Milestone ten chapters. Wahoo!
I think I'm going to have to start giving out complimentary tissue boxes every-time I write an angst chapter in this story. I'm so sorry to those of you who cried and than proceeded to commend me on my writing - that was very nice of you. This chapter also has a darker, more serious theme but there's no deaths and enough fluff to make it loveable.
So while I was stumbling around tumblr I began to see a lot of people reblogging the youngjusticeheadcanon site so I went and noticed they were having a fanfiction contest and me the ever annoying person who bites off more than they can chew and loves challenges decided to write one for headcanon 75. So thanks to anonymous for posting it – I hope I did it justice.
75. Wally still has nightmares of Artemis dying in the Failsafe exercise. He wrote those feelings in a poem for their Vietnamese Lit. class and received an 'A' on it. When he got it back, he threw it away as soon as he got home in hopes that Artemis wouldn't see it. She did find it, however, and proceeded to cry over it for a good solid hour.
But now let me thank the very nice people who reviewed my story and still managed to write nice things after the last chapter.
naturegirl11432: Oh please don't cry! Hands tissues! Thank you for the review.
rogue42197: That is such a huge compliment. It really isn't that good but so long as people enjoy it and continue to encourage me I'll keep writing. I really do you it for the reviewers so thank you!
j9162: This one is happier I don't think I could write two death ones in a row without someone throwing something at me. You really pay me a lot of compliment but you deserve some credit too. Without people reviewing I would be completely uninspired. Thanks!
Hahhnahh: Hands a copious amount of tissues. Please feel better. This one is happier.
Samian: As usual I thank you for taking the time to review my story. Look forward to more of your messages.
Chaos Dragon: Well who can argue with that logic. I'm glad you liked it.
YJ: I'm sorry for writing it but my mood just dictated the story. I'm glad you're happy I got tumblr...now I just need to master it. Sighs. Thanks for the review!
My Own Mayday Parade: I'm glad you think the ending was perfect. To be honest my ideas just come from everyday life - so I'm sure you could come up with your own perfect ending. You really pay me too many compliments. Thank you for the review! I also messed up the title in my last message to you in chapter 9 the actual title of the story is Bon Hiver. My apologies.
ShipperBody: I'm glad I'm forgiven. I'm so sorry my fic affected you so badly this chapter should make you feel better. I hope... I hope you're okay. Thank you for the review.
Keepmovingforward2: Thanks for the review!
randommonkeyz998: The previous ending may have been sad sweet but this one should be just sweet.
SpitfireChick: Gets out racket, let not the feelings attack you a less angsty chapter has arrived. Thank you for the review!
PikaGirl-AAML: Don't be heart broken. Please feel better after this chapter.
IronicVeghead: This one is happy. Hands you a large amount of tissues. I promise. Happy! Thanks for the review.
ColossalRay: Hands a tissue. Don't cry this one will make you feel better. Thanks for reviewing.
Irenerb: Thanks for the review!
Thanks to silent reviewers.
Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.
Warning: I am not a poet. No seriously. Please do not judge me harshly for a skill I do not possess.
Keeping Your Words In My Heart
Wally stared at his creative writing assignment and strongly resisted the urge to bang his head against the table. Why was he taking Vietnamese studies again? He'd barely mastered English and he was trying to learn a completely different language. Oh yeah, it was because he was in love. In love with Artemis the vivacious, snarky, beautiful – just plain awe-inspiring – archer. But maybe love wasn't a strong enough word anymore. Wally sighed why couldn't they simply give him exercise sheets, essays were already a huge pain, but creative writing he might as well have been studying hieroglyphics.
"You look like someone took your ice cream away," laughed a voice behind him as two arms circled around his neck and Artemis looked over his shoulder at the blank piece of paper before him. "You're still working on that?"
"Hey not all of us are fluent here." Artemis just rolled her eyes.
"You're just not very creative."
"I'm plenty creative it was my always my plans that usually saved the day."
"Whatever you say."
He pouted, "You are not instilling alot of confidence, babe."
"I just came out here to tell you I was lonely," she purred against his ear, "That's all." Wally swallowed thickly at the insinuation as he desperately tried to squash the feelings that were building in his stomach at her velvety words. He needed to finish this assignment.
"You're evil."
"Maybe," she hummed, "You want to find out how much?"
"But, but my paper," whimpered Wally looking between the blank sheet and a scantily clad Artemis. Really, why did she have an aversion to wearing pajama pants?
"No worries Wall-man," chuckled Artemis, "Another time I guess." Now Wally really wanted to bang his head on the table. Only Artemis would deign to dangle something so tantalizing in front of him when he was trying to act responsible.
"You know," he stated pushing his chair back from the table and pulling Artemis by the wrist in front of him. His homework was easily shoved aside. Forgotten. Amused she sat on the table expectantly her feet dangling between his knees, "It's due in two days it can wait."
"Wait?" she murmured seductively lips curling into a smirk and eyes sparkling with mischievous intent.
"Yeah wait." He stood up planting both hands on either side of her body before trailing his fingers over to her thighs drawing indiscernible patterns on the exposed skin. Artemis just arced an eyebrow at him the same small little smile settling on her face – not really needing words – they both knew where this was going.
One of her hands reached out and her fingers traced a line from his abdomen up to his face before the hand ran through his hair tugging him forward to join their lips. They soon pulled apart lazily both used to this little game they danced. Wally absentmindedly thought it was funny how much both he and Artemis had changed over the course of their relationship. He'd done the one thing he'd sworn he'd never do – quit the hero business. She'd opened up to him. Laid everything on the line. Even though she was terrified he'd hate her for the crimes she'd committed. To be honest he loved her more for them. For the fact that despite everything she was still irrevocably her.
There was a beat between them where they both simply stared into each other's eyes before Wally leaned forward to kiss her again; hands inching even higher, skirting just beneath the hem of her shirt.
"Mmmmm, Wally," she sighed contentedly, "What about your assignment?" Her legs crossed behind his back pulling them both closer together as her heels dug into his buttocks.
"Be my inspiration." It was only on very rare occasions that Wally managed to make his girlfriend blush. But at his words her entire body flushed a subtle rosy hue, her cheeks especially were painted a deep red.
"Could you be any more corny?"
"If I recall that's one of the numerous things you love about me."
"Bedroom," she muttered distractedly all too aware he'd managed to slip his hand under her shirt. The reverberations of his fingers already causing her toes to curl against the fabric of his thermal shirt. "Now." Wally, of course, was more than happy to oblige.
It was one of those nights.
When Wally had nightmares he didn't thrash and turn in his sleep, he didn't wake up screaming or crying he merely awoke out of breath and covered in a cold sweat before he frantically turned towards the other occupant of the bed desperately hopping to dispel the horrific images from his mindscape. Wally inhaled deeply through his nose when he saw, that yes, Artemis was in bed beside him and, no, she had not been ripped from his life by the uncaring, brilliant beam of an alien ship.
Even after all this time he still couldn't evade the exercise – it still haunted him in his dreams. It was a subconscious reminder of what he had almost lost all those years ago when his heart had acknowledged what his mind had refused to believe that Artemis was more than a teammate. More than a friend. Just more. Wally groaned not feeling sleep readily returning the terrible moment continuing to replay in his mind.
On these nights he'd look at Artemis. He'd concentrate on her face – memorizing every crevice and nook burning her picture into his eyes when she was peaceful and untouched by the harshness of reality. Sometimes Wally's gaze would wake her and her smoldering, mysterious stormy eyes would open in the darkness, her hands sliding up to cup his face and draw him close so she could kiss him and whisper huskily, "Go back to sleep Wally." And on those nights when she didn't wake, like that night for instance, he would run his hand with feather light touches along her wrist to feel her pulse thrumming beneath her warm skin every beat a reminder he had one more second with her.
It was at that moment, balanced between sleep and peacefulness, that Wally sat bolt upright in bed. Mind traveling at an unbearable speed. It was stupid. So, so stupid. He'd never been good at touchy feely stuff and he very rarely, if ever, honestly talked about his feelings. But as he threw off the covers, careful not to wake the slumbering Artemis, and threw on his discarded clothes from the previous night he could already hear the disjointed words forming in his head and by the time he had made it to the kitchen table he had already mentally finished his creative writing assignment. Now he just needed to find an appropriate translation.
Wally stared at the 'A' written on his paper dumbfounded as Professor Tang enthusiastically clapped him on the back.
"Well done Mr. West. I see you're finally starting to take this class seriously." Wally didn't have the heart to correct him about how he preferred to be called by his first name. In fact he barely registered the praise he was receiving for his heartfelt, moving piece of literature. Instead he felt a lead weight forming and sinking in his stomach as the words he had written in the wee hours of morning danced in front of his eyes. It was sickening. Artemis's death had been labeled with an 'A' as if it was somehow a blessing. As if something good could ever come from something so horrible. Wally pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. What the hell had he done?
"Mr. West are you alright?" asked his professor worriedly, "I was going to ask if you would like to publish your piece in the school's magazine?"
"No!" Wally blurted out loud, louder than he intended, before adamantly restating it. "No."
"No to what?" asked a voice behind him and Wally's shoulders tensed as Artemis approached the pair.
"I was just commending Mr. West on his excellent submission," supplied Tang, "Ms. Crock you have a very gifted companion." Artemis sent him a confused look. He hadn't shown it to Artemis. In fact, he was never showing it to Artemis. Artemis was to remain blissfully unaware of this entire thing. First, because it was just embarrassing. It would be like the first few months of their relationship all over again – stumbling hands and sloppy kisses complete with an unabridged deflation of his self-esteem. Artemis did not ever need to know that he liked (loved) her months before either of them confessed. She would never let him live it down. Second, he felt like he was profiting from her simulated death. He didn't deserve that 'A' he deserved to be kicked in the head. Why had he written this? Why! He hastily stuffed the paper into his pocket hoping it would help erase the big fat weight of anger and bitterness that had now landed on his shoulders.
"Gifted?" There was definitely a lilt of disbelief lingering just beneath Artemis's voice. Gently placing his hand on her lower back he steered her away from the professor jabbering quickly,
"Yup, babe, you've known that forever though. Let's go home." He gave Tang a fleeting a wave before quickly making a beeline out the door with Artemis in tow.
"What was that all about?" asked Artemis skeptically.
"Nothing," he lied breezily, "I guess I finally managed to master this whole Vietnamese thing." Artemis did not look convinced. Probably because he had yet to even say 'hello' correctly to her after she had spent tireless nights trying to help him through his pronunciation.
"When did you even finish your assignment?" she asked him skeptically.
"Oh you know before the due date." Artemis just continued to eye him warily knowledgeable enough to know that this was something Wally wasn't going to simply reveal to her. "So babe I've been thinking?"
"That sounds dangerous." Wally just rolled his eyes.
"Anyways I was thinking – you, me, dinner?"
"Something on your mind?" asked Artemis looking at him seriously now, "You're usually not the romantic one." Well that was a rookie mistake, thought Wally, Being romantic is a dead giveaway something's up.
"Nope just want to celebrate the final assignment of Vietnamese Lit being over. I mean no exam right? That truly is something to celebrate."
"I guess."
"There's no guess," said Wally sagely, "It's fact." By now they were a safe enough distance away from campus that he could pick her up and race her all the way back to their home. That was one of the things he loved about Artemis – for her he'd never be too slow. He'd never have to worry about trying to keep up or being lapped or, heck, being called Speedy or half the time being forgotten by 80% of the population. Nope Artemis would always be his number one fan – even if she didn't tell him till they had been dating for three years.
He felt Artemis's arms snake around his neck as he ran her lips pressing against his collar. He smiled a bit picking up his pace. The poem still weighed heavy on his mind but this was nice. Artemis was alive. She was here. With him. There was no reason for him to worry anymore. He'd get rid of the poem and never think about it again. Which is exactly what he did once they had arrived back at the apartment and Artemis had gone to change in their room. He'd tossed the crumpled piece of paper into the garbage can beneath the sink and was about to walk toward their bedroom for some pre-dinner dessert when his cellphone rang.
"Dick this had better be good. Like end of the world good." He snapped into the phone less than thrilled with the interruption.
"Actually..."
"I set myself up for that one didn't I?" Wally was pretty sure he could envision his best friend's infuriating smirk on the other end of the phone.
"We need a favor from both you and Artemis. We've identified some more possible bases for the Kroloteans and we need experienced people to help take them down."
"Yeah, ha ha, tell me another one."
"Wally I'm serious here. I need your help. The newbies aren't experienced enough. I need all hands on deck." A small smile tugged at Wally's lips when he remembered another instance where he had been merely a sixteen-year-old teen running through a blizzard because of that same line.
"You're starting to sound like him."
"You're hilarious." Dick deadpanned.
"Artemis isn't coming."
Nightwing sighed on the other end of the phone, "Wally, you didn't even ask her."
"Not happening." There was a pregnant pause on the other end of the line.
"Just be here in five. Best friend's request."
Wally groaned pressing the end call button and glaring bitterly at the phone.
"We're not going out, are we?" asked Artemis casually leaning on the doorframe. Wally had to overcome the urge to just ditch his friend and skip dinner when he saw Artemis in a very tasteful, yet form fitting, black one piece that literally made him drool.
Shaking his head and secretly wishing for a way out of the bro code Wally sighed, "Sorry babe."
"Your blanket and pillow will be on the couch tonight." She felt the fleeting moisture of his lips on her cheek and a whisper of, "Love you too." As he zipped out the door. Feeling dejected and utterly disappointed Artemis puttered towards the kitchen to cook something for dinner and maybe something for Wally – if she was in the mood.
"Buster! Stop! Don't eat the garbage!" cried Artemis exasperated as she saw that their dog's head was now scrounging around in the garbage can. Wally had left the cupboard door open. Again. The dog backed away guiltily but his quick retreat caused the can to topple spilling its contents across the floor. If Wally thought she was joking about the couch comment he was most certainly going to be surprised.
Grumbling angrily Artemis knelt and began to pick up the miscellaneous articles and put them back in the can when a crinkled, wrinkled sheet of lined paper caught her eye. She might have ignored it and placed it back in the can but she knew Wally wrote his assignments on that type of paper and she could faintly see a letter grade scrawled at the top of the sheet.
Gently pulling the crushed assignment apart and smoothing out the corners Artemis clearly saw the 'A' scrawled across the top of Wally's Vietnamese creative writing assignment, "He got an 'A.' No wonder he wanted to celebrate but why didn't he just tell me." Shaking her head at Wally's childishness she sat down at the table and began scanning Wally's assignment which loosely translated read:
Torn away within the snow
There was so much that you didn't know
So much that I didn't tell
My heart had only just begun to swell
Your existence like a fleeting flame
Gone upon that snowy plain
Those icy stares and cold, cold hands
Never to return again
I cry your name to empty skies
I'm in denial and I lie
Consumed by guilt and left behind
How cruel fate is to those who are kind
It hurts more than words can say
Why didn't you run away?
Why didn't I run for you?
Why did it end so soon?
My screams dying in the wind
Unshed tears just begin
Tiny droplets freeze to skin
The battle holds no purpose more to win
Unanswered questions never to be solved
Everyone tells me to move on
In that moment all was lost
When upon the wind your ashes tossed
Propelled forward by reckless hope
To fleeting lies I cling like rope
Till it all comes crashing down
and you're lost to me again
With you gone I finally know how much you meant to me
All the things I never said,
All the things I didn't mean,
All the things I wanted to take back,
All the things I meant to say.
Yet here alone I stay
But I'd give it all away
Just to have you back for one more day
Because I love you anyway
Artemis stared at the poem. Eyes wide mouth agape and dry – so, so dry as she reread the words written in the neatest cursive Wally had ever managed to produce. Then she felt them. Her own tears prickling at the corner of her eyes with annoying persistence.
"You are not going to cry," she chastised herself all of sudden feeling like her body was being ripped apart molecule by molecule again out on that cold tundra. Feeling that searing sense of weightlessness before the nothing and the dark. "You are not going to cry." But her words are fruitless and she's already wheezing and her eyes are stinging with unshed tears and then they're just pouring out of her. After the exercise not once had she cried, not once had she ever let her mind wander to that horrible apocalyptic world. She had blotted it out steadfastly refusing to ever mention it again in her dreams or otherwise. Those terrors were meant to stay buried. But now, now that stupid idiot was drawing all these stupid emotions out of her. Why did he have to do this to her?
She was still crying an hour later when Wally got home.
"Artemis! What happened!" Artemis furiously wiped at her eyes before shoving his assignment into his chest.
"That's what happened," she cursed angrily, "Wally why didn't you tell me you felt like this before? How long have you been carrying this emotional baggage around for?"
"That's none of your business."
"Of course it's my business Wally! You just pretty much wrote a soliloquy about your undying love for me at fifteen years old."
"You don't understand. You died," he eked out his jaw clenching he never wanted to have this conversation. Ever. "Do you have any idea how sucky that was? Just the whole thing overall. And do you want to know the worst part, Artemis? It's still possible. There still might be a day when you're ripped from my life and I won't be able to stop it!"
"Wally that isn't going to happen."
"Oh yeah? Have you even been paying attention when M'gann or Nightwing or even Zatanna visit? Aliens are invading and the big guns are off world. I just spent the better part of tonight taking down one of those alien bases that no one thought existed. The simulation is reality!"
"Wally..."
"People keep telling me we need to come back. They tell me we should come back." Artemis was still crying as she looked at Wally's shaking and slumped shoulders, "But there's no way in hell you're going back."
"You don't get to make that decision for me," she responded icily before getting back to the matter at hand. "We can talk about heroing later. I cannot believe you hid this emotional trauma from me."
"What! Are you seriously angry at me because I didn't fall to my knees after the exercise thanking Batman that it was all a simulation."
"I'm not angry about that. I meant think about all the time we both wasted. I was jealous over M'gann for nothing."
"You were jealous?" Artemis's eyes widened at Wally's question. Honestly, was her body trying to flood their apartment. She wouldn't stop crying.
"You're right this is stupid." She stood up from the couch intent on storming into their bedroom but Wally sped in front of her placing his hands on her wrists.
"Woah there, hold your horses. You were jealous of M'gann." The excitement present in Wally's voice did nothing to improve Artemis's mood.
"Drop it Wally."
"Please Artemis," Wally slid his hands up to cup her cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the brine that were spilling from her eyes. "I don't want to be angry anymore or sad. The nightmares don't matter so long as I have you."
Artemis let out a breath and blinked, "You were just always fawning over M'gann. I thought I was the second choice. But," she said slyly looking at him, "I guess you liked me a lot more than you let on."
"Hey, I tolerated you," Wally muttered going slightly pink, "I write one measly poem and now you think I was some sort of lovesick fool." Artemis was smiling through the tears now.
"Which you are." She easily shifted into Vietnamese reciting the final stanza of his poem, "Yet here alone I stay, but I'd give it all away. Just to have you back for one more day because I love you anyway."
"That was an outlet," muttered Wally trying to get the paper out of her hands, "You can't actually take it seriously."
"Oh but I do," murmured Artemis seriously, "and I think it's very sweet. Creepy, disturbing, and very late but still sweet."
Wally blinked, "You do?"
"I do."
"She does," he said to no one in particular the double meaning of the words not lost on him. By now Artemis had stopped crying and was gently pulling him forward toward their bedroom. Later when Artemis was gently tucked against his body and she was smiling and pretty and he was happy and sated.
Wally looked back on the words he had written and mused, "Maybe I should write poetry more often. Who knew it would have this kind of effect on you." Artemis merely kissed his chest right above his beating heart – fluttering and feather light.
Artemis did keep the poem. In fact, she got it framed. The crinkled edges and letters forever enclosed behind glass. It always had a prominent place on the wall so that after a particularly grueling mission Wally would look at the words and be reminded it hadn't actually happened. That they were both still here.
He committed those words to memory so that when he walked into the nursery and saw Artemis sitting patiently in the rocking chair beside the crib singing to their child he could walk over and whisper the poem in her ear until she started reciting it too.