10.

~ Eating a meal with Alex and Dylan by the pool had felt wonderful and relaxing. It was something that normal people did. They did this all the time without fighting or not speaking or harshly criticizing other people.

Norma could, if only for an hour, pretend that this was her life. That she lived here in this beautiful bubble with Alex and that they were well protected and looked after.

The moment the thought entered her mind, she found a sickly need to vomit tickle her throat. She didn't want to be 'looked after'. Not the way she was used to. Told when to get up, what to cook and when to go to bed. She was even told when she and Sam would be having sex and if she doing it right. She was instructed by Sam on how to act in public as though she were a child. She wasn't allowed to talk much even in her own home. She had to agree with everything he said, even when he broke Dylan's arm and snarled that the boy had it coming and to stay out of his way.

She'd been no better than a dog on a leash. A neglected pet who only wanted to make its' owner happy and didn't know how. Who flinched and whimpered at every turn and assumed all the bad things happening were because of them.

She didn't want to be anyone's pet anymore. She didn't want to be looked after. Sam had looked after her. He'd provided her with a house in a nice neighborhood and a new SUV to drive. Dylan attended private schools and outwardly, they had it all.

Inwardly, their home was empty from lack of furniture and she was a prisoner inside. She wasn't allowed friends and she and the boys were always underfoot somehow. Her boys slept on mattresses on the floor and she had a spartan wardrobe because she never had money to go shopping. Sam controlled everything she did and she was just a bothersome pet. Not a wife, not a partner; just a dog who needed affection and validation.

She'd swallowed hard and reminded herself that Alex didn't treat her like Sam had. She'd been sick after all. She could barely look after herself, let alone Dylan. Alex had come in like a super hero and saved the day. Given her a place to land until she could get back on her feet; literally.

He'd made sure Dylan was comforted and looked after, so why were these dark thoughts invading Norma's mind?

'Because he wants to control you. He wants to keep you here. He's not that different from Sam.' she thought hatefully while watching Alex correct the toy boat in the pool for Dylan. It was well past sunset now and she was feeling full and tired.

'He may seem like he's protecting you, but that's how Sam had started to.' the voice said. 'Maybe he doesn't want to put you on a leash but he defiantly wants you to be a pet. Even if it's just a house cat.'

Alex had wisely brought dinner on paper plates so it was a simple matter of throwing them out after eating. Alex had asked her what she wanted for dinner tomorrow when Norma suddenly stood up.

"John!" she said loudly. The name sounding strange as she said it. As though she never said such a common name. "Its' time to go to bed."

"Mom, it's still early." Dylan argued and looked pitifully at his boat.

"The boat will be here when you get up tomorrow." Alex said plucking up the intricately detailed model Dylan had been occupied with all evening.

"You need a bath and I've got your spiderman pajamas." Norma said helping Alex toss out the rest of their paper trash.

"MOM!" Dylan hissed in alarm and his face flushing red. He was obviously embarrassed to be treated like a child in front of Alex.

"Come on." Norma said shepherding her son back to the cottage. She turned and looked back at Alex.

"I didn't ask about my car. Was it impounded?" she asked him. She'd forgotten about the little economy car that she'd bought on craigslist for cash. With everything that had happened and being taken to this place, she hadn't thought about her car for days.

Alex shook his head.

"I have your keys. I buddy of mine drove it over here for me." he said. "You weren't thinking of leaving now, were you?"

Dylan had left them. His small, bare feet making slapping sounds around the pool before he ducked into the shadows and onto the pathway towards the cottage. The child had no use for grownups or boring conversations.
"Umm… soon." she said.

"You're still recovering." he argued as if she were being unreasonable. "You were really sick."

"I'm much better now." she told him brightly. "They let me out of the hospital."

"They were wrong to do that." he told her harshly. "I was thinking, when your lawyer comes tomorrow, you would tell him that you were released too early. You're still too weak to look after yourself."

Norma froze. A lawyer would mean questions; investigating her and Dylan. She felt a wave of dizziness rush over her.

"I don't want to talk to the lawyer. Its' fine." she said. Alex looked suspicious. That coldness had kept between them like a ghost. A suspicion of things they didn't say.

"You need to talk to him. He'd getting a settlement for you." he said gravely. "I know you don't want your ex knowing where you are, but…"

The silence spun between them. A powerful thing that made Norma's body hurt with anxiety.

"You have the keys?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest and then her waist.

Alex nodded.

"They're up in the house." he nodded to the mansion. "I'll leave them on the kitchen counter when I get up. Vicki, I want you to wait a little while before leaving. This whole ordeal…" he shook his head. "You might not be over it. What if you're driving and you pass out behind the wheel?"

Norma looked at him horrified. Not because he suggested she might have a wreck but because he called her by the name 'Vicki'. She never thought she would hate a name so much. It made her sad beyond words that Alex didn't know her real name. That when he thought about her, he didn't think of her with her real name.

"I-" she started say.

"Stay till the week is out." Alex said. A hint of his former self coming back. A happiness shinning brightly in his eyes. "You'll keep me company at least. If you don't want to talk to the lawyer, I'll make him go away."

It had seemed too easy. Alex making it easy for her to stay in their bubble. As if he needed her and not that she was indebted to him for her care.

"I still want my keys." she said. "I need to be… able to leave when I want to."

Alex looked a little hurt but nodded.

"I'll leave them on the kitchen counter in the morning." he said patiently.

Norma leaned away from him. There was still that strangeness that had appeared between them that evening. That unwelcome ghost that had created a chill in their relationship.

~ Dylan was asleep by midnight but Norma was still awake. Her diary was out on the little kitchen table and she'd been amazed at how much had happened since her last entry. She quickly, yet methodically worked backwards and filled in the details of getting sick, of what she'd been told of Alex rescuing her and taking her to the hospital. Of Dylan having his cast removed and of the cabins being demolished and of Alex bringing her and Dylan here.

She paused and looked up feeling her neck and hand strain at all the information she'd written. She'd kept everything clinical. Factual and objective. If she hadn't witnessed something first hand, she wrote that Dylan or Alex had told her about it.

She wrote a little about the mansion, the two swimming pools and the little guest cottage. How no one knew they were here and she felt very isolated and protected.

~ I sometimes think I would like to live here forever. We were eating dinner by the pool, Alex and I. The two of us watching Dylan with this toy sailboat and I thought it felt like we were a real family. We must have looked like a real family. Like something out of a movie. But it's not a movie and it's not real. It's not real because Alex doesn't know the real me. He doesn't even know my real name.

I think he's starting to suspect something to. I felt a difference when we were together today. He didn't seem as happy.

Dylan adores him. They were talking about Alex tour of duty in the Marines and Alex had him dress up in his old uniform. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. The kind of thing Sam wouldn't have done with him. It made me happy to see, but now I'm scared. I'm scared to let Dylan get too close. Because I don't know this man very well and I know it won't last.

I let a man into my life before. I let a man endanger my kids before. If it was just me, I could live with these decisions on my own, but I have to think of Dylan and Norman. I have to be careful about who I let into their lives.

Sam once seemed like a great guy. A guy who came to us when things were bad and rescued us.

He changed so quickly and now I feel like I offered up my children as a sacrifice to him. Dylan was so young and I practically forced this 'new father' on him. I was so quick to marry him, so quick to have a baby with him because I wanted to cement the relationship. I can't just have another man around my kids just because I'm lonely or need help sometimes.

Even if Alex seems to be the perfect guy, that could all be a facade. I could be placing my sons into a dangerous situation with a man I barely know just because I'm attracted to him. Just because I want to start over so badly and he would make it easier. I can't do that. I'm a mother. I don't get to put myself first. I have to get Norman back and we need to move somewhere else.

~ Norma leaned away from the paper. Her writing had gotten sloppy with her emotions winning out. She had to write this down though. Had to steel herself to leave in the morning and take Dylan with her. They would check into a motel and she would find out what was happening with Sam Bates. She would devise a plan then to get Norman back.

She looked at the pages and knew she couldn't end it there. She had to close things properly.

~ In the morning, I'll take us to another county. I won't say goodbye to Alex. It will make it easier. If I don't say goodbye. It will be better if he hates me a little.

The way he looked at me tonight by the pool, it was different. I didn't like the way he looked at me then. He'd always looked at me with kindness before. Things feel different.

I don't want to remember him looking at me that way. I want to always remember him being kind to me. Of looking at me like he cared for me. Like he cared for me when he hardly knew me. It will be easier this way.

~ Norma looked over that last part. Her writing much easier to read. She didn't want to leave this place. To leave Alex, but she'd written it down and she knew it had to happen.

She wanted to cry at the prospect of leaving him. Of leaving this place of refuge and peacefulness. She hid her diary back in the large air vent and went to her bedroom. Her body still too wired for sleep.

She'd slept most of the day and didn't want to go back to sleep. It was well past midnight, and a foolish idea, but no one was around and the only two people here were asleep. They wouldn't even know she'd gone for a midnight swim.

She didn't have a bathing suit, but that didn't matter. She could always swim in her underwear or… she smiled at the thought, nothing at all.

Not eating much over the last few days had made her feel slimmer and slightly more confident. She checked on Dylan before gently padding outside to the Greek pool.

The blue colored waters were still alarmingly beautiful even in the weak light of the moon and the far off lights of the main house. If she had money one day, she'd get herself a pool like this. One with blue colored tiles in it so that it always looked as blue as the grecian ocean.

Norma slipped off the cotton night dress she'd been planning to wear to bed and, sensing she was alone here, pulled down her panties.

It felt exhilarating to be naked in the outdoors like this. Her fragile body exposed to the moonlight and to the prying windows of the mansion.

For all she knew, the owners could have come home and could see her right now. She smiled at the idea of Alex lying awake and maybe catching her walking around the pool. Tapping the waters with her toe and testing the temperature.

She didn't bother to conceal her breasts or body. She walked and leaned over as if fully dressed. She'd worked hard to lose the cumbersome weight and she felt renewed. Even with her recovery, Alex's attention and being well fed, she felt strong and capable.

'It's now or never.' she told herself and dove into the waters.

It was much colder than she thought. The waters seeming to hold onto the coldness more than the air. She could feel the air bubbles tickling her naked skin like little fingers.

Norma kicked and moved her body upward to the surface. The cold water enveloping her and cradling her in such a natural state.

She let out a little scream when she came up for air and smiled. The waters weren't welcoming, but they had her now. She wasn't going to hop out and shiver all the way back to the cottage. She moved a little more to stir up her blood and tried to reassure herself that she would warm up.

She used to love to swim as a child, and was good at it, but the muscle memory had forgotten itself. She wasn't as graceful as she used to be. It wasn't like riding a bike where she could go without doing it for so long.

Norma kicked and moved her arms as if caressing the water and her body remembered what to do. That swimming was actually hard work and moved a lot of body parts.

She swam the short end of the pool and back again. Her back stroke with her belly and breasts exposed to the air felt nice. Not like being in a bathtub, but of stealing away to a foreign place; escaping from something.

She wasn't sure why such an image leapt to her mind, but she liked it. Liked the idea of running away and swimming in the cold sea. That her clothes had been washed away and she was truly free. Reborn.

Finally, after a few laps, Norma decided to get out. The water was cold, too cold, and she was getting tired and feeling weak. She'd thankfully brought a good size beach towel from the cottage bathroom and longed to wrap herself up again.

She noticed this odd pool had stairs instead of a ladder. The owners didn't want to ruin the graceful nature of the Greek style by putting in a metal ladder of diving board. So, Norma swam to the concrete steps and felt her feet touch the rough surface.

She shivered slightly at the harshness of warm summer air on her cold, wet skin. Her nipples hadn't liked the swim at all. They'd become hard and erect from the cold in protest. Even when they feel the warm summer air, they didn't relax.

Norma stepped easily out of the cold waters. Her hair dripping wet and she knew she would have to take a shower before bed. The good news, she decided as she rang out her hair from the moisture, was that she would sleep well tonight. Swimming had always exhausted her as a child and would no doubt do so now.

She felt perfectly comfortable slipping around the pool to where she'd left her towel. Her body feeling a little warmer now that it was out of the water. The dry fabric on her skin was wonderful and as she brushed off the last of the water, wrapped the towel around her body, she could feel eyes on her.

She paused, like a deer in a meadow that knows it's being hunted. Her breathing slowing down and her gaze directly ahead.

"Norma?" came a voice and she turned to see Alex had emerged from the shadows.