A/N Why no Thursday update? Because I am lazy. Also I was at a con past weekend and school just started. Whoops.
The headquarters were noisy. Everybody was already there. They quickly greeted Light and disappointingly found out that there had been no change in Ryuzaki's condition, nor passwords to the locked files and folders and the detectives got visibly depressed. Their spirits were slightly uplifted by the news of Watari's improved health, but the loyal guardian of the genius detective was soon forgotten, as the huge amount of new information didn't leave room for anything else. Police reports and messages from the prisons about the deaths of criminals needed detailed processing and analysis. The video tapes and photographs that were handed over needed to be looked over. They needed to understand what was going on and why, and what could they, right now, alone, without Ryuzaki, could put up against the invincible killer.
Just like he expected, Light was unanimously put into the place of a leader of the investigation. No discussion, no loud speeches, the fact that this was the time for Light to take up the place of the genius detective, just like L had asked some time ago, was not questioned. It was easy to slip into–giving out small orders, directing the investigation team and telling everyone what they should be doing, it came naturally and in discussions he always had the last word and decision as, unnoticeably, everyone had started to direct their questions to him. None of the former policemen voiced any concern that the one in charge of the Kira investigation is the person who, for the longest time, was the prime suspect of it. Light received their full trust. He completely cleared himself of any suspicions with his desperate attempt to save Ryuzaki's life and deep concern for the life of a friend. The fact that L and him managed to get close and became best friends was not questioned by anyone now. All that was needed was to look at Light's usually dispassionate face and see the sadness and determination. Determination to finish this case.
They were so easy to control. So easy to make them look over small details. Make wrong conclusions. Even his father. Light, with all his respect toward his father, felt some sort of pride with how gracefully he was confusing the former Chief of Japanese Police. Kira rejoiced. Rejoiced and writhed in his soul from pain and loneliness surrounding him. From that emptiness which radiated from Ryuzaki's chair. From the simple fact that no one was chewing their thumb, crouched in that chair, staring down at him. Because there was no one to be afraid of anymore. Light sorely realized that his genius and incredible game were rotting and disappearing in front of a couple of people, who weren't able to judge his ability. His talent.
He was calming himself down with the thought that the chance, even if as minimal as the doctors said, was still there. The chance that the owner of the most genius mind would return. Open his eyes. Request the reports from the past few days. Look at Light with surprise. And return to catching Kira, trying to trick him into his web of words and hints, cornering him, making him unable to catch the elusive genius.
Because of that, despite his loneliness and sadness, Light didn't forget to carefully look over all the data, searching for errors which he could've made. Consciously not recording even minuscule details which could lead to the first Kira. Possibly, right now, he was overestimating L, elevating his ability to put together different pieces of information. But too many times it was that the detective cornered him, untangling the ball of lies and finding the right string to the truth, where it seemed that even Light had lost it. That's why he needed to be extremely careful right now. Not allow even a single mistake. Build a logical chain in which there would be no errors.
Light's plan was incredibly simple. When Higuchi appeared, Yagami constantly felt a growing friendliness for Ryuzaki. At the time he was doubting Light's guilt and he was certain that his suspicions weren't all that important. What was important was that they were always together, doing the same thing. And Light always felt like he was in the detective's sight. Always feeling Ryuzaki's interest in his words, conclusions, actions. Light clung to the short praises of his abilities and genius mind. He was able to sit beside him, talk to him, work and drink tea. They were…They were like two fighting countries, making a peace treaty in the time of war with a common enemy. Even if it was just for a while. It was an entrancing feeling, to feel the closeness with which he was able to communicate with the greatest detective. With the person who was pleasant and interesting to talk to, and from whom he could learn so much. With his main enemy, who he could hate with his whole heart and respect with his whole being.
Light only now realized how much he actually had. If there was at least a one in a million chance to return at least something, he didn't want to lose it. He needed to get ready for the play. Put up the decorations, write out the roles. But for the main part he needed an outside enemy. A dangerous, ruthless enemy, against whom the two fighting counties would have to join forces. Start to trust each other for the time of the treaty. Stop, for at least some time, to build plans to destroy each other. And then—well he'd figure that out afterwards.
The bold and frightening headlines of the newspapers nudged him an idea to use his yesterday's weakness, his despair, which resulted in consequences, which had been unpleasant for him, for the creation of a new character. A third Kira—really, why not? A great opportunity for an external enemy. Even, to be honest, the only possible one. The world didn't actually give a shit about which number the investigation slapped onto a new Kira entity. When the time came, he would put everything in its place, bringing forth the priorities and appointing the main puppeteer. The time would come and the world would discover the true God. This world, protected from crime. Possibly this God could be able to save his eternal enemy—a bony, messy detective, in it. Because otherwise the new world would be too empty and cold and Light understood that perfectly.
However, he also understood that if Ryuzaki stood in the way to his goal again, he'd kill him once more. Without doubts. Only… not immediately… He still needed answers to the questions which he still wasn't able to form, too surprised by the opponent's sudden exit from the play.
Light thanked the unknown-to-him journalist in his thoughts, the imagination that person had helped him. The only thing left was to bring in another fictional, active player and turn him into the main target of the investigation. But you couldn't hurry with that. And you couldn't show initiative either. Because the quiet, soft voice would definitely later ask why it was Light who was trying to convince everybody else that the note had exchanged hands once again. Despite how much the best student of Japan wanted to hear that voice right now, he realized perfectly how dangerous such questions were. Because of that, when looking through the newspapers, Matsuda finally noticed the needed headline, and the headquarters buzzed with the questions about the possibility of a Third Kira. Light stood his position against that idea. Arguing that they had too little facts and evidence for the conclusion. That they won't accept this version just based on one day of different behavior from Kira. That they needed to observe and collect statistics, put together and thoroughly check and compare the data from the first and second Kira to the new facts. That, in the end, it could be a new sly plan to distract their attention away from the real Kira and they couldn't let themselves to be led on by the provocation.
Of course, the former officers agreed with him and continued the work with the data analysis without connections to the theories of a third Kira. Light was satisfied.
However, the feeling that someone was watching his back, wearing a sly smile, catching the lies in his conclusions, wouldn't leave him. Light himself knew that he played only in half of his abilities. 'I'd act differently for you', Light addressed him. 'But for them this will work. And if you are so smart, you could've been sitting here and not lying who knows where.'
Disappointingly, he felt that he was beginning to feel the absence of Ryuzaki again, the feeling which had let go a bit during the argument with his colleagues.
Misa called. Light walked out of the main office, but wasn't sure if the cameras were turned off or if they kept filming the empty rooms and halls. So he tried to shorten the call, putting the blame on the business of the whole team. Plus, he still hadn't decided if he would go to Misa tonight, or put the new killings on her and drive home with his father instead. The prospect of going to Misa was not pleasant. Light felt some embarrassment for yesterday's blast of anger and imagination. And for the same reason he didn't want to go home either—he was embarrassed to hug his mother and sister, knowing that they read the newspapers and saw the photographs. In the end he had no where to go.
If Ryuzaki was here, Light would stay to work and the question of where to sleep would be solved. But staying in the headquarters alone was not a pleasant thought either. And how would he explain that to his father? Forgetting about Kira, Light grimly looked at the monitor and tried to understand—how could it be that he, the best student in Japan, the God of this world, had absolutely no where to go?
"Light are you going home today?" His father pulled his thoughts out of the grim path. Light looked back at him, lost. He completely got engaged in his thoughts and didn't notice that it was dark outside, and all the detectives were ready to go home.
"Sorry, dad, but no." Light put up a slightly embarrassed front and guiltily looked over at his father. "I thought, and Misa asked to come over… I'll go to her tonight."
"Again!" Matsuda finished happily.
Luckily, he couldn't see Light's eyes, hidden behind his bangs as usual, otherwise he'd have met the full of hatred in the eyes of Kira. Light decided to ignore the remark.
"Of course, visit Misa," Soichiro answered genially. "Speaking of, it's Saturday soon, maybe you could invite her for dinner. Sachiko would be happy."
"Yeah… Thank you. Of course, I'll invite her." Light thought that this was the first time that his parents had invited him and his girlfriend over for a family dinner. It would be wonderful… If that girlfriend was not Misa. The Second Kira.
"Light, are you done? Come with us, we can leave together," suggested Mogi.
"Yes, I'll just turn off the computer. You can go, I'll catch up at the elevator. It's a long wait anyway." Light moved the chair.
The detectives, putting on coats and jackets as they got up, hurried out. Everyone had somewhere to go, each of them, even Matsuda, had someone waiting. They all were hurrying to meet someone. No one waited for Kira. Even Ryuzaki, in his hospital bed, didn't care if his friend visited him or not. Or an enemy, as there was no difference by now.
The best student in Japan was left alone in the office. Cringing from the thoughts in his head like a tooth pain, Light waited for the computer shut down. He grabbed the jacket from beside his chair, which he had thrown there this morning, and made a step toward the exit. He felt that he had stepped on something. He leaned down to check what it was and, with a shaking hand, lifted a teaspoon. He recognized it. It was the exact same spoon with which Ryuzaki had pointed at the notebook, informing them that he was going to test it. That exact spoon which had slipped from the detective's hand before he, weakened, fell out of his chair. Before Light caught him, not letting him hit the floor and felt in his hands the warmth of another's body. Smelled the light scent of vanilla.
The memories attacked in a wave. Light remembered how light he thought Ryuzaki was. And his last gaze. How slowly the black eyelashes lowered, closing his eyes. And also… the memory of the slightly sweet taste of someone else's lips made Light nervously lick his own. All of those memories were overwhelming. They made it hard to breathe and made him want to scream. Light clutched the spoon in his hand and kicked the nearest chair with full force.
"Damnit, Ryuzaki, if only you knew how much I hate you!" His scream was more like the howl of a wounded animal.
He finally could allow himself to scream, left alone in the room where he last spoke with his enemy.