Here is the weird chapter. Enjoy.

"Grandpapa!" the young boy bellowed, leaping into Jasper's arms.

Jasper picked him up effortlessly, spinning him around then hugging him, a bright smile on his face.

"Howdy, lil fella!" Jasper said fondly.

"Grandpapa!" the boy scolded. "I've grown a whole two foot!"

"Two feet. C'mon boy. Ya've had schoolin'," Jasper snickered.

"Is Uncle Caius here?" the boy asked excitedly, looking behind the halfling to the shadows where the Cullens stood.

"No. Uncle Caius ain't here," Jasper said, gesturing for his vampire family to come out. "But Uncle Edward is, and so is his fam'ly."

"Our family, Jazz," Edward said seriously as he and the others came out.

"Wow! They sparkle like you do when you go all crazy!" the boy said.

Jasper let his skin harden and his heart stop, and the sunrays beamed off of his skin like diamonds. The boy jumped up and down excitedly.

"Yeah! Like that!"

"Is the neighbors over?"

"Naw. It's just fam'ly."

"Good. Then Carlisle and t'other vampires can come on in," Jasper said with a smile then paused and growled, turning to the forest and crossing his arms. "Martin, go tell Grandmamma that we're here."

"Yessah," the boy said, dashing off toward the house.

Jasper's eyes narrowed. "Mary Alice, y'all betta not be sneakin' off ta see the son of a bitch bastard that Ah done told ya seventeen tahmes to stop seein'."

"Ugh!" said a very female voice as she stormed out of the forest, glaring at him.

"How did she—?" Carlisle gasped; they hadn't even smelled or heard her.

"Does Alice May know you stole her favorite purple shirt?" Edward asked quietly.

"Can it, asshole!" the teenaged girl barked. "And you, ageless freak, I'm old 'nuff to make my own decisions. Baxter loves me!"

"He loves the thought a you naked and havin' sex with him!" Jasper boomed. "You is only seventeen years old! That age was fahne and dandy when Ah was a boy, but that wuz a differnt age! A child actually had 'sponsibilities an' chores! Mah sister 'n' Ah took care a twenty-two animals and she still went ta school! After makin' all our clothes and cookin' and cleanin' the whole cabin!"

"Aw, boo hoo," Mary Alice mocked. "You had a hard childhood. Well, my childhood sucks, too!"

"And why is that?" Jasper demanded. "You got hot meals, a soft bed, air in the summer, heat in the winter, and the finest education ya can possibly want. You could make a career a goin' ta school if'n ya wanted to! We'd support ya doin' it! But instead all ya wanna do is run off with some boy that's as smart as an ostrich! So tell meh, how does yer childhood suck?"

"Because I'm related to you!"

Jasper snorted, marched right up to her, and threw her over his shoulder. "Your grandmamma will have words with you."

Panic exploded in her face. "No! I'm sorry, Grandpapa! Don't tell her!"

"Oh, Ah'm tellin' her," Jasper said firmly. He looked to his vampire family. "Come on. Ah'll show ya Alice's house."

They followed in shock. They'd never seen Jasper act so much like…well, like Carlisle! They were a little weirded out, except Edward, who was walking slightly behind Jasper to talk with Mary Alice.

"You really shouldn't test him like that. He's only looking out for you."

She snorted. "No! I should be able to live my life the way I want."

"Well then," Jasper said. "As soon as ya turn eighteen, you can get on the first bus outta here 'n' never come back if'n that's what you want."

"It is! I'm gonna go find Stacy and live with her!"

"Good luck with that," Jasper replied blandly.

Jasper went right into the house to find Alice May smiling. She saw the human teenager and the smile dropped off her face.

"Go to your room before I sear your ass off right here," Alice said darkly.

"Yes, Grandmamma," Mary Alice said, suddenly not so brave. She was set on the floor and she ran up the stairs. They all heard her lightly close her door then sobs.

"I swear I'm going to kill that girl if she doesn't grow up soon," the pixie-like twin said with a shake of her head.

"Kids don't grow up near as fast as they used ta," Jasper muttered.

"I know what you mean," Carlisle said.

"How old are you?" Alice asked, narrowing her eyes.

Carlisle thought about it a moment. "Three hundred seventy-six."

"Well then you've seen the decline more than we have."

"There wasn't much of a decline until the 1900s," Carlisle said. "That's when the teenager began to emerge, though it didn't really take complete control until the 1950s."

"True," Alice said thoughtfully then shook her head. "Where are my manners? Edward, I made some of your favorite lemonade."

"Just like Mother used to make?" Edward asked with a grin.

"Yep."

"Yum!"

Edward and Jasper walked into the kitchen, leaving Alice with her new family. She, unlike Jasper, seemed totally at ease with them.

"Can I get you any blood?"

"Oh! Um, what kind?" Carlisle asked, fazed by the odd way that it seemed natural for her to say that.

"We have deer, wolf, rabbit, coyote, mountain lion, and bobcat."

"Really?" Emmett asked in surprise.

"Yes. No bear, sorry. They don't tend to run on the plains of Texas," Alice said with a smile. "Edward's favorite is mountain lion, which we have plenty running around here. We brought a wolf pack down here for Jazz, and I love bobcat, so…yeah. Anyway, what do you want?"

"Who drinks rabbit?" Rosalie said with a wrinkled nose.

"Whitey. He considers them a delicacy. Jazz and I don't mind them, but it is definitely an acquired taste. One which Edward has yet to acquire. Isn't that right, Eddy?" Alice teased, eyes glittering in amusement.

"I don't think I'm going to acquire it, A.M.," Edward said, shaking his head with a smile as the two male halflings came out of the kitchen with glasses of lemonade. "I mean, it's been at least eighty years since I first tried it."

Alice snorted. "You try them once in a blue moon. You need to consistently drink it."

"I'd rather have cooked rabbit."

"Good, 'cuz that's what we're having for dinner."

"You peeked."

Alice ginned. "Yes. Yes, I did. Now, what do you want?"

"Mountain lion," Edward said immediately, smiling at her.

"Bloodied lemonade?" Alice teased. Edward nodded. "Fine. The rest of you?"

"Coyote," Carlisle said.

"Bobcat?" Esme asked.

"Mountain lion," Emmett and Rosalie said at the same time.

"Jazzy?"

Jasper stared at her, his eyes dark. "Nope."

"Okay."

She returned with literal glasses of blood, throwing the vampires for a loop. They took the glasses, staring at them strangely.

"What did you expect? Dead animals?" Edward snickered, mixing his drinks together.

"I…I'm not sure what I expected," Carlisle admitted. "But a glass of blood? Even the sound of that is…odd."

"Once you get past the fact that you can't sink your teeth into anything, it's a rather pleasant way to drink it," Edward said.

There was a soft noise, and everybody turned to see Mary Alice. Alice's face lost its pleasantness, and she watched silently as the girl walked over. The human held out what looked to be the shirt she'd been wearing.

"You've been in my closet again," Alice growled.

"Yes, Grandmamma."

"You get no supper tonight. Go get two bottles of water then go straight back up to your room. We will discuss this tonight before bed."

"Yes, Grandmamma."

"And apologize to your Grandpapa," Alice said. "He told me what you said. He was just trying to help."

Tears glittering in her eyes, she went and embraced Jasper. "I'm sorry, Grandpapa."

"S'okay, baby girl." He tilted her chin up. "We's just lookin' out fer ya. Promise meh ya won't go and see that asshole anymore."

Her face pinched. "But…" she trailed off then buried her face in Japer's chest. "Okay."

"Good girl. Now y'all listen ta yer grandmamma. Go on now."

She didn't move. Alice lightly pried her off Jasper and sent Mary Alice on her way. When she came through with the water, she was stopped by the shorter female.

"I'll send Jasper up to you in an hour or so, okay?"

"Thanks."

Alice nodded and let her go. She turned and sighed when the girl was up in her room.

"Why are you going to send Jasper up there? To spank her?" Esme asked.

"No. I'm usually the one who does the spanking," Alice said. "Jasper's the one who holds the shotgun at weddings."

There was a burst of laughter as the vampires sipped on their blood. Edward snorted.

"She's not kidding," he said, taking a drink of his bloodied lemonade.

The laughter stopped and Carlisle blinked. "Seriously?"

"If'n the young idiot who's a marryin' mah granddaughter decided ta get her pregnant out a wedlock, then yes. Ah hold the shotgun. Ta his head if'n Ah have ta. Ain't that rahght, Scotty boy?" he called as the door opened.

The three adults, two females and one male, froze when they saw the Cullens as the kids ran for Jasper and Edward then the male blinked at Jasper.

"What's right?"

Jasper mimed pumping a shotgun, and the human's face turned bright red. "Heh, yeah, that's right. Right here," he said, pointing to his temple.

"That's rahght," Jasper said with a nod. "And y'all have been happily married for eight years now."

"I'm surprised we have more than one kid," Scott's wife laughed. "He was so scared that Jasper was going to bust down the door of our honeymoon suite that he couldn't get it up!"

Alice and Edward laughed as the Cullens stared in shock. Scott blushed.

"Eh, he's not so bad now," Scott said. "He's actually nice. When you're doing what your supposed to be," he added with a smile at his in-law.

Jasper nodded his approval. "Y'all got that rahght, too. Now, come meet the rest a Edward's fam'ly."

"Jazz," Edward scolded again. "Our family."

Jasper shrugged, and they began introductions. By the time they were all introduced, more people showed up. This trend continued for a good hour, and they had soon moved outside. Mary Alice was allowed down if she promised to behave, and the rest of the family welcomed her with open arms. Everybody was having a good time. Everybody, that is, except…

"Is Jasper alright?" Carlisle asked Alice.

"He just doesn't socialize very much. He's a repressed individual," she replied. "But may I tell you a secret?"

Carlisle nodded. "If it doesn't embarrass anybody."

Alice frowned. "It embarrasses Jasper, but I think you should know." Carlisle considered this then nodded. "He doesn't fit in anywhere. Not back when we were children, not in the armies he was in, not even here with the family. The only place I've ever seen him fit in is with you and Mom and Em and Rose and Eddy. Yeah, there's Caius, but Whitey has his own life. He's usually not himself, but with you? Oh, he's so free."

"He is?" Esme asked, coming up with Emmett and Rosalie. They had been listening from a distance, but couldn't resist coming over.

"He doesn't seem like that to me," the large boy replied. "He's so quiet and, oh, I don't know, hesitant? about spending time with us."

"But, at the very least, you've heard him cry. Carlisle and Esme have seen him cry. Let me tell you something. Jasper doesn't cry. Ever. He doesn't talk about what Father did to us. He doesn't talk about his nightmares. He doesn't go out in public with people, except to restaurants. He doesn't do much of anything with people. He's gone to the theatre with you, Carlisle. He's gone shopping with Esme and Rose. He plays video games with Emmett. He never does any of that stuff, save with me and Caius and Edward. Do you know what that means?"

Carlisle hummed. "What?"

"It means he's starting to give you his trust. He's only done that twice, with Caius and Edward. He's trusted me since we were little because we only had each other, what with our mother dead from when we were three and our father lost in a whiskey bottle. That he is starting to trust an entire family is shocking. You have to make this work. We need a daddy and a mommy. Especially him. He was turned at nineteen. He's technically younger than me, though he'll never admit it. I had more time to mature than he did."

Carlisle nodded. "I understand. We're certainly not going to reject him."

"Charlie Oldham, you know he can here you!" Edward suddenly shouted.

"Who cares? He's a pathetic excuse for a human being! He shouldn't even come here anymore! He's a monster! A monster!"

Alice blurred away from them and grabbed the offender's shirt. "Say that about my brother again, Charles! Either that or apologize to your grandpapa!"

The man paled. "Sorry, Grandmamma. I'll apologize to him"

Emmett suddenly stiffened, staring strangely at the small halfling. He turned to look at Jasper, but he was gone. Edward hurried over. "He went to his house. He knows when he's not wanted." Alice was currently yelling at the man who had driven the boy away. Edward spread his mind out to his family, and they could hear words ringing through their mind that weren't being said. She was really restraining herself.

'Alice? We're going after Jazz.'

There was a single sharp nod, but she didn't break away from her tirade. The Cullens blurred away from the area, but once they were in the forest, Edward slowed.

"Why are we slowing down?" Esme asked.

"I think it wise to give Jasper a chance to be alone for a few minutes," Edward replied.

Emmett frowned. "I have a question."

"About?"

"Well…I don't want to offend anybody."

"What question could possibly offend us?"

"Um, okay. I'll ask. Have you guys noticed that Alice called Jasper her brother?"

Edward stiffened, speeding up a little and letting Emmett know he was on the right track, though if he was right, it was so very wrong.

"Well, yes, he is her brother. Her twin brother," Carlisle said.

"Well, the grandkids call Jasper Grandpapa, and Alice Grandmamma."

"So?" Rosalie asked in confusion.

Emmett frowned, looking for a way to put it nicely. He finally gave up. "Edward, did this family start because Jasper got Alice pregnant?"

Edward took off like a bullet, leaving his family in the dust. They stared after him for about half a minute before taking off after him. They got to a rather nice looking house. There were clearly no powerlines leading to it, and there was the glow of a fire in the window. They could hear that strange tongue being spoken rather heatedly in the house. Carlisle got to the door and knocked hesitantly. Jasper opened it, his face blank, then stepped aside to let them in. They filed into the room to find an old fashioned looking cabin-like interior, though there were clearly more rooms than just the one they were in. Carlisle liked it immensely.

"Oh, this is nice. I like it!" the British vampire said happily. "Very basic, no electricity, lovely fireplace. Just what I remember from my childhood. A little more rustic, but good overall."

Jasper couldn't help but smile in a very pleased way. "Thanks. Ah lahkes it mahself. Reminds meh of the tahmes Alice and me would sit in the cabin in rockin' chairs, her a sewin' and meh carvin' wood."

"You carve wood?"

"Ah have a knack fer it, yeah."

"Did you carve this?" Esme asked, running her hands along a wooden rocking chair.

"Ah made all the furniture in this house. Didn't make the bathtub or nothin' lahke that, but Ah made the tables 'n' the beds 'n' the couches 'n' the chairs."

"Impressive," Carlisle said, reaching over to rub his head fondly. Jasper didn't flinch quite as far back as he usually did, and his smile was pleased.

"Thankee kindly, Carlisle." His face lost his joy. "Em? You guessed it."

The room went silent. "You…did your own sister?" Emmett asked in horror.

"Not by choice."

"What do you mean not by choice?!" Emmett demanded. "How is that not a choice?!"

"Well, when yer Father gots a shotgun pointed at yer sister's head and wants to see her a writhin' what are ya s'posed ta do? Let her head get blown off?" Jasper asked harshly, tears glittering in his eyes. "It ain't lahke a wanted ta sleep with her! She's mah sister! Ah love her, but not in that way, an' Ah'll neva love her in that way!"

Carlisle and Esme wrapped their arms around him, shushing him gently. Jasper eagerly soaked up the comfort, crying in pain.

"The-the worst part was that mah body lahked it. Ah was cryin', but mah body liked it!" Jasper sobbed.

"Hush," Carlisle said softly. "It's all over. You couldn't help it. No doubt you were young and hadn't ever felt that before. It's okay."

"So she got pregnant?" Esme asked.

"We had twins, but Rosie didn't last the year. She was a weak baby. Wouldn't suckle half the tahme. Father wuz dead by the tahme Alice had 'em, so he neva knew. Barrett grew up nice 'n' strong, even if he was a lil slow. Gots married to Belle Rogers. They had seven kids. Three pairs was twins. Five boys 'n' two girls."

Jasper paused. "Ah didn't get to see it, though. When Ah was almost seventeen, we needed money, sos Ah went off ta join the Confederate army. Ah sent nearly all a mah money down ta mah sister. 'Course Maria found and changed meh. Ah didn't stop sending money. Ah just sent it a differnt way. Ah stole it off the human bodies. Three years inta hell, Ah was s'posed ta be chasin' down a traitor, and Ah caught him easy. Ah hurried home and changed Alice. Within two days, she wuz a halflin', but Ah couldn't celebrate, and hurried back inta hell sos Maria wouldn't kill her. Ah didn't get ta see 'em again for twenty-seven years."

The halfling sighed and broke away from the embraces of his family. "Maybe if'n Ah had been there for 'em those first years, Ah wouldn't be such an outcast with mah own flesh and blood."

"Jazz. You've never belonged with them," Edward said gently. "They love you, though. Don't you doubt that. They just don't understand you. You're a traveler at heart. And they know that. But now you want to settle down, and you've missed so much of their lives that you're a stranger to them."

"Ah's a stranger ta y'all, too," Jasper argued. "Yet yer more willin' ta take meh in than they are."

"Jazz?" Rosalie said softly.

"What?"

"My mother always taught me growing up that there are some places a lady doesn't belong."

"So?"

"That applies to individuals as well. Just like vampires don't belong in human crowds, you don't belong with your family. Visiting is nice every once in a while, sure. But overall? You need somebody who will understand you."

"And y'all think ye'll understand meh?"

"Well, that accent is hard," Emmett said with a grin. "But I think we're starting to get ya."

Jasper laughed, relaxing; he hadn't even known he was tense. "Maybe y'all're just what Ah need. Ya certainly seem ta be." Jasper hesitated. "But that don't take 'way all mah fear. Ah'm sorry, Carlisle."

"We'll work on it," Carlisle promised. "Now, how about a nice hunt? That blood I had earlier didn't quite satisfy me."

"That's because you didn't sink your teeth into something to get it," Edward laughed.

"Huntin' sounds nahce," Jasper said. "Ah know where the lions are this tahme a year."

"Awesome! Carnivores sound great!" Emmett exclaimed.

They walked out and took off into the growing darkness, and Jasper felt the bonds of family. They were still rather weak, but they were there. And that made tears sting his eyes. But he didn't say anything from the front of the group. Words were unneeded.