Loved your reviews last time guys!
But sadly no one managed to guess who the mystery character at the end of the last chapter is - okay so it's my fault I made it too difficult but let's see who works it out before the end of this chapter. Now no cheating and scrolling to the bottom - let me know what you think :P
Musician17 - I have missed your reviews so you better hold your promise and make it up to me soon :P
JSCO81 - Charlie and things she regrets - wow that's quite a list. Not sure I want to add to it lol!
PMCC - I think Charlie's gotta do some proper stepping up first if she wants things to change and this chapter may just be a start - And I'd give Gabby at least a small chance first...I've got a few things set in motion for her :P
Fili - Evil or crazy? Would I do that to Joey...? Second thought don't answer that lol! But I do hope you like what I've got planned :P
KimmyLove - There's always drama with me involved. Hope you like this stranger I've introduced
CJ4eva - Well I said no one guessed it so I'm happy to say no way in hell is it Angelo - but sadly it's not Joey either :)
Phoenix - Glad you're liking how this story's playing out
Movie249 - Bwa ha ha!! A KNOB!? Ha loves it! :P
Lil20 - Well since you asked so nicely below are all the YouTube links to the songs I've used so far in this fic :P I did only provide the link to Collide as obviously CJ video but I can certainly give you some non-CJ links. If anyone has any special requests of songs let me know :P
Hope more of you pay attention to them lol! It's a pain finding the right song for a chapter. Now I will admit that I haven't actually watched many of these clips 'cause my laptop doesn't like YouTube - seriously everytime I try to load something from YouTube it flicks my laptop off...I think it's trying to tell me something. So anyway I just quickly got these links at work for you so I hope they're all right and I'm not making you watch some awful clips - but I probably am.
Always Love - .com/watch?v=g9NenfO1HWs
When It Comes - .com/watch?v=ybUdMd6umJQ
Playin' With My Heart - .com/watch?v=gVCCjBVDeS0
A Place Called Home - .com/watch?v=KDkxz4fcvJo
Don't Say It's Too Late - .com/watch?v=LmZ6DR_AR_U
Shape of My Heart - .com/watch?v=0dx-hOveXGs
I Don't Know You Anymore - .com/watch?v=kawc6quaSSE
If You're Heart's Not In It - .com/watch?v=mTn_hrgpmPM
Caught in the Middle - .com/watch?v=acRf6EIX4HQ
Now enough of my ramblings - on with the fic :P
"Always Love"
"To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that said
Always Love, hate will get you every time
Always Love, don't wait til the finish line
Slow demands come 'round
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even if you then cross it out
But Always Love, hate will get you every time
Always Love, don't wait til the finish line
Self-directed lives
I want to know what it'd be like to
Aim so high above
Every card that has been dealt you
Always Love
Hate will get you every time
Always love
Hate will get you
I've been held back by something
Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs,
I've been held back by something
Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs.
You said
Hey, you good ones.
Hey, you good ones.
To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me
Always Love, hate will get you every time
Always Love, hate will get you
I've been held back by something
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs,
I've been held back by something
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs
You said..
Hey, you good ones
Hey, you good ones
Hey, you good ones"
Charlie frowned slightly as she turned around to face the new arrival who'd offered to buy her a drink at the bar. Charlie gave the woman the once over, comfortable to admit to herself that the woman in front of her was gorgeous. The woman was tall, with blue eyes, bleach-blonde hair that flowed past her shoulders, and she was evenly tanned.
Charlie couldn't find her voice, so the woman instead smiled and took a seat on the stool next to Charlie, "I'll take your silence as acceptance of my offer," then getting Martha's attention, "Two tequila shots please." Charlie cocked her head to the side, "Didn't happen to notice the fact that I'm not drinking tequila shots?" The woman smirked at her, "I know. The shots are both for me." Martha placed the shots down on the counter, to which the woman told her, glancing at Charlie, "And can you get another round for my new friend?"
Martha looked surprised at the woman's request, and more so as Charlie nodded her okay. Martha had heard the rumours that Joey was back in town so was slightly astonished that Charlie would be sitting at the bar, drinking with another woman. Martha poured Charlie another glass, and placed it in front of her. Martha was disappointed when she was called away by some other patrons as she was curious about this new girl.
Charlie nervously took a sip of her wine, "So do you normally walk into bars and buy girls drinks?" "Course not…well yeah but just the lonely and depressed looking ones," the woman joked, "Sorry I'm new in town and was kinda looking for a place to hang out for a little while. A friend of mine's here but I thought it'd be too early to go surprise her so I figured I could do with a drink and some friendly conversation from a local."
Charlie tilted her head to the side, "Well I guess you're in luck…you managed to find a lonely and depressed girl who's also a local. Some friendly conversation never hurts I guess. I'm Charlie. Charlie Buckton." Charlie struck out her hand to gently shake the girls' hand. The woman downed her first tequila shot before reaching out and shaking Charlie's hand, "Charlie Buckton huh? Well it is nice to meet you. I'm Rebecca Friend."
Charlie stared at Rebecca nervously as she released her hand and took another sip of her drink. Rebecca grinned as she shifted slightly on the stool, "So tell me Charlie…now we're such good friends…what's her name and how bad did she break your heart?"
Charlie stared at Rebecca wide-eyed, "Okay…how could you possibly know…that?" "Well…you're sitting in a bar, drinking alone…either you've got a broken heart or a drinking problem," Rebecca smirked. Charlie creased her eyebrows, "No I meant…how did you know…about the 'her' part?" "You just…seem the type," Rebecca answered, winking at Charlie. "Are you hitting on me?" Charlie asked, surprised by how confident she sounded.
Rebecca grinned goofily, then downed her second shot, before holding her arms up in a playful defensive manner, "Straight as an arrow hun. Sorry to disappoint." Charlie rolled her eyes, "You seem the type." "Aww c'mon don't tell me you're not disappointed," Rebecca teased, "I'm sorry but to answer your question properly about how I knew…I just have really good gaydar. My best friends' gay and I reckon I have better gaydar than she does." "You pegged me…with your gaydar?" Charlie asked anxiously as she took another few sips of her wine.
"Don't look so shocked, you don't hide it well…c'mon I'm kidding. I'm sensing you're not that comfortable talking about this," Rebecca said lightly, "So hey we can talk about something else if you want…or you can always tell me to go annoy someone else if you wish." Charlie stared at the girl curiously, "I'm sorry it's just…I haven't really spoken to anyone about all this. I've never really been good with…opening up about my feelings."
"Well you know what they say…there are some things you can only say to strangers," Rebecca pointed out. Charlie nodded, then taking another sip of wine, "Maybe it might help me to talk to…someone about…everything that I'm confused about. Or not…I'm sorry the last thing you want is to listen to someone's problems." "Do I look busy?" Rebecca asked. Charlie shook her head. "Then c'mon…why don't we go for a walk down at the beach. Seems a better place than here for deep conversation," Rebecca suggested.
A few minutes later, Charlie found herself walking along the beach with Rebecca. It felt odd to just somehow connect with this random girl but Charlie knew she needed to find someway to vent her frustrations about her situation. After spending the afternoon having lunch with Joey, then having Gabby show up and surprise Joey, Charlie was forced to confess to herself how jealous she was of the 'new girl.' While Joey and Gabby both refrained from been too affectionate, Charlie tried to take her jealousy in stride during the meal, but found herself increasingly upset at herself for destroying her relationship with Joey and effectively giving Joey the chance to move on. And she'd taken it.
Rebecca noticed how quiet Charlie was, "Why don't you start by answering the questions I asked earlier…? What's her name and how bad did she break your heart?" Charlie dug her hands into her jeans pockets, "Her name is Joey. And it's not so much how bad she broke my heart…but how bad I broke both our hearts…mine more than hers as it turns out." "Tell me about her," Rebecca whispered.
Charlie continued walking along the woman, then stared over at the ocean, "Joey's the only woman I've ever loved." "Ah…so hence you being shocked when I called you on your sexuality," Rebecca nodded.
"Yeah…I'm not exactly sure what to call myself…so it's a little bit strange when someone labels you," Charlie explained, "Anyway the story is…we met, I fell for her, I freaked, then I told her I loved her and we got together. We got outed almost immediately, then I really freaked and cheated on her. So then I really, really freaked and lied to her about it, but she found out. Then she left…then there was kinda this whole part where I really, really, really freaked and started dating my ex-boyfriend who had been in jail for…and now I'm just freaking you out huh?"
"Every time you add another 'really' I get a little more scared," Rebecca joked. Charlie shrugged, "Yeah well I guess the only thing that matters is that I wasn't ready to accept my feelings for her and I cheated on her. I deserved to lose her." "So is that…how everything ended between you two…? Joey left and you…started dating your ex-boyfriend?" Rebecca asked quietly.
Charlie dragged her sandals through the sand, staring down at her feet, "I broke up with my boyfriend last night…when Joey came back to town." Rebecca frowned, "So you and Joey…? Are you two giving it another shot?"
"No," Charlie snorted, "Joey's happy with her new girlfriend. She's moved on and I…need to accept that. I broke it off with the guy 'cause it wasn't gonna work between us…Joey being back in town just put the final nail in the coffin that used to be our relationship…I knew if I couldn't be with her…I couldn't be with anyone."
"Do you still love her?" Rebecca asked softly.
Charlie stared back out at the ocean, "I never stopped. From the day I met her…God if you really knew me and the way I never fall for anyone much less another woman you might understand why I freaked out when I was first with her. That's weak of me to use that as an excuse I guess. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. I on the other hand deserved the fact that while I was wallowing and wasting my life with a guy I didn't love, she was well and truly moving on.
I kept trying to convince myself that I wasn't still in love with her after she left, but I was kidding myself. It was always about her. I just kept our past relationship and feelings to myself. Like I said I haven't really spoken to anyone about Joey since she left. It's been hard dealing with all my feelings when she hasn't been here and people just thought I'd moved on. When Joey came back to the Bay yesterday, even though she told me she had a new girlfriend, Gabby, and I knew I don't really have another chance with her…I dunno…I guess I couldn't help but hope we might get another chance…"
"So do you think you might have a chance at getting her back?" Rebecca asked curiously.
"I wish I knew," Charlie sighed, "I had to have lunch with the pair of them today. That was really hard to sit there and watch Joey being so happy when I'm not the reason. I know Joey didn't intentionally bring Gabby there to make me jealous. Gabby was really polite and didn't act like she was there to stamp her territory or anything like that. Just made me see while I was just wasting my time with a guy I didn't love I could've been out there trying to fix things with Joey. I know it would take a lot of work…but she's worth it."
"Okay so…hypothetically…" Rebecca took a deep breath, "If Joey did turn around and decided she wanted to be with you…it's just you said when you were first together that you freaked out…would you react that way this time around?"
A small smile curled through Charlie's lips, "No I wouldn't freak out at all. I love Joey enough to get through that for her. The whole being out and open with our relationship…I really feel like I'd be okay with it this time. I was so terrified of people's reactions last time, but when my friends and everyone found out, with the exception of Joey's homophobic brother and some pathetic high school kids, we didn't have anyone come and tell us our relationship is wrong. I know I have the support of the people who matter to me and I really should've focused on that last time instead of worrying about the reactions that no one ended up having. So yeah…right now if Joey gave me a chance…I wouldn't hesitate to stand anywhere and declare my feelings for her."
"Sounds like you've changed quite a bit…grown up a little bit since you got your heart broken," Rebecca mused.
Charlie licked her lips, "Yeah I think I have. I spent too much time worrying about everybody's reactions to my relationship with her and the change in my sexuality when really as long as I'm comfortable with who I am that's all that matters. Gay, bisexual…it's all irrelevant. All I do know is…if I had a second chance with Joey…I'd be proud to be with her. I wouldn't want to hide away or be ashamed of how I feel about her."
"Well it's about time you realized it," Rebecca grinned, then frowning softly, "So…just out of curiosity…Joey moving on with this new girl…are you going to try and fight for Joey?"
Charlie chewed on her lip, "I'm not sure. I mean the idea of not trying at all and just giving up…just doesn't seem right. But if I did try…I could end up losing her forever if I pushed too hard or if…she truly loves her new girlfriend Gabby. I'm happy that she's back in my life but I don't know if being just friends with her will ever be enough. Guess I'll just have to wait and see…but then again she's got a whole new life to get back to and she's only gonna be in town for a few days…"
"So if you have a chance while she's here…you're gonna take it aren't you?" Rebecca summed up. "Look all I want right now is to be friends if that's what Joey wants so…yeah I'll start there…being friends and see where it takes us," Charlie decided. Rebecca nodded, "Well it's a start…just don't get your hopes up…not that I want to be a downer after everything you've told me but…I just think it'd be better or else you'll end up getting your heart broken all over again."
Charlie blinked away several tears, "I guess you're right. However this plays out…I just need to be okay with whatever Joey wants us to be. I can't make her forgive me so we'll just see what happens. I'll start with offering her my friendship and whatever happens…will happen." "Sounds like the right attitude to me," Rebecca agreed, "Anyway…I hope you enjoyed the pep talk but I should probably head over to my friends'…let her know I'm in town."
"Right yes of course. Sorry to keep you…I didn't mean to…ramble about all my problems," Charlie apologised. "Sometimes you need a good ramble to sort through things," Rebecca grinned, "Besides I've had an…interesting evening hanging out with the town's most lonely and depressed resident." Charlie rolled her eyes, "I'm not that bad am I?"
"Yeah well I haven't even gotten to my problems yet…so we'll save that for next time," Rebecca joked. "I might hold you to that," Charlie promised, "So thanks…again for letting me ramble. Might not help but we'll see. So does this mean I might…see you again while you're in town?" "Count on it…somehow I have a feeling our paths are gonna cross while I'm here, Charlie Buckton," Rebecca revealed. Charlie smiled softly, "Then I look forward to crossing paths with you again, Rebecca Friend."
Both women turned around and walked back to the Surf Club car park silently.
Half hour later Rebecca walked up to an apartment. Pulling out a piece of paper with the address written on it to check she'd found the right one. Confirming that she was at the right place, she nervously knocked on the front door. Rebecca chewed on her lip until the door opened, but smiled gently at the girl who had opened it, "Hey Jo!"
"Becca…hey, what are you doing here?" Joey asked happily. Rebecca threw up her hands softly. Joey nodded knowingly, "Ah I get it. I came back to Summer Bay for a little while to help out a friend, Gabby came chasing after me to make sure I was okay and you…came chasing after Gabby."
Rebecca grinned, "You got me. C'mon she's my best friend and we've practically spent less than a few days apart since we were born…just wanted to make sure she was alright. 'Sides you're my friend too and I came here to make sure things were going okay for you in your home town…after all the dramatic and dangerous things you told us happened to you here."
"Well thanks Becca, I'm glad you've come here to check up on the pair of us," Joey smiled, "So how'd you know how to find this place anyway?" Rebecca held up the slip of paper, "Gabs called me and told me you were staying at this guy Aden's place, gave me the address, and she was gonna see if she could crash with you so…figured it was a start." Joey took a step backwards, "Well c'mon in. Aden's being at work all day so he doesn't even know Gabs is here…but I doubt he'll mind either of you being here…long as you don't mind the couch."
"Hey it's all good if you're cool with me just turning up on your door…your friends' doorstop, Jo?" Rebecca replied as she entered the apartment, placing her small backpack on the ground. "Well I can hardly say it's a surprise when you spend so much time hanging out with us…you know you really gotta get yourself a life Rebecca," Joey teased. "Oh very funny," Rebecca blushed, "So…is my BFF here or has she actually gotten sick of you yet?"
"Ooh that hurts Becca," Joey chuckled, miming the action of a knife being stabbed into her heart, "No she's here. Gabs is upstairs asleep. Do you want me to go wake her, let her know you're here?" Rebecca tilted her head, "Nah, I'll just surprise her in the morning. Actually I'm kind of glad we've got a moment to hang out alone."
Joey looked at Rebecca curiously as the girl moved to sit down on the couch, and Joey followed her sitting next to her, "That sounds…vaguely ominous." Rebecca turned to Joey, "Okay look I know what you're going to say but I swear to God it was just a coincidence when I bumped into her. I didn't even know who she was when I sat down next to her at the bar but then she introduced herself and…then we got to talking and…"
"Rebecca calm down…who did you bump into?" Joey asked confused. Rebecca took a deep breath, "Charlie…I bumped into your ex Charlie at Noah's bar. I figured I might find Gabby or you there or at least enjoy a drink with the locals before I made my way over here." Joey nodded softly, "Okay I know it's not like you'd go and harass her on purpose after everything I told you about her and the fact…that I kinda up and took off to help her. So you two…talked?"
Rebecca chewed on her lip, "Yeah the two of us…just randomly got to talking…mostly about you." "Oh…what'd she say?" Joey asked hesitantly. Rebecca turned to look Joey in the eyes, "That she's still in love with you…and she wants to be with you."
***
What are we all thinking about Charlie turning a new leaf and being more open about her feelings? Will she open up to Joey about everything or was it just easy to talk to a random person?
So who here guessed that Rebecca was Gabby's BFF who I oh-so-briefly mentioned in the last chapter?
Oh and do we like her being so honest with Joey at the end there?
Review now :P