A/N Just to clear up a little confusion from the last chapter, LeAnen is the woman Edward dated while he was in college and Jenny is Emmett's little sister who is away at collage being younger then Edward, and no, neither E or B remember meeting the other. They only met the one time.

This chapter was Beta'd by Michelle and ZanessaGaily from Project Team Beta. They stepped up and went the extra mile with me. Thank you PTB for having such awesome Betas.

This chapter had me worried that I would have to change the rating. Thank you Michelle for feeling I shouldn't change the rating yet. If anyone knows of a technical reason I should change it to M, please pm me.

Home, Not Home, Home

Chapter 9

Want

The room was quiet as Edward stalled for time before he spoke. He wasn't sure he could explain without breaking them both, but it wasn't words that broke him as he stole a glance at Bella trying to gain steam to say what he needed too. What broke him was the shiny trail of moisture that trailed across her cheeks, silent tears. It broke him as if he were a horse whose spirit was laid too waste by a cruel owner.

"Bella, I love you," he whispered, though in the quiet room sounded more like a shout. "I think I have since the day I met you at the cafe, and I don't know how to stop."

Desperation gave way to hope. The world as they knew it could change in a moment with one word. Was it too much to ask that he held feelings for her the same way she held feelings for him?

Warning sirens screamed at her to stop, let it go, and don't ask any more questions, but her world was too close to shattering to listen. This was her chance to get off the roller coaster no matter the cost.

"Would loving me be that awful? You love me...but you don't want to?" Bella asked.

Edward's world was spinning as he spoke the words. There was no going back now and from the look of tears in Bella's eyes, there was no stopping, only hoping...hope that she felt the same.

"I want to...if you want me to, or we could-"

Bella didn't let him finish his sentence. Whatever it was that Edward was thinking was impossible. His words had already given her strength to move forward. She wasn't wasting another day wondering what could be. In that moment, she let her heart speak instead of her head as she made her move.

Trapping his green eyes with her brown ones, she knotted her fingers in his hair at the nap of his neck. Bella's heart beat at an excited pace. The time for indecision long gone, she pulled Edward's face closer to hers.

"I want you," she whispered, just as her lips reached his.

The first kiss was filled with doubt and uncertainty, then shock and longing, and finally fear and relief. It was slow and gentle as her body shook. His hands were strong and rough as he embraced the frame of her face, sliding his fingers through tendrils of chestnut hair.

The second kiss overflowed with passion and promises, tongues and teeth, a rawness that only the pressure of their lips could distinguish.

"Bella," he spoke quietly as he pulled her closer, begging her to look at him.

"If you're going to break my heart...break it tomorrow," she whispered, causing him to still.

His thumbs skated the surface of her cheeks until she opened her eyes. Their breathing was erratic, laboring to take in precious air. Indecision broke away as Edward rolled her with awkward movements as he lay back on the bed and she straddled above looking down.

She submit to the gentle wanderings of his hands as he lifted his shirt from her body exposing her breast and arms, soft brown hair her only cover. Her body buzzed with an electrical pulse as his hardened hands caressed the softness of her skin. His touch did things too, created emotions that she had never experienced with Tyler. His touch encouraged and strengthened her as she pressed her fingers against his toned abdomen exploring below the surface of his shirt until he struggled to rid his of the fabric that separated their heated skin.

Overwhelming need consumed them like a fire burning out of control until they lay, spent in a pile of ashes with no barriers between them. Sweat, sweetness, and spice scented the air around them.

In the early morning hours with Bella wrapped securely in his arms, with trembling lips he whispered I love you's into her skin as if the truth would heal them, resurrecting what he thought was dead leaving him whole.

It had been so long since he had said those words to anyone.

Good Morning

Light was starting to streak through the window giving the room a warm glow. A glow that reflected the emotions of the couple spooned together in the bed. Edward's hand still roamed the softness of Bella's sleeping form. He had been unable to stop once he had started. The exhaustion he would feel for the last leg of their journey would be worth the sleepless night as long as it wasn't a dream.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Edward murmured as Bella stirred, started to wake.

"Coffee, lots and lots of coffee, please," Bella mumbled, causing Edward to chuckle.

Before Edward could drag himself from the bed and Bella, his cell phone buzzed from somewhere on the floor.

"Don't answer that," Bella ordered. She wasn't ready to let go of him and the intimate bubble they were in.

Edward did as he was told, and more as Bella whimpered and moaned while he left a trail of kisses across her shoulder and down her arm. He would have continued forever if the buzzing from the floor would stop.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm sure it's Alice. And she won't quit until I answer," Edward apologized.

"Tell Alice, she has shitty timing," she cursed.

"What?" Edward asked, as he placed the phone next to his ear. Bella could only imagine the conversation as she listened to Edward.

"Only because my phone wouldn't stop ringing."

"A fax?"

"It's possible...if we leave," Edward said, checking his watch. "Right now." Bella didn't know what was said, but she could hear her friends excited squeals from where she lay.

"Alice," Edward warned. But it was too late, Alice had already hung up.

"We have to leave, don't we?" Bella asked when Edward heaved a frustrated sigh.

Edward moved around her as he lay back down and pulled her body to his. He could tell she wasn't ready to move from the tone of her voice. He didn't want to go either, but he knew he had to have her back. Her two years were almost up.

"I'm afraid so," he whispered in her ear. "Plus, we need to talk-"

"I don't want to. We can talk here."

"No, we can't because you're too much of a distraction. I'll go get us something to drink, while you get ready," Edward said just before he smacked her on the ass causing her to growl. Edward crawled out from under the covers and dressed quickly. If he didn't get away from her he'd let her down, and that thought didn't settle well with him.

Last Leg

A half an hour later, Edward was leading Bella out of the hotel room and to the truck. She had showered and dressed while he had fetched them coffee. Still not ready for face the last leg of their journey, Bella tried once more to convince Edward they could still make it if they waited another hour.

"Bella, please don't make me throw you over my shoulder again," he said teasingly.

"You wouldn't," she declared as she back away from him headed for the truck. Edward waged his brows and a mischievous glint filled his eyes as he playfully stalked her.

"Okay, okay, I'll behave," she squealed, running to the passenger side of the truck waiting for Edward to open it. But Edward didn't open. Instead, he trapped her between himself and the truck and stared down at her with hooded eyes. Today he was filled with hope, not dread.

"I thought you said we had to leave," she said in a husky voice. The things she had felt under his touch where things she had never felt before last night; things she still felt.

"We do...but we won't get far if we don't do something about how distracting that shirt is."

He felt her body shiver in response to his touch as he fumbled trying to button the top button. Edward quickly stepped back and opened the door as Bella slid across and nestled herself into her seat. Edward closed the door and shook the lust filled haze from his thoughts. Now was not the time.

Edward stopped and gassed up the truck before hitting the freeway that would take them home. They'd be home in less than twelve hours, but those hours would be long. After closing his own door, Edward handed Bella a bottle of water.

"What?" he asked, noticing her eyes filled with emotion staring back at him.

"You...you fixed the door; and the radio," she stuttered out.

"I didn't want you feeling like a caged animal. I'm sorry, Bella. I never should have done that or listened to your friend Rosalie, for that matter," Edward started. The air thickened to a heavy weight on Edward's shoulders as he put the truck into gear and headed for the interstate.

"Why would Rosalie think, or even suggest, doing that to your truck," Bella asked, staring again at the now fixed door once they were on the highway.

"To keep you from running away, at least, until you calmed down and weren't so angry. It was stupid. I didn't know what else to do," Edward admitted. He almost caused a wreck swerving when Bella started laughing almost hysterically.

"What's so funny?" he asked, brows drawn.

"Awe, Rosie, you know me too well," Bella spoke out between bursts of laughter.

"Does she now?" Edward asked once Bella had settled down.

"I was going to run for help the night you helped those bikers. But that James guy trapped me in the bathroom before I could."

Edward chuckled to himself, and it was Bella's turn to ask what.

"If everything goes the way it should, at some point Bella's going to try and run, and you need to be ready when she does"

"And then what?"

"Then you're going to catch her and kiss her. If you're lucky and she loves you, she's going to kiss you back."

"Oh lord, you sound like some Hollywood chick-flick. That's never going to work."

"Women love chick-flicks for a reason, Cowboy. I'm telling you!"

Questions and Answers

The radio played low, a soft background while Bella thought about Edward's explanation while she watched the landscape passed by as she looked out the window in silent contemplation. Would she really have crumbled at such a jester?. Of course she would. She was a sucker like that, she always had been. A soft smile crossed her lips.

"Bella, can I ask a question?" Edward didn't know what was going through that mind of hers. At her hummed answer, he drew in a deep breath. "Why did you leave? You never did give me an answer."

"That's kind of hard to answer. Basically...I thought you hated me and you were trying to set me up to fail, and I needed you...someone to believe in me."

"I'm sorry. I was just protecting myself. I never meant to make you feel less than." Edward went on to explain about LeAnn and how hurt he had been. How he had tried to drink himself into oblivion, grief stricken over the child he would never know.

"So when you came back, you really didn't know Uncle Phil passed away?"

"No, I didn't. Emmett told me after you left. That must have made me look like a real monster."

"God, I was so mad at you. I had so many people waiting for me to fail, and I was so insecure about what I was trying to do, then you walked in there, running your mouth..."

"You were pretty sexy all riled up like you were." Edward said chuckling. He thought back about all the times he'd goaded her into losing her temper. He laughed harder as Bella stared at him slack-jawed.

"Yes, I loved getting you all riled up," Edward said blushing

This was how their conversation went until Bella yawned and her eyes drooped. Edward crumpled up his jacket and set it next to him motioning for Bella to lay and sleep. Turning up the radio, Edward concentrated on the road ahead of them. He wanted to live in the now, not the past.

Laughing Like a Little Kid

"Bella...Bella, it's time to wake up and get something to eat," Edward said, as he pulled into a truck stop and parked a few hours later. He would have continued to drive and listen to music as he played with her hair, but he knew they needed to eat. A satisfied grin was welded in place as he listened to the girl groan and her eyes blinked as she stirred.

He caused Bella to laugh when he reached for her hand as they crossed the parking lot heading towards the restaurant. It was a sound he wanted to hear more off so he pulled her behind him and offered her a piggy back ride.

"Edward-" she started and laughed as he squatted.

"I'm all in if you are, Chicken," he challenged, cutting her off before she jumped on his back accepting his challenge. Edward didn't let her walk on her own until the hostess inside the restaurant smiled.

"Two I take it?" the woman asked even as she retrieved the desired amount of menu's and led them to a both overlooking the parking lot.

Edward waited for Bella to slide into the booth and then forced her to move over further as he slid in next to her. He pulled down the front of his Stetson eyeing her reaction when she giggled, rolling her head back and forth at his antics.

"You know-" and "So.." they both started at the same causing Edward to join Bella's laughter.

"You know...without kissing someone, laughing and giggling like that could really hurt a man's ego," Edward said leaving no time for awkward silence.

"If it's a kiss you want," she replied. "Then it's a kiss you shall receive," she finished as she moved his hat and met him half way.

After a not so quick kiss Bella pulled away flushed, confused why she felt more like a teenage girl on a first date than a full grown woman.

Their meal was filled with flushed glances, teasing grins, and light touches, but nothing too outrageous to make others feel uncomfortable, until it was time to pay the bill and leave.

"So," Bella started, once they had reached the highway. "What does the last forty-eight hours mean?"

"It means I'm yours, all yours, if you want me. Girlfriend really doesn't sound right because we're not teenagers anymore, even if that's how I feel at the moment. I hope we are, and will be, more than that," Edward answered honestly.

"You want to be my boyfriend, Cowboy?" Bella asked. She looked at Edward like he had grown a second head as he threw his head back and laughed like a little kid.

"Yes!"

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