Chapter 10-Pain
Once I woke up, I'd realized that someone had put a pair of shorts on me. Good to know someone didn't want to see me with my wang out. I sat up and saw that everyone was separated and sad as if they had just came from a funeral. I touched my chest to see if I was still solid, then I looked to the side of me to see if my dead body was laying beside my now lingering spirit. Nothing. Good. Bella sat on the couch with Nessie, holding her hand and rubbing her back. Emmet and Jasper stood on guard at the front and back doors. Carlisle and Alice were the only ones who seemed to be talking at all. I assumed that Carlisle had Alice going over the decisions that each Volturi member was making. They spoke to fast for me to hear what they were saying, but as soon as they notice I was awake, they rose.
"Jacob. I'm happy to see your up. How are you feeling?" Carlisle walked over to me and placed his hand on my head.
I jerked away, "Fine thank you." They tend to forget how sharp their cold skin is on mine.
"That's nice to know. You took quite a fall."
"Yeah, tell me about it." I said.
I felt a draft of air shot past my face and Edward suddenly appeared in front of Alice. "What are they planning?" His teeth were still clinched together. My head had been spinning so much that I almost forgot about what he had told me they wanted.
"Who's planning what? What's going on?" I stood up from the couch slowly and Carlisle put his hand out to help. I declined. "Is anyone going to answer me?"
"Umm..." Alice paused, "I think this is a conversation that would be best held while your sitting Jacob."
"Alice, please. I was just put in extreme pain by a little bitch of a vampire for hours and I think--"
"Hours?", Nessie cut me off, "Jake, she only had you out for five seconds at most." The pain felt like an eternity to me. I thought about that moment she had me out and the pain came front and center. My head thudded and I immediately sat back down in my seat. Seconds? Wow.
"Okay, well. As you all should know I've been going through the paths of each Volturi member and--"
"Wait, so what Edward said was true? They really want Nessie?" Alice gave me a shape gaze when I cut her off. She never liked being cut off mid sentence. If looks could kill. "Yes Jacob, Edward was right. They do want Renesmee." She rolled her eyes at me then redirected her attention to the others. They must have been working her over time with the "seeing the future" stuff, seeing as how her attitude was a bit off. I brushed off her response and let her continue. "As I was saying, it seems that each Volturi member has completely different paths. I think that they are all conjoined with each other but once--" She was cut off again. The back door opened and the fresh air carried in a new smell, a smell way different from the Cullen's. It was a smell that I remembered, my brothers.
"Ah, Sam." Carlisle said. I hadn't noticed the faint smell of werewolves that had been lingering in the house since before they came in. My nose had become so adjusted to the smell of vamps that I could almost not smell myself sometimes. "Is Leah doing well?" he asked. Sam looked away from Carlisle to me...
"Yes, she's fine." He was obviously upset at me, and he had all the right to be. I let mine and Leah's emotions control my decision and now we're both in pain. After all these years of practice, I thought I had finally figured out how to keep their emotions from mixing with my own. Guess not. Paul, Jared, Quil, and the rest of the guys came in after Sam and they all had their own special smug looks for me. I scanned around for Seth but figured he would be with his sister, of course. All I could do was hang my head in shame. Sam's glare alone was enough to drive me to want the pain back. The physical pain would be more pleasing to me right now then the mental and emotional pain that I was going through. Every mussel in my body was tensing up and I could feel my walls and guards falling as the shame washed over me. The alpha in Sam worked its magic on me once again. "Jacob, come." The way he said my name was so sharp that I could feel the anger pulsing behind those two words. It was an authority that I hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity. I rose from the couch, slowly and without hesitation, then walked through the door after him. Every eye in the room behind me peered into my back as I walked into the afternoon light. I couldn't turn to look at Nessie, I couldn't turn or say anything at this point. All I could do was come, just like the dog they said I was. Maybe I am a dog.
He lead me deep into the woods. Far away from anyone that might have wanted to eavesdrop on our conversation. By the way the guys stayed in the house without hesitation or complaint when me and Sam left, I could tell he had already gave them their orders about the situation. If he hadn't, then I could guess that they would have been very near by, listening to everything.
My head was still hung low when we finally stopped. Sam turned to me and folded his arms over his chest. I raised my head slightly and gazed at the darkness in his eyes. He looked at me as if he was waiting for something. He started tapping his fingers on his arm, impatience and frustration slowly taking him over. I looked at him with confusion, then finally broke the silence.
"Aren't you going to start crucifying me soon?" He dropped his arms and found a fallen tree to sit on. I had no clue what his strategy was now. Was he waiting for me to start begging him to spare me from his mighty wrath? He might have had some control over me in my weakened state, but begging was definitely not going to happen.
"I'm waiting." he said, "I want to know everything that happened before I jump to any conclusions."
He sat and stayed as still as a statue. He never gave anyone a chance to plea their case. He never gave me a chance to plea my case, ever. This sudden chance to finally be heard by someone other then a vamp who could read my mind caught me off guard. I half expected him to have known what would be said before I even got a word in edge wise. But no, he sat and said nothing. Then I remembered, "Didn't Leah fill you in on what happened?"
He stood then. "Yes, she did. But her story was more based on her emotions then the actuality of the situation. Besides, she's in to much pain to even put together in her head what happened. Seems that Demitri guy cracked her pretty hard in the face. From what Carlisle says, she'll be dazed for about a day or two." Sam's jaw clinched at the thought of the pain Leah was going through. Even though he and Leah had been broken up for what seemed that forever ago, he still felt for her. When she pained, he pained. After all these years he still hasn't put away the memory of him breaking her heart. Every pain she feels he automatically blames it on himself.
After a short silence I took a long breath and let the words spill over. I spoke until the sky went dark and it began to drizzle. I filled him in on everything. Leah's confession of how she imprinted on me, my fight with Nahuel, I even explained the part about how I thought Seth was gay. That seemed to be the only part that amused Sam at all. We both laughed at the stupidity of that theory. But then, I became serious once he asked me about why Leah snapped. I paced back and forth, trying my hardest to avoid saying that me and Nessie having had sex caused her outrage. If he knew, then the guys will know, and I really didn't want to be bombarded with questions and joke about my first sexual act. But there was no way I could get around saying the truth. Though it would be easier to lie to him then Edward, I still had the "I can't hide anything" mentally. He was my judge and jury now and I had to explain everything. I shook the words out my throat and they came out trembled. I stopped to intently examine his face as he processed my last few words. His face didn't change, he only gestured for me to go on.
After what seemed like hours of explaining everything, I was finally able to take a breath. His face was fierce, saddened, and calmed all at once. It was the face your grandfather would give you if he were disappointed in you. Not because of a bad report card or anything, but because you got expelled from school or went to jail for hanging with the wrong crowd. Sam's wisdom went on for years and it read all over his face. But his wisdom was nothing compared to the anger I knew I was going to receive.
"Jacob, just answer me this."
"Sure" I said in response. "Go ahead."
"Why did you feel you didn't need to call us?" Here goes the crucification I was waiting for. "In situations like this you know the packs have to stick together. Not even Quil and Embry knew about what was going on here. I probably have a few new members for my pack waiting on the reservation for me because of your little visit."
I couldn't say anything to Sam. All I could do was listen to every word he was saying and try not to get pissed off to easy. I always hate when Sam spoke to me, or anyone else for that matter, like he was their father. I know hes the chief of reservation now and that I should have let him know what was going on with me and Cullens from the beginning, but that gave him no right to talk to me like he was father. "Quite honestly Jacob, I'm disappointed in you. Your grandfather was a great and powerful man. I expected so much more from you. But I can see that I was wrong. So was Bil--"
"Don't bring my father into this. Don't you dare say a word about him." I shut Sam up before he could finish his sentence. The words came out my mouth like razor blades and almost hurt me when they exited. Almost. He had no right to try and bring him into this as if that would make me feel any better.
"It's not as if I was saying it to make you upset Jacob. Billy was like a father to me. But I told him you weren't like your Ephraim, I told him I would take care of you and make sure you didn't run into anymore trouble." Even though my mussels trembled with anger, I was frozen. My stare was stuck to the ground and my feet were firmly planted in the mud. My mind tracked back to my fathers last words, back to his death bed. "But what did he say Jacob? What did he tell me?"
I shook and my lungs tried their hardest to squeeze the words out. I breathed, "He....he..." That was all my mind would allow me to say. My memories had taken over me way to quickly for my mind to process any words other then "He". Once I knew where my mind was drifting to I instant wanted Jane's pain back, but it was to late. My mind flashed back in time when my father, Billy Black, laid in his bed dying slowly and painfully. He had gotten a cut on his leg and didn't notice until it was to late. It was infected and had spread throughout his body so fast that once Carlisle had noticed a change in his smell, my father was already a dead man. Me, Sam, and the entire reservation was packed into his room, waiting to give our final goodbyes. We even allowed the Cullens to come and pay their respects even though they couldn't stay very long. "The smell is over powering." Alice whispered. "Not to be rude, but when do we leave?"
"Soon Alice, soon." Jasper held his breath the entire time and only spoke twice. Once to speak to Alice and again to whisper to my father "See you on the other side." He was a southerner, so he was a believer in god and the afterlife. He believed, no, he knew he was going to the other side. Which side that was, no one knew?
One by one each person, and vampire, came and said their goodbyes and see you laters. Eventually they all realized that sicking around wasn't really an option in the Black house. It was way to small for anyone to have space to move at all. But I never moved. I stayed next to my father, never moving for anything. Not even the chill of Nessie's small hand on my shoulder made me budge. No hugs, no words, nothing anyone did made me move. All the Cullens came to pat my shoulder as they left one after another, except for Carlisle. We had no real doctors on the reservation and Carlisle was the only doctor my dad trusted. The only ones left in the room were me, Carlisle, and Sam. I sat on his right side like any son would, Sam sat on the left, and Carlisle sat at his feet. He didn't need to be to close to know what was going on with my father now. His heart was beating so fast that Carlisle could of heard it miles away from the reservation. Carlisle was the one who broke the silence first after minutes of being alone in the dim lit room.
"We're not far now. It should be over soon." Even with years of experience on giving people bad news, he still had a hard time saying those words.
My father finally spoke. "Sam." He breathed, barely able to speak after hours of saying farewell. "Sam, promise me you will take care of the reservation. You are the chief and I do expect for you to do well with it until Jacob gets the courage to lead these people." His voice was dry but he refused water. I figured he felt he would get as much water as he need in heaven. "I will Billy. I promise."
"Don't start calling me Billy again just because Jacob is around. He won't mind." Tears welled up in Sam's eyes when my father said that and he sobbed out, "Yes father. I promise."
He finally turned to me and called my name. I dropped to my knees and grabbed his hand. I pulled it close to my chest but held on to it lightly because of how fragile he was now. Just the sound of him calling my name so pained made tears run down my face. "Yes dad." I whispered. He only smiled at me and placed his left hand on my cheek whipping a tear away.
"I never thought I would see the day my Jacob would cry for anything." I could only smile at the fact of that statement. Up until that point I tried to stay as hard as stone. Almost no emotion. In his mind he had done the unthinkable, he'd lived long enough to see his only son, cry.
"Now who will I get to look after you. I knew I couldn't of protected you for very long, but damn it I tried." Carlisle snickered once at the humor of that statement, as did I. I was always my fathers protector, but he saw it all differently. He felt that if he weren't in a wheelchair, and if I didn't have to take care of him, then I might have been out there doing god knows what like any boy who hadn't changed into a werewolf on the reservation. His disability, was my protection.
"I'll take care of him father. He is Ephraim's grandson but he isn't Ephraim. I know Jacob and I'll make sure he doesn't get into trouble. As long as I'm the chief, I will make sure of that." Sam stopped crying long enough to shot those words out a me. I felt the demand in his tone but I couldn't bare to take my gaze away from my father's eyes. This would be the last time I'd see them and I wanted to get as much wisdom out of them in this short time as I could.
"No need Sam. He is Ephraim Black's grandson and I know he will be fine. You will be a wonderful man Jacob, and a masterful chief someday. I believe that, I know that. You have proven yourself to be a wonderful pack leader the past years and I expect you to only get better from here on. If not for yourself, for your people." He spoke the words with such confidence. Even in his weakened state I believed every word he said.
He dropped his left back to his side and the tear he whipped away had appeared again on on my cheek. He fixed his gaze on Carlisle and I had forgotten he was still here. He had been as still has a statue and and as quite as a mouse. Carlisle nodded at my father and said, "It's time." He father smiled at Carlisle then his eyes drifted to the sealing. "I love you all." His last words. His hand dropped from my chest and he was gone.