No one was exaggerating when they said that the Flyers fans hate the Penguins. There is no doubt that the venom the fans are spewing has certain specific-ness about it aimed at the Pens and Sid in particular. There was a lot of taunting and booing every time he touched the puck. The pushing and shoving during and between play was intense. Before the game, I shadowed Michelle and Sam to see their routines and activities. They sit way up on the press level during the game and set themselves up long before the game begins to Tweet. Jen is there talking to the press and either fielding questions or answering requests. Everyone wants a one-on-one with Sid or Marc-Andre after the game. Apparently, Marc-Andre has been blamed a lot for last year's play-off loss and interviews with Sid are always in demand. Jen does a good job of saying no with a smile. The locker room is pretty much banned by anyone not essential to the game preparations right now. Players have their routines that must have strict adherence. My guys stay away completely and I made sure that I was out of the way but I needed to see this process. Everything that I can do to help me understand the game, the team and the environment will allow us to support the players.
The game itself was just rough. I've never been at ice level for a game and you can hear everything. The language and taunting by players and fans didn't faze me. I've heard worse on movie sets; but, it's the sound of the players hitting each other that was impactful. They bounce off of each other and the boards like they're ping pong balls. It's just brutal. In between periods is fascinating. First, the coaches rush to watch video. Apparently Tony Granato is in constant contact with Andy Saucier, the video coordinator, during the period. Both of them are looking for the small, and sometimes big, mistakes that the players make on both sides to see how the Pens can fix theirs and capitalize on the others. The players go to the locker room and have their rituals there too. The equipment staff is busy making small adjustments and wiping skate blades. Roots Sports is covering the game and they're interviewing Sid at the first intermission. I follow Jen to watch this part of her job; or so I tell myself.
Directly as the players are coming off the ice, she grabs Sid and steers him toward the interview site. An equipment staff member takes Sid's gloves and helmet. He leans his stick up against the wall and I remember what he told me before the black and gold game; no one touches his sticks once their taped. Jen hands Sid a towel to rub at some of the sweat on his head and face. I don't know why I'm surprised that he's absolutely soaked like all the players. He puts on his baseball cap and then is ready for the interview. It doesn't go live. TV has gone to commercial but we don't want the players to be inconvenienced by the interview so it's recorded as soon as they're off the ice and shown a few minutes later. Dan Potash asks Sid a couple of questions which are easy to answer because the Pens are up 2-0. Ninety seconds later, the interview is done and Sid grabs his stick and heads off to the locker room. He doesn't seem to even notice I'm there and I feel slightly, hell I don't know how I'm feeling but it's definitely weird. I chat with Jen for a few seconds and then she goes to talk to the Roots guys to coordinate the next intermission interview. I over hear that if Paul Martin keeps playing the way he did in the first than they'd like to interview him. Apparently he was another one, like Marc-Andre, who got the brunt of the blame for the playoff loss last season.
I wander back to the locker room and pass Dan, Tony and Todd reviewing video and deciding what to talk to the guys about. The equipment staff is rushing about, every one of the clearly on a mission and the players are in various states of dress and undress with every one of them chugging something down. Most are drinking Gatorade and some water. A few have their own concoction in a bottle. I can't help but watch Sid. He's one of the few guys who stay in complete uniform except that he's missing one skate. Dan passes me and the room goes silent; any guy who was standing or not in the room quickly finds their place to listen. Tony and Todd stop beside me. Before Dan begins, I whisper to Todd "should I go?" and he shakes his head. I don't understand half of what Dan is saying. There are "F3"s and "F2"s and a few other terms that pass right by me. Overall, he's pleased with their play and only has a few adjustments to make. Most of the conversation is focused on defensive play and taking advantage of Flyer mistakes. Toward the end of Dan's talk, guys start putting equipment and jersey's back on. I move off to the side and use my phone to scroll through the twitter feed of Sam and Michelle. During the game they give a play by play of key moments and during intermission they are making some astute and witty comments about the players and the game. They've been retweeting some fan comments too although there's one that I don't think I would have retweeted and I'll need to chat with them about later.
The rest of the game goes by quickly until the horn sounds and that's when my team goes into over drive. Michelle and Sam have to rush down from the media level to the locker room so that they can capture video of player interviews for our website. Jen is already corralling the media and, without my prompting, she is telling the reporters about our new interview policy. She has Philly reporters there who wouldn't know. Good for her and I make a mental note to give her that feedback later. Michelle and Sam get down just in time for the doors to open. Right before they do, Jen asks me "Sloan, would you please manage Sid's scrum?" I nod to her. I like that she is asserting herself more, even with me. She's taking it seriously now that this is her room while the media are in there and she's running the show. I don't like that I'm always being assigned Sid. If I were her then I would do the same damn thing but it doesn't mean that I have to like it. I've managed to avoid Sid since yesterday morning. It wasn't too hard since the players seem to go their own way on the road and the staff their own way. I haven't figured out if I should leave it as a one night thing or maybe we can carry it over the season. Of course I'd have to make sure that he doesn't become attached.
When it's time, I ask the reporters interviewing Sid to follow me. As we all walk toward him, my eyes lock with his immediately. He has his 'interview face' on and I can't read a damn thing in his eyes but they continue to bore holes into mine. I break contact first having to move to the side to let the cameras set up first. A reporter throws a question to Sid who simply looks to me. It seems that he's catching on to the new rules too. "Please wait until the cameras are set up before asking any questions" I tell everyone. Once I see everyone is ready then I say "first question" and let Sid manage it from there. The interviews themselves are informal in that every player decides who they'll take a question from and how they'll answer it. From previous video I've watched, these questions seem typical of what you'd expect in Philly. Of course a few of them refer back to the play offs and Sid handles them perfectly. He's really quite good at this and I suspect part of it is natural and part of it is the superb media training that he received from his agent's team. Pat is known for his media boot camps for new players.
I keep close look at my watch and call "two more questions" when we near the end of the interview time. After the last two, a Philly reporter calls out another one and Sid looks at me. He's definitely caught on. "That's it, thank you all. We need to get to our plane." Everyone knows what I'm saying is absurd because it's a charter flight and it lifts off when we're ready but it's the gentlest way to get them to move along and they all go with it. I smile down at Sid and turn to find Jen. Sid grabs my wrist before I can walk away so I turn to him carefully putting my own 'company smile' on. He just chuckles and shakes his head. "What did you think of the game?" he asks me. I say the first thing that comes to my mind "it's a lot louder when you're at ice level." James Neal, who has the place next to Sid, laughs along with Sid. "It definitely is" Sid replies and I walk away this time. Damn, I should have probably said how well they both played and I would have if I hadn't been so damn preoccupied with Sid's wet hair curling over his forehead and his muscles clearly seen through the shirt he wears under his gear. I need to remember that they're clients even if I have seen one of them naked. As I pass Marc-Andre, I pause and say "vous avez joué très bien." He looks up at me surprised and replies "merci et votre français est très bon." I just smile back at him. I don't often use French but I thought he might appreciate it especially after a stressful, must-win game for him.
Jen is finishing up with the last reporter and when she's finished I call her over. "Jen, really, really well done. You had command of the room and you remembered to tell the new reporters about our policy. Most importantly, you saw that you needed help and you told me where you needed me. It's your room and you're using it the way you should. After New York, I'd like to hear your recommendations to further improve the way we handle the media. We've pulled the leash because we had to but now we need to give a little. They need more time with our guys than they're getting. Let's come up with a solution before they tell us that there's a problem. I want to be as proactive as possible with this relationship. Ok?" She's wide-eyed at me but nods. It really makes me pissed about the leadership, or lack of leadership, these guys had before I got here. Speaking of which, I go in search of Tom and find him talking to one of his cameramen.
When he's finished, I approach Tom with a smile on his face. Of course after seeing me, he frowns and rolls his eyes. Is he a fucking two year old? Seriously! "Hi Tom, did you get some good footage of the first game? Great win over Philly huh?" He answers me with a simple "yes." Ok, I could scream right now but I keep the smile. "That's great. I'd like to see a rough cut of the first episode. When will you be ready to show me?" He snaps back "when it's done then you'll see it." I notice out of the corner of my eye that a couple of players have heard Tom raise his voice. I lean in so that no one can hear me. With a clear smile on my face, I whisper "stop talking right this second and follow me now!" I've had enough of his shit and now that he's done it in public I can't let give him any more space to come around. I find an office and wait for Tom to follow me in before I shut the door. I turn to Tom and his face is red and he opens his mouth to speak. I beat him to it. "You really don't want to talk right now Tom. I have allowed you to be disrespectful and downright belligerent because I'm sensitive to the situation. This is the last time you will ever be disrespectful to me. I've had enough." I pause for a moment because I can feel myself getting very angry and I want to speak while in control. Tom takes this opportunity to jump right in himself. "What about the complete and utter disrespect you show me every day. I'm the fucking VP of Communications!" He takes a step toward me so that he's right in front of my face. At this point I'm up against the wall and have nowhere to go. I'm in heels but he still towers over me. He's leaning in so that I can feel the heat of his body radiating at my own. I feel the first bead of sweat roll down my back and my heart beat getting faster. No, this can't be happening now! "I don't care if they gave you a fancy title because of your daddy but this is my team and you are not going to change that no matter what you think." Tom's face is now white with anger and I have his spittle on my face he's so close. I can feel the shaking about to start. I need to end this conversation. The walls are starting to close in on me and, damn it, I have started shaking. "Tom, this is unproductive and disrespectful. When we are back in Pittsburgh, you and I are going to talk about this calmly and discuss how we are going to work together. Now, you want to leave this room right away before you go too much farther over the line." I continue to stare at him. I can feel my nails digging into my palms now and I purse my lips to keep them from quivering. Tom looks like he's considering what he's going to do and then he turns and leaves the room slamming the door behind him.
I finally let go and a sob leaves my mouth. I slide down the wall until I'm hugging my knees and willing the shaking to stop. Resting my forehead on my knees I try to take deep breaths but I know that I'm beginning to hyperventilate. I try all the techniques I've been taught but I can't stop it now that it's started. My whole body shakes and I can't catch my breath. I feel like I'm dying. When the flashbacks start, I cry out loud, I can't stop it. "Sloan, baby?" I barely hear my name and don't register that someone is in the room. When I feel the hand on my arm I look up terrified and scramble away.
A few of us heard Tom raise his voice to Sloan and then watched the two of them walk off. Sloan had a smile on her face so everyone went back to packing up their gear. It was clear to me that her smile didn't reach her eyes. That was the business smile that she uses to hide how she really feels. Tom is in a world of trouble if he underestimates her. I grab a quick shower and dress. With the new media rules, I actually have some time before getting to the bus. Usually I'm running onto it just as it's supposed to leave. Walking down the hall to see if I can find some water, I see Tom storm out of an office and catch a glimpse of Sloan before the door slams. Looking at my watch, I realize that we have twenty minutes before the bus is going to leave. Hmmm, what kind of trouble can Sloan and I get into in twenty minutes? There's no one around so I slip into the room rather than knocking. I don't want anyone to see me.
When I get inside and see Sloan, I freeze. She's on the floor hugging her knees to her body. She is shaking all over and I can tell that she's hyperventilating and sobbing at the same time. I stoop down beside her and say "Sloan, baby?" It's like she doesn't hear me so I touch her arm. Her head whips up and her eyes are wild as them meet mine. She pushes away from me saying "no, please no!" I don't know what to do. What did Tom do to her? What should I do to help her? I'm careful not to touch her again and I stay low in front of her. "Sloan, it's me, Sidney. Come on baby, it's Sidney." I see the moment that she finally realizes that it's me. She looks around the room like it's the first time that she's seen it. Comprehension comes to her slowly about where we are and then she tries to stand but can't. I get up and offer her my hand to help her up careful not to touch her but wait to see if she places her hand in mine. Her wet eyes look up at me and then to my hand like she's unsure what to do. Finally, she places her hand in mine and I help her stand. She doesn't let go of my hand so I take that as a good sign. Her breath catches every time she takes one like it does when you've hyperventilated. I decide to press my luck and I pull her into my arms. She resists me but not in a way like she's scared so I continue to pull her in until she is flush against me and encircle my arms around her.
I run my hand up and down her back trying to sooth. I keep my hold light and try my best to comfort although I don't know what I'm comforting her for. What did Tom do to her and how many times can I kill him for it? Getting his ass fired could never be enough. When her breath evens out and she has completely stopped shaking, she pushes away from me until she's out of my arms. I feel disappointed although I couldn't say why. She won't look at me so I tilt her chin up with one finger. Her eyes are red but they no longer hold tears. I don't want to upset her again but I have to ask. "What did Tom do to you?" I ask softly. She shakes her head and says "it wasn't him, no really Sidney, he didn't do anything" she continues when she sees me about to protest. "I mean he was an ass and he'll be lucky if I don't fire him but he didn't do anything really." I can see that it's the truth so I have to ask "so what happened?" She turns away from me and grabs her purse from the floor. I watch her take out a compact and fix her make-up. When she's done, she turns back to me and most people wouldn't know she'd been a mess not five minutes before. "Sid, I appreciate what you did for me" and she gestures to where we were just in each other's arms. "But I didn't ask you to come in here and I really don't want to talk about it. I am very appreciative of your help but I'm fine, really. Let's just forget it happened, ok?" She gives me her 'company' smile then moves by me and is out the door.
I'm still too stunned to move. Something happened and she won't tell me. This was not a girl who was upset about a situation or something someone said to her. Sloan was genuinely terrified when she looked up at me. I can't even describe it to myself and I was here. It was like she was in her own nightmare and unaware of anything or anyone until I touched her arm. That's when she went wild and scared. Fuck, it was much more than scared; she was petrified, terrified. I've never seen anyone that scared in my entire life. "Sid?" I hear my name and shake out of the fog that I've been enveloped in. "Yeah, in here." It's Dana and he pokes his head in the room to say "you coming?" I smile and tell him I'll be right along. Taking one last look around, I leave the room and follow Dana down the hall. Looking at my watch I see that I'm just on time. At least it's the first game of the season so no one thinks it's strange. I see that Sloan is on the bus and talking with Sam like nothing happened just ten minutes ago. I don't understand this woman. My heart aches for whatever happened to her that caused whatever happened in that room. I also wonder what I'm going to do now that I've slipped a little more in love with her.