Chapter 9: Grimace

Jack noticed her reaction, and was taken aback by the glow in her eyes. "What is it, Josie? Are you all right?"

Josephine had been knocked into a trance of deep reverie. Could this man possibly be her father? Sure, they shared the same hair color, but many men have that dirty-blond pigment... Still, he clearly stated that he was a lover of Rose's. It must've meant something big for both of them since Jack had seemed lost until Rose had appeared, and how Rose had blanched, cried, and yelled at Josephine for mentioning a Jack Dawson. Overall, she must've been the outcome of their previous love affair.

She looked at him, questioning his personality and appearance. Besides my hair color, what else do I share with him in looks? What about his personality? I barely know him! She cocked her head in that special way of hers again. Softening up, she asked him curiously, "Can you be my father?"

Jack was confused by her question. From the way she said it and looked at him, it had two meanings: if he was her biological father, or if he would act like a father towards her. He decided to answer both. "I honestly don't know, Josie. But I will be your father if you want me to be."

Josephine smiled so wide, it was contagious. She wrapped her arms around Jack's waist, hugging him close, happiness spreading throughout her whole body. Her world was complete: she finally had a father!

Jack was, at first, startled by Josephine's embrace. Tears almost sprang to his eyes if it weren't for his years of training; he hadn't been hugged like that since... Well, since Rose was around more than seventeen years back. He embraced her back with just as much passion, his heart swelling with fatherly affection towards this young girl.

She then kissed him on the cheek and said, "Good night, Jack!" She dashed away with a smile on her face, and disappeared in the guest bedroom where Rose had went into a few minutes ago.

Jack was left standing there, making the kiss on his cheek linger. To him, that moment meant the world to him: his possible daughter showing him affection after all these years of him being alone, fragile, yet made of stone.

When the ship docks, I'm getting off with you.

This is crazy.

I know. It doesn't make any sense. That's why I trust it.

Jack smiled at the memory.

For both Josephine and Jack – one not knowing about the other, the other looking for the one – they had pushed past the obvious answers and analyzed the impossible ones. Of course Jack was Josephine's father; they just couldn't admit it.

...

Josephine found Rose sprawled across the bed, still in her bathrobe. As she walked closer, she saw tear stains on her cheeks.

Josephine sighed. Her poor mother had been through so much trauma lately, and now she had cried herself to sleep! She knelt down and kissed her mother gently on the cheek, remembering how she had done the same for her when she was younger.

And this is for keeping away the bad dreams, she would say.

But I honestly know that the angels will keep you safe, she would add.

Josephine held tears back her eyes. She had cried enough today. She was now getting overwhelmed by thoughts of the past, when the future is what really mattered. Yet, when she began to unpack their belongings, she felt like something had changed inside her mother, inside her soul. It was as though she no longer was the loving, gentle, caring person Josephine had known growing up. It was as though...

No! Josephine shook her head and refused to think such things. Her mother still loved her, didn't she? Of course Josephine had seen the look on her mother's face when she called her by her first name; that meant she cared.

Once she had banished such thoughts from her mind and finished unpacking, she felt as though something was missing. Shrugging that off, Josephine noticed that Rose had left a simple, white nightgown on the soft chair in the corner. She glanced at Rose, who showed no signs of waking soon, and decided to put it on for herself. After all, she no longer wanted to be wearing these old rags she called stylish.

The gown was cool and comfortable, but a little big. To Josephine, though, it was everything she'd dreamed for! Something clean, nice, and chic. She felt content just wearing it.

Sighing happily, she crawled into bed next to Rose and turned off the lamp light. I wonder what's in store for us tomorrow... she thought as sleep overtook her.

...

Meanwhile, Cal was enjoying a hot beverage while staring out the window, still in his day clothes. The things he had learned that late morning had left him awake and sleepless. He thought about Rose, her illness, and something else he forgot entirely.

Eleanor appeared at the doorway in her nightgown. She was clearly exhausted, but still huffed over her husband's anxious thoughts. "Cal, darling," she drawled, her eyes drooping. "Please do come to bed. It's late and tomorrow you have a busy day."

She came up behind him and put her arms around his shoulders. He didn't respond. "You have time to worry about this some other time. For right now, get some rest. Remember your speech tomorrow? You'll be quite busy."

Cal sighed and nodded, remembering quite well the next couple, busy weeks. "She has it, Eleanor."

Eleanor unwrapped her arms and stared at him, confused. "Has what, darling? If this is about the—"

He interrupted her, his lip twitching. He clearly didn't want to hear it. "Not that, my dear." His tired, wrinkled forehead was taut. "The diamond."

…

The next morning, Josephine woke up to the smell of freshly roasted coffee and the fragrance of roses. Yawning, she stretched her arms and looked around the room. Rose was no longer next to her. The vanity had been used; a brush with red hairs stuck in the bristles lay on the table, and dresser drawers had been thrown open. Josephine wondered: what could they possibly have that made Rose tear apart the room like this?

Walking towards the door, she was just about to turn the knob when she heard... Was that laughing? She put her ear to the door and listened.

It was Rose's laughter, something she knew very well because she rarely heard it. She then heard her voice say, "Oh, Jack, you really didn't have to."

"Just take them as a welcome back gift."

"And what about you? I should welcome you back, shouldn't I?"

"No need to... You're here, and that's enough for me."

Rose's laugh again. When they both had quieted down, she heard Jack say, "So, tell me about Josie."

"Josie?" Josephine replayed this one word in her mind, and no doubt it was Rose's voice that had said it. Hurt spread across her heart: did her own mother really just say that?

There was silence. Neither said anything. Finally, Jack said, "Yes, Josephine. I call her Josie, and she told me you used to call her that when she was little."

More silence. The smell of the coffee made Josephine's mouth water, but she couldn't break the conversation just yet.

"Well, she was born on January fifteenth of 1913. She's my biological daughter." Rose stopped there for a second. "Why do you want to know?"

There was a pause, and in Josephine's mind she pictured a moment of hesitation. "Well, we're going to be a family now, right?"

Josephine couldn't bear to hear anymore. This was not her mother! Never had she heard her mother talk as she did now, nor say it in such a passion. That's when she noticed the silence.

There was no reply to Jack's comment. Minutes ticked by. Josephine began to worry, and wondered what was going on in there. She was going to open the door, when she heard a crash, but no voices. Then came the sound of the Rose she did know, a trembling voice that said, "I've changed, Jack."

There came Jack's soothing, pacifying voice saying, "I love you no matter what, Rose. Remember what I said that night? I said that all of this was crazy, and you agreed and said that that's why you trusted it."

Josephine made up a scenario in her head. She pictured Rose crying, backing away slowly from Jack, when his hand goes for her cheek and he cradles her with his words. They stare into each other's eyes longingly, remembering their burning passion for one another, then Rose would say-

"There is no future for us, Jack. I'm sorry, but... my life is with Josephine now."

Josephine was stunned. Did Rose really just say that? Was she really her life? She definitely didn't feel like it was! Before she could move away from the door, she felt a startling pain run up her forehead and make her eyes blur. "Oh, Josephine!" came her mother's voice, and she felt a smooth hand rub her forehead gently. The other went through her hair.

Josephine didn't notice the tears until she saw Rose's expression. It was plastered with hurt, longing, love, and anger. She fell into her mother's awaiting arms, and cried out tears until she felt her arms being pushed away. Rose had gotten up and taken Josephine forcefully by the hand, annoyance flashing in her breath-taking green eyes.

"What did I tell you about eavesdropping?" she said, giving Josephine's palm a painful squeeze. She flinched but showed no reaction to her mother's outburst. "Why do you have to be such a curious child?" She began to cry again. "Why did you ever have to bring him back into my life?" She turned away so quickly, Josephine stumbled when her mother's hand let go of her hers. She rubbed it gently to take away the pain the nail marks left after digging into her skin.

Steadying herself, Josephine's lips went straight and her expression monotone. "I did it for you, Rose," she said. "I brought him back because I thought you needed someone to warm that cold heart of yours!"

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut, locking herself in the bathroom without replying to Jack's words. "What's going on, Josephine?"

She locked herself in the bathroom and refused to come out for two hours. The first time Jack became concerned, he knocked tenderly on the door and said, "Are you okay in there, Josie?"

Josephine didn't respond.

The next person who came knocking at the door surprised her. It was Rose's voice, and it sounded strangled from guilt. "Josephine, honey, can we please talk?"

But she still didn't open the door, not even after she thought she heard Rose whimper. It took her all her strength to be mad at her, and even though she didn't like it, she didn't want to give herself up and fall back into her mother's arms. No, she was tired of Rose's strange behavior!

While Josephine pouts and holds a grudge, let me give you further detail on what had happened that morning. Rose, for reasons unknown, had thrown the fresh bouquet of rose flowers in a glass vase given to her by Jack on the floor, causing it to break. Apparently, something in Jack's words ("...we're going to be a family, right?") had bothered her, and so she reacted intensely to calm herself. In other words, throwing tantrums helps relieve something irritating your mind, not that it's a good habit to get into. And as Rose did that, something clicked in Jack's head: she was denying emotion. So, that must mean something happened to Rose dramatically that made her like this. But what is that reason? I'll be honest, I cannot read Rose's mind at that moment. It's nearly impossible.

Anyway, let's continue on with our story.

The very last time someone knocked on the bathroom door that day, it had coaxed Josephine out. It was Rose and Jack.

There came a gentle knock on the door. "Josephine, darling?" came Rose's voice. After no response, she heard a murmured, "You try." She listened carefully to each word, her ears piqued. The next words came from Jack. "Listen, Josie, your mother and I want to speak to you, but if you don't want to come out, it's fine. We can talk like this."

Josephine put her ear to the door to listen better, but didn't open her mouth.

"Do you want to start?" she heard Jack whisper. She pictured Rose nodding, because she said, "Josephine, I know I've been hard on you. With the whole not-answering-your-questions thing. The truth is, I want the very best for you, and the things you were asking could affect the way you thought of me or even... yourself."

Josephine made no move to stop them nor speak. She heard Rose sigh, and she said, "Ask me anything and I'll answer truthfully."

Jack and Rose both waited, holding their breaths, for Josephine's reply. There came the sound of a doorknob twisting, and a head poked out of the small crack of the now-open door.

"Promise?"