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Chapter Ten
The lights flickered and buzzed as they illuminated the hotel room and vanquished the darkness back into the night where it belonged. It wasn't quite the haven of his own home that Seto longed for at that precise moment in time, but the seclusion it brought was comfortable enough. Together he and Kisara entered into the room and closed the door behind them only to be met with an awkward silence.
As promised Jack had kept his word in explaining the incident to Kisara. She'd sat and listened to what he'd had to say, nodding her understanding and held off asking questions that were eventually explained as the captain continued. The acceptance of the ordeal had been taken rather well considering the restraint she'd found herself under whilst her loving husband had pointed a gun at her head, as well as the loss of the woman she'd recently befriended and the German's death she'd witnessed first hand. Once all that was taken care of, it was then insisted that the couple return to their hotel whilst the Torchwood duo went about taking care of business and dealt with the disposal of the two bodies.
It's just shock. Seto told himself as his wife still had yet to say anything more than a couple of words at a time to him since he'd rejoined them a short while ago in the tourist information office. Jack says it's normal and she'll be talking again in no time; just be patient.
Kisara took several paces away from him.
No, he's wrong, she's definitely avoiding me. Nervously Seto broke the uneasy stillness. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She replied whilst maintaining her distance and avoiding his gaze. He eyes were focused on her hands that had been vigorously scrubbed clean of Lois' blood yet still they felt defiled. I can't believe she's dead! With a sudden shake of her head she spun around to face him straight on. "Actually no, I'm not!"
Here it comes; she hates me!
"How can they act so calm about this!"
The wide eyed questioning look he'd received and tone of her voice had set his mind at ease since they displayed no hatred like he'd first feared. "That's Torchwood for you." Seto made a halfhearted attempt to lighten the situation with his jest as he stepped closer to his wife. "That's what they're trained to do."
"But two people are dead!" She sternly stated as he carefully took the jacket from her arms. "And what? They just expect us all to carry on like nothing has happened?"
"Well it's better than the alternative."
Kisara frowned in response to the bitter sarcastic comment that had been made as she watched him walk towards the wardrobe in order to hang up the garment. He can't seriously be blaming himself for any of this? "It wasn't your fault Seto. Once Jack's explained it all to the police they'll see that too. No one is going to accuse you of murder..."
"If it was really that simple, do you honestly think he and Ianto would be doing what they are right now?!" He snapped anxiously as he let his own worries rise to the surface.
"But they're Torchwood, surely they'll listen to what he has to say?"
"After the way the government turned on them several years back, I highly doubt it."
"What?" Kisara's brow furrowed at her husband's scoff.
"Never mind." Seto tried to shrug off the fact he'd foolishly let slip. If she was clever enough to link it back to his behaviour and the 456 incident then his secret about being apart of Torchwood was blown. "The point is I can't afford to hand them a situation which would tarnish my reputation and land me behind bars."
"That's not forced to happen..."
"Oh come off it Kisara, of course it'll happen!" His voice was stridently raised as he spoke. "I've got the accusation of murdering my stepfather filed in my past. It would only be dragged back up,- the media would make sure of it,- so that the two can be analysed, compared and used to strengthen this evening's events against me. I guess I should just be grateful that there's no death penalty in this country!"
"Like you say, it's an accusation." Kisara pointed out. She had no intention of letting her husband anxiously work himself up in fear of being found guilty of the killings. "There wasn't enough evidence to prove you did anything."
There was a disgusted sneer to Seto's lips as he misinterpreted his wife's words. "You say that as though you believe I actually did kill Gozaburo."
"What?!" She exclaimed, wondering how he had come to such a conclusion. He can't seriously think I'm against him? I'm trying to help!
"Well?" He challenged, staring her down in the process. "Do you think I'm capable of being a cold blooded killer?"
"Seto I ..." She hesitated. What could possibly be going through his head to confront her on such a matter? And how was she meant to approach and deal with the situation without it stirring up more agitation? "Darling, your mind's twisting my words into something they're not."
"You didn't answer my question."
Silently Kisara fought back against the stare she received. In all their years of being together it was the only time his look had ever frightened her. He was clearly angry with his demand and yet at the same time he was also scared. Finally she gave her truthful answer, "No, I don't believe you are."
That's where you're WRONG! Seto's mind roared. "Shut up!" He turned away from her and his head fell into his hands. Fingers clutched at clumps of hair as though trying to extract,- or at least silence,- the voice from within his head. She believes in me, she knows me … She doesn't know you at all … I said, shut up!
As she watched her husband's peculiar, heartbreaking and almost childlike behaviour, tears began to form in Kisara's eyes. "I understand you're scared, but you're not the only one." She felt awful about what she was saying with the knowledge that it wouldn't improve his state of mind, but she had come to the end of her tether as the tears began to ooze down her face. "Countless times I've tried to help you Seto, yet still you refuse to let me in. I can't do it anymore. In case you haven't noticed, I'm distraught too right now. I can't continue to provide all the emotional stability between us; On. My. Own."
Then maybe you should leave? This first though was directed at his wife before he then battled with himself once more. Shut up!… She'd be far better off without you … Shut up!... Just think of how much happier she would be. You can't deny what you know to be true … SHUT UP!
Her heart broke more as she witnessed his tightly scrunched up eyes. Was that a sign that her harsh words were getting through to him? "Darling I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you, but I also need my husband back." She stepped closer towards him and reached out to place her hand on one of his arms. "I won't abandon you like this. Together we're stronger and can accomplish anything thrown our way."
Why won't she just go? … Because she foolishly loves you, that's why! Seto gradually raised his head out of his hands and looked at his devoted wife. You bastard, you made her cry! He pulled her close and squeezed her tightly. "Honey I'm sorry."
"It's okay." She gasped with relief at having managed to reel him back from despair. Her arms returned the hug and voice was still tearful. "But you have to start letting me in. I can't help you if you don't allow me too."
I can't. He held back the strangled cry that was trying to escape him. I don't want you aware of my involvement in things like those you were forced to witness earlier. His head buried into Kisara's long flowing silvery hair where he heaved a heavy sigh as he knew what he had to do, despite not wanting to do so.
Forcing his mouth to curve, Seto pulled back from the loving embrace. "Okay, … I'm ready to talk." He saw his quivered smile reflect on his wife's face and gently wiped the lingering tears from her eyes. "You go and clean yourself up whilst I make us some hot cocoa, then we'll sit down together and I'll tell you everything so that we can came to a clearer understanding."
"Everything?"
"Everything." He confirmed with a nod. "Anything that you what to know I'll tell, they'll be no holding back from now on."
The smile widened on Kisara's face at the progress her husband had achieved with his willingness to open up to her and made it known to him. "I'm so proud of you." She leant forward and landed a slow tender kiss on his lips before heading off to the en-suite bathroom.
Once he was alone in the room, a trembling gasp escaped him. I can't do this. Seto made his way over towards the small kitchenette area and flicked the switch on the kettle. But you've just told her you will, or did you plan on deceiving her all along? … Shut up!
His thoughts still lingered as powdered cocoa was tipped into the two cups. I've no choice. What else could I do? … Why ask me? I thought you wanted me to shut up? … I'm being rhetorical, you didn't have to answer … Then you should make that clearer the next time you think in such a manner!
The force of the water boiling inside the kettle caused it to rumble on its stand whilst Seto emptied the contents of his pockets onto the counter top. His cell phone had been switched off all day, and letting curiosity get the better of him, he powered it up to check for any messages that may have been left. Knowing it would take a little while for the handset to come back to life and reconnect with the service provider, he refocused on making the hot beverages and poured the water into the cups.
I CAN do this. He told himself. Steam began to rise upwards carrying the aroma of chocolate in its twisting vapour ribbons as the two drinks were stirred to ensure that the powder had thoroughly dissolved. I HAVE to do this.
"Are we conducting this conversation on the bed or at the table?" Kisara asked as she reappeared looking fresh faced and dressed in her shimmering silk nightwear.
"Whichever you prefer." He replied with a faint yet genuine smile at the way she'd just tried to put him at ease by implying that his heartfelt revelation would be no different than one of his business meetings; those he could handle just fine.
The table had been chosen as the more convenient place to have their discussion as it meant their drinks had a firm and easily accessible place to rest. Kisara seated herself down whilst her husband made his way to her holding a cup in each hand. Once there himself, Seto placed his cup down on the table in front on the empty chair and then stood holding the other for his wife to take.
She didn't.
"What's wrong?" He enquired as he watched her eying the drink in an precarious manner.
"It's silly." She laughed sheepishly and unsure if she should mention her fear at all to him. "But after today … I just …"
"It's not poisoned." Seto assured knowing that she was indeed being wary after what had happened; not that he blamed her in the slightest. "Look, I'll prove it." He raise her cup up to his mouth and drank from it. "See?"
"I see." She smiled back appreciatively, hoping that she hadn't caused him any offence before an amused laugh escaped her at the sight of the chocolatey moustache that had been left behind. "Darling, you've got some residue above your lip."
His tongue protruded from his mouth and ran in a swoop from right to left. "Did I get it?"
"Yep, you did." Kisara now felt a pang of guilt for the momentary doubt she had just had in suspecting that Jack may have put her husband up to placing one of those retcon pills that she'd heard Gwen talk about that one time, into her drink. The sampling of her beverage proved this wasn't the case, though she wasn't prepared to take it from him just yet as her brows rose mockingly as she jeered, "I know for a fact that there's some cream in that refrigerator."
"Of course." Seto smirked as he feinted forgetfulness for the fact that his wife only drank hot cocoa if it was topped with something sweet. "I'll rectify that for you now Honey."
He walked back over to the kitchenette area and placed down the hot drink that soon became concealed from view once the refrigerator door had been opened. It was then he used the chance to pop the small white pill into her cup where it fizzled as it instantaneously dissolved. I'm sorry Kisara, but the least I can do is to erase that horrifying and inconceivable ordeal from your memory. It'll be for the best, both for you … and for me.
A mountain of swirly white cream was then sprayed from the small tin canister onto the liquid's surface where it hid any sign of the retcon, before he then carried it back towards the table and his patiently waiting wife. "There you are; one hot cocoa just the way you like it."
"Thank you." She took it from him and began to drink in tiny sips as he sat down opposite her. His cell phone suddenly sounded from where he had placed it on the counter top.
Beep-beep-beep-beep! ... Beep-beep-beep-beep! … Beep-beep-beep-beep! … Beep-beep-beep-beep! ... Beep-beep-beep-beep! … Beep-beep-beep-beep! ... Beep-beep-beep-beep!
"Someone's popular." Kisara half smirked at the indication of the missed calls as she took another sip.
"Yeah?" He agreed uneasily. I specifically told them only to call if it was important. "I'm sorry Honey, can you just excuse me for a moment?"
"Sure." She smiled whilst holding back the snarky reply she had actually wanted to say about how he favoured his work far too often. It wasn't worth the risk to ruin his mood and mentality just as he'd finally agreed, and was about to, share himself. Everything else, including her own current feelings, could wait if it meant he'd open up to her.
Seto got up from his seat and retrieved his phone to listen to the seven voicemail messages that had been left for him:"... Hi, it's Ryou. I um, … just wanted to express my concern. There's been a blip on the monitoring system so Diana and Joey have gone out to investigate. It looks like this thing is pretty evasive, whatever it is, … not sure if they're going to be capable of bringing it in on their own. That's all." … Beep!
"... It's me again. Just to update you, the thing was successfully captured and they're on their way back with it as I speak. Got to say that I'm relieved as for a moment there … Well, I probably shouldn't waste another second thinking about what could have happened. And I know this isn't the kind of thing you want to hear right now, but I think you should make updating the PDAs your priority once you return. I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but you haven't worked on them since Rebecca left. If you put it off for much longer then lives are likely to be lost... Bye." … Beep!
"... Hey there Rich-boy, how's the wedding? Please tell me the Welsh guy wore a dress." … "This isn't a valid reason for you to be calling him!" … "Chill Ryou, I'm just getting to the part about the creature we captured... Anyways, you should see this thing. It's huge! It's an ugly fucker too. A thing of nightmares. And me and Diana caught it. All. By. Our. Selves. So um, yeah, you just take your time with that cushy-mushy, lovey-dovey stuff and leave the real work to us. We're fine without ya." … Beep!
"... Seto, I need you! … I hate to disappoint and let you down, especially since you left me in charge in your absence, but we've had this being come through the rift and I'm not sure what to do. Me and Joey managed to detain it. Only just though; I doubt the holding cell will stand up to much more of its trashing... As much as I keep denying it to him, I think Ryou may be right and that this thing's more than we can handle... It's dangerous, it's fast and it's very, very strong. In fact I think we were lucky to take it down at all. If it wasn't for that supped-up stun gun Jack entrusted us with then I doubt me and Joey would be here right now... When you get this message, PLEASE come straight back and bring Jack... Sorry, I didn't mean to fail you. " … Beep!
"... Rich-boy we have have a problem. Get back here NOW!" … Beep!
"... For once I'm NOT screwing around! We fucking need you here! Jack too!" … Beep!
"... Why doesn't anyone have their bloody mobile switched on?! And what happened to the tourist office? That line's dead too." … "ROOOOAR!" … "This thing's loose and on a rampage. Under Diana's instructions I've put the base into lockdown to prevent it from escaping back into the city and we're doing everything we can to..." … "Arggghh!" … "Joey! Oh god help us!" … Beep!
"Is everything okay?" Kisara asked as she saw the colour drain from her husband's face.
Seto shook his head since his tongue failed to find any words at was not okay. His team was in danger and desperately needed his and Jack's help. He looked at his phone to see that the last message had been left just a few minutes ago. If I'm quick we can still save them.
"Honey, I have a really important call that I need to make right now." He didn't give her the chance to object as he strode over and kissed her goodbye on the cheek so as to avoid the possible contamination of retcon from her lips; he couldn't risk it triggering a seizure. "I'm sorry, but this can't wait. I'll be back as soon as I'm done."
"NO, hold on just a moment!" She exclaimed as he strode away from her as speedily as he had approached. "You promised me you'd be more open. What is going on?"
As he reached the door he stopped and turned to face at her before leaving. Could she really handle the truth? There was only one way to find out. "I'm about to go and get Jack, then the two of us are going to head back to Domino where three of my employees are trapped in Kaiba Corp's basement, along with a ferocious monster that's trying to kill them ... "
"Damn it Seto!" Kisara interrupted him, voice raised as her tried and exhausted patience gave out once more. "Why do you always find it so hard to tell me the truth?"
A hand ran down his exasperated face,- I don't have time for this right now!,- and gave a frustrated sigh as he bit back the temptation to argue and debate over how she had just disregarded the actual true he had given her like she'd asked for. The only speedy way out of the confrontation with her would be through more lies built on top of the foundations of the ones he'd already laid. "Okay Honey, you want the truth?; I'll give you the truth. Remember several years back when I actually did lose Kaiba Corp? Well it's happening again right now as shares are being bought right out from under me. If I'm not quick to act and stop it all from happening soon, then we are going to end up losing everything. There's nobody we can turn to who can bail us out this time around."
"You see, that wasn't so hard now was it?" She stated with a matter of fact type manner after having unknowingly accepted the lies that she had just been spun. "Darling, I understand how important your company is to you, and I'm not going to stop you from making the calls you need to in order to make sure that it stays yours, especially since you no longer have your brother there to fall back on. All I ask is to be kept in the loop and not lied too whilst you..."
"I'll be back soon." He stated and wasted no more time as he eagerly left for the tourist information office to find Jack.
"Seto!" Kisara infuriatingly shouted after her husband as the hotel door close behind him.
After a strangled scream of frustration, her eyes began to fill up once more as she failed to keep back the heartache of seeing him walking away so briskly like he had done. We're supposed to be a team! Why couldn't you make the call in front of me? Are things really that bad between us? Do you still think that me witnessing you at your most vulnerable makes me think less of you? Did you even listen to a single word I said or have ever said? She buried her face in crossed arms that now rest upon the table top. Darling please,… let me help you.
The soft sobs that left her lips only lasted mere seconds as she refused to completely cave and fought on to conquer the difficult task at hand. No; crying isn't going to improve or change the situation. Seto needs me to be there for him. She pushed herself back upright and wiped the tears from her face before letting out a deep breath. He'll be back soon... I can't let him see me like this.
Persevering with her heartfelt responsibility to protect her husband from harm, she rose out of the chair, taking her hot cocoa with her, and proceeded to make her way over to the tall floor to ceiling window. There she stood regathering her inner strength whilst staring out into the night with the cup raised to her lips. The cream had mostly melted into a sweet sticky layer that buoyed on top of the chocolatey beverage, and a calming feeling began to wash over her as she felt the warmth of the drink flow down through her body which then placed her mind at ease.
Far across the bay, she could see lights dazzle on the outside of the television studios that ran from one end to the other. Her view travelled along them as they lead to near a gigantic warehouse that looked big enough to home a small pod of whales. Eyes then lowered slightly to focus on the still and glistening water where the jetties had previously been filled with boats during the day, though only one or two currently remained docked in the dark.
A shadowy figure on the boardwalk then caught her attention and she watched as her husband made his way into the tourist information office. Seto? You said that you needed to make a call! Why are you going back there? …
"Aaargh!" A sudden sharp striking pain ran through her head like lightning, causing her to drop the cup which tumbled to the floor and made a brown splattering puddle across the ivory carpet.
Visions began to emerge from within the depths of Kisra's mind. All of them made no sense to her as she was bombarded with random images that held very little to no meaning …
… She was with Seto as they ran through the empty streets, lungs burning as she failed to keep up with him and heard the cry of 'Exterminate!' come from behind them … The horse galloped through the night, carrying her to safety and further away from danger and the boy who had saved her … A house hidden away in the rocky mountains where she and two young boys played amongst the rocks of purple, red and gold … She banged and banged with all her might though it was useless as she and the fiery haired woman remained trapped together inside the giant room as sparks flew in all directions … "Us?! So you've already decided for me have you?!" … More banging that she tried to ignore as she huddled in the corner of the room and cried … A shot to the chest suddenly immobilised her before she fell into the arms reaching for her … The silver leaves of the trees reflected the light from both suns, glowing like the fire from deep within their hearts as she and the boy stood together in the knee deep red grass … She saw Seto again as he staggering down the alleyway, using the wall to provide support to keep himself upright and although she wanted to stay longer and admire him, had other business that needed attending to … A baby cried as it was lovingly taken from her arms to allow her to rest … The remembrance of the malicious stare from deep within the dead man's green eyes that had once adored her…
"What the...?" She staggered back several steps before another much more vivid memory took hold …
# She stood with two boys before the big swirling void of darkness that was being shown to them. Anxious nerves filled her stomach and no-doubt her friends' too as they knew this momentous day was coming.
It was the blond boy's turn to step forward and approach the void, but after one step he turned and ran. Quite clearly he had foolishly let his nerves get the better of him.
Next it was her turn. Cautiously she edged closer to the gapping hole and peered into it. What she saw didn't scare her like it had her friend. In fact it had the opposite effect. She stood there mesmerised by the wonder and beauty of the universe. Cravingly she reached forward in an attempt to touch that which allured her.
Big mistake; she slipped forward and began to fall. Her body twisted as she fell and terrifyingly she stared back at her remaining friend who raced forwards to grab hold of her but failed as their fingertips were just slightly out of reach.
"KOSCHEI!" She screamed his name as she descended into darkness.#
Tears were falling now as the pressure inside Kisara's head was becoming too much for her to bare. It was as though somebody else's mind had been dormant in hers and was suddenly forcing it's way out. She raised her hands so that her palms were forcefully pushing against her temples and closed her eyes tightly. Please make it stop!
"I'm sorry my dear, but if anything it's only going to get worse."
She opened her eyes to see a man standing before her. He was far older, his face worn, with grey,- almost white,- head and facial hair. A brown leather overcoat defined his bedraggled look. Taking a quick glance around she saw that they weren't in the hotel room any more but in what she assumed was the top of a mountain or canyon cliff.
"You shouldn't have come back here. It's not safe. I … he wouldn't want you needlessly placed in such danger."
"Who wouldn't?" She found herself asking.
"I'm afraid that I'm not permitted to say."
"Why not?!"
He took a moment to gather his words as he looked at her longingly. "Because he would be devastated if something were to happen to you."
"Kisara?"
Hearing her name called brought her back out of the illusion she'd found herself in and back to the hotel room where she saw a woman sporting a mass of bronze coloured curls. Where had she come from? "Leave me alone." She sobbed at yet another fragment of her imagination, now convinced she was in the middle of some kind of breakdown brought on from earlier's traumatic event. "Get out of my head! All of you!"
"I'm not in your head Sweetie, I'm real. My name's Professor River Song. I'm a friend of your husband, he sent me."
"Seto sent you?" It seemed pretty unlikely. He always inform her beforehand of such things and people she hadn't yet met in order to help guard against the possibility of herself and their children ever being kidnapped.
River nodded in response to the teary and doubtful woman who was beginning to shake uncontrollably. She took a step closer towards her.
"Stay away!" Kisara warned threateningly as she battled against the multitude of voices from the ten men bickering inside her head, each one of them then taking their turn to make himself known as they spoke via her voice. "I used to be terribly good at name-dropping and bluffing my way into places, and these days I can't do it for toffee … Nonsense my dear child … I'm the Doctor; I can save the universe using a kettle and some string, and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable … You sir are a NITWIT! … Fantastic! … There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes … It must be the carrot juice making me blind … When I say run, run like a rabbit … Sorry, must dash … UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING!"
Feeling extremely short of breath, startled and scared from the sudden outburst, the silvery haired woman collapsed down onto all fours. "What's happening to me?"
"It's the retcon having a reverse effect on you; you're remembering." River stated as she swiftly rushed to the other woman's side and took hold of her in her arms tightly, then without warning a small device was taken out of her pocket and jabbed into Kisara's neck.
She screamed out from the impetuous action and the room began to dissolve into darkness.
"Shh, shh. It's okay." The assurance came as fingers stroked through the long silvery hair of the nearly unconscious woman in her grasp. "Everything is going to be okay, just as long as you don't remember. And you must never remember Sweetie. If you do it will kill you."
River paused and momentarily pursed her lips together in an attempt to keep her own heartache and experience at bay. When she next spoke there was a croak in her voice. "I know, because it's already killed me."
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A/N: Sorry if the chapter reads like a mess. I've done my best to tidy it up but I can't really alter or remove anymore to make it flow better -_- (Seto is an emotional wreck by this point and all that needs to stay, and Kisara's flashback montage doesn't look great in words)
"... a gigantic warehouse ..." - In real life that's actually the Doctor Who Experience Kisara was looking at.
The War Doctor kinda crept in there at the last moment. Since Kisara's 'breakdown' is part in relation to having her mind melded with the 10th Doctor, it figures she'd be aware of him too.
Bonus points for anyone who can match up the Doctor's quotes to their correct incarnation.
My original draft ended here, however my fic decided otherwise and there are still two more chapters to come :)
KG