Part 10
I couldn't sleep, I hadn't expected to, not when everything around me was silent, and I had nothing to occupy my mind when I closed my eyes but visions of things I didn't want to see. I was sitting upright in my bed, trying to force my mind into a narrow tunnel, hands wrapped over my belly, listening to my heartbeat. The soft knock on my door made me jump. It opened only a moment after that.
"May I come in?"
I nodded.
"Not sleeping?"
"You either I see."
Jeremy sat down beside me on the bed.
"You know I don't want to do this right? I don't want to use you as bait to catch Santos."
"I know." My voice didn't have a lot of strength just then, perhaps because I was exhausted.
"If you don't want to do this you just have to tell me Elena. I will find another way. In the end Santos and Olsen will be dead, I promise you that."
"There isn't another way Jeremy, we need a believable excuse, I know that. Antonio is right, as much as it scares me. If something were to happen to you for killing him, if the council were to designate a new Alpha our Pack would be subject to him, and if we weren't we would spend of lives running. We can't raise a child that way. I would rather die with you, then live without you."
He reached out a hand and stroked my cheek carefully.
"You will not die. Neither will your child."
I covered his hand with my own and drew it down towards my belly.
"Our child Jeremy."
His smile was so brilliant.
I let myself rest backwards on the bed, uncurling my legs, keeping his hand under mine.
"Will you stay with me tonight, please?"
He answered me by leaning down and kissing me very softly. I held him there, letting my hands comb through his hair, cupping the back of his head, exerting just the barest pressure against his mouth, not even a breath between us.
His hands bunched up the tee shirt I was wearing, pulling it over the tops of my legs, his fingers trailing over my skin raising gooseflesh and causing me to shudder. I took a deep breath as he drew those fingers upwards, the soft cotton slipping from my body, pulled away to leave me completely exposed to him. He pressed kisses down my throat, down the middle of my breastbone and finally over my belly. His breaths were warm on my skin and I let myself bask in his attentions, closing my eyes, arching my body into those soft hands; an artist's hands, as they explored. When his mouth found mine again I felt the power in his bare chest pressed to me. I wrapped my arms around him and held that kiss as we moved our bodies together.
Our lovemaking was slow, paced and drawn out till we were both exhausted. It was a pleasure to drift off in his arms, and morning came far too early.
Clay didn't join us for breakfast. No one mentioned his absence.
There was only one store in town that sold children's things; the big malls and box stores were certainly within driving distance but we needed to be seen, either by Santos, or Marsten, or one of the Mutts. We parked the vehicle on the main street. Jeremy came around the side and opened my door for me. He took my hand with a smile, and made a bit of a show of kissing me quickly right there on the sidewalk. Jeremy was not a demonstrative man normally, I had grown to be more like him during the time I had spent in Stonehaven. I didn't want to muse on the girl I had been; I had far too much to lose now, there was no time for being carefree and silly. I had a part to play, to keep my family safe.
The shop door had a bell just like the café. We were assaulted by the fairytale visions of pink and blue in gauze, satin, polish and smiling animals. If I found it overwhelming Jeremy certainly had to be in hell, but he kept smiling, especially when the sales lady came over to greet us.
"Hello. Good morning."
"Good morning." Jeremy replied.
"Was there anything I could help you with today?"
"Well, we've just found out we're expecting and I guess we're going to need a few things."
"Well how wonderful, congratulations!" She took a closer look at both of us with that pronouncement, perhaps trying to decide how much money we had to spend, perhaps assessing us for the lack of wedding rings, or perhaps judging the age difference. Whatever the motive, she kept her 'customer service' smile pasted on. Admittedly, it did not look terribly false.
"Do you know what you're having?" She asked.
"No, we're looking forward to a surprise."
"What a lovely change. So many young couples today go absolutely overboard with the gender reveal parties and cryptic social media postings. I say that there are few things left in the world that can really be surprises, this is certainly one."
"Oh yes, it certainly was a surprise." Jeremy agreed.
"Well we do carry a large stock of neutral colors like yellow and greens and purples. If you like, have a look around, if you have any questions just let me know. And just so you know, we can order in things if you've seen something in a catalogue that you like."
"Thank you." I offered, still a little shell shocked that we were even doing this. It was hard to be excited since I knew that the shopping had more to do with trapping Santos than actually preparing for the baby. I started to wander to the back of the shop, past rows of cribs that all sort of looked the same to me just then. A splash of white caught my eye. Jeremy followed me.
It was a cradle, or maybe they called them bassinettes now? (Likely in order to be able to add a zero to the price tag). It was beautiful. I ran my fingers over the fine wood and eyelet lace bedding. It put me in the mind of the bedroom Jeremy had created for me, and I knew it was what I wanted. The ever-present sales lady had never gone particularly far and she pounced.
"That's a beautiful choice my dear. Made by a local craftsman, but all up to government standards."
"It's perfect." I whispered to Jeremy.
"Then that's the one we'll buy."
And so I waited nervously by the car while Jeremy placed the cradle in the back; taking more time than it probably should have, the sales lady handing me two large bags full of bedding, exacting a promise for me to return with the baby when I was able. I felt better when I was settled back in the passenger seat, the doors all closed, and only then did I let my shoulders sag. I so wanted to be excited about the beautiful furniture. Jeremy seemed to sense that in me. He reached out for my hand.
"Do you want to set it up when we get home?" He asked softly.
"Not yet, no, after."
"I understand."
The rest of the trip was silent.
I gave silent thanks that Clay wasn't around when we got home. I didn't want him to have to see the cradle. Jeremy stored it away in an unused bedroom, and I began to wonder just how things would be set up once the baby came. Would there be a nursery, would he stay with me, would I be expected to move into Jeremy's suite? All questions I should have been able to speak to Jeremy about, except for the fixation on the task ahead of us, which overrode all other 'normal' concerns. I hated the way we weren't communicating just then but I didn't know what to do about it so I went to my room to pack a bag for the trip, tossing my books on top of my clothes, which weren't folded too neatly anyways. I thought for a moment about talking to Logan, getting some advice, after all, mental health was his business. But it all just seemed so complicated, and just a bit petty if I was to be honest. I dropped my bag at the front door and went to the study.
"Nick is patrolling the edge of the property." Antonio was speaking to Jeremy. "As soon as he sees or smells any trace of another wolf we'll know that Santos has set up his surveillance. Then you two can lead them away."
"Where are we going?" I asked, as enthusiastically as I could.
"I've rented you a cabin, far enough away from any town or campground that if things get loud you won't have neighbors coming to check in with you."
I nodded.
"Try not to destroy the place, I want my damage deposit back." His curled up grin did little to ease my trepidation. "I've packed the SUV with everything you'll be needing." I knew that statement likely meant more to Jeremy than it did to me.
"Clay will follow you by a few hours, and patrol the woods around the cabin."
"Okay. Now we just wait?"
"If nothing has happened by dinner time we'll leave anyways and trust that if we drive through town, get some snacks for the road, that we'll be spotted. I'm sure it's all over town by now that the recluse up at Stonehaven has found himself a young woman. Whatever else they infer from it can only be used to our advantage."
"I don't like that they'll infer anything Jeremy."
"Small minds Elena. I've tried to never let them bother me. They shouldn't bother you either." He reached over, a sad smile on his face, and touched my cheek gently.
Nick came in the kitchen door, tugging a tee shirt over his head.
"He sent a Mutt." The lack of enthusiasm was palpable in his voice. I don't want to overuse the phrase, but my blood ran cold. It was time to go.
I took a stiff hug from Nick, a warmer one from Antonio, and Jeremy and I got in the SUV. I didn't see Clay, but I knew Antonio was texting him as we left, so he would know to follow, from wherever he was. I hadn't even asked how long the drive was going to be, or even exactly where we were going. It didn't matter. I curled myself into the passenger seat, closed my eyes once we were out of Bear Valley, and tried to sleep as Jeremy drove. I found that once we were finally on our way, once things were truly in motion, that it became easier to drift off and I only woke when Jeremy turned off the highway onto a graveled road, necessitating a decrease in speed and a bumpier ride, despite the shocks on the SUV. The sun was well set, I checked the clock in the middle of the console, 3 am and change it read. Pulling up the steps of the cabin only took a few more minutes. Stepping out of the SUV and it's recycled, conditioned air my nose was assaulted by the woods around us. The heady scent of damp moss and underbrush, a crisp, nearby river, shingles on the roof that still exuded the tar smell of the sunlight that had beaten down on them for hours. Beyond that there was game. A bear, a few feral wolves, and some nocturnal creatures, a raccoon or two (it was hard to tell), and the lingering scent of slaughter, what you might normally expect around a hunting cabin.
It was hunting cabin, if I hadn't sorted it out by the atmosphere, when Jeremy pulled a long duffle out of the back and headed for the porch, I would have figured it out then. The bag contained two pistols, a shotgun and a rifle. The rattling around betrayed the copious shells.
"Do you remember how to use these?" Jeremy asked me as he laid them out on the pine table and inspected them for damage after their journey.
"Yes." Jeremy and Antonio had shown me how to care for, load and shoot all those weapons. I hadn't considered that Jeremy was going to bring them along.
Satisfied with their condition he moved them to the single bedroom. There was a proper gun locker in there, but we weren't using it. The pistols went under the pillows, the long guns, under the brass bed, my little bag on the blanket box at its foot.
"I'll watch till dawn." Jeremy told me.
"But I've slept all the way here." I tried to protest, but he would hear none of it.
"It's only another few hours. By then Clay will be here and I'll rest for a bit."
He pulled off his shirt and cast it over the bed. His belt was tossed off likewise. By that I knew he was preparing to have to change if the first scent he caught wasn't Clay's.
I prayed it would be.