DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I don't own Glee or Pretty Little Liars (it would be awesome though). I don't own all of the characters but I DO own the majority of this story line.
Chapter Ten
We walk into the empty bathroom and I race to one of the clean stalls, surprising Santana. It doesn't take me long, but as I go to wash my hands San is already sat on the counter. She looks miserable and forlorn, as if she'd been alone all night. I realize that I can relate entirely. All the company in the world means nothing if there's someone else on your mind.
Santana is that someone else on my mind.
I wonder if the feeling's mutual..
X
Santana POV
"So you're back?" It comes out quiet, really quiet, but I refuse to lift my head. I refuse to show her just how hurt and vulnerable I am. It's been two weeks, two excruciating weeks, with as little as a glance. I know it may seem like no big deal but to go from talking to each other and hanging out everyday to not talking at all, it kills a person. It killed me.
"I never left." She's just as quiet and even though I haven't looked up yet I know that she's studying me. Looking right through me, trying to figure out what's going on beneath the surface, past the hard exterior I try to put on.
"Well, you were gone. Are you okay?" Finally looking up at her I see that she has no idea what I'm talking about. "I'm only asking because you never answered my texts or calls. Hell, you didn't even have the decency to come to me afterwards. I had no idea what was going on. God, I was so damn worried about you, Aria."
"I needed to clear my head." Is all she offers.
Clear your head? Clear your head?! Really?! I want to scream. With each passing second I can feel myself getting more and more upset. I really don't want to lose my cool. We're supposed to be "fixing" things, whatever that means, and the last thing I want to do right now is scare her. And I'd be willing to bet a dozen pairs of my sexy ass heels that if Snix decides to make an appearance, scaring her will be the least of my worries. Shit, maybe hurting her.
I mean I can rock anything, so jail stripes would be fine, but... I'm not about that life.
Auntie Coco is about that life.
God, Aria is so frustrating sometimes.
"Okay, well are you clear now? Do you know what you want?" It comes out a lot harsher than I intended, and shit, so much for "calm and reasonable". This is going down hill fast.
"Well... I kinda invited Brody tonight-."
I cut her off almost instantly.
"Oh, okay, I see. So that's what you want then, Ar? Brody? Greasy, Nip/Tuck, Abercrombie wearing, Plastic Von Schwarzenegger?" Yeah, I'm losing this battle.
Maybe I'm not giving the guy enough credit but he creeps me out, there's something about him that's off, and plus, he's... "handsy". I've caught him groping Aria an unhealthy amount of times tonight alone (as well as a couple other RuPaulish looking females, but I sure hope no one tells Aria that... haha, crash and burn Brody.) and by this point all I want to do is break his fucking wrists.
"San-"
"Like seriously, he's some kind of freakish Botox mutation!"
"Santana, can you-"
"And I swear he bathes in Eau de Parfum or something. It's like some kind of bad rerun of the Adam's Family, 90210!"
"Shut up!" Aria suddenly yells, slamming her hand hard on the wall of the bathroom stall behind her, and I jump.
I jump hard.
"Will you please just let me fucking speak?!" She shouts in exasperation. I've never, in all my time of knowing her, seen Aria actually get angry before.
"Hey! I'm trying to concentrate in here!" Someone yells suddenly from inside one of the stalls. Aria's eyes go wide, anger dissolving in amazement in the span of a second, and I nervously scuff my heel in front of me, trying my hardest not to laugh.
"Umm, sorry...?" Aria calls back awkwardly, running a hand through her hair. "Should- um, do you know how long you'll be?"
"Well, I had Lamb Curry for dinner and now I'm shitting out a Buick! Could... Be... Awhile..." The woman says brokenly between grunts and splashes. Definitely, not a pleasant experience for any of the parties involved.
Aria turns back to me, and although her face is amused, beneath she smile lines there's exhaustion and sadness. She looks at me expectantly, when I don't say anything she rolls her eyes. "I- Santana... you know I didn't mean to yell at you." She speaks forcefully, in a considerably lower tone. "It's just... Brody, he's just- Brody..."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I've just been so used to filling in the blanks myself. YOU kiss ME, and then fall of the face of the earth." It's a harsh whisper.
Her eyes widen in disbelief, and she opens her mouth to argue when suddenly the toilet flushes (twice) and we both fall silent, shooting each other angry glances.
The stall door opens and a woman steps out. She's tiny, very thin, and not the least bit embarrassed about what just went down behind the stall door that's not too far from Aria. She hastily washes her hands (getting water everywhere might I add. I'm scooted so far into the wall that I'm practically hugging it), and then shakily turns around giving Aria the good ol' up-down and a crooked, flirty smile. Like clockwork, my jaw clenches, my arms cross, and I stare blankly past the two, but not before rolling my eyes.
Aria shuffles nervously as she tries to bob and weave around the woman so that we can get on with our conversation. The woman finally gets the hint and quickly shuffles, or rather stumbles, out of our space. Once the door closes, Aria moves closer to where I'm sitting.
"I spent days thinking about you, Aria. Days." I accuse pathetically.
She steps forward and turns to face me, placing her hands on my knees and stares up at me with those big hazel eyes of hers. They leave me weak every time. I can feel myself caving in, slowly being taken over by her spell. I look away because I just can't deal with this right now. She has to know that what she did wasn't cool. What she did hurt.
Santana doesn't get hurt.
"Santana? Santana, please look at me..." Aria's voice is pleading, and the soft palms of her hands gently caress my cheeks, the pads of her thumbs wiping away tears that I didn't even know had fallen. I look up to her slowly and my fucking god those eyes are reading my soul.
Wait. I have a soul?
"I thought about you every second that I stayed away..." Aria begins in a guilty whisper. "But I also thought of the consequences, the questions from our friends, society... my parents."
Her parents? How is that even a valid argument? And why is she so stuck on what other people think? God I've got to tutor this girl in the fine arts of not giving a fuck.
"Your parents? Who cares about what other people think, Aria?!"
She shakes her head, "Let's face it, things can't go back to the way they were. Things need to change."
"Yeah, well, they already have." And with that, I jump off of the counter and make my way to the door. I pause briefly, I don't know why but I do. The air in the room suddenly becomes dense. The sob that I've been holding back since we've entered this grungy little room finally escapes.
"Santana?" I feel her small hand on my shoulder but I don't turn around.
I shake her hand off of me and leave her standing in the dimly lit room, not giving myself the chance to look back and be drawn back into her intoxicating trap.
I've said what I had to say.
X
Pushing past people in the crowd, I enter the enclosed bar area and grab my purse. I look over to the three shots lined in front of Devyn and take one, then another, but just as I reach out to grab the third, Devyn swats my hand away and downs the last on herself.
"Excuse me?" I call to the guy behind the bar. "Yeah, um- can I get about," I have to think about it for a second. On a scale from one to ten, how many bitches do I want to introduce to the spawn of Lima Heights Adjacent right now? Hmm... I'd say maybe... 8? Yeah. 8 sounds about right, "Can I have 8 shots of tequila, sir? With salt and lime." He raises an eyebrow in disbelief, like I'm totally unaware of what I just asked.
"Eight shots?" He asks incredulously. "Of tequila?"
"Yes, David Ginola, of tequila. Have you not heard of it?" I snap. Ahhh, welcome home Snix.
"Well, technically, it's against state law." He begins apologetically. "I can't serve you that much all at once. You would get drunk and I could lose my job."
State law? What the hell? Isn't the point of going to a bar to get drunk? That's why we come here right?
"Look, It's been a long week-."
"It's Monday." He interrupts.
"It's been a long life then, Davie, whatever." I emphasize with the roll of my eyes, "and right now, I just want to get D-R-U-N-C-K. Drunk. Got it?"
"Seems like you're already pretty close Santana..." Devyn mumbles beside me, and I silence her with a glare.
"No, I don't think you "got it", lady. So, let me break it down for you. I. Could. Lose. My. Job." He's practically yelling as he leans over the bar and stabs the air with each word, only inches away from my face.
"Beats losing your goddamn arm!" I snap, grabbing his wrist.
"Santana!" Devyn scolds from behind me.
A few patrons further down see to take this as their cue to leave, and hastily gather up their things before filing out silently.
"Hey, you didn't pay!" He calls after one of them, but said offender apparently never looks back, because he curses under his breath and glares back at me irritably.
"Miss." He growls, easily snatching his arm back from my liquor-weakened grasp. "I'm going to have to ask you to step back from the bar, and refrain from touching me, otherwise I'll have to get Security up here."
"Sir, please." Devyn speaks up, her voice suddenly light and sugary, tracing one of her nails lightly up his arm which is resting on the bar cushion. "My friend here is really having a bad night." She pouts and looks up through her eyelashes, the pure image on innocent seduction. "Is there anyway you could... just do us a tiny little favor? Just this once?"
The guy's face doesn't even change. "Ma'am, I'm sorry. But there's nothing I can do for you." He pulls his arm away slightly, and Devyn's sweet smile falters briefly before refixing itself once more.
"Well tell me, what's this... legal limit, anyway?" She asks, changing tactics. I'm just standing there like a useless lump on a log.
"Four." He says shortly.
"Ah-ha." She says. "How about this? Four shots for me, four for my girl here, and we'll go drink them outside and leave you to your night?" She smiles, and I smile too. The girl's a genius.
"Alright. Alright." He puts his hands up in mock defense. I nod and catch a glimpse of a very pissed off Quinn storming towards me, Emily getting dragged behind her. Are they- they are! Holy shit they're holding hands!
The door slams open about as fast as it can, considering air pressure and all, and she steps up very close to me, leaving Emily to stand awkwardly behind her.
"Hey Dev." Emily says quietly.
"Sup?" Dev returns with a tight smile.
Quinn glares into my eyes, simmering. "Care to explain to me why Aria just came out of the ladies room bright red and wiping her eyes?" She hisses.
I glance down at their interwoven fingers and smirk, "Hello Fabgay." I pause and look over her shoulder. "Other lesbian." Em nods in greeting. "Care to explain to me why you two are holding hands?"
Devyn mumbles, "You did not just- oh my god." I quickly turn to face her and harshly put my pointer finger to my lips telling her to be quiet. She rolls her eyes and takes a swig of the beer that the bartender so generously placed in front of her.
Quinn shoots me a signature glare I remember from my high school days, and I smile sweetly.
"That little bitch face isn't gonna scare me Q. I was a Cheerio too, remember?" Quinn says nothing, and so to demonstrate I hop up onto my tiptoes as best as I can in these heels, and clap in fake excitement. "L-G-B-T, come out of the closet please! You're gay! Y-Y- you're gay! Yay!" I shake imaginary pom-poms, and both the bartender and Devyn snort in laughter behind me. Quinn just shakes her head, and Emily turns away, hiding the blush that quickly crept to her cheeks.
Mr. Bartender sits four shots on the counter in front of me, and four in front of Devyn, with a little tray with salt and wedged limes between us. I nod in thanks and quickly down three of the shots in a row.
"Santana?" Quinn's stares at me expectantly. I offer her the most fake smile I can muster and do two more shots, stealing one from Dev's row, with Emily staring at me, eyes wide. I don't know why she's so surprised. I mean it's not like it's the first time she's seen me drink.
It is the first time she's seen Snix drink, though, and maybe I'd do well to remember that.
"We saw the two of you go into the bathroom together."
I nod encouragingly. "Yep, uh-huh, totally giving fucks here." Up goes the glass. "Please, continue."
Quinn rolls her eyes. "Add that with Aria crying, and the fact that something has been seriously off between the two of you for a while now, and the result is that something's up. So spill."
"Nothing to spill." I frown in mock apology and gather up my purse and cell phone. "Except you, Fabgay. You've got lots to spill, don't you?"
Quinn's eyes widen, and Devyn covers her laughter as she lays her money down on the counter and gets up to follow me out the door. "Enjoy the closet!" I call behind me, and then we're immersed in the club once more, leaving Quemily and their mutual shock in the dust.
The alcohol is really beginning to have an effect on me. I don't know how many drinks I've had tonight, though looking back on it now... I probably shouldn't have taken all 8 shots so quickly. And there I was making fun of Kurt only hours before.
"Whoa, are you okay?" Devyn asks as I stumble into a nearby pillar, kicking over a chair in my path as I go. I push past Devyn, roughly hooking my arm through my purse.
"Look, I just have to get out of here. I have to go." I stagger through the crowd, Devyn hot on my heels, until suddenly all the noise in the room goes numb and mute in my head, nothing but a needling buzz in the center of my mind, and the lights around me dim into a spotlight, highlighting my nightmares. I see them across the room.
Aria is perched on Brody's lap, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist, with her head rested on his shoulder. My ears seem to have gone deaf, and everything in front of my eyes it kind of unsteady and tilting, but I can tell that she is crying. Brody is slowly running his hand up and down her back and I can't help but feel like the biggest ass in the world right.
I did that.
Faintly I hear Devyn yelling my name, but I'm so entranced in the scene before me it barely registers. Aria looks up and begins to caress his thigh, and I feel like I'm going to throw up. A hand shakes me roughly by the arm, and suddenly the crashing of the rave comes rushing back in a dizzying roar, almost shattering my ears. I shake my head weakly. "I've gotta go." I whine pitifully, as though I've just made the realization, and I pull my arm from Devyn's light grip, staggering across the bucking floor, through the pinwheeling lights, and toward the lurching metal doors of the club entrance.
Wow, this sounds like Dora, doesn't it? ACROSS the floor, THROUGH the lights, TOWARDS the door, Hahahaha Oh my fucking God I'm losing it.
The cool California air hits my hot, tear stained face, and I reach up subconsciously and touch my wet cheek. I hadn't even known I was crying. God, get it together Santana! It's half past one in the morning but the line is just as long, if not longer than the similar formation we were standing in only hours ago. I begin to make my way to the parking lot, ignoring all of the catcalls and whistles.
Devyn calls out from somewhere behind me, but I don't stop. I just... can't. I reach my bike and stagger, tripping into my prized possession and nearly knocking it over. "Shit." I mutter.
"Santana!" Devyn pulls me back, spinning me, forcing me to look at her. "Talk to me." I lean back and pointedly look everywhere but her. Did the sidewalk always have cracks? "Please?" Her voice begs somewhere in the distance. When the fuck did sidewalks start having cracks? "Santana!" Louder now.
I look up at her and try to look irritated, but a giggle escapes anyhow. Devyn raises a questioning eyebrow. "Tehe... Cracks." I snort.
Devyn just sighs and rolls her eyes. "Let me drive you home, You're drunk."
"I'm buzzed." I correct automatically. "There's a difference." My chest begins to buzz, followed by a very familiar ringtone, Aria's ringtone, but I ignore it. Whatever it is, it can wait. Aria who?
Not long after the buzzing stops, it picks up again... and again... and again. I guess third time's the charm though, because after that the calls cease. Just as I let out a breath of relief, the phone begins to buzz again. I reach into the top of my dress, totally feeling my self up in search of said phone. You'd think it would be an easy task, but God and Doctor Dwarfman (No relation to Rachel) have blessed me with a very generous set of twins (If you know what I mean). So yes. I'm struggling.
"I know it's not my place and that they always say that the heart wants what it wants and all, but... Why her? Why is she worth the fight? You've been bending over backwards trying to please this chick. Writing letters and shit, Dude, no one does that anymore. And where has that got you?"
I give her a dismissive shrug. This really isn't the time. "You're standing outside of a club, with your ass cheeks hanging out, crying because once again, she's upset you. It's not okay." I huff and pull down the hem of my dress. Last thing I want to do is pull a Britney Spears. The public is so not ready for that hot mess. "So, why?" she continues. "Why is she so important? You told me and I quote: 'I don't do relationships. They're too messy, full of emotions, and then one of you ends up hurting like hell. It's like a bitch on her period. Who needs that shit? I don't.' Yet, here you are."
I ignore her snarky, bitchy impersonation and continue to rummage for my phone, which has long since stopped buzzing. Once I find it, I stare at the phone for a minute, for no other reason than I'd done all that adjustment work to get it it had sure as hell better make the fight worth it. Like magic, it lights up again, the sudden buzz startling me, and I nearly drop it.
INCOMING CALL- ARIA. I look up, and Devyn shoots me a look that's a curious mixture of concern and irritation. I shrug my shoulders and before I take a deep breath, finger hover over the two options, 'answer' and 'ignore.' I smile in satisfaction.
Call ignored.
I stare down at the phone for a minute before turning my attention back to my friend. I mean I suppose you could call her that. She's been there for me or whatever, I guess. Much like Aria, Devyn gets me and doesn't put up with my crap. Enough said. The only difference is that I don't see her the way I see Aria, at all. Yeah, Devyn is smokin' hot and funny as hell and a good listener (She's lent an ear numerous times in the short amount of time we've known each other), but I could never be with her. Like, "be with her" be with her. We would never work out. We're too much a like.
"I'll um... text you. Okay? Later, I'll text you." Before she can protest I grab my leather jacket and helmet from the back of my bike and gear up, slipping in my earphones and hitting shuffle before I putting on my helmet and slipping my phone in my front jacket pocket. I feel Devyn's fingers grasp at my jacket, but I jerk my arm away and wave her away.
I turn the key in the ignition and the hum of the engine drowns out what ever it is that Devyn proceeds to say. Looking over my shoulder, I see that her arms are flailing and her eyes seem like they are going to pop out of her head at any moment, but I can't hear a thing she is saying. Actually, if I'm being 100 percent honest, I don't really want to hear it either. No offense to her or anything.
Whose bright idea was it for me to wear a dress and drive a motorcycle?
Oh right... mine.
In hindsight, I probably should have gotten a taxi or something.
Yeah... Welp: Too late now, it seems.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Devyn's hand reaching toward me again, and I propel the bike forward a few feet, out of her reach. The loud grinding screech reminds me of what I'd forgotten before.
I kick the kickstand back and shift in the familiar seat, trying to remain balanced. It's kind of hard when I've been knocking back drinks all night like Floyd Mayweather. Not gonna lie, maybe I am more than just a little buzzed. Eh, let bygones be bygones, or whatever the say.
I give Devyn a small wave and kick off of the sidewalk. I see her hands go up to her face, and as I speed off in the opposite direction of the city, I wonder vaguely why she's crying.
X
Somehow I end up on the beach.
Yep. The same beach that Aria and I walked on only hours before everything turned upside down.
It's so bizarre.
I don't really know how long I've been here, silently regarding the dark-foamed waves as they lap against the shore, wondering why life was so easy for them... but I do know that from where I'm sitting, there's something else I can see quite clearly; something I wish I couldn't. The Santa Monica Pier- or, more importantly, the Ferris wheel of doom- stands dark and obstinate, silhouetted against the lighter, purple-gray background of the night sky.
Note to self: Start looking for other beaches.
On top of that, my ornery phone decided to add insult to injury and shuffle in every sad (or semi-sad) song on the planet, making even my back-up safe haven- listening to music- unenjoyable. As if my night wasn't sad enough. I don't even know why half of this stuff is on my phone to begin with. When have I ever felt in need of love before?
Give me love, like her... 'cause lately I've been waking up alone. Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt, told you I'd let them go, and that I'll fight my corner. Maybe tonight I'll call ya, after my blood... turns into alcohol.
No, I just wanna hold ya.
Well, apparently I have. If only Ed Sheeran could see me now. I angrily wipe away the relentless tears that just refuse to cease. Like really? I know I've broken my rule of never giving fucks countless times in the last month or so, but I still have to ask: Since when did I ever cry over a girl? I'm Santana Diabla Lopez. I cry over no one. Okay, we'll technically I did cry over Brittany... but that's different. We were best friends. We ARE best friends.
Who knew that a quick little kiss, stolen on the Ferris wheel, would lead to a whole ball of emotions that I didn't even know I was capable of? I mean yeah, Brit and I, we'd had some good times, but deep down I always knew that it would never be anything serious. We tried the whole relationship thing. It didn't work out; Brittany was still undeniably and completely caught up on her ex-boyfriend, the smoothest criminal I know (Well, kind of), Artie Abrams.
After I got over the fact that she left me, and saw that she was truly happy with Stubbles McCripple Pants, I tried my hardest to regain the friendship I almost ruined. Was Brittany the love of my life? No, but she was my first love and she is my best friend. It wasn't like it is with Aria though. Nothing has ever been like it is with Aria.
Give a little time to me... or burn this out. We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around. All I want is the taste that your lips allow.
My, my, my, my, oh give me love.
Honestly, I'm at a loss. As lame as this may sound (and I will take this with me to my grave), my mind is telling me to give up. My ice-cube of a heart, however, is telling me to wait it out. I don't know. All I know is I can't go through Brittany 2.0. I just can't.
Give me love like never before... 'cause lately I've been craving more. And it's been a while but I still feel the same. Maybe I should let you go.
You know I'll fight my corner, and that tonight I'll call ya, after my blood, turns into alcohol.
No, I just wanna hold ya...
After a minute or two, the song fades out and the music to another one begins. Three seconds in and I sigh, dropping my head to my knees in resignation, too lazy to reach for my phone and change it. Of course it'd be My Immortal. Thanks, Evanescence. If I didn't feel like killing myself before...
I stare out again at the waves crashing onto the shoreline. It's a pretty calm night, people wander by every once and a while but for the most part it's just me and the night. I sit back and think about everything. Like, everything. Things that happened... Things that didn't happen. Things I wish I could go back and change.
Time passes, maybe half an hour or so, and I find myself tipping to the side. I don't even bother to fight the pull, and allow my body to sag down to the cool, soft sand until I'm lying on my side. It's an interesting new perspective on the shoreline before me.
In a way, the waves are like a metaphor. A metaphor of what, exactly, I don't know right now, but a metaphor nonetheless. Adele fades in and I whine in frustration at this obstinate night. She's only adding to my pity party, and she knows it.
When the rain is blowin' in your face and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear and there is no one there to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet but I would never do you wrong. I've known it from the moment we met, no doubt in my mind where you belong.
Fuck Adele. Getting me all emotional and shit.
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue, I'd go crawlin' down the avenue, No, there's nothin' that I wouldn't do to make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on the rollin' sea and on the highway of regrets, the winds of change are blowing wild and free. You ain't seen nothin' like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. There's nothing that I would not do. Go to the ends of the Earth for you...
My phone beeps, signaling 2% battery left. Shit.
To make you feel my love.
The songs come to an end, and with a grunt I wrench my arm out from under my body to grab the phone and pull the earphone plug out of the jack before anything else wants to come along and drive over my heart. Looking at the screen, I notice two things. The first one being that I have 12 missed calls and 7 missed texts. The second is that it's nearly 6 in the morning. Sure enough, the edges of the horizon are just beginning to tint pink and light blue, ready to embrace the promise of the bright, wonderful day ahead of it.
Fuck your happiness, sunrise.
I guess I should be heading home.
X
I open the front door and immediately I'm hit with the smell of vanilla scented candles. I guess Emily is around here somewhere. I look at the digital clock sitting above the fireplace mantle, reading 6:43. Yeah, everyone's off at class.
"Hello!" I call out. I hear the shower running and I hear someone singing. It has to be Emily because it's too deep to be Kurt, too angelic to be Spencer (She's monotone and pitchy), and not annoying enough to be Rachel.
I knock softly on the door, just to be sure. I hear curtains rustling and bottles being moved, and then Emily shyly pops only her head out of the door and smiles. "Hey."
I let out a breathy chuckle and sigh in relief. "Hey."
"You just getting in?"
"Yeah." It's all I say and thankfully she doesn't ask me any more questions. "Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your shower. Honestly, I could use a shower too. I've got sand in all of the wrong places." She raises an eyebrow and shakes her head in mock disappointment.
"You do that." She smiles and the bathroom door closes.
I go to the fridge and grab a bottle of water before heading to my room. I throw my heels in front of my dresser and make my way over to my closet. It's still early as all hell, and class isn't even a remote option in my head right now, so yeah, nothing better to do. Guess I'm taking a shower.
On second thought, my bed is looking really good right now. Especially since I spent hours upon hours at a sweaty club and on a nearly vacant beach. Hmm... I could totally hop in the shower after I relax for a bit, and sheets can always be washed.
Yup, sounds like a plan.
I throw myself onto my bed- and when I say throw I mean I literally throw myself- and land on the pillowy-softness of my tempur-cloud mattress. I find a comfortable position and close my eyes, exhaling in relief.
Luckily, I'm not given the chance to let my thoughts wander. I'd done enough of that last night. A knock on my bedroom door is to thank for this. I slowly open my eyes and stare at my door.
"Ugh! Who is it?!" I call out.
No Answer.
Whoever is on the other side knocks again. They're obviously ignoring my question. "COME IN!" I yell. The knob turns slowly, as if the intruder is hesitating. Oh, so they heard that one. The door finally swings opens across the carpet slowly, revealing my guest. Somebody kill meeee... Glory hallelujah, of course. Of all fucking people on this planet, of course the person standing before me is none other than the wonderful, heartbreaking, beautiful and bloodthirsty Aria. Yippee! Yay! Fuck my fucking life.
I bury my face in the mattress in misery and groan something that's unintelligible even to me. Aria is silent, and allows me to bitch it out, even though technically she should be offended. Finally, I compose myself and return to maturity and adulthood. With a final sigh, I raise my head and look up at Aria through my tangled hair.
I can't help my mouth falling slightly open in surprise. As gorgeous as she is, today she looks absolutely horrible. She looks tired and miserable and like she's been crying all night. Her red face and the bags under her eyes validate my thoughts. I've never seen her look anything less than stunning, so this is a bit of a surprise.
I begrudgingly drag myself up and scoot back until my back is hitting my headboard. "What the hell are you doing here?" I finally ask. She looks to the floor and I mentally face palm myself, although I can't let my scowl falter.
"Santana-"
"No, you should go, Aria. You shouldn't be here."
"I came to explain. We need to talk." I scoff, and she continues. "And by talk I mean actually talk, not screaming at each other and then storming out of the room."
I shake my head and laugh. She can't be serious. "Look, I've been through this before. I know what it feels like to like someone, Aria. I'm not 6. So much so" I emphasize, "That it's possible for them to completely shut you down. Repeatedly. I'll be damned if I put myself through that much pain again."
"Santana will you just-"
"No. No, I won't. It's not fair, and it's too hard. It's too hard seeing you in class everyday, or in the elevator, or here at the apartment," I point at our surroundings, "all of the time and pretending that I'm not attracted to you, when I am. I can't pretend that I don't want you because I do. I want you so bad, Aria."
Silence.
Minutes go by and it feels like much longer. I shift against the headboard awkwardly, not meeting Aria's eyes. Here I am basically pouring my heart out and she can't even look at me. I can't take this anymore.
Finally, she looks up, and there are tears in her eyes. "Santana-"
"I think you should go."
Aria's mouth hangs open for a moment, just staring at me like she has no idea what to say. Finally, with a gulp and a swallow, she shuts it and nods in agreement, and makes her way to the door. My heart stops, drops, and breaks all at the same time, but I say nothing. She's not going to see me cry.
Aria's small frame almost clears the door , but she suddenly pauses. I cock my head to the side and my eyes narrow. What the hell is she doing?
Aria turns around and looks me dead in the eyes. Before I have time to think, let alone react, Aria is coming straight towards me, purposefully, and with a new look in her eyes. Hunger, perhaps.
I would totally think it was hot if I wasn't so scared.
Her hands cup my face and she pulls me into her. Our lips connect and my heart seems to be beating again. Thumping, actually. Little by little, second by second, I can feel it piecing itself back together. But I don't want to get my hopes up. After the initial shock of her mouth on mine wears off, I waste no time responding to the kiss. It's fast and needy and oh so good. Our bodies press against each other and our chemistry is undeniable. After air becomes necessary, I pull back and look up to study the girl pressing me down to the bed. Her eyes are still closed but a small, satisfied smile plays on her lips.
Oh, her lovely, lovely, full lips. I could kiss her for days on end. Wait? Did I just say lovely? Since when did that word integrate into my vocabulary? Santana Lopez doesn't use the word lovely. I just don't.
"Hey, you alright?" I whisper. I don't want this to be a repeat of what happened the first time we kissed. Aria nods, and opens her those big hazel eyes to look down into my own.
"I want you too."
I pause. Did she just- think she- Oh my god! She wants me. I internally spaz. I can't believe this. Is this real life? Oh my god!
A soft hand caresses my cheek and I suddenly remember where I am and who I'm with. "Say something. Please?" She's so vulnerable and quiet. I look down to her a give her a small smile. I lean in, our lips finding each other once more, for the second time today. Like a puzzle, they fit together perfectly as they slowly and lightly move with each other.
I hope that answers her question.
A/N: ...And there you have it. It was hell to write BUT it was fun. Let me be the first to say that I absolutely love Devyn. She's really fun to write. Although Devyn is all kinds of awesome, can I get a HELL YEAH for SANTARIA! Finally!
I hope you enjoy this update. Expect the next one soon. OH! And remember to follow and review. Shout out to Kcuffykidd96, unofficial beta!
(because kcuffykidd96 yelled at me for this...)
Songs used:
Ed Sheeran – Give me love
Evanescence - My Immortal
Adele – Make you feel my love
Stay gucci,
Syn92
(and if you ain't gucci you poochy)