Thank you for the reviews so far. This story may be a little slow but I'm getting on with it and I'll have more time in June to update. This chapter is set in the present, when Yuki is in the hospital after visiting Zero while he was sleeping. The POVs are Zero-Yuki-Zero. Thanks for all your support. Enjoy =)

I wiped the traces of blood away from my lips and read the empty packet of blood. Thank you, whoever you are for being a kind Samaritan who donates blood. Too bad I'm no accident victim. I'm just a lowly vampire. Sorry about that. But think of it as you've indirectly saved other lives, because once I lose control, I would feed on other humans, maybe even you.

I walked out of the room, my eyes still fuzzy, and my mind unsure of where to go next. But Seiren solved it for me, not that I appreciated it. "What?" "Kaname wants..." I cut her off, "I won't go anywhere near her, don't worry." I walked away. Seiren followed me, refusing to let it slide. I glared at her. "I have zero intention of talking to any Kuran, be it Kaname or Yuki. Now scuttle back to your master and tell him that." Seiren stared at me, her face blank as usual. "Go away." She caught up with me. "He wants your word." I turned to her, looking at her square in the eye. "Listen to my words and repeat them to him, each and every one of them. I do not want any association with the Kuran family. None at all. They are nothing to me. Let me repeat, nothing at all. So rest assured that I will disappear from her sight for the next few days. I will not cross paths with her at all. I will go to the furthest ends of the world to avoid her. Go and tell him that."

His words pierced through me. He had his quiet elegance, his words spoken surely. I knew he loved me. But I also knew he was hurting too much to allow me to invade his life again. And now I know that he didn't want anything to do with me, it hurt, but I understood why. I may not be nothing to him, but it would have been better for everyone if I truly were nothing. I would rather be nothing to him than to be the one who had betrayed him. I had broken him down to the very core. I had destroyed him completely.

Remember when I first met you? You were so cold, completely shut off from the world, refusing to re-enter, forbidding anyone from coming near. You had enclosed your heart, your soul in a containment that could rival that of a maximum security prison. You were desensitised, unable to feel. That was how you felt safe, safe from the pain life has inflicted on you.

Then I came along and tore down your walls. You said it yourself. You said that thanks to me, you could now feel something. Then you had smiled that beautifully rare smile meant only for me, thanked me, kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to you. Your ice had melted; the walls you had built had crumbled apart. And you were happy, for the first time in your miserable life. You told me that I was the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Then I had left you. When the solid block of ice enclosing you had melted, when the walls sheltering you from the pain had fallen apart, I had thrown you into the flames of hell. I had left you to die. You saw me for what I was; I was someone to bait you out to the open ground and once you reached, disappear, and leave you to be pelted by bombs, arrows and bullets. I had betrayed you. And that fact kills me slowly inside. I had left the man I loved out in the cold, out in the hail of fire. I had left him to die. He has every right to hate me.

Last night, when I had held you close to me, I could almost feel your pain. When you clung so desperately to my arms, I could almost feel your need, your yearning. Did you feel mine too? Did you sleep well after I left you last night?

"Let's go Aidou, where is this place you wanted to take me?" Aidou and I had been about to turn the corner when we heard Zero and Seiren's interaction. "Let's use the other exit." Aidou led me the other way, his eyes unable to meet mine. I knew what he was thinking. "I'm fine," I reassured him. I'm not. But I'll try to be. Because I am the Kuran princess.

"No."
"What do you mean no?"
"Exactly that. No."
"I'm going to Cheongug. The branch there is awful."
"They're working on it."
"They just recruited new trainees. I'll go supervise."
Chairman raised an eyebrow. "That kind of job is not for you."
"I should broaden my horizons."
"That's true. I'll notify the branch to send them here."
"Isn't it easier for one person to travel rather than a group?"
"Yes, but what about Yuki?.."
I smirked, "What about her?" That's right, she's nothing to me; didn't you get the memo?
Chairman phrased his next few words carefully. "You know.. She's a Pureblood and her status makes her a target for other vampires and all that…" He peered at me behind his glasses.
"She has Aidou and I'm sure Kaname's not stupid. If this the only flimsy reason you're not letting me go to Haneul?"
"But.."
"I'm going then." And I got up and left quickly before he could protest any further.

Some little part of me was protesting too. I didn't want to go. I wanted to be able to have just the slightest chance of seeing her. I didn't dream of being able to have conversations like we used to, I don't dare hope of staring her in the eye. A fleeting glance now and then would suffice. At least, when she's in the hospital, my chances of that were about 0.124375892490838. They've been about zero for the past year. But I knew myself. I knew, even if words were unspoken, even if her brown eyes do not meet mine, even if I saw her from afar, I would still feel this painful twinge in my chest.

Which begs a question, how could a nothing like me ever feel something? It was all thanks to her. Yeah, thanks for nothing.

So the next time there's a blood donation drive and you're fit to donate, just do it! And just an irrelevant tidbit, Haneul is Korean for heaven.

Love, Angealis

*corrected! One of the readers kindly informed me that I was misinformed by Google Translate. I have changed it from Haneul to Cheongug.