Author's note: I apologise for the long wait. Life got a tad hectic, so I was unable to upload anything for a while. I can't promise regular updates, and I'm sorry for that, but nevertheless I hope you enjoy the following letters as they come.
Hey, guys!
You might not know me, but I've been invading the Soul Society recently, disrupting the general peace, getting on everyone's nerves, etcetera, so I may have come across some of you already. I'd like to think that some of us are friends now.
So, yeah, I'm supposed to talk about my fighting technique? Not much to tell, really. I use Zangetsu a lot. It's basically my only weapon, since I don't have kido like the other soul reapers. Then again, I don't think I've ever tried! Perhaps I'll ask Yoruichi about it.
Anyway, as far as I know, my zanpakuto is in constant release. Pretty cool, isn't it? But yeah, if anyone ever threatens my friends or my family, they'll have me to answer to. (I'm not entirely sure why, but Uryuu is now snickering away in a corner. I didn't even know he was capable of displaying any expression beside 'royally pissed'.)
Stay cool, guys.
Till the next time we fight,
Substitute Soul Reaper Ichigo Kurosaki
Side note from Uryuu Ishida: Ichigo, you can't even pull off being mildly threatening. Sorry, Rukia, but it looks like you'll be imprisoned a little while longer with Mr Picks-A-Fight-With-Everyone-In-Sight around.
Side note from Chief Editor Tousen: The substitute soul reaper insisted that he be involved in this. I was unable to distract him with talk about the injustice of the situation for long enough and he managed to hijack my printing press and write his column. The Head Captain has now asked Captain Kurotsuchi to investigate how Kurosaki keeps getting into the Soul Society, but so far nothing has been discovered. I strongly suspect Rukia Kuchiki and Kisuke Urahara.
Side note from 3rd Seat Madarame: I thought I was supposed to be this week's column!
Side note from Lieutenant Abarai: You must be practically pulling your hair out – oh, wait. You don't have any. My mistake.
Side note from 3rd Seat Madarame: I'll take you on right now, Abarai!