A hole tore open the sky of Seireitei. Gin and Aizen stepped out. Pei, being psychic, already knew they were there to thank her. Being on the Hueco Mundo side would be fun…completely disregarding her solemn as rat pee promise never to cross over the Hueco Mundo side just because she liked Gin's humor. Besides, there were Espada to torture, Fraccion to abduct, and blind people to prank on. What more could an evil person want? So, with that in mind, she walked straight up to the two evil geniuses, looking rather short in her 5'3'' height, despite her high heeled boots which added about 2 inches to make 5''5'. Pei did not like feeling short, but that was how she felt when she stood next to the too ridiculously tall men. Hands twitching towards Akane Ayumu, she resisted the urge not to chop two feet off the men's height.
"Are ya Pei-Chan?" Gin asked. At least someone had the manners to ask, she grumbled under her breath, in an extremely bad mood due to her shortness.
"Yeah," Pei said, still resisting the urge to chop off those unnecessary two feet…
"Thank you for helping us wipe out Soul Society," Aizen said, smiling. Pei smirked.
"Anytime," she answered. She followed after the two ridiculously tall men that she had a good reason to suspect were gay into the Garganta, much to the horror and shock of many Bleach characters. Imagine the nightmare it would be for them if she actually helped out Hueco Mundo! Pranks and booby traps everywhere, incarcerated people, and little piles of ashes that faintly resembled human shapes. What would they do?
Meanwhile Pei was having the most fun that she had ever had. Already, she had come up with multiple nicknames for everyone.
"Super-Gay, when are we gonna eat?" she asked for the millionth time. Aizen sighed. He would have to put up with that to gain her ultimate powers of burning people? Oh well, he had already offered her a spot on his side, and no doubt she would at him to her ash collection if he kicked her out.
"The food is ready, Aizen-Sama," Ulquiorra mumbled. Pei whined like a spoiled five year old.
"Everyone here's so uptight! To hell with manners!" she complained. Ulquiorra sweat dropped. Aizen made a frantic gesture at him, signaling him away from the hyperactive authoress. Too late, Pei had picked up on it and decided to torture them further.
"Does anyone here know how to play soccer?" she asked. Ulquiorra and Aizen stared blankly at her. Pei sighed.
"I didn't think so. You wanna learn how to?" she asked. Aizen sweat dropped.
"Perhaps now is not the best-"he was cut off when Pei viciously slapped him with the hilt of Akane Ayumu. Completely deaf to Ulquiorra's protests, she dragged him through the many hallways of Hueco Mundo, managing to gather all the Espada in the desert. This would be fun.
"Now listen up! There are many ways of playing soccer! The normal way with rules and regulations, or the Pei way with no rules except everyone for their selves! Maiming is allowed but killing isn't! You can score by getting the ball into the goal! Harribel and I will be team captains since the rest of you are all stupid. You can go first," Pei boomed into a megaphone.
"Szayel," she finally decided. It would be useful to have someone that could tinker with the mechanics of the opponents' Reiastu. Pei sorted through the crowed.
"Ulquiorra," she said. Then he could go into Batman form and kick ass!
The teams ended up being Harribel, Szayel, Aaroniero, Yammy, Nnoitra and Pei, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Zommari, and Baraggan. Stark was left alone because no one wanted to wake him up. Let the death begin.
A/N: I wonder who will win. I'm kind of said there's no maiming allowed.
Parody Thingy:
Pei: Our team rocks! Yours doesn't!
Harribel: Our team's better!
Stark: *snores*
Nnoitra: We're not gonna be beat by some punk-ass 12 year old kid!
Pei: I dare you to run that by me again.
Nnoitra: Anytime! We're not-
Pei: Hadou 90; Kurohitsugi!
Nnoitra: *stumbles out all bloody and faints*
Harribel: Was that really necessary?
Pei: Of course.
Nel: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? WAHH! BLOOD!
Stark: Huh? What where why when how?
Pei: I guess we'll have a referee now.