I dont own South Park, Bewitched Or Miley Cyrus...
If I did my life would be pretty awesome...
Tweek's POV:
OH MY GOD! WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE! I cant deal with Miley Cyrus's antics! And we got her teaching us again in 2 days! I mean Mr Garrison is bad with his views on women but all I can say is the Disney chick just sends feminisim to about 1632... Not to mention she looks like a boy with that haircut... All the guys are completely obsessed with her to the point that I may assume like me she may be a witch... I might not know my real parents or anyone else with this ability i've got but people have wrote about witches since the time of cavemen so I am surely not the only one... All I can say is I have a bit of competition because I know Craig was looking at her... Well no bitch from Hollywood is gonna steal my man...
I mean I sound like Wendy over Stan right now but i cant help it.. Craig might just be another mortal but I care about him... I dont care that he aint got the gift like he is seriously the one for me... And I'm not letting some cheap white trash bitch like Miley freaking Cyrus take him from me... I just feel so insecure and its crazy! It's worse than when Butters' Mom spies on me through my windows! SHE'S WORKING FOR THE FBI! GAH!
"Tweek! Dude I'm speaking to you!" Clyde whined, tapping my arm... I was brought back to the present world out of my thoughts quite rudely but like i've stated, I dont hold it against people.. "Sorry!GAH! I'm just thinking!" I quickly muttered.. Great! I need to slow down and people might actually respect me.. But when your hiding two secrets and you've got an over-active mind its hard to appear completely normal.. "Well what are you thinking about?" Clyde asked, his countless curiosity and enthusiasm once again getting the better of him...
"Clyde why dont you just mind your own fucking business." Craig quickly spat... Wow okay. I dont really need someone being that controlling over my life...
"C-craig it's fine! Chill the fuck out man!" I replied with gritted teeth...
"Seriously Craig? Who got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Clyde giggled, he loved getting on people's nerves he was sort of like the resident Bart Simpson of sorts.
"I've been listening to some white trash from Nashville trying to corrupt the world for 2 hours dude.. I need some peace and quiet." Craig muttered, the disdain clearly present on his otherwise emotionless face.
I wish i had a spell that could cheer him up but hey I aint Jesus.. And Jesus would probably want my sort burned at the stake so i'm rather glad...
"Miley is a real jerk dude.. but dont take it out on Clyde man.. You know how intrigued he is about everything." Token added, He didnt like people taking advantage of Clyde which was nice I guess..
"She has no c- She has no c- She has no class." Jimmy stuttered.. Suddenly Stan and his friends came walking over to our table... Great last thing we need is a huge fight..
"You guys mind if we come and sit here? Miley Cyrus came to the cateteria to try and score Molly and she's freaking everyone out." Kyle quickly mumbled...
"Oh my god! I'll twerk if you guys give me vodka!" Miley yelled from the other end of the room.. She was really making an absoloute show of herself.. Maybe I could cast a spell to turn her into a nice girl? Craig would kill me for using witchcraft but hey ho...
Stan, Kyle, Kenny Cartman and Butters quickly sat down occupying the empty seats... "Damn that bitch is annoying.. I'm gonna chop that annorexic bitch into a million pieces." Cartman growled, He was clearly in his evil genius mode which meant hell for the rest of us.
"Dude she's wearing a god damn bikini and it's like 45 degrees outside.." Stan facepalmed, Kyle clearly shared his disdain for the popstar's antics...
Then all of a sudden a man clad in the suit came into the cafeteria, his slick style represented he was at least 250 miles away from this nowhere town...
"Miley! My wife left me because of what you did you crazy bitch!" He yelled, stomping over to her like his feet were on fire...
"Robin Oh my god! It's so nice to see you honey! Do you wanna play with my tongue?" She flirted with the man, I was just so taken aback by how upfront and cheap the girl was...
"No I dont Miley! I mean you've destroyed my family and career! And now your trying to get all these little girls to shave their heads? No fucking way." The man barked back...
"Oh my god! Can one of you kids call security! This guy is creeping me out right now.. I've only known him like 2 weeks or something.." Miley screched..
Mr Mackey and Principal Victoria suddenly came into the cafeteria assisted by Mr Garrison and Sheila Broflovski...
"THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!" The four of them bellowed in unison.. The whole room went deathly quiet like a bomb just went off...
"Miley Cyrus my son Kyle came home and told me all about your disgusting exploits!" Sheila spat... She was clearly going ballistic over the events.. In the short time I hanged around with Stan and Kyle I knew never to mess with Kyle's mom.
"Oh my god who the fuck is that fat woman?" Miley asked, as though she had never seen someone who weighed more than 105lbs..
"Miss Cyrus we've had quite enough.. your going to have to shape up or we're sending you back to jail... And your boyfriend cant visit you during school hours.." Principal Victoria carefully explained, She was talking to the star as though she was talking to someone foreign or very stupid..
"Oh my god y'all! You can't do this to me! My sister did a voice over in a Japanese movie!" The twerking star suddenly broke down in tears, collapsing on the floor in a puddle of her own tears.
"Oh my god.. M'kay I think we've all been real nasty to Miss Cyrus.. Children I want you all to try and help Miss Cyrus with her problems she is clearly in no state to leave the building." Mr Mackey added, tears in the corner of his eyes.
Really? Oh my god some people in this town are so gullible.. Not that I doubted her emotion. But in the short time i've lived in this town I have seen many a celebrity go wild and try and get away with it.
"Aaw thanks sugar.. you're really fine." Miley flirted, adjusting her running eye makeup...
"I dont give two shits that bitch is a dumb ass ho and you guys shall respect my authoritah!" Cartman bellowed..
"ERIC CARTMAN MY OFFICE NOW!" Principal Victoria screamed.. Once again Cartman was in the dog house over his crazy opinions..
"Ohh screw you guys! Whatever I do what I want bitches!" Cartman ranted, punching doors and lockers as he went on his way...
"Miley we're real sorry honey do you wanna come have some coffee with us?" Mr Garrison offered.. He reached out his hand to pick her up off the floor...
"Seems like we got off on the wrong foot.. I'm Miley, Miley Cyrus." Miley said to Garrison when she got up.. Garrison was clearly having a starstruck moment.. Which was weird considering he has met at least a thousand famous people..
"Herbert.. Herbert Garrison.. I was Janet for a while but yeah.." Garrison replied dully, he took Miley's hand and escorted her to the teachers lounge...
I was sat there drinking my coffee looking at all the people on my table who's minds had just been completely baffled...
"Really?" Was all Kyle said...
"Dude that is real fucked up right now." Kenny added..
So once again we would have to deal with having a crazy troubled popstar teaching our class.. Well at least I got Craig to keep me sane...
Speaking of which where the hell is he?
"Guys did you s-see where Craig went?" I asked.. I had to wait slightly longer to get an answer off my awestruck peers..
"Dude everyone was watching the meltdown of a diva.. Aint nobody seen Craig." Stan huffed, making out I was stupid for even asking.
I got up from the table and walked outside the cafeteria to get away from all the Mileygate shit.. Alot of people were looking at me as I went wondering why I wouldn't care what the American Sweetheart was up to.. Truth was I really didnt care..
I searched all over school to see where Craig was at.. In the end I texted his Mom and yeah turned out he skipped school shortly after Robin Thicke made his grand entrance...
In all fairness I hate school.. It really suckss
A:N/ Well Miley has finally been taken under the wing of the teachers.. Will the crazy Wrecking Ball hitmaker be able to sort herself out? Or is she due to meet Amanda Bynes in rehab?
Find out nex time Reviews, comments, criticism and ideas would be greatly appreciated
Love,
Sally