Chapter 9- A not-so-perfect Princess

Unfortunately, Jess only had about a week to enjoy her reign of terro- I mean, equal opportunities and free will. Her stepmother, clad in a sparkly new sinister crone (TM) outfit from Gucci's 2011 Evil Villain collection, saw to that. Jess had just sent the dwarves off to the mine (save Sleepy and Happy, who were tasked with washing the clothes in a nearby river) and was just sitting down to read one of the (pitifully few) books in the cottage that weren't about mining, when there was a knock at the door. Sighing, and wishing she'd had the foresight to keep at least one of the dwarves back for such menial tasks, Jess got up to answer it.

She opened the door, looked at her unexpected visitor... and then promptly shut the door in her face. She was still bearing a grudge from being thrown out of the carriage after all.

To her credit, Jess managed to ignore the pounding at the door and yelling for a good ten minutes before finally relenting.

"What?" Jess asked, in tones of severe annoyance.

"What do you mean, "what"? Ungrateful girl! I have been waiting outside for hours, growing steadily more tired as you callously ignore my pleas for help, and now you finally deign to let this poor, ailing old woman in from the bitter cold outside, you ask me that. Is it not obvious that I am trying to usher forward the next part of the story by acting as a useful plot device? Make no mistake; I would certainly not be here dealing with your insufferable rudeness if it were not strictly necessary. One would think that you would like to be rescued from your new life of servitude, but apparently not!" Jess didn't bother to correct her stepmother on the servitude part, she didn't have time anyway as barely seconds after the rant was seemingly finished she started up again.

5 minutes later...

"...and that's why you should always listen to your elders!"

Realising that Jess wasn't listening anymore, her stepmother considered starting her rant again but realising that she'd wasted enough time already she decided to get straight to the purpose of her visit.

"Never mind, dearest. Would you like an apple? They're good for you!"

"Not especially, no. I know how this story goes..."

"An orange then?"

"No."

"Cookies?"

"I probably can't eat them anyway."

"Well what can you eat?"

"I quite like chocolate..." Her stepmother's face lit up "But I won't eat anything you give me anyway. I told you, I know how this story goes and I don't want the plot to go any further than this, thank you."

The Queen looked like she was going to start shouting, but suddenly stopped, looked at her contemplatively and then left. Jess stared after her, before shrugging and shutting the door, glad to be able to go back to her book.

A few short hours later, there was another knock at the door. Jess sighed, and pulled herself up. Opening the door, she was surprised to see nobody there but a bar of chocolate on the doorstep. Bending down to pick it up, she heard something whizz over her head. She froze, and then slowly stood up again and looked at the door behind her. A small dart was stuck in the wood, right where her head had been. Turning round, she saw her stepmother coming out of the bushes, blowpipe in hand. Before she could react, the pipe was at her stepmother's lips and then everything went black.

Jess woke up to the unexpected sight of a stranger's face hovering over hers, his lips were pursed as though he were about to kiss her but the grimace that he wore suggested that he disliked that prospect as much as she did. She also found herself in a rather uncomfortable glass box wearing a dress that was red, yellow and blue- a far cry from the rather lovely green she had been wearing before her impromptu nap.

"Um… could you please back off a bit?" The stranger's eyes snapped open and he glared.

"You are supposed to follow the plot. Typical woman," He muttered. "Not following orders-"

"Excuse me?" Jess B sat up and inhaled as she prepared for the rant of her life. The rant those dwarves had suffered would be nothing to this… The dwarves all ran for cover. "You are actually suggesting that all a woman is supposed to do is follow orders?"

"Yes, I am. What of it, wench?"

"Do not call me wench and what do you mean 'What of it'? Women have minds too! We are strong, independent, capable-"

"-you are capable in the kitchen and embroidery. Oh, and childbirth."

Jess could hardly contain her rage. "You sexist-"

"You know my name then. Perhaps you are not such a stupid specimen after all. I must bring you to my castle."

"No! I'm not moving. I'm not going anywhere with you." She lay back down with her arms crossed. Prince Sexist just sighed and shook his head.

"Suit yourself." He fetched his horse "Dwarves! Bring me rope!" A dwarf nervously came out from his hiding place and dashed into the cottage. They heard clangs and the sound of pots and plates falling to the floor, before he returned with a length of rope. "Excellent," said the prince who then shut Jess in the box, tied it to his horse and started to ride away.

After what felt like hours they arrived at the castle and Jess concluded that glass coffin was not a good way to travel. What's more, the dwarves seemed to have packed roses in with her and the thorns kept pricking her through the dress.

Prince Sexist dismounted and sauntered over to her.

"Ready to get out now, woman?" Jess just continued glaring. She was not going to make things easy for this…she couldn't find a word strong enough, but she just wasn't going to do as he wanted, no matter how many bruises she had got from a combination of potholes and coffin-travel. The prince soon tired of this and dragged her out of the coffin himself. He carried her through the courtyard, up some stairs, into a bedroom where he threw her down on the bed. "You'd better be suitably appreciative of that! I am aware that strength is something a good man should have, and carrying his woman is something-"

"Your woman? I am not and will never be yours. I am not property- no woman is!"

"We are to be married and a wife is her husband's property. So quit whining and-"

"No! I. Am. Not. Marrying. You." Jess stood up and looked Prince Sexist in the eye, irritated when he just smirked.

"I beg to differ. Still, I'll arrange for you to go shopping. Women like that, don't they?" He left and Jess proceeded to push furniture against the door.

"If I'm stuck here I might as well make sure that he can't get in…"