Chapter 10

"Emotions cause us to do things we never thought was possible. They change one's personality especially if the emotions are strong. Love, hate, guilt, loathing. We are unable to see ourselves if the feeling is too intense. It often blinds us. It is one thing that can cause fractures in our carefully created masks. One mistake, one extreme emotion, one self doubt is all it takes to reveal the things we have tried so hard to conceal." -From the diary of Keely Lupin

I laid there, starring up at the crimson canopy of my four posted bed. The curtains were drawn closed, but the sounds of four other girls could be heard. I had not slept at all last night and had said nothing to anyone after 'the incident'. Even when Hermione had come into the room after Ginny had left.

I couldn't believe what I had done. I had let my anger get the better of me and I had actually used magic against someone unarmed, and not in a joking or pranking, but in anger and irritation. That was not like me. A shiver went through my body as I remembered what happened the night before the what seemed to be the one thousandth time…

"I gave you the chance to leave, but you chose to push me too far," I said with a steady voice, never breaking eye contact with her. "I can make it so you never make that mistake again."

Suddenly, all light disappeared in the dorm and we were encased in pure darkness. I could hear screams from the common room. The lights must have gone out downstairs too with the energy surge.

"What just happened," Ginny whispered to the dark, the panic in her voice steady.

It was as if her voice had struck a different cord within me. What was I doing? This was not the type of person I was supposed to become. Giving in to my emotions like this was wrong, not matter how much I still wanted to get back at Ginny. The most she could do would be to give me a 'Bat Boogy' hex. I could do serious damage.

"Ginny, I'm sorry, but you really should not have opened your mouth," I quietly apologized for her, walking in her direction. Even though I could not see, I knew exactly where she was due to the fearful magical signature radiating off of her.

I placed a finger on her forehead and she flinched away at my touch. "Don't touch me! J-just stay away…"

Not listening to her plea, I placed my finger on her forehead again. "I promise you won't remember any of this. Obliviate..."

I erased her memory. Oh Merlin… I erased someone's memory and over what? Because she was dating the boy I like? How pathetic is that? I groaned out loud, covering my eyes with the crook of my arm.

"Keely? You up," Hermione's voice drifted passed the curtains.

"Unfortunately," I answered back.

"You went to bed early last night I didn't get a chance to tell you that Ron told me last night that Harry was looking for you," Hermione said jumping onto my bed.

"I don't care," I said burrowing into my blankets and hiding my head. I couldn't get out of my mind what I had done to Ginny. There was no way I was going to talk to Harry. He probably only wanted to lecture me on how I really messed up his life by making Ginny forget.

"I know that is a lie. You do care," Hermione argued. "There is not a soul in this school who cares for Harry more than you." She must have seen the roll of my eyes because she continue her rant with more passion. "Who was the one who found Harry and sent a message to Dumbledore during our first year after the Fluffy incident? Who was the one who distracted the basilisk during our second year in order to prevent Harry from being cornered? Who was the one that followed Harry to Moody's office after the third task? Who was the one who led—"

"Hermione, stop," I cut her off. "I understand your point, but that does not mean I want to face the world right now. Not after what I have done."

"Okay, so maybe skipping classes and avoiding all your friends was not the best decision, but Harry has been asking about you for days. There are only so many days I can tell him 'it's a girl thing.'"

Hold on. Something wasn't adding up. "Hermione, why do you think I'm avoiding everyone?"

"Because Ginny kissed Harry, but I told you a million times before… nothing has happened since."

My eyes widened. Nothing has happened since? What the hell is she talking about?

"Harry has been too worried about you these past couple of weeks to talk to anyone else, let alone go near Ginny. Anyway, today is the day you stop hiding and actually attend all of your classes. So get out of bed, get showered and dressed and meet me downstairs for breakfast in no more than 30 minutes." Hermione was gone before I even had the time to process what she was saying.

There was no arguing with Hermione so I did as she said and got ready for the day. When I walked into the common room I had three minutes to spare and Hermione wasn't there.

"Hey!"

I was startled by the voice and immediately whipped around, waving my arms in front of my face in a chopping motion—automatically making me feel stupid because I am a witch and can perform magic. Some all powerful protector I have turned out to be.

Harry was laughing at my reaction. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you into ninja mode."

There was a pause between the two of us as we just stared at each other. Then we both started to say something at the same time.

"I'm sorry—"

"How are you feeling—"

Harry continued to look at me. "Why are you sorry? I understand why you've been avoiding us."

"Harry, it is my fault if Ginny was acting weird this morning. We had a bit of a row last night and things got a little out of hand," I explained in one breath. Being this close to him I couldn't bring myself to lie.

"I don't know what Ginny has to do with this, but I wanted to let you know that I know you haven't been feeling well and with Sirius' birthday coming up, I don't blame you for being depressed," Harry told me with a soft smile and saddened eyes.

"Have you talked to Ginny today?"

"No," Harry gave me a strange look. "It's not like we talk every day. Listen, Keys, whatever happened between you and Ginny, it's going to be okay. I know it's a hard time for you. I struggling a bit too knowing I won't be able to wish him a Happy Birthday. But what do you say to you and I planning a party for him anyway. We can start the planning tonight."

He thought that the reason for my depression was due to my father's upcoming birthday. To tell the truth, I had almost forgotten that my father's birthday was only a week away, but I could not focus on that right now. "Tonight might not be good," I told him. I was pretty sure if I showed my face in my classes than I would be forced into a training session with one of my professors. My blissful weeks of loathing and self pity was about to come to an end.

"Come on. This is the first time I have really seen you in weeks," Harry replied. There was something in his eyes other than sadness, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. "Please!"

With a sigh I agreed.

"Great." The smile on Harry's face was practically radiant. I hate being such a love sick girl. One smile from the boy and I forget that I have been avoiding him for weeks.

Our first class was Charms. Harry and I walked to class in a comfortable silence. The smile was still lingering on his lips.

"Have a seat class," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Today we will be practicing the silencing charms you learned about earlier in the week. Now pair up! And somebody please pair up with Mr. Longbottom this time!"

Poor Neville's cheeks flared red with embarrassment. I was about to go over to partner up with him, but Harry grabbed my arm and pulled me back down into my seat.

"Nope, we're partners for the whole day," Harry smiled. That smile! Gah!

I snuck one more glace over in Neville direction to make sure that he wasn't an embarrassed puddle under his desk. Luckily, a quiet Hufflepuff girl had partnered up with poor Neville.

Turning back to Harry, I pulled my wand out of my inside robe pocket. "Alright, Chosen One. Give me your best shot."

Before Harry could even pull out his wand, Professor Flitwick descended upon us. "Miss Lupin, it is so great of you to join us today. I had almost forgotten you were in this class." He handed me a slip of paper. "You will have detention tonight with the Headmaster. I highly suggest you show up for class once in a while." And without leaving time for me to reply or argue, the short professor had gone back to the front of the classroom.

This meant Dumbledore was back from whatever adventure he had been on and was waiting for an excuse to send me to his office for yet another training session.

"I guess our party planning session will be put on hold." Harry looked almost crushed.

"No, it's late detention. We should have enough time after dinner for a couple of hours at least," I said looking down at the time on the slip of paper. He must have something important to say if he scheduled one of our meetings for right after supper. "Now, let's just get through this class and then we—" I was suddenly cut off. Words were no longer coming out of my mouth. I tried over and over. Harry was practically doubled over laughing. How had I not noticed he was about to silence me? Well, two can play at this game. I didn't need words to silence him.

I chanted the words to the spell in my head and pointed my wand at his mouth. I tried again to quiet him this time shaking the wand a little bit as if to wake it from some kind of hibernation, but again nothing happened. For some reason, this blasted wand was no longer working. All I could do was stare at the stupid thing.

"You're supposed to silence me, not conduct an orchestra." Harry continued to laugh.

This is how things were before he started dating Ginny. The joking and laughing. Thinking about Ginny caused my mood to drop instantly. Harry could see the change immediately.

"Keys, are you okay," Harry rushed over to my side. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You haven't been feeling well."

No, no, no, no, no. Why was he apologizing? I should be the one apologizing for attacking Ginny last night. I shouldn't be enjoying my time with Harry right now. He loves Ginny. This shouldn't be happening! Harry was still supposed to be with Ginny. I didn't mean to split them up like that. I just wanted him to be happy.

I dropped to my knees and pressed my hands against my temples. These intruding thoughts of Ginny and Harry were cutting through my mind like a knife as was the repetitive sound of my classmates reciting the same incantation. It was mixing with my own garbled thoughts and it all sounded so mocking. Stop! I yelled in my mind. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Suddenly the entire room went silent, but I was too far inside my head to notice. I kept chanting 'shut up' in my mind. The only thing that brought me out of my current state was someone shaking my shoulders. I looked up to see Harry mouthing something. Had I gone deaf?

Slowly looking around the room, I noticed everyone was slightly panicked. They were all trying to talk at once but nothing was coming out of their mouths. Every single person had been silenced.

Harry grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly so I would look directly at him. He was mouthing calming words. With a couple of breaths I was able to focus solely on Harry.

"Finite" I whispered in my head. All at once the panicked voices of my classmates accosted the silence.

"Now, now, children," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Let's all calm down! No harm done. Back to your practicing." He looked straight at me when he said the last part. I knew he was aware I was the one who cast the spell, but he didn't want to call me out in front of the class. My abilities and training were still supposed to be hush-hush regardless if I had just inadvertently destroyed that secret twice in 24 hours.

Once everyone had gone back to their own devices, Harry continued to stare at me in awe. "That was you weren't it. You silenced everyone in the room non-verbally."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I had a panic attack not being able talk."

Harry smirked. He knew I was lying. "I have seen you go days without saying a word. I have also seen what you are capable of doing wandlessly."

"Wandlessly," I laughed breaking my worry. "I am not sure that is even a word."

"Of course it is. You have just missed so many classes this year you have not been privy to our vocabulary lessons." Harry's cheeky grin never left his face.

"Hmm, sounds absolutely fascinating. I am terribly disappointed I have missed out on those lectures."

"You should be. They were the best classes I have been to in my life."

The straight-laced way Harry was trying to convince me of the curriculum changes caused me to burst. I could not help but come apart with laugher. It felt good to laugh.

The rest of the day flew by. Harry and I spent the majority of the time teasing and whispering to each other in-between passing notes. It was like we were twelve years old again.

"I can't believe the way Slughorn was avoiding you. If I didn't know any better I would say you gave him already chewed crystallized pineapple," I laughed as Harry and I entered the Common room after a day of lessons. "And trust me, Slughorn does not take kindly to someone eating his pineapple. I learned that the hard way."

"It doesn't surprise me that you have experience in that matter," Harry shook his head at me. "He's just upset with me because I refused to tell him my potions secret."

I looked at my best friend. He was not one to lie to me and this was an obvious lie. "Tell the truth. If anything, he would be pestering you more not avoiding you. Now tell me what you are hiding."

"I'm not hiding anything," Harry said, but his eyes were not meeting mine.

Grabbing Harry's chin, I tried to force him to look at me. "Look me in the eyes and say that." However, Harry was resisting. He kept trying to turn his head away, but I wouldn't relent.

"Keys, stop. It's not a big deal," Harry said as he continued to pull away.

"The fact that you just said it wasn't a big deal means that there is something going on. Now tell me. What did you do to Slughorn? I know I haven't been around for a while, but I want in the loop."

"Just drop it, Keys," Harry argued. He started to get up from the couch but I quickly pounced on this lap effectively pinning him down.

"Never!"

"You're acting like a child," Harry laughed still making a point to avoid my eyes.

"No, you're acting like a child!"

"Hey guys," Ron said coming up behind us. Harry immediately stood up sending me to the ground with a heavy 'thump.' "It's good to see you back in the land of the living, Keys."

"Thanks, Ron." I sent him a grimaced at him from my position at his feet.

Laughing Harry bent down, offering a hand to pull me up and I did what any best friend would do, I yanked on his arm so he fell as well. However, I didn't account for the fact he would most likely fall on me, which he did.

All the air seemed to leave both of us at the impact. After a couple of seconds, Harry tried to maneuver to the side, but seemed frozen in place hovering above me. I shifted my gaze to look his straight in the eyes and was shocked to see how close his face was to mine. My cheeks began to turn pink at our close proximity. The unexpected, but greatly anticipated, flicker of his eyes to my lips sent my mind numb. All I had to do was lift my head up slightly and our lips would be touching. I was about ready to make that move when the reality of where we were kicked in.

"Am I interrupting something," Hermione asked from above. Her eyes were sparkling with amusement which caused my cheeks to blush a deeper red.

"What do you say, Keys? Is Hermione interrupting something," Harry chuckled, not changing his position.

"Okay, this is getting too awkward for me. I'm interrupting," Ron announced. I was able to look my eyes away from Harry's and looked over to Ron. His face was flushed and his ears were turning the color of his hair.

"I think we are making Ron uncomfortable." Harry smirked.

"Harry, get off me," I whispered. He rolled himself off of me and pushed off the floor, extending his hand towards me. I took his hand, this time allowing him to hoist me up. A little too much strength was used as I came flying up caused us to smash our foreheads together. We both stumbled back a little bit dazed.

"Bloody hell, Potter. You have a really hard head," I hissed, clutching my head, eyes watering. "You're lucky I am seeing two of you otherwise I would have known which one curse."

"I'm lucky? Lucky! Keys, you're a genius." Harry swiftly picked me up, spun me around a few times, and then placed me back on the ground before rushing up towards his room.

"What was that about," Hermione asked rushing over to stabilize me as I stumbled through my disorientation.

"Not sure," I said trying to catch my breath. "He called me a genius before rushing up to his room.

"So that was quite the moment I was interrupting between the two of you," Hermione changed the subject. "What was that all about?"

A smile crept up on my face. "I'm not sure. It felt so natural to spend time with him after…"

"…Avoiding him for weeks."

"I wasn't just avoiding him," I muttered turning away from Hermione.

"When who else were you avoiding because you were avoiding Ron and me by extension as well, you know," Hermione questioned as she followed me over to the couch.

"I was mostly avoiding Harry and Ginny. I couldn't stand seeing them together," I reluctantly explained throwing myself on the couch.

"Harry and my sister are together," Ron practically yelling his question.

"Yeah," I began slowly. "They have been together since the last Quidditch match and I haven't been able to face either of them sense. It was just too embarrassing."

"I can't believe he would date my sister without telling me," Ron seethed, jumping up from where he sat and began charging towards the boy's dormitory. "My sister!"

"Wait! Ron! Stop," I shot up from my seat once again and cut my red headed friend before he made it to the stairs. "You knew they were together. You have Harry your blessing."

"I think I would remember something like that! It was weird enough that they kissed but going out! How dare him," Ron talked through clenched teeth.

What was going on? How could Ron not remember Ginny and Harry had been dating for weeks now? Something was wrong. I knew today was too good to be true.

"Keys, that doesn't make any sense. We would know if Harry was dating someone; we are with him practically every day," Hermione reasoned as she approached us. She put a hand on both of our shoulders. "I don't remember Harry even saying he was interested in Ginny like that."

They don't remember. How can they not remember? Harry and Ginny were practically inseparable. It's like their entire memory of Harry and Ginny had been… wiped clean… changed. Oh. Merlin.

A/N: Hi everyone! I am so sorry it has been... 5 months. I have had this chapter written for a while and I can't believe I didn't post it. Apparently it is really easy to lose track of time. The next chapter should be up very very soon, I promise.

Review or PM me if you have any question/comments/concerns. Thanks to everyone for sticking around and to those of you who are new readers! Thanks you guys!

Always,
orangezauber