Gone too Soon

Hey everyone I am updating this today. I won't be able to update for a while I am so sorry about that. It's just I'm going to be somewhere where the internet connection isn't good and anyway I'm going to be with family. I hope you understand that it won't be for a week or so maybe longer until I will be able to update this story and my other story as well called That Rossi Kid for any of you that are following it.

Chapter 10 You're Not Alone

Hotch and JJ got back to the precinct and they got out of the FBI car. Hotch closed the door behind him and walked forward as he went inside the precinct. JJ stayed for a quick moment to go into the back of the car. She was going to grab a bag that holds items that they went to grab to help out with the investigation into finding the, unsub. She hoisted it and put it on her arm and below her armpit as it was quivering below her.

She turned around and nearly got a heart attack. She placed her hands to her chest in shock and utter bewilderment. What she saw was the dead young Spencer Reid in front of her. She couldn't believe this. How is she even seeing him at all? He's dead. But it could just be her mind playing with her and creating an illusion.

She shook her head and started walking with the bag still being held by her hand and arm. But she stopped as Spencer ended up moving as he was sitting on a bench. She shook her head again as she continued walking but Spencer moved as he stood up standing by a tree. She walked over to the door and put her hand to the handle. But her hand just stayed their hovering. She closed her eyes as she turned around and walked over to the tree. But Spencer was gone.

She turned around to leave but then he appeared in front of her as he was walking where light was surrounding him. He looked somewhat angelic and harmonic at the same time. But the light that was there caused him to look out of focus.

"What's going on? Am I crazy?" wondered JJ right there

"No you're not." replied Spencer right back to her

"But you're here and we're talking." said JJ out of the blue

"We are but it doesn't mean we are always talking to one another even though you are here and I am not." said Spencer

"Can I touch you?" wondered JJ as she started to bring her hand out to him

"No I'm just an illusion. But I'm here wherever you go you know that." replied Spencer

"I want to believe it but it's been so hard. I was so devastated and when Will heard he saw how sad I was and that I was pulling away from the co-workers." told JJ to Spencer

"Just believe in it." said Spencer

"I will." said JJ as she looked down "Henry misses you. He misses his uncle and godfather. It's been just as hard for him that he's been pulling himself away from other kids and his friends. He doesn't want to play with them anymore because he misses you too much."

"He needs to have friends who will be there for him just like he needs both a mother and father that needs to be there for him." replied Spencer

"That's why we miss you so much. We miss everything about you; that you are different than other people and you don't care how they think. You perceive this world a lot different than I do and that's what makes you, you. That's why we miss you so much." told JJ

"You're never alone. You always have someone to be there for you. I'm still here for you even though I am not here." said Spencer as he stood there as the wind was picking up but his hair lay flat "If you can make sense of what I am saying anyway."

"I do. Don't worry I speak a little bit of Spencer Reid in a sense." told JJ right there

This really is hard for her knowing that her best friend is gone and is not coming back. But seeing him in a sense is helping her out, it's a great coping mechanism. She doesn't feel as sad or devastated or lonely. It feels as if his presence is giving her more energy to go on. It's not like he's really there because she knows he isn't. The dead can't walk or talk they are just dead plain and simple. But an illusion isn't real but it can reveal truths of one's self.

She stood there wondering what could have happened to Reid if he had not died in the fire. He would still be alive but could he have met his soul mate by now and be dating someone, could he be making someone smile at the moment with his witty knowledge, could he be doing something more with his life and could he still with the FBI? These are questions for sure she asks herself wondering all that what ifs, if Reid was still alive. Things would definitely be different that's for sure.

She stood there as they day wore on and it was starting to become cooler as it was becoming late. It was the afternoon but a lot of the day has gone by and there are a still few measly hours left of the day until they would leave and get some rest. But she doesn't want to leave this spot because Spencer is here in front of her and she doesn't think that the other's would believe her if she told them she saw Reid. Well maybe Derek and Hotch as they did tell her earlier that they both saw the young dead doctor. So maybe she isn't as crazy as she thinks but it's still somewhat weird.

"I just I miss you. So much I don't know how to continue to go on without you here." told JJ

"I know you can I find a way." said Spencer as he stood there

"Please don't go." muttered JJ right there

"Go where?" wondered Spencer

"Away. I don't want you to leave me." said JJ in tears

"I'm always with you." said Spencer as the light was getting brighter around him "You are never alone. You just need to find yourself and say this is me. You know who you are JJ."

"But-." JJ started

"I'm always here." told Spencer

JJ stood there as Spencer left leaving her. She didn't know what to say or do because seeing him just made her confused. Not because of him saying that she is never alone but because he was ambiguous about everything else. He didn't give advice, he didn't help out and he wasn't there to be judgmental. He was there for moral support in the illusion. He was there just to be there.

So why is she hanging on, hoping to see him again? Was he supposed to be there for something more? Or was he there just to be there? Whatever the reason was she was glad that he was there. She saw him and that's all she needed. She needed hope, leniency, support and most important of all self satisfaction. Seeing him brought back what she needed in life. She needs to know that and that she needs to share that with her son.

She knows that sometimes life is unfair and that you can be gone like that in an instant. She learned that a long time ago when her sister Rosalind took her own life. She knows that life is precious and if you take it away then why don't you go after it again.

She sighed and turned around as she ended up going into the precinct as she held onto the bag. The rest of the BAU team was waiting for her. They are probably wondering what is holding her back and taking her so long. She can't exactly say that she was talking to the dead Dr. Spencer Reid as it's impossible to speak to the dead. Some people will think she is just crazy but she already knows that both Hotch and Morgan saw him. They are unsure about Rossi though unknown if he has seen the dead doctor.

She opened the door as she entered the precinct and went over to the conference room. She closed the door behind her as she went over to the table and sat down. She put the bag in front of her on the table as the others all looked at her. She diverted her eyes away from them wanting to avoid all the blank placid stares.

It got late so the team ended up going over to a hotel even though they weren't far from home. They thought they might as well stay close to the city and scenes so they won't have to drive so far as some people are more than thirty minutes away from their for their own places.

Jill was in her own room at the moment as she was sitting on her bed and running through channels on the television. She didn't know what to do so she tried to find something on but couldn't find anything. It was either late night television ads or some stupid late night talk show. She hates everything so she turned the television off and threw the remote on the bedside nightstand.

She got up off the bed and decided to open the door to the balcony deck off her room. She got outside and sat on a deck chair as she looked out at the night sky both above and in front of her. It was amazing, dark and beautiful encrusted with stars that were gleaming and blinking down at her wondering how something so big could look so small. The sky looked like a desperate shade of black as it uttered darkness before her.

She let the night take her as the sky wrapped itself around her body as if it was lifting her up. She felt free as nothing was going to happen to her. It feels like anything could happen but still feel like there are voices but are small and in a distance.

She got shot out of it as she heard the door opening to another room and out stepped Derek Morgan. He came out into the night and sat down at a chair. She looked over at them as he didn't notice her. He seemed to be doing the same thing as her, contemplating over everything wondering what encompasses them for their future they set upon. She leaned up so he could see her more freely and she spoke in the night.

"You feel free when there is nothing to think about." said Jill

"Jill!" said Derek surprised as he looked over "I didn't know you were out here."

"I like to come out in the night and clear my head after a long day of craziness and information with new fortitude if I can." told Jill

"Sounds like a great thing to do." replied Derek right there and spoke again "Jill I am so sorry about your parents I didn't know."

"It's okay it was a long time ago." muttered Jill

"Still one shouldn't lose both their parents. Do you know where your brother is?" asked Derek

"No he could be anywhere. I've looked for him for the last couple years but I've had no luck." exclaimed Jill

"I'm so sorry about how I've been treating you. Now knowing about you're past I should never have-." started Derek

"I understand you lost a good friend who was like a brother. It would be difficult for anyone." told Jill

They stayed sitting there on the chairs outside as they looked at the sky before them. Being there feels amazing that nothing would happen and that they can't get hurt. They are striving for the days and trying to earn grace. It's like they are always crying. But they should never turn away. But they are searching; they are searching as they run for where they are in life. But even in the dead of night nothing is filled with grace. The night was swallowing the grave as it carries them farther.

In life someone always wonders who they are and they set out to discover it for themselves. But if they have someone by their sides even if it's a ghost, an angel, a memory or a figment of their imagination they will set out to endure it and figure it out. No matter how long it will take. It will be forever. It will be them. It will be like nothing can get past the impenetrable web.

Who is she? Her heart is wandering but something lights the way. Is it a star from above that is helping her find whatever it is? She feels like vapor but even when she is falling she is also flying. She is going to rise and catch herself as she falls. But if she tries she can fly. She will never be alone in this world.