a/n: It's been forever, and I'm a terrible human.
Also, if you want to listen to Oh Ms Believer by Twenty One Pilots while you read this, it's kind of my soundtrack for them right now.
Bellamy
I couldn't seem to drag my eyes away from Clarke's sleeping face. It didn't matter that I'd been memorizing the curves and dips of her, the way her lips pouted when she slept, for a good three hours.
On the car ride home she'd barely spared me a glance. The anger had radiated off of her small body, almost choking me. But I'd told myself I could take it. The only thing worse than a furious Clarke, was a dead Clarke.
Then we'd pulled up to the apartment building where the Griffin's lived, and I had known. Known something was wrong. I'd always had a sixth sense for danger, and it had come in handy more times than I could count, but this time all it brought me was pain.
Clarke's pain. Which, somehow, had become my pain too.
Clarke shifted in her sleep, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Bellamy?" Her voice was soft and scratchy from sleep. And the tears she'd shed. Those tears had ripped at my heart, especially since they'd kept falling long after she'd drifted to sleep.
"Clarke," was my careful response. I didn't want her to remember, wanted her to live in peaceful, oblivion for just a little while longer.
She sighed, and nuzzled her head further into my arm. "Don't say my name like I might break. I won't break."
So she did remember. "I would never doubt you, Princess."
A small smile flitted across her face. "That's better."
Clarke sat up, biting her lip. "How long did you let me sleep?"
I sat up beside her. "You needed to sleep, Clarke. You were exhausted."
She glared at me. "How long, Bellamy?"
"Just a few hours," I said, as she started to get up. "But Clarke, you needed it. You still need it."
She glanced back at me. "I need to find my mom. Are you coming?"
I sighed. But where my Princess went, I went.
"Yeah. I'm coming."
Clarke
I stepped into the bathroom. I wanted to make sure I looked composed before my mother saw me. If the last time I saw her was any indication, she was probably breaking apart right now. My mother was a strong woman, but a lot of her strength came from her family, and she'd just lost a huge portion of that family. If I was being honest, it made me terrified to let other people in. I couldn't afford to take strength from other people when they could be ripped away so easily.
Looking into the mirror, I saw myself cringe. The reflection staring back at me had dark circles under their eyes, pale skin, and white lips.
I splashed some water on my face, praying it would help. Then decided it probably wouldn't, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Opening the bathroom door, I came face to face with a concerned looking Bellamy Blake. I appreciated the concern, I really did. But I needed him to treat me like I was strong. Because maybe that would make it true.
As if reading my mind, he held out his hand. "Ready?"
I took it. "Nope." But I smiled at him, smiled as best as I could.
We walked over to my parents apartment, and I pulled the door open. Sucking in a deep breath of air, I turned to face Bellamy. "Wait here for a minute, okay?"
Bellamy's brown eyes shifted and I knew he didn't want to let me go, but he nodded reluctantly. I squeezed his hand one more time, and then I left to find my mother.
Creaking my parents' bedroom door open, I peered in to the dimly lit room. "Mom?"
All of a sudden, I really did not want to go into that room. Did not want to see my mother. Seeing her would make this real. It would mean my father had really been kidnapped by terrorists. I would have to face the fact that he was probably dead, or maybe worse.
I felt like such a coward. My dad had been taken my murderers, and I couldn't even face my own mother. I clenched my fists, needing to feel the pain of my fingernails slicing into my palm.
Pushing the door open all the way, I entered the room, and immediately saw my mother sitting on the bed, her phone crushed in her palm.
She looked up at me. "Clarke?" A small, watery smile appeared on her lips. "Oh, sweetheart, there you are."
"Mom." Suddenly I was on her bed and wrapped in her arms, breathing her deep, floral scent in.
I hadn't hugged my mom like this in a long time. Maybe not since I was a little girl. But it felt right, and I needed it.
"Are you okay, Clarke?" My mom's voice held only concern, not wavering at all.
I chided myself for thinking I'd have to be strong for my mother. We could be strong for each other.
"We're gonna be okay, mom." For some reason, I felt the need to tell her this. As if saying the words would make them true.
My mom didn't say anything, just pulled me even tighter against her chest.
A knock on the door caused us to pull apart. We both looked up to find my parents Head of Security, Marcus Kane, standing in the doorway.
My mom stood up. "What is it, Marcus? Is there any news?"
Kane cleared his throat. "Yes, Ms. Griffin. A communication has just come through. We need you right away."
My mom nodded. "Okay. Okay. That's good." She turned to me. "Stay here, Clarke. I'll find you afterwards."
I stood up. "What? No. Let me come, too. Please, mom."
My mother shook her head. "I need you to stay here, Clarke."
"Mom. Please." I saw her soften for a second, but all she said was, "I need you to be safe."
Then they were gone, and I was left to find answers for myself. And I knew just who to get them from.
"Bellamy," I called, rushing through the apartment, needing to find him.
"Bellamy! Where are you?" I was just about to yell something about how he was far too big to be able to hide in such a tiny space, when I ran into a solid wall of warmth.
He grabbed my arms to steady me. "Are you okay, Clarke?" His voice was urgent.
I looked up into his eyes, and for the first time since he'd told me he was going to leave me, I felt hope.
"Something's just come in, they contacted us. That's good, right? That means he's still alive." My voice came out breathless and excited.
Bellamy frowned. "Maybe, Clarke. But don't get your hopes up."
I didn't have time to listen to reason. My hopes were already up, and I needed for my father to be okay.
I shook my head. "Please, Bellamy. You have to find out what's going on. They won't tell me anything."
Bellamy must have seen the desperation in my eyes, because I saw something in his expression shift. He nodded. "Okay. I'll find out what's going on, but Clarke, I don't know what we're going to be able to do."
I nodded quickly. "I know. We just have to do whatever we can."
Bellamy gave me one last look, a look that told me not to do anything stupid, and then he left to go find Kane and my mother.
I was too on edge to sit, but I really couldn't do anything until Bellamy came back, so I just paced the apartment. Every time my mind would wander to some horrible thought, my overactive brain imaging every scenario of what my father was facing right now, I would just take a deep breath and tell myself that everything would be okay.
I needed to believe that.
After a good hour, Bellamy finally came back, an unreadable expression on his face.
He stopped in front of me, and looked down, our eyes connecting.
"He's alive."
The words opened up a dam in my chest, and I leaned closer towards Bellamy. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I knew that if I did, I would get lost in him and then I'd never find out where my father was.
Steeling myself I asked, "Where is he?"
"We don't know. They sent a ransom note of sorts." His voice was still totally even, and I didn't understand it. Was he hiding something?
"Bellamy, what does that mean?"
He let out a deep breath, and I finally heard it. The emotion he'd been trying to keep in. "It means the terms they've set, well, we can't honor them."
I froze. "What the fuck does that mean?"
Bellamy gave me this deep look that made me want to suck him in. "It means that we'll find another way, Clarke."
I could hear what he was really saying the same as if he'd spoken the words aloud. I'd do anything for you.
And for the first time, I believed him.
Whew. Well I'm gonna go eat the entire contents of my fridge now.