one way. Logan was doing great. No pain, no problems, no illness. Except for the little things that came with pregnancy. Like a weak bladder. The baby bump still wasn't exactly big, but it was bigger than I'd ever seen Logan and I missed his little form against mine in bed at night. But besides that everything was fine.

Then why did I have the feeling I missed something? That I should have seen something that I clearly hadn't? Something was about to happen and it was not something I was going to like. Logan thought I was being paranoid and ensured me everything was fine. James and Carlos were just as naïve, but then again, they didn't have my nightmares.

I was lying awake once again. Nothing new. This always happened after a nightmare, which was every day. Logan was still peacefully sleeping. His head on my chest, baby on my side and his back leaning on my now numb arm. I didn't really care about it, as long as it helped him sleep I was fine with everything.

Today's nightmare had been different. Normally I would ran through the woods and find Logan already dead, but tonight I reached him and I literally saw him breathing out his last air. It had been hell. I'd been so close to saving him and then I just saw him die before my eyes. Only a minute too late.

I almost had a heart attack when Logan suddenly opened his eyes. "Hey"

"Hi, sweetie" I was about to lean down and kiss him when he pulled a face.

"Hold that thought. Gotta pee" He quickly got up and I watched how he walked to the bathroom with his back a little hollow, stomach proudly in front of him. I waited patiently, but then I heard retching noises. Quickly getting up, I tangled my feet and fell flat on the floor. It would have been quite funny for anyone else to watch, but my chin really hurt now. I rubbed it and then remembered why I wanted to get out of bed so desperately. I ran into the bathroom and saw him sitting against the wall next to the toilet, face pale and sweat glistering on his forehead.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly while I kneeled in front of him and felt his forehead, that was definitely burning up. I saw flashes of my nightmare in my head, but I quickly shook them off. Just a fever, Kendall. He won't go up in flames.

"No" He said simply. I gave him water and toilet paper to clean his mouth.

"Stupid question, of course. Come on, let's get you back in bed" I helped him up and hold him close while I guided him back and into bed. "Try to get some more sleep. I'm going to get you another blanket, okay?"

He nodded, his eyes closed and lips in a thin line. Another image from an earlier nightmare, Logan's head next to a guillotine. Nothing is going to happen, calm down…

I quickly went to our kitchen and put up some water to boil for a hot-water bottle and to make tea. I went to the bathroom again to find some painkillers and then to the walk in closet at the end of the hall to get blanket. Gathering all my stuff for Logan, I went back to our bedroom. He was curled up –as far as that was possible- and had the sheets pulled up to over his head. I was a little hesitant when gave him the hottie. He can't drown in that little water, you idiot…

"Stay with me?" I heard him ask, his voice muffled from under all the covers.

"Of course" I slit down next to him and he pressed his back against my chest. He felt incredibly hot, but was still shivering. It took a while until he didn't do that anymore and it took even longer before he fell asleep, but eventually it happened. I was trying to stay calm, but on the inside I was freaking out. What the hell was happening? He was fine yesterday, how could he get ill this quickly? Why did my fucking nightmare change tonight? Stop being paranoid, Logan being sick doesn't have anything to do with your nightmares…

I stayed with Logan until I heard my cell phone ringing in the living room. I ran and was just in time to pick it up.

-Kendall! Where the hell are you! You were supposed to be here half an hour ago!- Yelled James through the phone. I forgot that, James, Carlos and I had to go to Rocque Records to arrange some things with Gustavo.

"I forgot! But I can't come, Logan is sick"

-Tough luck, buddy. You've to, you need to sign some things-

"Hold on, I'll call mom to ask if she can keep an eye on him for a few hours"

She could and I texted James I would be there in thirty minutes. I pulled on some clothes and didn't bother doing my hair, since this would only be a quick visit. I didn't want to be away from Logan now. Not when he was ill and definitely not when he was ill and pregnant. I kneeled next to the bed and stroked his cheek softly to wake him up.

"Logie, I've to go to Rocque Records to sign some things for the band and everything. Mom will be here in twenty minutes or so and I'll be back as soon as possible" I whispered when he opened his eyes a little.

"That's okay. I'll survive" He had no idea he said the absolute wrong thing. Flashes of my nightmare once again found his way into my conscious mind.

I got up and leaned down to kiss him softly. "I love you"

"I love you too" He said tiredly, his voice sounded weak. I stroked his face a last time before turning around and walking out of the apartment. I left the key under the plant in front of our door, where I told my mom she could find it. I got up and for a minute I thought I saw something –or someone- quickly disappearing into the staircase, but when I went to investigate it there was nothing to be seen. I already had a bad feeling about this, but it became worse now. This somehow didn't feel right. I shouldn't be going away from Logan, but I had to do this too. Every step I took away from him felt heavier then the one before, but I shook it off as nothing.

Twenty minutes later I reached Rocque Records, but you could immediately see something wasn't right. The building was closed. How strange…

And then it hit me. The building was closed. That meant there was no one inside. If there was nobody inside, I couldn't sign anything. Heck, I couldn't even come in! That meant I wasn't supposed to be here. This had been a trap. Logan.

I turned the car as quick as possible and raced back to the Palm Woods, knowing I would probably to late already. Finally, the thing I'd been waiting for happened. The thing I feared most. I couldn't stop the images of my nightmares that clouded my mind anymore. The tortures thought that had hunted me ever since I woke up that morning were making me drive even faster. Back to the one person I never should have left.

I made the twenty minutes drive in ten minutes and didn't bother parking the car properly. I pulled into the parking lot for taxis right at the front door and ran inside, not minding the other people walking in the lobby. I wasn't patient enough to wait for the elevator and took the stairs instead. Taking two at a time. Luckily for me it was only one floor up to our new apartment. My mom was standing by the door, taking her time to get the spare key from under the plant.

"Kendall! Honey I thought you'd to go to Rocque Records! What's-" I snatched the key from her hands and pushed her aside roughly, ignoring the indignant 'Kendall!'. I would apologize to her once I found Logan safe in his bed. I opened the door and ran to our room immediately. Empty.

"No…" I whispered. "No. No! NO!" Tears were rolling down my face while I looked at the place where Logan should've been lying.

"Kendall, I think you should see this" Mom's voice sounded hesitantly, as if she preferred not telling me anything. I made my way back into the kitchen and saw her standing at the table, looking down at a note I'd failed to see earlier. When she looked up at me I saw tears in her eyes too. I didn't want to read the words, afraid of what they would say. 'I took Logan and I'm going to kill him' or 'kidnapped Logan' or 'going to rape him'. But it was none of that. No one 'kidnapped' Logan. He left himself.

Dear James, Carlos and Kendhall,
This mey be alll of a sudden. But this
is the pest thing I could do. J was just
a fetter that loves to make a
puzzle every once in a while...
I love you, Logan

This is the worst chapter ever written. I swear I won't blame you if you stop reading my story after this. It ended in a cliffhanger and now I'm going to Paris, I'm so mean. I didn't even give you a good last chapter! One last thing, what does the note really say? It's definitely not what it looks like. Even if this was crappy; please review? I want to know what you think even if this was bad!