Chapter Nine - Rhapsody in Blue

The noise was terrible, deafening, and she felt the water pounding at her like terrible hammers, forcing her eagerly downwards towards the rocks. I'm going to die, she thought to herself, I'm going to land on those rocks in about three seconds and then I'll either come apart with the impact or the water will smash me into a pulp…this is it…

…then she felt an extraordinary sensation, as if she had been caught and wrapped up in a tight cocoon. The cocoon held and turned and directed her, channelling her head-first towards a patch of light that was waiting for her. She lay, helpless and squeezed, hardly able to breathe, as the force that had her propelled her onwards, onwards, harder and harder. She closed her eyes, wanting to scream but not having the breath do so…

…and then finally she was lying on a warm white floor, soaking wet and gasping for breath, with soft light all around her. Two people, a man and a woman, were kneeling next to her, looking at her with amusement and amazement.

They spoke rapidly in their own language over her head, and she saw them point at her ears with a gesture of surprise. Then they looked at her.

"Islensku?" they asked her rapidly. "Norsk? Dansk? Svenska? English?"

"Yes, oh, thank you, yes - English," she said gratefully, trying to get her breath back.

"What are you doing here, little girl? Surely you were warned not to try and cross the gateway without proper transport? And why weren't we told to expect you?" The woman stroked her hair curiously. "Forgive me for asking - is this a usual colour for your people?"

"No, I suppose not, not really, it's just always been that way…I knew you weren't expecting me, and I didn't know how to get in touch, so I just had to try - "

"You were lucky not to be killed," the man told her gravely. "Very lucky. The gateway will not open for just anyone. You must have some connection with us, my dear." They were looking at her as if she was a mermaid, or a unicorn, or some other fabulous monster, suddenly washed up at their feet. She was cold and soaked, she felt bruised all over and completely exhausted, but she forced herself to stand up.

"We are the Port officials," said the woman. "Welcome, young human woman, even though we were not expecting you. May I ask why you are visiting?"

"I'm looking for someone," she said. "Someone…someone like you, not someone like me. I think he might have come through here about six weeks ago. In an air-ship…"

The man and woman looked at each other.

"I think you must be looking for Sportacus, my dear," said the woman.

"You mean he's really here?"

"Yes, he has come back to his own people once more…we are all very worried about him. His heart is broken, you see." She said this as if it were a medical condition, one which would be difficult or impossible to cure. "May we know who you are?"

"My name's Stephanie. Stephanie Milford."

Again the man and woman exchanged looks.

" Ahhh…then you are the young lady from Lazytown. Don't be too surprised, Stephanie; our contacts with the world of humans are rather limited, and we tend to know all those whose paths we cross by name. We have Stephanie," said the woman, "how is he, that very dear and persistent man? I understand he is married now?"

"Please," she said desperately, "I need to get in touch with Sportacus. I've come so far, I need to find him…"

"I'm not sure that will be possible," said the man doubtfully. "The circumstances are complicated. The severance of the contract - "

Stephanie opened her mouth to argue once more, but stopped. She could hear a familiar bleeping noise coming from the crystal still clutched in her hand. At the same time she felt a kind of tug around her heart, a compelling, insistent pull that she could no more ignore than a mother can ignore the sound of her baby when it cries.

"I have to go," she gasped. "He's in trouble…he needs me." And she took off at a dead run across the vast white space, following the urgent pulling sensation in her heart.

The man and woman watched her go.

"What should we do?" the man asked at last.

"I think…the best thing to do would be to let her go," said the woman slowly. "After all…" They looked at each other, and walked slowly back to their desks.

"We will have to report in the morning," the man reminded her.

"Indeed…but perhaps that will be long enough. After all…how many of us - from either of our peoples - are blessed enough to experience love like that?"

--

Wrapped in his sleeping-bag on the floor of his airship, he woke suddenly from dreams of falling from a high, terrible place into roaring water. He saw from the clock that it was a little after midnight, and knew from the experiences of many nights like it that he would not be able to sleep again. Instead, he dressed in warm, dark clothes and climbed down the ladder to the pebbled beach below.

The tide was at high water, and the sea was nearly still, looking like black ink under the stars. He spent almost all of his free time here, needing the solitude even as his heart was breaking with loneliness. They had all been more than kind, making a point of visiting him, trying to welcome him back into the daily life of their people. He had a class of children to teach in the mornings, and the sight of their eager faces as he showed them how to jump and stretch and run lifted his spirits briefly, because they were so full of life and happiness. When the classes were over, he would run along the beach for many hours and many miles, pushing his body beyond the brink of exhaustion until his breath came in shudders and dry heaves, trying to weary himself so utterly that he would sleep without dreaming.

The sound of the waves crashing on the shore had soothed him to sleep when he was a child. It was the thing he had missed the most when he had first gone to Lazytown; and even now, lost and drowning in sorrow, the sound was the only companion he could bear during the long empty hours. Without a trace of vanity, he knew that there were many women who would have been glad to join him for the night or for a handful of nights, to try and take away the pain in his heart and make him laugh again. But he had spoken only the truth to Stephanie that day when they had parted: there would never be anyone else for him.

She was always with him, in his heart and in his thoughts. He wondered constantly what she was doing, who she was with, trying not to feel jealous when he wondered if there was someone else in her life now, someone else holding and kissing her and touching her as he had touched her. The memory of their brief time as lovers was the only sweetness that remained in his life, and he struggled to hold on to it, to remember only the joy, not to dwell on the heartbreak that came after. "Yes, thank you, fine," he said, trying to smile, to everyone who asked him; and inside he died a little each day.

He heard the crunch of pebbles behind him and turned around.

His first thought was that she looked like her own ghost, frail and shivering, her face deathly pale and smudged with fatigue. Her hair was cut short and elfin around her face, and it was this that gave him hope that he was not dreaming, for in his dreams she looked exactly the same as when he had last seen her. They stared at each other.

"Are you real?" he whispered at last, not daring to move.

"I had to find you," she whispered at last. "I'm sorry it took me so long…"

In two swift strides he was with her, and he tried to take her in his arms, but she evaded his touch, and he dropped his arms to his sides.

"I had to tell you something," she said softly. "Sportacus, I found out who I am. I'm the great-great-grand-daughter of Liefur Johannson, and I'm the heir to Lazytown. I have the power to renew your contract, if you'll only accept."

"You're the - the heir to Lazytown?" She could see the amazement in his face. "You're absolutely sure you can do this?"

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure…" she was cold and shivering now, trying to hide it so she could finish what she had to say. "Sportacus, Lazytown can't survive without its hero. We all need you. As the only person who can ask you, I'm standing here begging you…please, please, will you come back to us?" She held out the crystal she had been clutching in her hand throughout her long, hard run through endless softly-lit corridors, and across sudden wide cobbled courtyards that were open to the strange skies above.

He took it from her, and she felt a touch of electricity as his warm fingers brushed against hers.

"I - "

"Please, don't answer yet…there's something else I have to say." She could feel her legs trembling with exhaustion, and this time he would not be denied; he put his arms gently around her, holding her as if he was afraid she would break. She looked up into his face, into those beautiful, warm blue eyes that had melted her heart the first time she saw them.

"Sportacus…I love you. I have loved you since I first met you when I was eight years old. I love you…what was it you said to me that night?…I love you in every way a woman can love a man. I will follow you anywhere, I will go with you to wherever you want to be. If you won't come back to Lazytown, I'll leave it behind, all of it, and stay here with you, if you'll have me. But I can't live without you, Sportacus. You have my heart, and it's yours until I die." There were tears running down her face now and she couldn't see his expression any more.

"Stephanie," he whispered softly. "My darling girl, my little love…you shouldn't have done this, it was too dangerous, you could have been killed, I'm not worth the risk…"

"And is that your answer?" She couldn't control the sob that burst from her.

He put the crystal carefully in his pocket, then took both of her hands between his.

"No, of course that isn't my answer.. .oh, Stephanie, sweetheart…Stephanie Anne Milford, will you please marry me?" And, as her knees finally gave way, he caught her and held her tightly against him as if he would never let her go.

--

For long minutes they stood still on the beach, their arms wrapped tightly around each other, re-learning how it felt to be together. Stephanie felt as if she had been terribly cold for longer than she could remember, and was now standing in the warmth once more. She knew that she was happy again, that she was finally where she had longed to be, for long days and nights that had stretched into endless weeks. But just now the pain of feeling the frost in her heart melt away again was overwhelming. She could hardly remember who she was or how she had got here…she thought that if he kissed her now, she would simply fall apart right there in his arms, but he seemed to know what she needed better than she did. He stood stock still, warm and firm and real and reassuring, and let her lean shivering against him, holding her close and steady while she found her moorings in time and space once more.

"How did you get here?" he asked her at last, still holding her tightly against him. "How did you find it? How did you get through the gateway? How did you know how to contact the Port officials?"

"I didn't," she confessed wearily. "I had to guess from what I could find in Uncle Milford's files…I just - hoped I had the right place, and the right time, and then - I dived down the waterfall…"

She felt the shiver of horror go through right through his body, and then he was kissing her in a frenzy, covering her face with warm, dry, tender kisses, holding her tightly around her waist, almost bruising her. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the overwhelming feeling of being in his arms again, of feeling his hands on her, his mouth on her mouth, of hearing his voice murmuring her name against her ear.

"Stephanie, you're soaked," he said at last. "Come with me, let me warm you up, you have to let me take care of you."

Shades of the first, last and only night they had spent together; she had been soaked to the skin then, too, and he had dried her long hair with a towel and then undressed her slowly and lovingly, unwrapping her like a present, and spent long minutes driving her to the peak of ecstasy with his mouth and fingers. The memory of the unbelievable pleasure he had given her that first time suddenly filled her entire body with a sweet, aching need. That time he had been gentle, tender and slow, loving every inch of her skin until she felt she was going to melt away. This time, she wasn't sure she could wait. She needed him right now, this instant, to prove to herself and to the universe that they were united again.

"I think," she said softly, "I think I need you to - take care of me - right away - " and she saw his eyes turn dark and yearning, and knew he felt the same need, to reclaim her for his own, now, this instant.

She put her face up to his and kissed him hungrily, wrapping her fingers in his hair. Fumbling with the buttons, he unfastened her coat and let it fall from her shoulders, and she felt the cold chill on her skin as the wind blew over the layers of wet clothes beneath; but inside she was on fire, desperate to feel his hands on her skin. She slipped her hands beneath the soft dark fabric of his sweatshirt, and heard him murmur at the thrill of her touch. Longing to be closer to him, she pressed herself against him and felt the heat of his arousal through their clothes.

"We can't stay here," he muttered, not taking his mouth off hers. "It's too cold, you'll freeze - we need to get inside - "

Twenty paces to the foot of the rope-ladder that led up to the ship, and they were hardly able to stop kissing and stroking and caressing and gently squeezing for long enough to stagger dazedly over to it. By the time they reached the foot of the ladder she had got his sweatshirt off over his head, and he had peeled her clammy, wet t-shirt off and was frantically kissing her breasts and shoulders.

Fifteen rungs of the ladder to climb, and they weren't sure they could wait until they reached the top. If anyone could make love to me on a rope ladder, this is the man, she thought to herself, as they swayed perilously in mid-air, unable to take their hands off each other. It had never taken him so long to climb up before, even the night when she lay as limp as a rag in his arms, as he carried her to his home for the first time and tenderly wrapped her up warm.

Standing in the doorway of the airship now, breathing hard, clinging to each other. Without shame or shyness, she took his hand and slid it down below the waistband of her jeans, putting his fingers right on the spot, pressing herself against him, watching his face to see his response. Then she laid her hand over his groin, outlining the long, thick, lovely shape of him with her fingers, feeling the thrill deep inside her when he had to seize her hand and hold it still against him, fighting against the pleasure that threatened to overwhelm him.

Ten steps to the bed, but even that was too far: now they were kneeling on the floor, shredding off the last of their clothes. With the grace that had always touched her heart, he rolled her firmly on top of him, holding her against him, gentling her, caressing her, driving her wild with his kisses and with his fingers reaching into her most secret, sensitive places. Aching to feel him inside her, she wriggled her hand downwards and moved him blissfully against her.

"Sweetheart, please, wait," he whispered, laughing a little, trying to capture her hands, to hold her still. "Not yet, not so fast, let me - darling, please, that's just unbelievable, but you have to let me be good to you too - really, I mean it, if you keep doing that, this is all going to be over in a minute -"

"A minute's all I need," she whispered back, looking into his eyes. "Please don't make we wait any longer, I don't think I can stand it…"

And he swept her up in his arms and rolled her underneath him, and she cried out in ecstasy as he plunged deeply into her, and then she heard his long, low moan of pleasure, and they lay spent and completely exhausted in each other's arms, and she thought to herself, I've finally come home.

They lay for long minutes on the floor of the airship, slowly coming back down from the peak of bliss, waiting for their breathing to return to normal.

After a while they began to realise that they were lying on the platform of the airship with the night air streaming in, as cold and uncomfortable as it was possible to be. Stephanie's damp jeans were in a crumpled heap between them, with the belt and buckle digging into both of them; the floor was hard and unaccommodating, and the breeze was icy and unforgiving against their naked skin. They looked at each other and laughed, wanting to move, but not wanting to lose the closeness.

"Oh well," he said to her at last, his whole face alight with laughter. "I suppose we at least made it off the beach…"

--

Later, they climbed back down the ladder with blankets and cushions. Stephanie was dressed in his discarded sweatshirt, which slipped off her shoulders and came down to her knees. He built a fire on the beach from the bleached white driftwood; the tide had begun to go out again and the firelight flickered over the slick, wet pebbles near the shoreline. She leaned against him, cradled in his arms, and watched the fire crackle and spit.

As she leaned her head back and smiled at him, his arms went around her and he kissed the back of her neck for a slow, dreamy time, his hands caressing her long bare legs.

"You should wear my clothes more often," he whispered in her ear, as his fingers inched teasingly upwards.

"I might have to. I left my bag in a hotel in Reykjavik…" his fingers caressed the soft skin of her inner thigh. "Oh, that feels…absolutely lovely…"

He chuckled. "Believe me, it absolutely does..." She turned around in his arms and knelt so she was facing him, and her hands caressed the firm perfection of his chest and stomach, then moved slowly downwards. "Oh, sweetheart, so does that…and that is just beautiful…come here, let me - " She leaned against his shoulder and quivered in ecstasy as with one hand he began to stroke her nipples, caressing them into tender pink peaks, while the other hand slid between her thighs and tickled her, gently, acutely, deliciously, until she could hardly move or breathe with delight. Helpless to resist, she hid her face against his shoulder and surrendered to his loving, insistent hands and the unbelievable pleasure they were giving her.

"But that's just not fair," she wailed afterwards. He held her by her shoulders, and looked into her face in amusement and disbelief.

"What's not fair? What on earth do you mean?"

"Every time I get close to you - every time I tell myself that this time I'm going to make you feel the way you make me feel - you start touching me instead, and I just melt away and all my good intentions disappear - don't smile at me like that, I mean it, I'm being serious - "

He was trying not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself.

"You," he said, kissing her ear lovingly, "are the sweetest, most adorable, most ridiculous girl I have ever met. Apart from anything else, don't you know how amazing it feels for me to be able to make you feel like that? Men everywhere feel that way. Trust me. This I cannot be wrong about."

"But I want to please you too, so much…you're so good, you just don't know - "

He had got over his amusement, and was looking at her seriously, his blue eyes looking straight into hers. "This is what you do to me, Stephanie," he said softly, and gently laid her hand flat against his chest so she could feel his heart racing. Then, even more gently, he took her hand in his again and guided it downwards. "This is what you do to me…don't ever worry, sweetheart, promise me you won't…you have absolutely no idea how much you please me…now come here…" He lifted her onto his lap, and she wrapped her legs around him, his fingers still caressing her even as he moved inside her, until they both cried aloud to the stars in rapture.

Afterwards, they lay down again, wrapped in the blankets, and looked up at the black, starry sky.

"It's very beautiful here," Stephanie said at last, and he smiled.

"I thought maybe it would seem too barren to you, after Lazytown. Everything is just so abundant there, the grass is so thick, the sky is so blue, there's so much sunshine. When I first arrived there it was almost too much - too pretty - too easy. Here everything is a little more pared down. We're that much closer to the bones of the earth…I'm glad you think it's beautiful. I used to wonder if I'd ever have the chance to show it to you."

"Is this the beach where you used to live?"

He pointed to the cliffs at the edge of the beach.

"See over there? I was born in a house just about there, by that white rock. It was a beautiful place to grow up, right by the water, the sound of the waves filling the house all day long. When I was older we moved into the city, but we used to come down here as often as we could…to visit the ocean." He stroked her hair. "Stephanie, can I ask you something now? How on earth did you get here? Do you know what you did, how unbelievably rare it is for one of your kind to come here unaccompanied?"

She sighed.

"After you left…I - oh, this is embarrassing - I was so angry with everyone. I went to see Robbie, I don't know what I thought I was going to do, but I wanted to get back at him somehow, for what he did. So I went to see him. And he invited me in and then he told me - he told me everything…"

She could feel his amazement. "Robbie knew how you could find me? But how - how could Robbie - ?"

So she told him the story Robbie had told her, the story of Robbie and Bessie and Number Nine, and how the town had so nearly perished in the terrible aftermath of love and misunderstanding. Afterwards, he was silent for a long time. She felt herself begin to drowse a little, her head resting against his shoulder.

"I didn't know any of that," he said at last. "They never told me. All I knew was that there had been someone before me and it hadn't worked out. They said that something had changed and there was a reason to try again. They wanted a volunteer, and it sounded like such an amazing thing to do…Poor Bessie. And poor, poor Robbie. It's a terrible thing to lose the love of your life."

"He told me he didn't love him," protested Stephanie. "He said it was just f - er - just fun."

"Mmm. That was what he said, of course…or some other word beginning with 'f', maybe?…and how often does Robbie tell the truth?" He stroked her hair. "No wonder he hated me so much."

"What do you mean?" She twisted round to look at him.

"How would you have felt if someone else had taken my place in Lazytown, and you had to watch him fall in love and be happy, when you hadn't been allowed to? It must have been so difficult for him, I wish I'd known all of this…"

"You're the only person I know who could look at Robbie and see someone who needs sympathy," she said, nestling closer to him.

"I'm sure he would have been a better man if the course of his life hadn't been so sad. And in the end, he did what he could to help you - to help us."

"Well, that's true…but on the other hand, he also got me drunk and made a pass at me," she said idly.

"He did what?"

"Oh, I don't think he was all that serious about it. He probably just wanted to see if he could make me blush."

He didn't say anything, just carried on holding her. It was his stillness that gave him away, the slight flinch in his fingertips, almost instantly controlled, as they rested on her skin. She cried out in distress and put her hand on his face.

"Oh, you can't possibly think - this is Robbie we're talking about! I think he only did it to try and embarrass me. There just isn't a chance, not ever, not with him, not with anyone - you must know that there's only ever been you, there will only ever be you…"

"I'm sorry," he said softly, caught off guard.

"I don't mind, of course I don't. I just didn't think you could ever imagine that - that there would ever be anyone else - that I would even look at anyone else - "

He smiled at her and stroked her hair, but she could see the vulnerability in his eyes. "Well, it may be hard for you to believe, Stephanie, but I don't actually find myself all that compelling. If you really want to know, I find it…completely amazing…that you choose to be with me."

She looked at him in disbelief.

"Do you actually own a mirror? Have you even noticed how you make me feel? What it's like when you touch me?"

"Oh…" he made a dismissive gesture. "All of that - that's just genetics, and luck, and - and paying attention. I'm talking about the other things, the things that matter. About wanting to be with someone every day, about feeling happy just because they're there with you, about wanting to share every part of your life with them. All of this - the physical thing - I think you know that I've had that before…but without ever having any of the rest. And if that's all there is, just wanting to touch each other, it's nothing, it doesn't reach your heart, it fades away, it can't last… for ever is a long time, Stephanie. For as long as I've known you, you've dreamed of being a wonderful dancer, of travelling the world. You know that I can't come with you. Not really, not for long. I have…responsibilities…a duty to Lazytown." He looked down at their clasped hands. "You're so young, sweetheart. I love you, but that doesn't give me the right to expect anything from you."

"And is that why you wouldn't let me tell you - "

"I didn't want you to be committed in a way you might have regretted later," he said simply. "It might have only been for that one night. If that was all you'd wanted from me…" he shrugged helplessly.

She wanted to choose her next words very carefully, to make absolutely sure there was no misunderstanding.

"If I could have everything," she said slowly, "then of course that's what I'd choose. Who wouldn't? I would travel all over the world, be a prima ballerina in Paris, in London, in New York, in Sydney, and still be able to have you with me. And we'd be able to come home to Lazytown whenever we wanted, and still teach the children on Saturday mornings, and see our friends, and have a family too, children of our own…if I could choose all of that, I would, I can't deny that. But - in the real world - no-one gets everything they want. So you have to choose the thing that matters most, and make sure you choose well. And I know, I know, that what matters most to me is you, just you. I meant what I said. I will follow you anywhere, be wherever you want to be. Because if I'm not with you…none of the rest of it is worth having." She paused. "So, I would really like to know…will you come back with me to Lazytown?"

"Didn't I tell you?" he asked her, genuinely bewildered.

"Actually, no. We…got distracted."

He smiled. "Surely you don't need to ask? Of course I will come back to Lazytown, Stephanie. I would be honoured to accept the contract." He paused. "And…there is also a question I would like your answer to. Will you marry me?"

"Do you need to ask? Yes! Yes! Of course I'll marry you! There's nothing I'd like more. Yes, please, I want to be your wife. I do. More than anything."