Aerowena and Cullen Chapter 10 - Awkward and Cringy

Cullen was practicing swords once again. Today was two handed swords, tomorrow would be two handed axes and the next day he'd go soak in the nearest lake of ice. Those damnable robes with sheer skirts and necklines down to her navel were no end of distraction. Then she looked at him as if she could swallow him whole. She walked by smelling of roses or wild flowers. Sometimes she licked honey from her fingers not two stances from him. She was driving him insane. He couldn't even look at her these days without going instantly hard and thinking of crushing her against the stone with his body.

The nights were worse. She came to him in dreams with honey caked lips and the scent of flowers and sex. Always she smelled of raw sex, musty and sensual. He woke up drenched in sweat and shame. He sometimes forgot he wasn't a Templar and his vows no longer held. "Vows', he scoffed "As if those had made a difference." He drew his sword down hard on the practice dummy with a satisfying grunt.

He practiced for hours, until his body was slick and wet under the leather tunic. His body ached but at least he wasn't hard.

And then she walked into the practice yard.

He almost groaned aloud, but instead turned to leave.

He needed a long cold bath; preferably one where the ice water was dumped on his head.

"Cullen" and he couldn't pretend to not hear her when she was right behind him. He pasted a blank look on his face and turned around; and was nearly undone.

"I…um…here" she thrust something at him.

She was wearing the oddest leather tunic and no makeup whatsoever. It caught him completely off guard. He was prepared for her flirting and shameless innuendo, but then she tilted that damnable head and he forgot all about being prepared.

He looked down at what was in his hands. A rose, with thorns – 'ow'. He sucked his bleeding thumb.

Was she talking to herself?

"Damn what had he said…something about beautiful and the darkspawn" She was mumbling to herself while tapping and staring at her foot. "It's um, a rose, not weaponry or for flower scents or arranging, or anything like that. It's just the winter, you know, and roses die...and the rose...you see...because you're so handsome."

What was she on about? Mad as a loon, she was. "Um. Thank you?" He wasn't sure what to say to this Aerowena. She was always so damn sure of herself but she looked terribly helpless at the moment.

He didn't want to kick her while she was so obviously down and awkward, but he'd walked this path and it only led to pain. "It's very nice", he said, but what he really meant to say was that he couldn't accept it, but the words stuck in his throat.

Damn the woman!

Because you're handsome and roses die!? Aerowena was mortified. She felt like smacking herself with the business end of the sword. That wasn't at all what Alistair had said that made her stomach go pitter patter. He was just a friend but those words were so sweet she nearly… ok she nearly giggled, but at the same time it felt wonderful. She'd meant to make Cullen feel like that. Instead she gave him a rose with thorns, which he pricked his finger on, of course. And of course she'd lose her train of thought. And now she'd stood here for a good minute in silence while he stared at her as if she'd sprouted two horns, shook a sword in the air and growled like a Glenlock.

"Yes, well, I thought you should know that." And she turned and stalked off.

Aerowena would not leave her room.

She wouldn't leave when Baby whined and cajoled her. She wasn't moved by Leli's encouraging words. She wasn't about to move when Zev tried to reason that since they were all good friends a night in bed would only "improve her mood". Only the resounding door opening, as if by magic, and a threat to burn off his hair, got him to leave. "And people think I'm vain" she retorted to the closing door. 'A little hair burning and you turn tail!' she muttered to no one.

Just before dinner Leli came in to the room at full bore. "You're not going to mope about this room. You will get dressed and…and find a way to speak to him."

"Leave me be, Leli. Can't a girl pout and wallow in peace anymore?"

"Yes you can wallow later, now you must make me laugh again. I cannot wait to hear what you say next. Shall you speak more of roses and death? " Leli was laughing uproariously at Aerowena's scowl. "Dinner is the perfect time to talk to him, he's cannot ignore you if you sit across from him."

"I shant turn you to stone today, Leli, but you're coming awfully close to becoming a statue in my room. You are quite beautiful and I think I would enjoy waking up to your stone form!"

Leliana only smiled. "I think the blue velvet gown with the silver threads is the one. It makes your hair appear almost like moonlight"

"Now see, why can't I say things like that?" Aerowena mumbled. "Hair like moonlight."

"Sit down while I brush your hair." Leliana rubbed scent on her hands and then through the brush before applying it to Aerowena's hair. "You do not like romance, or at least you think you do not like it. You cannot tell me that you did not enjoy when Alistair fancied himself in love with you. You smiled, I saw you."

Aerowena scowled and pursed her lips. "I suppose it was sweet. But he was Alistair, it was difficult to take it all seriously. Until he met his sister he was like a little boy. You can't take what a little boy tells you seriously, even if you enjoy hearing it."

"Yes, but you miss my point. Do you think men are so different? A man is no different than you. I know you, you wish to be seen as more than beautiful, but you use your beauty to get close to him. It has worked before, but it will not work completely on this one. Do you understand?"

"No, because you say this as you brush my hair and package me in blue velvet to resemble the moonlight!" Aerowena got up and shrugged into her gown.

Sighing Leliana helped her with her eye shadow and lip paint. "This man, he is the one from the tower no? He is special, then. You must look beautiful, but you must also woo him. For now, he sees only your beauty and how you wield it as a weapon against him. He will not allow himself to be seduced again unless he believes you love him. You must be his friend and his lover."

"Can't I just open my robe and smile?" Aerowena asked hopefully.

"No." Leli said laughing, "But you're always welcome to do so with me."

"Just as lecherous as your paramour" Aerowena swatted Leli on her very tempting behind. "OK dinnertime, off to make another ass of myself."

She felt ready to cry out of frustration and that only served to make her more frustrated. 'What's the matter with me lately? I've been a weepy, simpering, sot for months now. Oh look a flower blooming, sob. Oh is that a snowflake, sob. If I continue down this vein even I couldn't fall in love with me.' Aerowena huffed out of the chamber and headed to the dining tables.