DISCLAIMER: I do now own Twilight or Dirty Dancing. I just want to play in Edward's head for a little while…
Dirty Dancing in the Twilight
Epilogue – Part One
EPOV
Three months ago, if someone would have told me where I would be right now, I would have laughed in their face. I can't believe how much my life has changed in such a short time.
It all started the day after my 20th birthday…
My silver Volvo – the one big item I was able to buy before Dad cut off access to my trust fund – is fast and fun to drive. I have plenty of time to daydream as I'm driving south on the I-5 toward Beaver, Washington. I'm heading back to Newton's Lodge for my third summer as a dance instructor. It's not a great job, but it pays the bills and leaves me plenty of time to work on my music. Plus, I get to work with Rosalie, who's been like a sister to me since we were five. This year I was even able to get a job for Jasper, my cousin. It's going to be a great summer hanging out with my two favorite people.
The hard part about working at Newton's is that it's seasonal. Finding a way to make ends meet during the off-season isn't easy. I worked odd jobs in Alaska this winter, but I need to find something better next year because that was a whole new level of cold that I don't want to deal with again.
I stretch my legs while I'm on the ferry and then hop on the 101 for the last leg of my trip. The Lodge looks the same as I pull in and park. I take a detour through the dining room to grab a quick snack in the kitchen. Coming in through the employee's entrance, I hear Old Man Newton giving the waiters the annual pep talk about kissing up to the spoiled little rich girls. I can't resist harassing them, so I smirk and say, "Got that, guys?" I should have kept my mouth shut. Old Man Newton starts in on me about how I'm not supposed to touch the girls. Yeah. Yeah. As if I want anything to do with these debutantes. I leave my sunglasses on so he can't see me rolling my eyes and keep walking toward the kitchen.
Then I see her. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She has long brown hair that falls in waves down her back. Her doe-shaped eyes are dark – probably brown, but I can't be sure from here. Her skin looks so soft I want to rub myself against it. She probably barely tops five feet. She's tiny and petite and looks like she would fit perfectly under my arm, snuggled up against me. Somehow I manage to keep walking while I slowly work my way up from her strappy little sandals to her tight jeans to the t-shirt that fits her just right.
I'm glad I still have the sunglasses on. Hopefully she can't tell I'm checking her out, but I think I'm busted 'cause she backs into the shadows. I watch her try to hide behind a curtain of her hair as that idiot Royce starts mouthing off to me. I can't help but smirk at her little game. A few choice words shut Royce up before I walk right toward her and purposefully rub my arm against her shoulder on my way by. I think my knees are knocking. I've got to get out of here.
DDitT
Before I know it, the afternoon is over, but I'm still not done unpacking. I'm glad to have the same cabin as last year, so the bookshelves are still here to hold all of my books and CDs. I still can't believe I could fit so much into the trunk of the Volvo. Did I mention I love that car?
I hurry to get cleaned up and head up to the Lodge for the evening. This tuxedo makes my skin crawl, but Old Man Newton insists. When I find Rosalie, we start dancing, and we're having a blast showing off all the moves we've practiced over the years. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Little Newton dancing with my brown-eyed girl. I can't afford to let her distract me. I need this job.
Old Man Newton gives us the evil eye, and Rosalie and I separate to begin lessons. At least being busy makes the night go by pretty quickly. Around ten o'clock, Jasper sneaks in to ask how much longer we'll be. Most of the employees are hanging out in the staff room already. He's laughing, telling me some story about 'Little Newton's new girlfriend' being in the magician act. He has no idea calling her that makes my teeth grind and my fists clench.
Rosalie and I finally finish and head up to the staff room. Now, we can really dance. I'm moving through the crowd, saying hi to everyone I haven't seen in a year, when I see her standing with Jasper. I know I should stay away, but I have to find out what she's doing here, so I make my way over to him. I'm immediately so lost in her eyes that I don't hear what she says, but it must have been embarrassing because she's turning all kinds of red and trying to hide behind her hair again. I figure I'll let her off the hook and go back to dance with Rosalie.
One of my favorite songs comes on, and I really want to dance with my brown-eyed girl. I move back over to her and bring her out into the crowd with me. It takes her a little while, but she gets the hang of it. As soon as she does, I regret my decision. What was I thinking? Dancing with this girl is incredible. I've got to stay away from her before I do something crazy and lose my job.
No girl has ever affected me like this before. Even after she's gone, I can't stop thinking about her. I wonder what her name is.
DDitT
No private lessons have been scheduled yet, so the afternoon is free to play my guitar and work on my newest song. I wander outside for a break and notice my girl trying on wigs over at Rosalie's table. Yeah, I had to shorten that name. She quickly takes the wig off as soon as I start talking. How cute is that?
That idiot Royce has the nerve to flirt with my girl's sister right in front of Rosalie. What a tool. As I'm walking away, I hear her sister call her Baby. I wonder if that's her real name.
DDitT
Man, I swear I can't catch a break. Tanya Denali is here again this year. She's one of the women I got together with last year before I finally got smart and realized they were just using me as their cabana boy. Don't get me wrong – I like girls, especially beautiful ones, but I'm looking for more than casual hook-ups.
I have no choice but to dance with Tanya. Old Man Newton doesn't want me to touch the daughters, but he doesn't mind encouraging these cougars. How did I ever find her attractive? She has a great body; I just don't want her rubbing it all over me. When comparing her to my girl, it's easy to see that her beauty is completely fake and definitely only skin deep.
Little Newton interrupts our dance to ask me where Rosalie is, then he goes outside, dragging my girl with him. The only thing making me happy right now is the fact that she looked irritated with the way he escorted her outside.
Several songs play, and I'm still dancing with Tanya when I see my girl run over to Jasper and tell him something, looking at me over her shoulder.
Jasper cuts in and tells me Rosalie's crying. I'm happy to get away from Tanya, but can't believe Rosalie is making a scene. I really don't want my girl to find out Rose is pregnant, so I'm trying to get her to go back to the Lodge when she ticks me off by assuming I'm the dad. I have to walk away from her before I say anything too harsh.
My only focus is getting Rose back to the staff room. Since we're practically family, I remind her she needs to let me help her. But then she tells me she needs $250 for her doctor appointment. I don't have that kind of money right now. Of course, Royce won't man up. For the thousandth time, I wish Rose would let me pound some sense into him. I'm so focused Rosalie's problem that I don't even notice my girl leave.
DDitT
My girl hasn't been around all day today. Jasper mentions that Rose really ripped into her last night while I was scheming about pounding Royce. Rosalie can be pretty harsh until she gets to know somebody.
Suddenly, my girl is standing there putting a wad of money in Rose's hand. I can't believe how excited I am to see her, which only reminds me how dangerous this is. I really need to make her stay away from me. When Rose asks if she's for real, I decide to chase her off once and for all, even if it kills me. "Yeah. Takes a saint to ask daddy." I take a guess at where she got the money, but must have hit it on the head because she looks really ticked.
Her face quickly changes to confusion when Jasper explains about our gig at The Port Angeles Resort. "Can't someone else fill in?" she asks innocently.
My girl seems to want to help everyone, but I really don't want her help with this. I can't dance with her again. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Jasper and Rose start talking about how she can move – I shouldn't have taught her those moves the other night. Obviously I have my own reasons for not wanting to do it, but I find myself curious when my girl starts trying to get out of it. Why doesn't she want to dance with me?
Before I know it, Jasper and Rose have decided Baby will fill in for Rosalie.
DDitT
Baby and I practice almost every day. I try so hard to keep my distance from her, but she's wearing me down. Without spending much time with her before, I hadn't realized she's really clumsy. It's kind of cute. I'm pretty sure everything about her is adorable. Yeah, I'm also pretty sure I'm turning into a girl.
Each day, I let my guard down and flirt with her a little more, but she doesn't even seem to notice. I wonder if she really does like Little Newton. It's time to find out, so I take my shirt off as I hear her coming up the stairs to the studio. She looks at me and bites her bottom lip as her face turns bright red. That's a good sign, right?
We need to practice the intro today. I stand behind Baby and wrap her arm around my neck. Every time I begin to run my hand down her arm toward her waist, she jerks away from me and giggles. I lose count of how many times we try this. If I wasn't so selfishly refusing to lose my opportunity to cop a feel, I would give up on this move.
My girl is getting pretty good. It's time to show her the lift, but I'm not sure I'm ready to have her that close to me. I'm distracted by my warring emotions, so I snap at her when she throws her arm back and almost knocks me over. What I don't expect is for her to snap right back at me. It's pretty clear that we both need a change of scenery.
Of all days to lock the keys in my car, I had to choose the day when the tension between us is so thick I can almost taste it. There's no doubt I'm going to regret breaking the window on my precious Volvo, but we really need to get out of here.
I can't risk anybody from the Lodge seeing me hanging out with a guest, so I drive up to Beaver Lake. I head to a favorite spot of mine, a secluded meadow, to show her lifts, but first we work on balance on a fallen tree. It surprises me how easy it is to just hang out with Baby. Once we're in the meadow, she's doing pretty well with the lifts, but she keeps knocking me down because she hesitates at the last second. My butt is starting to get sore, so I tell her we need to practice in the water. I am not making this up just because she's wearing a white shirt.
We practice until Baby seems to be comfortable with lifts. I move deeper and deeper into the lake each time and pretty soon, she's hanging onto me. We're having a blast and I can't resist getting closer to her, so I toss her on my back and wrap her arms around my neck to dunk her. Some girls would be furious, but she doesn't really act like most girls, so I wait to see how she's going to react. I get a rush when she wraps her legs around my waist instead of pushing me away. When we surface, I hear her giggling about something. She has a cute giggle. I. Am. Such. A. Girl.
DDitT
Baby comes out of the studio dressed for our show. She looks great in Rosalie's dress. I don't even remember anything about the drive to Port Angeles. I'm just happy to have her in my car.
I have to whisper to her a few times when she seems to be confused about the steps, but other than skipping the lift, she does a really good job. As we're taking our final bows, I can feel her tense at my side and realize she spotted an old couple from the Lodge in the audience. I grab her hand and pull her off stage before she can panic.
While Baby's changing in the back seat, I can't help but sneak a few peeks in the rearview mirror. "You did good," I tell her. This girl just does something to me. I need to stop fighting it, but I haven't had a girlfriend in years. I don't even remember how to begin. Suddenly, I'm nervous. She climbs into the front seat, and I glance at her a couple of times, but I don't know what to say. She seems to have something on her mind too, so we're both quiet for the rest of the drive.
I help Baby out of the car and take a deep breath. Before I can open my mouth to ask her to go for a walk with me, Jasper runs up and tells us Rosalie's locked in her room. Something's wrong. I push through the crowd and use my key to open the door. Baby pulls her hand out of mine, and then she's gone.
I freeze and forget all about Baby when I see the blood. This is exactly why I'm not going to medical school like my dad wants. I'm still trying to get Rose to calm down and tell me where it hurts when my girl comes back with her dad. The first words out of his mouth are to ask who is responsible for Rose. She's practically my sister. I'm responsible. I should have protected her.
Baby's dad zeroes in on her hand in mine and glares at me. He tells us to wait outside for the ambulance. I can barely stand upright as they wheel Rose out on the stretcher. I feel so helpless. I feel like such a wimp. How does my dad deal with this stuff every day?
Baby's dad walks toward us with a hard look on his face. I put my hand out to thank him, but he keeps walking right past me. My girl follows him. I know they've got something to work out, so I go to my room and try to wrap my mind around everything that's going on.
A quiet knock on my door rouses me from my thoughts. I can't believe my eyes when Baby is standing there. It's embarrassing for her to see where I live, but she looks around and seems to admire my books. It seems like at my age, I should have more to show for my life than some great books and CDs.
Baby tries to apologize about her dad, but I can't let her do that. He stepped in and took care of Rosalie when I couldn't even think straight. I'm not a hero. I'm nobody. I try to explain to her how empty and unpredictable my life is, hoping she'll realize she's better off without me, yet also hoping she never figures that out. I should have known she would have faith in me because she only sees the good and the potential in people.
I try to tell her how brave she is, but she disagrees. "I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you," she says. Her admission shocks the heck out of me. I can't find the words to tell her I feel the same way, so I move over to my iPod to find a song that will show her how I feel. The Time of My Life by Bill Medley. Perfect.
"Dance with me," she says. I pull her to me, and she wraps her hands around my neck, into my hair. I move to pull her shirt off and hesitate to see if she's going to stop me. She doesn't, so I pull it off, wrap my arms around my girl, and dance with her.
"Open your eyes, Baby," I say. I want to look into her deep brown eyes when I kiss her for the first time. She's so beautiful as I press my lips to hers.
Kissing her is unlike any kiss I've ever experienced.
DDitT
Jasper comes by early to tell me Rosalie was brought back this morning, so I get dressed and go check on her. Baby's there when I walk in. Rose knows me too well, and it only takes her a few seconds to know something is going on between us. When she realizes Rosalie knows about us, Baby blushes and goes outside.
As soon as the door closes behind her, Rose starts in on me. "Edward, what are you doing? You know I like Baby. She's done so much for me. But you know you can't get involved with a guest. You have a choice, and you're choosing wrong. You're going to lose your job." She acts like I don't already know this. She acts like I still have a choice. She doesn't know it's already too late for that.
"I can't stop. I'm just going to do what I want and let the chips fall where they may. As long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly," I try to explain to her. Baby is more important than my job. I know I don't deserve her, but I'm not going to give her up.
I step out to the porch and tell Baby I have to get up to the Lodge for a lesson. She looks so scared, like I'm leaving forever. "I'll see you," I try to reassure her.
"Edward, wait," she calls after me. I turn around and smile at her. She hesitates then smiles back at me.
Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, I know everything is going to be okay.
DDitT
No one wants to be out in the rain, so I have the afternoon free. My song is starting to come together, but I happily put my guitar aside when Bella knocks on my door. I didn't think she'd be able to get away from her dad for a while.
"Have you had many women?" she asks me out of the blue. I wish I could read her mind. I never know what she's going to say. I've never met a girl who wants to know the answer to that question. I try to deflect her, but she just repeats the question.
Choosing my words carefully, I tell her about the women who threw themselves at me the last two summers. It was so flattering at first. She completely misunderstands and thinks I was using those women. "No. No. That's not it. That's the thing, Baby. It wasn't like that. They were using me," I try to make her see.
I must succeed because she leans up and kisses me. I could kiss Baby all day. I know I'm falling in love with this girl, so it's not right that I don't even know her name. "What's your real name, Baby?" I ask. Wait a minute. Did I just say 'love'?
"Isabella, but I like to be called Bella," she says shyly.
"That's a beautiful name." It fits her perfectly. Just like she fits me perfectly. I. Am. Such. A. Girl.
DDitT
Baby comes to the studio after my last appointment of the day. Even though I know her real name now, I still find myself calling her Baby – probably because everybody else does.
I just want to hold her close, but she's teasing me and pretending to practice the Mambo. We're messing around and crawling on the floor, and I'm finally going to get a kiss from her when Little Newton barges in. I grit my teeth when he offers to give her lessons. Lucky for him, he stops drooling over her and tells me why he's interrupting us.
He wants to try something new for the end of the season show this year. This is it. I finally get to play my own music and use the new moves the dancers have been working on. Little Newton cuts me off before I even get to the good part. "Whoa. Whoa. You're way over your head," he laughs. I should have known he wasn't ready for real change.
When Little Newton leaves, I slam the cover on the old stereo. My girl knows I need some fresh air, so we head out for a walk. She tries to talk me into standing up to him, but she just doesn't understand that I need this job. I'm not as brave as her. I know she doesn't understand what my life is like, so I tell her my mom called. I don't usually talk about my parents with anybody because I'm too embarrassed to admit my own father is ashamed of me.
Suddenly, Baby is grabbing my arm and pulling me down behind some bushes. She spotted her dad walking with her sister and Royce, and she's hiding from them. It seems she's not as brave as she acts. "Fight harder? I don't see you fighting so hard, Baby. I don't see you running up to Daddy telling him I'm your guy," I say.
She expects me to believe she'll tell him, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon.
"I don't believe you, Baby. I don't think that you ever had any intention of telling him – ever," I say, walking away.
There are so many conflicting thoughts bouncing around in my head, and I need to share them before they drive me crazy. I find myself sitting on Rosalie's couch, staring at the floor. She knows me well enough to know that I'll tell her what's on my mind when I'm ready. She doesn't push, and luckily, she doesn't say 'I told you so.'
While she waits for me to open up, Rose tells me about the paramedic she met, Emmett. He sounds like a good guy, but I'll need to meet him for myself to make sure. Nobody is going to get the chance to hurt Rose again.
I still haven't said anything to Rose by the time Baby knocks on the door. Rose pushes the door open so we can see each other, then walks away. Baby looks as bad as I feel. Deep inside, I know she isn't trying to hurt me, so I follow her outside and wait to see what she has to say for herself.
"I'm sorry," she says, kissing my shoulder.
Before I can respond, I hear Royce say, "Well, it looks like I picked the wrong sister. That's okay, Baby. I went slumming, too." It takes me a fraction of a second to catalogue all the problems with that statement. One, he's talking to my girl. Two, he wishes he picked my girl. Three, he's insulting Rosalie. Four, he's still breathing after what he did to Rose. Five, he's insulting me. I think there's more, but that's enough.
He hasn't even finished talking by the time I jump the rail and have him on the ground. It feels great to finally be allowed to punch him. I've been waiting so long for this. A crowd is gathering around, but it doesn't slow me down.
Suddenly, I remember Baby is watching me. I don't want her to see me like this. When she sees what an animal I am, she'll go running and screaming away from me. "Get out of here. You're not worth it," I spit out, shoving his face into the dirt one more time.
I walk over and stand in front of the railing Baby's leaning on, wrapping my arms around her and holding on tight. She needs to know I won't let anyone talk to her or about her like that. She's mine. "I feel very protective of you," I say. I need to focus on her and forget about going after Royce to finish what I started. "Please distract me so I don't go after him."
DDitT
I'm supposed to be finalizing Little Newton's songs for the final show, but I keep glancing over at Baby painting that palm tree. She has no idea there's paint on her nose. She's so cute. And she has no idea that she's driving me crazy in those denim shorts and that tiny tank top. It's nice to catch her looking at me a few times, too.
I hope Baby's not watching when Tanya leans in close and whispers, "This is our last night together. I've got something worked out for us." She's oblivious to the fact that I haven't come to her room once this summer. I sneak a peek at Bella, and luckily, she's concentrating on the tree.
When I walk over to tell Tanya's husband that his song is coming up, he hands me a wad of cash and tells me he'll be playing cards all night. The guy is flat out paying me to spend the night with his wife. I can't even wrap my mind around what a messed up marriage that is. My dad may not be speaking to me, but I have to admit he always provided an example of how a man is supposed to treat his wife.
This situation needs to be dealt with now, before Baby hears anything. I can't believe I'm about to give up all this money, but that's not the way I want to earn it. "I'm sorry, Mr. Denali," I begin, "but I'm booked up for the whole weekend, you know, with the show and everything, so I won't have time for anything else. I don't think it'd be fair to take the money." I see Tanya's eyes getting bigger and angrier with every word that comes out of my mouth, but I walk away before she can say anything.
DDitT
Baby comes to my room every night. I love holding her in my arms, but don't dare fall asleep because she can only stay for a few hours.
It's really been bothering me, and I know I need to tell her about the dream I had. I really want her dad to accept me. Maybe it's because my own father doesn't. Or maybe it's just because I've seen the way he accepts Royce and I'm jealous. Or maybe it's just because if he doesn't accept me, he might try to keep me away from Bella. "Last night, I dreamed we were walking along. We met your father. He put his arm around me, just like he did with Royce," I tell her, hoping she can hear how important this is to me.
She asks me to give her time to figure out how to work out their issues. I feel a lot more hopeful when she says, "I'll make him understand that we're a package deal."
"I'm glad to hear that because you're becoming like an addiction to me. You're my personal brand of heroin. I can't get enough of you," I admit. It feels great to tell her how I feel. I know. I'm such a girl.
DDitT
Why is it so bright in here? Oh, crap! I fell asleep. The sun is coming up and Baby is still here. I take a minute to look at her. Her shiny brown hair is spread out on my pillow. Her beautiful face is peaceful and relaxed. She has a small smile on her lips. I'd like to think I put it there.
I need to wake her up, so I rub my nose along her jaw and nuzzle her ear. She stirs against me and then sighs. I would love to enjoy the morning with her, but she needs to get back to her cabin. She finally wakes up when I shake her a little more forcefully.
Postponing her departure, I walk Baby out and kiss her on my porch. I don't want her to leave, but I finally let her go.
I'm so focused on her that I don't realize we're being watched.
DDitT
When I hear a knock at my door, my first assumption is that Baby was able to come back already. Old Man Newton is the last person I expect to see on my porch.
"Where were you between 1:00 and 4:00 this morning, Edward?" he asks me, not even bothering with a greeting. The obvious answer should be sleeping, but for some reason, I tell him I was reading. He looks skeptical as he leaves with no explanation. I have a really bad feeling about this.
Less than an hour later, Old Man Newton is back at my door with Little Newton in tow. This is definitely bad.
"Edward, you've violated the rule against fraternizing with a guest," Old Man Newton tells me. "While we were investigating an allegation that you had stolen a guest's wallet, we were informed that you had a guest in your room overnight." He obviously found out about Baby, but what does she have to do with a stolen wallet? "Based on these two issues, I have no choice but to let you go. If you leave willingly without causing any problems, you'll receive your bonus."
"Mr. Newton, I'm sorry, sir. But I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know anything about a stolen wallet." I'm hoping he won't notice I didn't deny the overnight visitor. "I'll be gone by tonight, but can you please tell me what's going on?"
Old Man Newton tells me Tanya Denali is accusing me of stealing her husband's wallet, and they are still trying to gather all the information. I can't believe she's doing this just because I turned her down. What a spiteful witch. If I didn't already find her disgusting, I would now.
Little Newton fills me in on the conversation that took place at breakfast. He curls his lip when he gets to the part about Baby admitting that she was in my room. My mouth falls open in shock. She did it. It sounds like she didn't really mean to, but she told her dad that I'm her guy. As thrilled as I am that she finally claimed me as hers, I know that I need to find her because she is probably in a lot of trouble right now.
Baby's cabin is empty and she's not at Rosalie's or Jasper's. As I'm checking the main Lodge, Old Man Newton stops me to tell me that Baby's dad verified that the Laurents stole the wallets. I'm happy to be cleared of that accusation, but still out of a job.
I finally check the boat house, finding Baby asleep on a hammock. She's so happy to hear that the Laurents were arrested that I hate to tell her I still got fired. She's furious, thinking it's all her fault. She doesn't realize I wouldn't trade one second of my time with her to have this crappy job back.
"No. No. Not for nothing, Baby. Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before," I tell her. She goes from furious to defeated in seconds. Her shoulders slump forward, her eyes lose their fire. I hate knowing that I'm about to hurt her even more.
"Baby, do you want to keep me company while I pack?" I ask quietly, trying to get her to meet my eyes.
We walk into my room, and she sits on my bed, staring at the floor. I know she needs time to think, so I pull out my suitcases and shove my clothes in. Next, I start packing my CDs and books. I'm lucky I still have my empty boxes.
The third box is almost full when she breaks the silence. "Where will you go?" she asks.
I have to be honest with her – I have no idea where I'm headed. "I have enough money for a few days in hotels," I begin. But I'm tired of this life. I'm 20 years old. I need something more. I don't know how to accomplish this or how to tell Baby about it, so I keep it to myself.
"Baby, you have so many exciting plans for yourself. You and Alice are going to UDub. I don't even have a job. I can't ask you to wait around for me," I try to explain. I leave out the part about not being good enough for her. She's bound to figure that out on her own. I can't tag along after her and be a witness to the look on her face when she finally realizes I'm holding her back. To protect myself from heartbreak, I need to let her go.
"Look, Baby, we'll keep in touch. Everything will work out," I lie, knowing I need to let her move on. I close the last box, and she helps me carry them to my car.
"I can't imagine being here without you even one day," she says, leaning against my fender. I tease her about having more fun without me, but she knows my smile isn't real.
"I'll never be sorry," I tell her. More than anything else, I need her to know this.
"I'm coming with you," she says suddenly. Oh, no. I can't let her throw away her future on a drifter like me.
I already told her she's better off without me. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but apparently I need to be more direct. "I don't want you to come with me. Baby, we've talked about this," I say. I remind her again of the plans she had before I came into her life.
The words I just said to her slowly sink into my brain. If she told me she didn't want me to come with her, I would be devastated. There's no way she can feel as strongly for me as I do for her. She'll get over me once she meets someone better at college. Just in case I'm wrong, I need to make sure she doesn't do anything crazy. "Promise me something. Don't do anything reckless," I beg her, pulling her against me for the last time.
Then I do the hardest thing I've done in all of my 20 years – I get in my car and drive away from the most amazing girl I'll ever meet.
DDitT
Four hours later, I pull into an old hotel in downtown Seattle. It's so cheap that I'll be able to stay longer than I expected. It's so rundown that I wish I didn't have to. For most of the night, I stare at the ceiling and think about Bella. Now that I'm away from her, her real name is all I can think about. Her face is all I can see when I close my eyes. Her voice is all I can hear when the traffic outside finally fades away.
When I wake up, I'm still exhausted. There's no reason to get out of bed. My body feels like there is no purpose to anything anymore. I want to stay here all day, but somewhere inside of me, I know that if I ever hope to deserve Bella, I need to get busy.
Whatever I'm looking for should be in the downtown area, so I shower and head out on foot. I stick my head inside a few restaurants to ask if they're hiring entertainers, but none are. Legally, I can't work in any bars until next June. At the end of the day, I drag myself back to the hotel and fall asleep quickly.
Almost every day, I pull up Bella's number and hover my finger over the send button. But I don't want to call her until I can give her good news.
It's been over a week. I still have no job prospects, and I'm quickly running out of money. My chances of ever being good enough for Bella seem to be decreasing every day. Once she leaves the Lodge and heads off to college, she'll forget about me. Even though I know I should allow her to have a clean break, the selfish side of me needs to hear her voice one more time. I smile as I finally allow myself to push the send button, but it goes to voicemail. "Hi, Bella. I wanted to let you know I haven't found a job yet. I don't know where I'm going. And I know you'll be leaving soon. I miss you. Bye." I hang up, and flop back against my pillow. I barely got to hear her voice. If I could remember how to block my caller ID, I would call back a few times just to hear her outgoing message.
DDitT
Sometime in the middle of the night, I wake up in a cold sweat. I don't remember what happened in my dream, but I know I can't let Bella go. I need to talk to her before she leaves the Lodge tomorrow. Once she gets to her dad's house and starts making plans for her move to Seattle, it might be too late. I know that's not really true because I still have her phone number, but I need to see her. Now.
It's already 10:47. I covered a lot of ground yesterday, but I haven't slept this late in a long time. I guess it finally caught up with me. Okay. I need to get moving if I'm going to shower and shave before I see Bella. I reach into my suitcase for some jeans and head to the bathroom.
First I have to check out because I don't know if I'll be coming back tonight, and I can't afford to pay for the room if I'm not even going to use it. It takes me a few minutes to pack up the few things I had brought in from my car. At noon, I'm finally on the road. Less than three blocks later, my stomach starts growling, reminding me that I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. A quick snack and I'm finally on the road.
Traffic is heavier than usual, even for a Saturday. The I-5 is so backed up that it takes me almost an hour to cover what should have taken ten minutes. I finally pass the accident and take the exit to the Edmonds Ferry terminal. In keeping with my horrible luck today, a ferry just left, so it'll be almost an hour 'til the next one leaves.
If I was a superstitious person, I would be worried right now. Nothing is going to stop me from getting to Bella. I don't want to jinx anything, but I can't help but wonder what else could possibly go wrong.
It's almost 6:00 by the time I finally exit the ferry. At this rate, I'll be lucky to make the show at all. It's a good thing I like to drive fast. It's also a good thing that my luck seems to change and there's no traffic on the 101.
Now that I'm getting close, I start to get nervous. All of the reasons that I wanted Bella to move on are still valid, but they're not enough to stop me anymore. I need to be with her. I don't know what I'm going to do about her dad, but I'm not going to let him keep us apart. Yeah, I'm such a girl – and I don't even care right now.
I'm not going to let the Newtons keep us apart either. She was right – I should have fought harder. Not about the music, but for my job. Bella coming to my room is no different than what most of the waiters did. Actually, it's better because I actually have feelings for her. I shouldn't have left without a fight. I should be in charge of tonight's show.
That's when it hits me. I'm going to walk into the Lodge and finish the show the way it should have been done.
My friends are surprised and happy to see me, but I don't slow down to talk. I need to find Bella. Then I need to show Little Newton what a real show looks like.
Scanning the entire room, I spot Bella sitting at a table with her parents. I don't have time to address her dad right now. That's a conversation for another day – a day when we have a lot of time.
"Nobody puts Bella in a corner," I say, reaching for her. "Come on." As soon as she puts her little hand in mine, I know I made the right decision for me. I'm too selfish to do what might be best for her. "I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore," I admit.
"Then don't," she says. Somehow those two words let me know that she doesn't blame me for my weakness.
Leading Bella up onto the stage, I give Jasper my iPod, noticing the small, dark haired girl practically bouncing at his side. I've never seen her before, but she seems to know Bella.
Bella walks out to center stage and watches me stalk toward her. I apologize to the crowd for interrupting the show and then signal Jasper. The lights dim and our song starts. Everything else fades away when I have my girl back in my arms where she belongs. We dance together like we've done it a million times. I kiss her on the nose and jump off the stage to get the other dancers, who follow me up the aisle just like we practiced. I stop and look at Bella, tilting my head, wondering if she's ready for a lift. She nods at me, so Eric and Tyler lift her off the stage, and she runs straight into my arms for a perfect lift.
I barely take my eyes off Bella, but I notice a few things going on around me. I see everyone else dancing. I see Tanya Denali stomp out of the room. I see Old Man Newton talking to Jasper about the music. I see Bella's dad walking fast to get to us before we reach the hallway. When he reaches us, he puts his hand on my arm and says, "I know you weren't the one who got Rosalie in trouble."
I'm happy he finally realizes this, but that still doesn't mean he thinks I'm good enough for Bella. It's ironic that I don't think I'm good enough for her, but I want him to think so. "Yeah…" I say, hoping he'll continue.
"When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong," he says. Well, it's not an arm around my shoulder, but it's a start. He turns to Bella and says, "You looked wonderful out there, Bella." The look on his face reminds me that we have something in common – we both love this girl. For her, we'll find a way to get along.
She hugs her dad and then turns back to me. I wonder if she knows I chose this song just for her because it reminds me of the first time we were together. I quietly sing the chorus to her to make sure she does.