My head throbbing, I watch the buildings pass us by as we head towards the train station. We were both quiet, both of us deep in our own muddled thoughts. The silence was uncomfortable to me, however. I felt that I still owed him an explanation, and I didn't know how, where or when to start. I was feeling a little restless because of it.

"So... are you still staying at your parents house?"

My hand twitches at his sudden question. I breathe slowly and deeply to get over my surprise, feeling like a fool.

"Yes, unfortunately." I answer.

"I see..."

I sneak a peek at his side profile. His gaze was fixed outside, his eyes hidden behind his glasses, improving his appearance somewhat. He looks odd though, like a stranger. The thought makes me a little uneasy.

"...are you still mad?" I ask, my voice almost a whisper.

He sighs and shakes his head slightly.

"...not really, no. Just..." he frowns as he searches for the right word. "...tired, I guess."

"Hm? I see. Well, it has been a long evening. How was the party? Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Hmm... Yeah, I guess. Food was great." He says with a smile.

"And the company even better, I suppose."

"Huh? What are you talking about? Being with your sister's pretty terrifying you know. The food barely made it worth it."

I felt somewhat better, hearing his reply and seeing his expression sour. "Is that so? You seemed to enjoy yourself quite a bit though. I noticed that you and Nee-san get along pretty well when I'm not around."

"Really? I don't think so." He sighs and looks at me tiredly. "She was just being her usual friendly self and I was just playing along. You know how it is."

"Fine. What about your disguise? Who can I thank for providing us with such great entertainment?"

"Yeah," He sighs and tugs at his hair. "This one's Isshiki's idea."

I smirk and glance at it. "As far as ideas go, that seems to be a pretty bad one."

"She said it was nice." He shrugs apathetically.

"Hmm... perhaps to those who don't know you well enough. It doesn't suit you, Hikigaya-kun. Not with your personality. You look silly."

"Yeah, I know. Isshiki was really into it though. And your sister said I should disguise myself."

"And you believed her? Nee-san was just pulling your leg."

"I don't know..." he tilts his head. "Better safe than sorry, right?"

I scoff at him. "What's the worst that could happen? And what about the glasses?"

"This?" he touches them. "Err... It's something that I don't normally wear. So I thought it would be a good prop. It doesn't look too bad on me right?"

I tilt my head and stare at him.

"I guess." I say grudgingly. "So is this image change permanent?"

"No, of course not." he answers immediately.

"Good." I nod back, relieved.

"I'll try to wash the color off if I can. If not, I'll just tint it back to black."

I hum assent. Looking back outside to watch idly. We were now close to our destination. Once we get to the train station, we'll be taking the Keiyou line back to Chiba. Afterwards, I'll grab another taxi to go all the way home.

"Still..." I hear him mumble beside me. "That party was something else. I recognized some of those people from the news."

"Yes," I glance at him worriedly. "I hope you didn't embarrass yourself while I wasn't looking."

"No way." He straightens his jacket and looks at me with a little smug smile. "I went around and no one asked me for an invitation, or if I could get them a drink or show them where the comfort room was. I actually fit in."

I chuckle at his reply. "Really?"

"Yeah, your sis introduced me to some of the guests and her friends. They didn't laugh. Or think I was strange or anything... at least I didn't think so..."

"Friends?" I frown.

"Err... Saitou and Miyazawa."

"Hmm... the brunette and the redhead?" Both very female and both very attractive, if memory serves me right.

"Yeah."

I sigh tiredly. "What were you doing with them?"

"Well, I drank champagne," He shrugs. "Grunt or smile and look attentive whenever they said something."

I laugh, a little in understanding. It was not unlike what I usually did. "Well. They must've enjoyed your company."

"...I kind of get the feeling that they actually did." He puts a hand on his chin, pondering.

"I doubt it."

He smiles wryly at me. "What? I can be charming too, you know."

"Oh? What nonsense. Where is this confidence coming from? Are you drunk?"

"Is that right? What's this then?" He puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a piece of paper. He grins as he hands it over.

I unfold it and take a look. A phone number and an email address was written on it. And it wasn't my sister's.

"Well, this is a surprise." I mutter. Whose contact information was this, I wonder? Not that it matters...

"See? Even I can-"

I push the button on my side to open a slight gap in the window. I feel the wind brush my hair as I fold the piece of paper twice. I throw it out quickly, closing the window afterwards.

"You can what?" I turn to him and ask, smiling.

"Oh...uh, never mind."

He sighs and looks away. I cross my arms beneath my chest and look outside, feeling satisfied. The train station was now visible, just a couple of blocks away.

We arrive after a few minutes. Hikigaya-kun takes care of the fare, as usual, but I take note of how much he paid, just in case I find the opportunity to pay him back. He gets out of the taxi first and stands close to my side of the door, he then takes his jacket off.

"Here."

He hands over his jacket just before I get out of the taxi. I quickly put it on, draping it over my shoulder, while I stand beside him. His jacket hung on me like a coat and it covered my back sufficiently.

"Thank you." I say with a smile.

He shrugs. "Come on. It's a bit crowded. Stay close."

It was indeed crowded. Probably because it was a Saturday. I stay close to Hikigaya-kun, walking beside him silently.

"Too bad you can't go home to your apartment yet huh." He glances at me from the side.

"Yes. But I do have my keys. And I'll make sure to get it back. We own the apartment anyway. No one is going to use it while I'm gone."

"What if your parents decide to rent it out?"

"They'll need my permission. I've grown quite fond of that place. I've also left a lot of my things there."

"That's fine then..."

Reminded by his remark, I think about the apartment and all the memories that come with it. The early ones were lonely but the recent ones were bright and full of laughter. Yuigahama-san's sleepovers and frequent visits as well as Hikigaya-kun's rare ones have made the place feel more like home. A fact that became more obvious the longer I stayed away.

As for my apartment being rented out... Once Nee-san enrolls at Tokyo University and once my mother finds a house suitably near father's office and the school, she just might decide to sell the place or have it rented. It was an upsetting possibility. In fact, I could already imagine the inside of my apartment, empty, all my things stored inside boxes, ready for removal. I would not put it past my mother to do this ahead of time.

Should I go and check, just in case? I take out my phone and look at the time. It was still a bit early. And if it get's late, I could just stay overnight. I think of the consequences and smile. It wasn't too unappealing.

"Hikigaya-kun." I grab the back of his shirt, momentarily stopping him.

"What?"

"I think I'll try to spend the night at my apartment after all."

"Uh, aren't you grounded?"

I shrug. "It's a lot more convenient to go there. It's closer to the train station. And... there are things I'd like to check." It was also easier for Hikigaya-kun to go home afterwards.

"Well, if that's what you want..."

I smile reassuringly and look ahead. "Let's go."

"But you'll need to tell your mother first." He looks at me worriedly and doesn't move.

"I'll just send a text message to Nee-san."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Well..." My mouth twists upward, imagining my mother's reaction. "Mother will probably be very upset. But then, father let me go home early and Nee-san was supposed to watch over me. I won't be the only one receiving a lecture that's for sure."

He grins at me. "I guess that's fine then."

"Yes." I nod back.

We purchase our tickets and head slowly for the train. The station was filled with people, so I stuck close to Hikigaya-kun, careful not to lose him in the crowd. Luckily, we didn't have to wait long for the train to arrive.

We get in, following the rush of commuters. Inside the seats were all taken, there was no choice but to stand. There were a lot of stations between this one and our destination, however, so I wasn't all that worried about finding a seat, I'm sure some of the passengers sitting will get off before us.

"Excuse me."

I move aside, letting the man behind me pass. Hikigaya-kun and I were standing near the sliding doors, and people were still going in. I glance at Hikigaya-kun and move closer to him, gripping the edge of his shirt tighter, my other hand still holding his jacket in place. The train was getting more crowded.

"You okay?"

"Yes. It just feels cramped in here."

"Yeah, it is a Saturday..."

"Maybe we should have just taken a cab..." I look around somewhat furtively.

"It's not so bad. Here."

He makes his way to the side and I follow. He finds a space at a corner and gestures me to stand in it, he then moves in front of me, shielding me from the crowd.

"Better?"

"Yes..." I mumble.

It was still a bit tight. And I was still feeling a little uneasy, but now for an altogether different reason. We were only inches apart and I could feel his breath on my hair, smell his scent. With my heels on, we were of the same height, and our eyes were aligned. I look down hastily to avoid contact, and I hear him clear his throat awkwardly. I focus my attention on his collar instead and notice beads of sweat form on his neck. I stifle the urge to wipe them for him.

"Hey."

"Um... yes?" I croak, my throat feeling dry.

"You really going to transfer?"

"...probably."

"Probably?"

" It's just that... my family seems to be determined that I do. And I don't have much of a reason to go against them."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... it's Tokyo University. It's the country's best. Did you know that Nee-san once wanted to go study there? Only my parents didn't want her to. And now they're offering me something even Nee-san couldn't have back then."

"So you still want to beat her?"

"No. I just don't think it's an altogether bad idea to reject."

He nods in understanding. Though he seems reluctant about it.

"Yuigahama won't be happy." he adds.

"I know..."

"Isshiki too, come to think of it."

"Perhaps..."

We both pause. I wait for him to continue - to tell me how he would feel - but he doesn't. The train starts to move and the moment is lost. Shattered away by the horrifying feel of my chest on his. My nose and lip on the side of his neck, his chin brushing my ear.

"S-sorry!" He yelps.

We both pull away from each other, blushing hard. My hand now pushing against his chest. The bump had made the both of us stumble, with my heels on and my other hand on his jacket, I wasn't able to balance myself adequately. Hikigaya-kun wasn't holding on to the handle bars as well.

"I got bumped from behind and..." he mumbles at me sheepishly.

"I understand."

"I didn't mean to..."

"I know." I growl at him, willing him to shut up. He gets the message and closes his mouth.

I consider letting go of his shirt, but that would only make it harder for me to keep my balance, so I decide not to. Hikigaya-kun was now holding on to a handle bar, gripping hard, so it was unlikely we'd embarrass ourselves in the same way. I sigh and pretend it didn't happen.

We stay this way for quite some time, standing close together. The scenery outside blurring as the train speeds up, heading for home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, wake up."

"Hnnn?"

I open my eyes slowly, feeling my shoulder shake. I look around me blearily.

"Hey, you awake?"

"Hm? What?"

I jerk upright, away from his shoulder. My sudden movement causes a wave of vertigo and I close my eyes until it goes away.

"We're almost there."

I blink at him and he gestures outside. I look out and nod, seeing the familiar scenery. We were close, the next station our last.

I cover my mouth and yawn, I then turn my neck left and right to get rid of the crick.

"...sorry." I mumble afterwards, an apology for using him as a pillow. He shrugs, an indifferent expression on his face.

After a few minutes, the train slows down and pulls to a stop. We stand up and walk out, exiting the station along with the crowd.

The path we took was the usual one, a route we've taken for years. It was nostalgic. How many times more will I have to pass through this neighborhood? With Yuigahama-san or with him?

We walk silently, content to leave it that way. My apartment was only a few minutes away, the building already visible. A part of me wishes it was farther.

"So... when will you guys move to Tokyo?"

I give him a glance. We were about to cross the street, waiting for the light to turn green.

"I don't know. A month before the school year opens perhaps."

He sighs and shakes his head.

"Why do they want you to go with them? You've been fine living on your own. I don't get it."

"It's a feeble attempt at household solidarity." I answer wryly. We cross the street and walk on.

"You did tell them you want to stay right?" He narrows his eyes at me.

"Of course I did." I frown back. "Do you think I'd enjoy going somewhere with no friends or acquaintances?"

"But you do know a few guys there right?" He looks at me accusingly. "And it's not like you're not used to it."

"Things have changed since Yuigahama-san."

"Eh, if you say so. I still think you're just letting your mother push you around."

"Maybe so." I grumble, feeling somewhat annoyed now. "But it's not only her I have to deal with. Father wants me to come too."

"They can't force you to do something you don't want to. Even if they're your parents."

"That depends on the circumstances, Hikigaya-kun." I glare at him. "You seem awfully determined to make me stay, is there a deeper meaning to this perhaps?" I grin at him maliciously. "Is there something you'd like to tell me, Hikigaya-kun?"

"What are you rambling about?" He gives me an annoyed look of his own. "I'm doing this because of work."

"Work?"

"Hayama made a request the other day."

I shake my head, feeling disappointed. "The service club is long gone, Hikigaya-kun."

"Old habits die hard, right?"

I ignore him and continue walking. He follows behind.

"Have you tried begging your father to let you stay?" He continues.

"No, and I don't plan to." I look back at him and smirk. "You could do it in my place, if you want."

"Heh, that might cause a misunderstanding. A fatal one."

I chuckle at his remark. I slow down my pace and let him walk beside me. I then turn towards him.

"I don't think it's that easy, Hikigaya-kun. If there's a chance that he might let me if I do, then I would gladly throw away my pride. I really don't want to go away from here."

"Yeah, I know. Chiba's the best."

I roll my eyes at him. "My father wants the family to stay under one roof. And it's hard to argue with him when he's determined to get his way."

"But he'll listen to you if you talk to him, right?"

"Yes, but..."

I stop and hesitate. We were now both standing a few steps away from my apartment building. We still wanted to talk, but arriving at our destination had made it somewhat awkward to continue doing so. I sigh and put a hand on my temple.

"Hikigaya-kun, would you like to go upstairs with me?"

"That didn't work out too well last time remember?"

"True, but what have I to lose?" I wave my hand in a tired gesture and smile. "It's still early anyway and you aren't exactly spending the night."

"Um, you sure about that?"

"Yes." I pause, thinking of an alternative. "If you want, I can smuggle you in through the fire escape exit."

"Hm?" He looks at me curiously.

"Go around the side of the building, you'll find the fire escape exit there. I'll unlock it from the inside and you can climb the stairs up until the 3rd floor and use the elevator then."

"Why the 3rd floor?"

I shrug. "There's only one CCTV camera on the elevator hallway starting from the third floor up."

"Oh, okay, let's try that." He looks at me somewhat excitedly. "I feel like some sort of spy."

I give him a disgusted look and head in. The receptionist recognizes me and gives me the usual greeting. It doesn't seem like my absence was noted. Not surprising, since there have been times when my mother would demand my presence at home for months, particularly during summer. A 2 week absence is hardly noticeable.

I walk down the hallway and head for the stairs at the far end. I look around me, just to make sure no one was watching and unlock the door to the fire escape. I open it slightly and wait for Hikigaya-kun.

"Hey."

I let him in and lock the door behind him. I then gesture upwards.

"There's a camera on every floor. If you hug the walls, you won't be seen." I reconsider. "If you're careful, that is."

"Okay, you won't get in trouble for this, right?"

"Probably not."

He looks at me worriedly and I wave him away. I walk back to the main hallway and take the elevator.

I reach my floor, take out my keys and unlock my apartment. I breathe out in relief as I take the surrounding in. Nothing had changed.

"I'm home." I whisper with a smile.

I take my heels off gratefully, my feet were starting to feel sore. I put on my indoor slippers and head for my room, turning on the lights along the way. There I change into something more casual. A button up shirt and loose cotton pants. I hear knocking while I change and I ignore it. I left the door unlocked so he shouldn't have a problem going in.

I exit my room just as Hikigaya-kun opens the door.

"Would you like some tea?" I tell him as I untie my hair and head for the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

I turn on the electric kettle and wait for the water to boil. I then check around. The food in the refrigerator were mostly okay, some will have to be disposed of, like the milk and eggs, but the others were still safe to consume.

The water starts to boil and I take out our cups. I prepare the tea and hurry over to the living room. Approaching the sofa, I hand over Hikigaya-kun's mug and sit beside him. We both take a sip and sigh.

"So tired..." He grumbles and I silently agree. It's that feeling when you stop and rest after a busy day. The stress and exhaustion piling on top of you the whole day finally crashing down. Though in this case, he shouldn't be as tired as he sounds, his complaint was completely unjustified.

"Yuigahama should be here." He mutters beside me.

"No, she shouldn't." I answer with a shudder.

"I'm supposed to convince you to stay. I think she'd do a better job at it."

"No, I don't think so." If Yuigahama-san were here, things would only get more troublesome. "Is that the nature of the request?"

"Yeah, more or less."

"Then do your job properly." I scold him jokingly.

"Err... right." He clears his throat. "That said, I don't know what to say. If Yuigahama were here she'd be begging you to stay and you'd be saying yes and everything would be okay."

"Indeed, she can be quite persistent."

The two of us share a look and smile. Imagining the scene.

We both know that it was futile, however. There wasn't much we could do in the situation. I wasn't in any position to rebel against my parents. I depended on them too much for that. And Hikigaya-kun understands. Or at least, I think he does.

"I wish it were that simple." I say with a sigh.

"Yeah, should I call Yuigahama over? A simple person could come up with simple solutions you know."

I ignore him and continue.

"But it's not like I'm going somewhere out of reach. Yuigahama-san and I will just visit each other whenever we have free time. You and Isshiki-san can tag along too. It's not like I'm close to a lot of people."

"But there are going to be times when you can't, right? We're in college and things are just going to get busier. How much time will you have for them?"

"As much time as I can give. There's no helping it. We can't always be together. We were bound to take different paths, sooner or later. It just came sooner than expected."

"Yeah but," He grumbles, "Isn't that the reason why the 3 of us went to the same college? Remember how Yuigahama worked her butt off to make sure she passed? She did it for you, you know."

And you, I add silently. "Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if Komachi-san asked you to transfer to Tokyo University? What if she decides to study there?"

"Can't imagine it happening. She's too much of an idiot. She doesn't have a chance."

"You're so fond of her and yet you say things like that... it's just a hypothetical situation."

"Well, I'd go, of course. But that's different. Komachi's special. And she's cute. I need to be there to keep those Tokyo boys away from her."

"You don't trust boys from Chiba either." I point out.

"Damn right."

I smile and sip my tea. "The point is, they're my family. Despite everything. It's hard to say no in these situations."

"Huh, so I guess there's nothing we can do now, is there?" He mumbles, letting his head fall back on the sofa.

"I know." I pull my legs up and follow his example, slouching beside him. "Or rather, I don't know. I don't know what to do, what to say, to get things back the way they were."

"Are you having second thoughts on whether you want to stay here or not?"

"A little. There's an opportunity there that's hard to ignore. Studying in Tokyo, working under my mother. It's hard to turn down. Doing so will only make my family think I'm acting selfishly."

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish though."

"In some cases, yes. But my mother believes that transferring to Tokyo is for the best. And looking at it objectively, I can't help but agree."

"I think you're looking down on our school too much. Just because you go to a more prestigious university doesn't mean your chances for success go higher."

"Actually, it does..."

"Well, okay, maybe, but that applies to normal guys. You're not normal."

"Thank you?" I frown.

"You know what I mean." He waves at me in an annoying manner. "Even if you study at some unknown place, you'd still make it big once you graduate."

"Well, I suppose. But that's not the only consideration."

"Oh, you're talking about the family unity thing?"

"Yes." I turn my head to the side, facing him. "It may be too little too late, but the attempt my parents are making is something I can respect and understand."

"Yeah... guess that's that then." He replies tiredly, his voice sounding hollow.

"Yes." I stare at him, worried.

We stay quiet for a while. Drinking our tea slowly, occasionally letting out a sigh. I rub my feet to ease away the sore feeling of having to walk and stand in heels for hours. There was no immediate need for conversation.

He finishes his tea and puts his mug down, straightening in his seat. He then turns toward me.

"I think I'll just go."

"Isn't it a little too early?" I look at my cup, hoping my disappointment didn't show.

"...it's past 10." He mutters. "But maybe I can stay for a little while," He pauses and lets out a breath. "Not that there's much I can do at this point."

"Hikigaya-kun..." I grasp for something to say. It was ridiculous, how depressed he sounds, if anything, I should be the one feeling devastated. But then again, I've had time to deal with my departure, he's only had a couple of days.

"Hikigaya-kun," I clear my throat and try again. "Just because I'm going away, doesn't mean that our relationships will disappear. That will never happen. This isn't goodbye. We've been through something similar before, after all, when the service club ended." I smile warmly.

He gives me a look. "You make it sound like I'm some kind of rabbit."

I inch closer towards him, our shoulders now touching. "I am worried. I don't want you to die of loneliness." I tease.

"But really though, I think you're a bit too naive." He grumbles, but he doesn't move away. "Just look at Hayama's group."

I understood what he meant. Hayama-kun didn't go to the same college as us and some of his friends went to other colleges as well. From what we've both heard from Yuigahama-san, the relationships in their group have changed quite a bit. Yuigahama-san does her best to spend as much time with Ebina-san and Miura-san, and the other two are quite receptive to Yuigahama-san's efforts. But the boys on the other hand were different. Tobe-kun and Hayama-kun go with them, but this happens only occasionally. Slowly but surely, their group was starting to dissolve.

But that's only how it looks on the outside. Hayama-kun and Miura-san have an understanding after all. And Tobe-kun and Ebina-san have gotten closer, according to Yuigahama-san. So it shouldn't be all that bad.

"You're too pessimistic." I grumble.

"I'm also a realist." He rallies. "You'll find new friends there, or most likely, they'll find you. And that's something that could happen easily for Yuigahama, you know. The both of you will find it harder to spend time together, and then we'll start drifting apart..."

"Why would you say such depressing things?" I glance at him resentfully.

He shrugs unapologetic. "I'm just saying it's possible."

I put my hands on my lap and look down. It was indeed, a possibility. But there was a slim chance of it happening. Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san are both dear to me. They hold a place in my heart that would never be taken away. And I know Yuigahama-san feels the same way for me, to the point that I even worry sometimes about her sexuality. Hikigaya-kun on the other hand...

"Hikigaya-kun," I call out. I gather a little courage and plod on. "I would never replace you or Yuigahama-san with someone else. Both of you are very important to me. I owe the two of you more than I can ever repay."

I glance up at him and continue. "I will not drift away. As long as you and Yuigahama-san won't. Even if we're not together, the two of you will always be on my mind."

He looks away, scratching his head in an embarrassed gesture. "...it's the same for me, I guess." He mumbles.

I wait for him to look at me and I smile warmly when he does. "I'm glad. I wasn't worried about Yuigahama-san. You on the other hand," I sigh dramatically, "you are such a pain. It would not sit well on me to leave you alone. Who knows what could happen? I don't want you to turn into a recluse... or a criminal. I'd feel bad for Komachi-san."

"You're not cute at all..." He grumbles, looking clearly dissatisfied.

I laugh, feeling lighthearted and relieved. Communicating with my eyes what I can't say honestly with words.

My laughter fades and a familiar silence descends on us. We were sitting side by side, shoulder to shoulder. The distance between us intimately close. My heart beats loudly in my ears. And not just because of the alcohol.

His eyes flicker to my lips and I do the same. A feeling of thrill bubbles inside me. I hold my breath in anticipation, my chin tilting unconsciously upward. The urge to close my eyes and lean forward was almost irresistible and I slowly give in...

But he jerks away, coughing awkwardly. He shuffles back discreetly, putting distance between us. I feel suddenly hollow.

"I...it's getting late. I think... I should just go."

"Yes... that... would be wise." I manage.

We stand up stiffly. I grab his jacket and push it on him, he puts them on with a mutter of thanks. I walk him to the entrance and wait for him to put on his shoes. I open the door for him silently, the oppressive atmosphere encouraging him to make haste.

He walks past me, but before I could close the door, he turns back, looking conflicted.

"...I'm sorry."

"For what?" I answer breathless. "You have nothing to apologize for."

He makes a face, feet shuffling. "Yeah, but..."

I stare at him coldly and he groans as if in pain. I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. I sigh tiredly.

"It's nothing, Hikigaya-kun. Thank you for keeping me company." I tell him politely.

He opens his mouth like a fish out of water, a distraught look on his face. My heart melts a little and I smile weakly.

"Hikigaya-kun..."

"I'm sorry." He looks down, his voice hoarse. "I wanted to help you. I came to the party thinking I could do something. Talk to your dad or mom or whatever. Maybe convince them to make you stay. Make a scene if I had to. But..."

I look down and shake my head. "Don't blame yourself for something you couldn't help."

"But..." He grumbles on, his fists clenching.

My mind goes blank and I take a step forward, closing in on him, leaning my forehead on his shoulder, one hand clenched and on his chest, feeling his heart beat. He stands stiffly and awkwardly. It was the closest thing to a hug that I could give him.

"Yukinoshita..."

I look up, seeing his confused expression. He was struggling to compose himself, but he doesn't move away. His face was just a few inches away and I feel my heart skip a beat.

Action is sometimes performed when there is an excess of emotion, when the emotion felt exceeds one's threshold, action is sometimes required to express it.

Recalling all that he's done for me, from the cultural festival of the past til today. My heart fills with fondness. I know he's there when I need him, though our relationship has had its ups and downs, I am sure that we can rely on each other. I could not imagine a life without his presence. The affinity we feel for each other is real, and it cannot be ignored. Whether we continue on as friends or something else is irrelevant.

But then...

I cannot deny the fact that "something else" would be the more attractive option.

I close my eyes and stand on tiptoe, tilting my head upward.

I'm sure I'll feel regret later. I'm sure my actions will only bring unnecessary conflict. And that I am betting more than I'm willing to risk.

But with my lips pressed on his, everything seemed right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

AN

I AM SO SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!

I promised myself that I wouldn't let this fic get pushed back to page 2, and I failed to do that. Been very busy and I just couldn't write as much as I used to, this chap was tricky to do as well, so I apologize for the abruptness ( and disjointedness ) of some of the scenes or dialogue. I want this fic to end before v12 gets out and fortunately ( or maybe not ) we still haven't had much news as to when it gets published. I'm still aiming to end this fic early next month. That's unlikely to happen, but I'm gonna try anyway.

I should have more time to write the next chaps. I was moved to the day shift earlier last month and I had to deal with 5 hours worth of commute. Whenever I get back from work, my brain would feel like mush and I couldn't write anything at all. But now I quit! Cause fuck it I'm tired!

Anywho, thank you for reviewing! They encourage me a lot! You regulars are the reason why I feel motivated to finish this fic no matter what.

And I'm sorry for a lot of things for ch 9. Had to stealth edit that one a bit. Seriously regret uploading it several days early.

Also, I might change the fic's rating once I upload the next chap, so change your filter settings if this fic disappears from page 1 or 2, or subscribe.

Anonymouse: I tried adding more diabeetus this chap! There will be more in future chaps too!

Guest: I can't do 18-20 chaps man, sorry. The most I can do would be 15, I guess. But who knows.

Ryudai: Why? That's basically one of the reasons why I'm writing this fic. :(

Anyways, if lemon chaps are something that makes you ( and some readers ) uncomfortable, then I might upload the chap as a separate story. That way, you won't find anything M in this one. But that's only if there's a lot of you guys who feel that way ( leave a pm or review ). It's more convenient for me to just change the rating tbh ( so that's a yes AnonBaws and Lee CHOW-LAN ) but I won't mind doing it this way as well.

imaguest: erk, I'm usually careful about repeating expressions, sorry. And thanks! I'm always worried about the ratio thing, I'm glad you find it okay. I'm not that good at doing inner monologues and descriptions, so I do less of them. And I always feel that I'm not doing enough, but there's not much I can do about it. If I add more, it usually ends up feeling forced or unnecessary to me and I end up removing them once I start editing. :/

Oh and "clicking your tongue" is pretty much the same as using the interjection "Tsk" or "Tch". I use it to avoid using tsk or tch in the dialogue ( mainly cause of the red squiggly marks I get when I use word ). It's not really a clicking sound but that's how it is.