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Author's Note: Thanks so much to snitch-bewitch, pippapear, BlAcKdAuGhTeR, Harry and Ginny 4eva, DolphinDreamer24-7, ILuvvHP, youna, snaplappl21, CelloguyX, e.jameson, CrazzyD', IhaveaRANDOMsister, prettywheezy, greenbean16, Katie, the-necromancer, tasha27, DeadlyCreative, heart11broken, NJ MacReiley the Helpless Romantic, DanceDiva, Soccer Freak 101, feri, hpotterfan2047, Expectance, Grace Potter Evans, IHeartJamesPotter, letschangetheworld, Miss Sammi Potter, Jennifer, shetlandlace, Amanda, oldestof3, blackthestral, searchingforstories, Sarah, siriusforeva, LBJ equals life, voldie90, ahoyhoy, AnitaPotter, mika-pali, redglasses, mansts, enchanted-legend, callie258, gitgit, Haven Linn, buttonbit, Nephila, An Aspiring Author, xSecretEvansx, theialyn, TaylorxxSue, dracosbabygrl, dotheycJesusinme, Blue-Eyed Chica, Miss. Broadway, uknowuluv me, flowerypetal, and holabitches100 for reviewing! You guys are awesome!
Sorry about the delay in updating, I know, it's highly unusual for me not to update for over a week! But, in my defense, I recently moved to a new house, so I haven't actually had the time to sit down and write until now. So, without further ado, here's chapter 10 and I hope you all enjoy it!
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Death Eater Among the Ministry
Six months ago, five supporters of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named escaped from the Ministry's grasp. It was reported as a blunder of Auror Troy Remington, 42. However, what if it was not an accident? It has recently been discovered that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has indeed infiltrated the Ministry of Magic, recruiting Ministry employees to join Him in His task to rid the world of Muggles of Muggle-born wizards.
Ex-Auror Remington has been accused of these charges and has been sent to Azkaban awaiting his trial. Head Auror, Bartemius Crouch exclusively told the Daily Prophet, "The escape of those five Death Eaters six months ago will be reinvestigated at once, as well as all cases that Remington was assigned to. The Ministry plans to do a thorough investigation on Remington and all known associates. I, personally, will not rest until all mistakes are fixed."
When asked if he became suspicious of Remington after the incident six months ago, Crouch answered, "No comment." So how did Remington's very secret life become known to all? It certainly wasn't the Ministry's poor efforts to investigate the truth behind Remington's many slip-ups. Instead, it was from a local hero, James Potter, 22.
Potter, former Head Boy and son of the deceased Geraldine and Paul Potter (both of whom held high Ministry positions), informed the Ministry of Remington's dark activities. According to Potter, "I was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or, you know, you could say the right time at the right place rather. I saw Remington attack a Muggle and laugh about it. I couldn't just sit and watch so I confronted him on the issue." That brave move could have cost Potter his life. Remington, forgetting about the Muggle, attacked Potter at once. Potter doesn't recall all of the evening's events, although clearly does remember Remington using the Cruciatus Curse on him. The results of their duel landed Potter in St. Mungo's with severe burns, broken bones, and amnesia. Potter was attacked for a second time, the day he was released from St. Mungo's. It has not been confirmed, but it is assumed that Remington attacked Potter again, not wanting his secret to escape Potter's lips. However, Remington was once again unsuccessful as Potter's friend, Sirius Black, 22, heard a strange noise and hurried into the room before Remington could finish his task.
The attack put Potter back in St. Mungo's, although he did not suffer from any serious trauma. In fact, that very day Potter's memory returned and he rushed to the Ministry of Magic to share his findings. Crouch informed the Daily Prophet, "We couldn't have done it without James Potter." Potter was given the Order of Merlin, Third Class for his discovery of Remington's secret lifestyle.
James sighed as he reread the article in the Daily Prophet. It was almost entirely accurate; the only false information published had been how James had discovered Remington. The truth was that he had been trailing Remington for nearly a month prior to the incident, for the Order. Otherwise, it reported the truth. It told the story of how James had landed in St. Mungo's for a week.
He sighed again, not wanting to look at the paper any longer. On the very front, there was a picture of Remington at Azkaban, looking miserable. James shoved the paper into the trash as he walked into the kitchen. He went to the fridge and grabbed a firewhiskey. He popped it open and took a large gulp, feeling better already.
Once again, James found himself alone at home. His boss had insisted that James have the remainder of the week off, despite James's efforts at informing him that he was perfectly okay. Of course, his best friends all had work as well. This just left James, alone at home with his copy of the Daily Prophet. It was as if he was back at St. Mungo's!
No, James told himself, he was definitely not back at St. Mungo's. Truth be told, he had never been completely alone at St. Mungo's. Sure, there were times when he had been by himself and bored, but it was still different. At St. Mungo's, he always knew she would come see him, he could always count on her.
He shut his eyes, wanting to block it all out. He didn't want to think about Lily anymore. Sirius had been right all along; James should have never gotten close with her again. It was too painful. She had hurt him too much in the past. She had left him standing there, looking like a fool as he waited and waited, insisting that she would come. But she never did. Lily had left him standing at the alter; she had left him there all alone.
James took another gulp of his firewhiskey. He had spent months trying to forget about her and all the pain she had caused him. But now, now all he could see when he shut his eyes was her smiling face. He could only see her bright green eyes as they danced with amusement. He could only see the sorrow on her face as she changed his bandages and water swelling in her eyes as she took in the worst of his burns.
"When you get your memory back, please come see me again," she had asked him before hugging him goodbye.
Ha. Fat chance of that happening anytime soon. She had hurt him so much, he would gladly take those burns back than be hurt by her again. Go back and see her, yeah right. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that. Having her as his Healer was a mistake; it should have never happened. He should have never even seen her again.
"We really should talk, okay?" she had whispered into his ear. "When you get your memory back. Please, when you get your memory back."
She had sounded so desperate. He could clearly see the tears in her eyes as she spoke, the puffiness forming beneath her eyes. James felt a pang in his stomach and his heart sink. That look on her face, he would never forget it. He had never seen her like that, pleading. It was never something she did if she could help it. But there she had been, practically begging him to come see her.
James took another gulp of his drink as he set off toward his bedroom. He stood in the doorframe and looked at the scene of his second attack. It was exactly how he had left it; the box of Lily's stuff was sprawled across the floor, dropped upon impact. He merely stood there, staring at it.
Finally, James walked into the room and set his firewhiskey on a nearby dresser. He sat down among the clutter and cautiously eyed everything. He picked up the golden snitch that she had given to him for his birthday and read the engraving, "Love, Lily" it had read. Yeah right.
He threw it into the nearby empty box that formerly held all of his "Lily" possessions. James picked up a t-shirt and threw it in as well. It was one of his shirts, but Lily always wore it when she spent the night. Every time he saw it, it reminded him of her. James sighed; it was all such a mess. The letters were all scattered about. He began to collect them, which took a considerable amount of time as there were so many of them. He paused once he reached the one he had opened the other night. There was a small voice inside his head telling him to read it in its entirety. James fingered the letter for a minute, but in the end he shoved it in with the other unopened letters. What was the point in reading it anyway?
Next, James tossed in the broken framed photograph of him and Lily. It was the one he broke the day of what was supposed to be his wedding. He knew that if he had looked closely enough at the knuckles on his right hand, he would see a small bump in which a small piece of glass resided beneath his healed skin.
He reached out and grabbed the next item, a small black box. There was no need to look inside it; James already knew its contents. Inside that box, there were three rings; Lily's engagement ring, his wedding band, and her wedding band. He had had every intention of bringing the three rings back to the jewelry store, but once there, he couldn't do it. He couldn't hand over the three rings. Instead, he put them all into one box, which was supposed to be left and forgotten about.
Knowing he shouldn't do it, James opened the black box. He pulled out the two weddings rings, which had been tied together on a small ribbon. They were both platinum and engraved inside each ring were the letters "L & J." His ring was wider than hers, but otherwise they were the same.
Next, he pulled out Lily's engagement ring. It was also platinum, but held a large diamond surrounded by green emeralds in its center. He smiled softly, remembering the day he bought the ring. It was never his intention to propose to Lily, not yet anyways. But the moment he saw the ring, he knew it was right. He knew it belonged on Lily's finger and knew he would be happy spending the rest of his life with her. So much for that thought though. A month after the wedding date, James had sent Sirius to go pick the ring up, not wanting to look at Lily himself. James didn't know how Lily had reacted to that notion. Sirius had tried to tell him, but James refused to hear it. At the time, he didn't want to hear any of Lily's excuses.
James shoved the ring back into the black box and tossed it in with the rest of Lily's belongings. He got to his feet and grabbed his firewhiskey again, taking one long sip of his drink. Why was he doing this to himself? Why wasn't he using magic to clean up the mess?
He stared at the box on his floor. He knew the answer; he had known the answer the moment he set foot in that room. In fact, he had known the answer to that question the minute he had gotten his memory back.
James stepped forward and sat on the ground again. Then he pulled the stack of letters forward and onto his lap. Picking through them, James found the first one, the one he had almost read two days prior.
J-
I'm so sorry, you have to believe me. Please believe me, I'm sorry. I love you and I always will love you. I never meant to hurt you. Trust me, the very last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.
I don't know what happened there, I guess I just sort of freaked out a bit. I'm sorry and I love you.
-L
He tossed the letter aside and tore open the next.
J-
Are you okay? I know it's only been a day, but you always write back quickly. I'm worried about you. Please write back. We need to talk about what happened. But until then, just know that I love you and I miss you terribly.
-L
He opened several more; they all said the same message. He tore open another, dated ten days after the first letter.
James,
I know you aren't speaking to me and I know I deserve it. I did a terrible thing, the worst anyone could possibly do. I'm so sorry; I really am because I love you so much. You're probably wondering how I could love you so much but not marry you. I know you and you are probably reading this and thinking that very thought. And the answer is that it's just not that simple.
We're only eighteen James, we're still so young. And I'm not too proud to admit that I got scared. Eighteen, it's so young. We're still fresh out of Hogwarts and we haven't even been dating a year! I know those are stupid excuses, but it's how I feel. And don't even think that I don't want to marry you, because I do. When I picture myself in the future, you are always there with me. But all the same, I'm just not ready to be eighteen and married. When you proposed, I was so excited. I couldn't think of anything that could start out my summer better. But then when you said we should marry by the end of the summer, I started get scared. I had pictured a long engagement, one of at least a year, not two months. Then when your parents died, I thought you might want to push the date back a bit. It only made you want to get married sooner though. You were so persistent on September 15th for the date though.
I know I should have expressed my concerns sooner, but I know you and I knew how you would react. You would accuse me of not loving you, which is completely false because James Potter, I am head over heels in love with you. So, I decided that I must just be having pre-wedding jitters. Then, as I stood there in my wedding dress, I just, I broke down James. I got so scared that something bad would happen if we got married too soon. All I could think of was you realizing what a mistake it had been two years from now and leaving me. I know its stupid, but I couldn't take it.
If I could take it all back, I would. You have to believe me, James. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world. I wish I could turn back time and change everything because these ten days away from you have been the worst ten days of my life. I miss you and I love you. Please forgive me, please talk to me.
Yours forever,
Lily
James roughly crumpled up the letter and tossed it near the others. What was she talking about? If she had said something to him, anything, he would have understood. Who did she take him for? He would have listened to what she had to say. He would have postponed the wedding until she felt more comfortable. He hadn't pressured her into anything at all.
If he could remember correctly, and indeed he could, she was the one who had picked out all of the floral arrangements and done all of the preparations. She had been excited about the wedding, just as much as he had been. And his parents' deaths certainly didn't make him want to get married sooner. Sure, they had been a golden couple, similar to he and Lily while at Hogwarts, but their deaths didn't mean he wanted to get married. He wasn't hiding from their deaths by marrying Lily; he wasn't driven to make her his only remaining family. Right?
He shut his eyes and rubbed his temples. He would have listened, right? He could see her face vividly. Two and half years ago she had come to see him after a long shift at St. Mungo's; James could see the exhaustion in her face, she could barely keep her eyes open. She had openly talked to him about the wedding, wondering if now was the right time, especially because she was so busy at the hospital. He had laughed and blew off the topic completely.
There were more times; he knew it. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew it was true. In the ring shop, she had been hesitant to pick out the rings. At the time, James thought she was merely waiting for the perfect ring. Now though, he saw it for what it really was. She had been desperate to push back the wedding. But no, James hadn't listened. He had insisted that they get the simple ring, insisted that they get it at that instant.
James grabbed the remaining letters and read each one, as if they were addicting novels. Finally, he reached the last one, which read:
James,
By now, I know you haven't read a single letter I wrote. But maybe, just maybe, you'll slip up and accidentally open this one. Or perhaps, by chance, you'll keep them for another day. If I'm lucky, you'll save my letters and read them all one day. And on that day, I can only wish you the best of luck in wherever you are in life. I hope you will have achieved everything you ever dreamed of, or are at least on the way to doing so.
Just know that when you do read these letters, whether it be two months, two years, twenty years from now or even when we're old and gray, I will always be here for you. Before you, I thought I had known and lost love. But after two months of being with you, I learned the true meaning of what it meant to love someone and be loved by someone. I have never cared for anyone the way I have cared for you nor can I imagine myself ever loving anyone other than you. I'm sure I'm just being dramatic by writing that and I'm sure you're laughing at me now, but in a way its true. You'll always be my first love and you'll always have a piece of my heart with you wherever you may go.
Don't forget about me and don't forget about the love we shared. Most of all, don't forget that I will never stop loving you.
-Lily
James reread her final letter and felt his heart swell. After spending one week with her, he knew she had meant every word in that letter. He knew that she hadn't treated him like any other patient. After all, she had never stopped loving him.
But the question was, did he ever stop loving her?
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Author's Note 2: Thanks so much for reviewing! We're almost to the end of the story, sad I know, but kind of exciting, right? Anyways, you all know what to do: REVIEW... please?