As they were eating, they were trying to keep the conversation casual, hoping not to get on more touchy subjects like earlier, when Doofenshmirtz mentioned movies.
"Soo.. Hey have you ever seen uh.. what was it?", he snapped his fingers trying to remember. "Vanessa liked to watch it.. Something about a bloody hand and a mass murderer or whatever. Some horror flick she and her friends like to watch when they hang out."
"Uh.. No..", Perry said wondering why Doofenshmirtz would even ask him something like that. "I've actually never seen horror flicks before."
"REALLY!", Doof was surprised and thought for a moment he'd choke on the french fries. "But you're Perry the Platypus! Suave and daring secret agent. I thought for sure you've seen horror flicks."
Perry shrugged.
"Well it's not like the Organization really holds movie-nights or anything."
"Oh man! You have GOT to at least watch the classics! You'll love them, Perry. I'm sure of it!"
"Sure sure but uh.. They don't ALL involve bloody hands, right?"
"Well one or two, but they vary a bit. Vampires. Zombies. Mass murders and haunting ghosts. Suicides. It's really fun sometimes."
Perry slumped a bit with the thought. His stomach flipped a little.
"Ehh.. I'm starting to question human beings' terms of 'fun'..."
"No I mean it's fun to get scared watching it. It's like you should videotape yourself watching it so you can go back and laugh at how scared you got over watching a movie!", he chuckled.
Perry only shrugged again.
"Well.. I'll give it a shot I guess."
They finished up and headed back. At the mention of the selection of movies, Norm decided to go to bed early which only pushed Perry's worry even more. Doofenshmirtz went and came back soon with a pile of DVDs that he sat ontop of the TV while he put one in.
"You mean to tell me you've never watched a horror film before?", Doof asked as they sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a case of soda cans.
"Not unless you count Henry Pendragon as a horror flick.", he said with a shrug. "The kids are too young for the stuff and I'm normally too tired after kicking your butt all day long to stay up and watch any."
"Well then Perry, prepare yourself for the thrill of a life-time!", Doof said excitedly. "I've got 'The Killing', 'What did you do last Friday', 'Gore and-'..." he trailed off, feeling uncomfortable of the next word. "'...Love'..., 'Zombie Apocolypse 1-5'," Perry raised his eyebrows, surprised at the amount of films he's listing. "'Rise of the Dead', 'Small store of terror', '3013', and 'Freak'!"
"Wow. That's a LOOOT of movies for one night."
"That's why we're starting this at 6 instead of at 9.", he explained.
"And you're sure none of this is going to make you wet the bed?", Perry asked with a chuckle as Doofenshmirtz's face became slightly pink.
"I'm a man. Not a schnitzle.", he muttered more to himself than to Perry. "Besides, it's not like I haven't seen these movies before."
"When did you last watch them?"
"Uh...", he flashed back to when he was 20 and finally living on his own for the first time and how he was so scared he threw all his horror films into the freezer until this very night. "...Not to long ago."
Perry shrugged again and Doof started the movie. The two watched in anticipation for a while. Some time later on in the marathon, Perry had moved himself to the floor, watching with wide eyes at the scene in the movie as Doofenshmirtz felt his stomach flip for the hundredth time.
"I thought you said you loved me!", a woman on TV screamed.
"I do love you... Love your blood that is...", a man replied coyly.
Moments later the horrors were still going on and by now Doofenshmirtz's skin was pale, clamy, and covered in cold sweat as he shifted uncomfortably again in his seat while Perry opened another can of soda to drink with a wide smile on his face from the excitement in the movie. When the films were finally through with and the refreshments were gone, Doofenshmirtz was seriously considering the thought of throwing the DVDs into a freezer again while Perry stood up with a stretch.
"Wow! That was amazing!", Perry said, completely unaffected by the massive gore and death within the movies. "Thanks for sharing them with me, Heinz."
"N-n-no problem...", he said as he stood up, shaking from head to toe.
"You okay? You look pretty pale."
"I-I'm fine. Yeah. You know it's- ppft! I-I wasn't scared or anything."
Perry shrugged.
"Well anyway..", he saw the clock on the wall. "Oh geez, it's 11:45 already. Man weren't you right about starting early? Well guess we should call it a night."
"Uh.. Y-yeah.. Night Perry.", Doof said, hoping to hide his paranoia as he headed out the room.
"Night. And hey,", Doof turned around, waiting for what Perry was going to say next. Perry only smiled from ear to ear. "better not let those zombies get in."
He laughed some and Heinz faked a chuckle but quickly headed out of the room, trying to forget about the undead. He got dressed for bed, telling himself again and again that the movies weren't real and that there wasn't any mass murderers or vampires or undead that was out trying to kill him. He got into bed and turned out the light, but unfortunately found himself unable to sleep as fear only continued to tear away at him.
'...Darn it why did I show him those movies?', he thought miserably to himself.
He tossed and turned about, trying all of what few comforting memories he had to calm him down and every way imaginable to reason with reality of the impossibility of zombies opening doors and gnawing on his flesh. The clock on his bedside table only ticked away the time and before Dr. D really knew it, it had struck 3 and still not a wink of sleep. Even on the floor. He sighed, remembering the times that he was scared when he was little and how he would hold onto his pet cockroach or a stuffed animal he made for himself. A pillow, something to hold onto for safety. He remembered the last few nights when Perry was asleep next to him and how Perry would hold onto him like that and then something occoured to him.
'Hey, where's Perry?', he thought to himself.
He knew it would be rather low, embarrassing, and creepy as all get out for Heinz to want to sleep with Perry for the night, but he knew he hadn't tried everything to get some sleep and besides, Perry would've normally climbed in by now anyway. He got dressed and came out of the bedroom, looking down the darkened hallway, not hearing a single noise. Almost spooky for the DEI to be like this, but he shrugged it off knowing the movies were worse. He tiptoed down the hall, still pondering why Perry wasn't walking around yet. When he came to the lower levels via elevator he heard a rustling noise down the hall opposite of where Perry was sleeping. He looked down, unsure of what could be moving around at this time of night if not Perry. He thought for a moment about just shrugging it off, allowing himself to think it was his mind playing tricks on him when there was a loud thud and he knew it wasn't imaginary. Heinz crept down the hall, his curiosity growing by the minute. When he was at arm's length of the door it suddenly crashed open with a body falling out on it. Doof yelped and jumped back in surprise but when he turned on the hallway light and saw it was Perry and that everything was alright, he relaxed some and chuckled a bit.
"Oh good! I was just coming to look for you, Perry!", he said.
Perry stood up, unresponsive to what Doofenshmirtz said and lifted his head up with a glassy look in his narrowed eyes. He pulled something out of his pocket and Heinz was a bit surprised to find it was his ray gun.
"Perry? Wh-what are you..?"
"You stole her.. You stole my wife.", Perry said, his voice somewhat menacing.
"Your wife?", Doof asked, unsure of what Perry was saying.
"Don't lie to me! I saw you two making out!", Perry yelled throwing Doof more and more into confusion.
"W-wait! P-Perry the-!"
Before he could say another word, Perry pulled the trigger on the gun. The laser fortunately missed Doof's head as he jumped to the side.
"WHOA! Perry the Platypus what's gotten into you!", he screamed in terror.
Perry didn't respond but continued to blast away, trying to hit Heinz in the head. Doof began to run away with Perry chasing after him not very far behind.
"P-Perry I swear! I don't know what you're talking about!"
"Come back here you-!"
"Perry I didn't even know you had a wife!"
He finally turned a corner, pressing himself against the wall, panting hard from the chase scene. He held his breath as Perry's footsteps came closer and closer. Perry finally turned the corner and for a moment, Doofenshmirtz shut his eyes, afraid that he was a goner when he heard Perry snore. He looked at the man who stood there for a moment, snoring with his eyes closed and head hung.
'...He's sleepwalking?', he thought to himself. 'Maybe I should scoot now.'
Doofenshmirtz began to edge away when the ray gun dropped from Perry and blasted once more hitting Doofenshmirtz square in the backside.
"OW!", he yelped as he began to scurry off to the bathroom.
Moments later, Doofenshmritz was wondering around the DEI, unsure of where Perry is now that he's out. His heart pounded as he remembered Perry's sudden behavior in the hallway.
'It's like he doesn't even remember who I was.', he thought to himself. 'I never heard of Perry having a wife and why on earth would I steal her from him? Really now. But there's something familiar to what he was saying. Where did I...?'
It suddenly came back to him. The horror movies. One of the scenes was with a man who was going to kill another dude for making out with his wife.
"He's horror-movie-walking!", Doof exclaimed in sudden realization.
He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and he froze with fear as a light australian accented voice whispered into his ear.
"'Hello delicious...'", Perry quoted.
Doof yelped and backed away quickly, turning around as he did so.
"P-Perry the Platyhuman you need to wake up! NOW!", he said, backing up as Perry came closer. "Y-You're only dreaming about vampires! You're not really one!"
Perry suddenly pounced on Doof, not only pinning him to the floor but also biting on his neck which caused him to both blush and cry out in pain.
"OW! C-come on Perry! You gotta wake up! Darn it why can't you have just crawled into bed?", he said flailing about, unsure of really how to feel at this point.
Perry paid no attention but went on dreaming and Doofenshmirtz could tell he was in for a long night. The next morning Perry stretched out on the couch and smacked his lips as he woke up. He finally let go of the throw pillow he was hugging and sat up, scratching the back of his head a bit.
'Man, did I sleep good.', he thought happily to himself. 'Wonder how I got on the couch though.. Oh well.'
He walked out into the kitchen where he saw pots and pans and cups and other various things strewn about the room and looked around in some surprise.
"Dr. D?", he asked looking around. 'Who did this?'
He heard a small noise and turned to the direction of its location. After a moment of following it, he found it being a rattling noise and soon came upon a closet where it emitted from. Perry paused for a moment but then decided to open the closet only to find Doofenshmirtz tumbling out of it with torn clothes, bright red scabs, bruises, and a black eye. His lab coat was missing as well.
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz?", Perry exclaimed as Doof picked himself up with a cough.
Doof's head instantly flew up at the sound of Perry's voice and he yelped, turning around to face Perry, scooting back on the floor.
"G-G-Get back!", he stammered, his voice higher than normal and full of fear.
"Heinz, it's me, Perry.", he said unsure of what's going on.
"ARE you?"
"Yes! And to prove it, I know you have boxers with my platypus face on them."
Doofenshmirtz forgot to blush but instead stood up, his blood boiling with building rage.
"That's the LAST time I show YOU horror flicks!", he said.
"What?", Perry said, completely dumbfounded.
"Perry, you know how you sleep walk at night?", Doof said, wiping up a little blood from his chin.
"Yeah?"
"Well let's say that I will NEVER use the Turn-Everything-Evilinator on you! I swear on it!", he explained.
Perry's eyes widened a bit, surprised at the news.
"What? Y-You mean that I..?", he asked, pointing at himself. Doof only nodded and Perry's eyes became even wider. "Oh man..."
"You almost KILLED me last night with the kitchen knives and then threw me into the closet and of course I wasn't going to come out with you on the loose!"
"Wow... Geez, I'm sorry. I-I didn't know.", Perry shrugged helplessly.
"It's alright but if you do it again, I'm tossing you outside."
"Fair enough. I...", he shook his head, trying to understand this. "Really?"
"YES.", Doof nodded.
"Sorry..."
Perry noticed small red rash-like marks on Doof's neck and his eyes widened a bit with horror.
"Uh... Doof? A-are those...?"
Heinz quickly slapped a hand over one of them as his face turned bright red.
"Yeah you're definitely not watching 'Gore and Love', either!", he said in full humiliation. "In fact NOTHING above PG-13 for you! At all!"
Perry's entire face flushed and glowed with a bright red color.
"Oh my gosh...", he muttered as he smacked his head into his hands.
"Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get ready to pick up Vanessa before the day passes away. And by the way, your boxers with MY face on them are finally dry.", he turned back with a smirk. "I saw them in the laundry basket when Norm walked by me yesterday.
Perry's eyes widened as he heard Doofenshmirtz mention them. The exact reason of WHY he didn't want him to look when he DID take them off. Doofenshmirtz would've laughed at Perry's face being even redder than it already was, but his mind was distracted with Vanessa and with that, he went off to the bathroom to treat the wounds and freshen up before getting her.