~Playground~
~Chapter 9: I Can't Behave Myself~
Writing, writing, writing... Writing is going well but I can finally foresee the end of this story. If anyone has any suggestions for what I should start on next I'm welcome to them!
Also, I'm in a bit of a mood… I'm afraid it's making me be super mean to Roxas. I feel kind of bad for doing all of this to him….
Every part of his back seemed on fire. Even the back of his legs hurt as he tried to move them. Pushing himself to his hands and knees Roxas tried to remember exactly why he was lying on the ground outside Raja's cage. Recalling the scene yesterday and his brother's appearance he also remembered why he had fled down here. Looking towards his furry friend Roxas saw Raja's ears twitch just a tiny bit to let Roxas know he was up, just resting his eyes.
Though his body was in agony Roxas mind seemed clearer than it had been in a while. It was like the feeling you had after you cried over something so sad until there were no tears left and you finally understood you had to remember happier times. He no longer felt conflicted. Everything made sense now and he'd do what he had to to protect Sora but he wouldn't let himself get hurt again. It was time he started looking out for himself first. Playing the martyr wasn't exactly his strong suit anyways.
It took a depressingly long time to get to his feet and even then he had to keep his hands on his knees to combat the lightheadedness that threatened to send him fainting to the ground again. Trying to pull the clothes from his bandages and the bandages from his skin made him grit his teeth. They'd effectively stuck themselves to his skin. Slowly he straightened and stretched his arms to the ceiling, cringing at the way the scabs cracked and fresh blood wetted his back.
"I guess at least someone is going to be mad I slept down here," Roxas said to Raja who still didn't look up. "I should probably go clean myself up before I report to our master. He hates when I get blood on his rugs." On shaking legs Roxas made his way from Raja's caged area past the cells and up towards the main palace. The light that made its way in from the windows burned Roxas' sensitive eyes after a night spent in near darkness. Stealing a quick look around he saw Kairi and Zexion sitting with the sultan as they watched a fire eater. Apparently whatever issues the sultan had with them had been resolved.
Grateful their backs were to him Roxas hurried as fast as his legs would take him upstairs to his room. Shutting the door behind him he panted a bit. If that short walk made his body tired he was as good as useless. Crossing just the short distance to his bathroom was almost just as tiring. As he waited for the tub to fill he tried to gently peel his clothes and bandages from his body. As almost all of the cuts along his back were reopened he sighed in resignation. I guess I'll have a few more scars for my master to enjoy, he thought darkly. When the tub was full and he'd managed to strip all the way down Roxas tried climbing into the tub. At first he yelped as the hot water seemed to burn his open wounds. Almost crying with pain he didn't stop but continued to lower himself into the water. When everything but his head was in the water he tried to relax. His whole body throbbed with pain and the beat of his heart. He could see little rivulets of red running around his body in the water.
Watching the red swirl and disperse in the water Roxas laughed. There was nothing funny about it, but he couldn't help it. What else could be done when you could, in essence, watch the life drain right out of you? If only he could keep bleeding he would be able slip peacefully away in this tub... It would be such an easy way to go. But he couldn't die yet. He had to get his brother kicked out of the kingdom and break Axel's heart. Not too much really, not when he finally knew just what to do. But he'd wait, just one day. If he was going to do this he wanted to tie up all loose ends first.
Closing his eyes Roxas went through each part of his body, flexing and clenching the muscles to make sure each one had been loosened by the water. He wouldn't be as flexible as normal but it would have to do. Grabbing a washcloth Roxas wiped off all of the blood crusted on him. Occasionally he started bleeding yet again but he wasn't as concerned about that today. The bleeding would stop quickly enough and when bandaged it would barely soak through to ruin his clothes. His master would be very upset if he managed to ruin more so quickly.
As the last of the blood was scraped from his skin Roxas quickly stood up. He didn't want to sit in the bloody water any longer than he had to. Pulling the plug with his toes he grabbed a pristine white towel and dried himself off. The blood and water mixture stained the towel pink around darker spots of red. That was mildly amusing. It was like some sick artwork. Dried, he dropped the towel and walked to the mirror to grab the bandages he kept there. This wasn't the first time this had happened and it wouldn't be the last. He had his own mini first-aid kit stashed away in one of the drawers so he didn't have to bother the palace healer with these trivial wounds. Starting with his right leg Roxas began wrapping most of his body up. He made sure that no blood would be able to seep out but that he could also move freely. When everything but his arms and head were wrapped up like a mummy Roxas set to reapplying the kohl eye liner that had smudged since the previous day. Nice thick lines set to emphasize his bright blue eyes. For once he smiled at his own reflection. He looked alive. It was nice to see himself pleased for once. But that was just the benefit of finally realizing what he wanted most in this world.
Walking to his main room Roxas pulled out a new pair of pants and a sleeveless shirt that actually closed in the front. He didn't bother doing a last check of his appearance, today was one of those days where he knew he looked good, before he left his rooms all together. If he had his way he wouldn't be back there for a long time. Tonight would be the last night he spent away from his master. Humming a tuneless song Roxas wandered the palace at his leisure. Kairi was out behind the palace with Larxene in the same spot where Roxas had first seen Axel here in Agraba. From the yelling upstairs Sora and Riku weren't exactly seeing eye to eye in Riku's room. Zexion was consulting with the sultan in the main courtyard, probably about business. Smiling broadly, Roxas approached the men. "Good morning, my dearest master," Roxas said as he dropped to one knee at the side of the sultan's chair. "I see you have no one attending you. May I be of service?"
The sultan looked down at Roxas with a frown. "You're up?"
Roxas knew his master didn't actually expect him to be up and functioning so well already. He'd make sure Roxas couldn't walk next time he wanted to punish him. "My drive to serve you gives me strength, master."
"Then fetch us some fruits."
"As you wish." Standing Roxas shot Zexion a grin that made him still. Really, Roxas was just trying to be friendly, there was nothing worrisome in a simple smile. Walking at his own pace towards the kitchen he requested the fruits his master wanted as well as wine and water. The sultan did enjoy a glass of wine or two on occasion, and Roxas felt like today would be one of those days. Having servants carry the trays he led the small procession back to where the two sat. "Master," Roxas said with a flourish to show all of the fruits. Grabbing a slice of apple he bent down to his master's level. "May I offer you something to satisfy your appetite?" Slipping the piece of apple into his mouth he tilted his head just enough to make it easy for his master to take it from his lips. As the apple slice slid from his teeth Roxas darted out his tongue to catch his master's lips before he stood up. The look of lust in his master's eyes was all he wanted. He needed to know he could still make the sultan want him. "Now if you will excuse me, master, I shall continue to attend to your previous orders."
The sultan frowned as he remembered what Roxas was talking about. Clearly he wanted something else right then. "Fine, but return to me when you've completed your task," the sultan said with a short nod. Roxas grinned and bowed. He wouldn't see his master again today hopefully. Instead his master would call on Marluxia to satisfy his urges but be disappointed when that something was missing. Roxas would be his and his alone after that.
Speak of the devil... On his way upstairs Roxas passed the pink haired traitor. Marluxia shot him a smug smile which Roxas returned tit for tat. "Good morning, Marluxia. Have fun with our master tonight. I hope you know how to please him as I do." The image of Marluxia with the sultan gave Roxas' smile an icy edge. "But I'm sure he's realized by now you're just not as young as you used to be. Or as me." Not that Marluxia was really that much older. He was twenty-nine at the oldest, but that was still ten years older than Roxas.
When Marluxia said nothing Roxas' smile grew sharper. Continuing up the stairs to Axel's room he let himself in. Axel and Demyx were deep in whispered conversation that broke off when they saw Roxas. Smile warm but still that of a predator, Roxas stalked right up to Axel and straddled him in the chair he sat. "Hello Demyx," he said without even looking at him. "Do you know what a nice day it is out? I think you'd enjoy the many birds my master keeps behind the palace."
"You don't have to tell me twice," Demyx said with a smile in his voice. Roxas heard his chair being pushed back but didn't look away from Axel's eyes. "Bye you two," came the last of Demyx's voice as he shut to door behind him. As it clicked into place Roxas pressed his lips against Axel's. It wasn't one of those gentle kisses that sent lightning coursing through him, nor was it one that was tender and sweet. No, this kiss was all about the fire burning in Roxas. It was all about the energy he felt. It was rough and imperfect but amazing in those ways. There was no lightning but instead pure desire that tore through Roxas until even Axel was set aflame by it.
Axel's hands groped at his back and Roxas tried to ignore the shooting pain in favor of the pleasure coursing through him. Grinding against the red head Roxas could feel the man already hard for him. If Roxas hadn't been just as erect he would've smiled. But his body wanted this now. Yet it wouldn't be able to take it. Instead Roxas slid off of Axel to kneel between his legs. Undoing his zipper Roxas slipped his dick from their confinement in his boxers and pants Roxas didn't bother wasting time pulling his pants all the way off. Roxas used his hand to pump Axel a few times until his lips wrapped around all of the man sitting before him. He wasn't concerned about his technique or about using his tongue in just that certain way his tongue stud would tease Axel. This was solely about the experience of tasting Axel and watching the man squirm in pleasure.
Not to control him but just to touch, Axel's hand came to rest in Roxas' hair. Roxas groaned around Axel. He loved the feeling of Axel's hand just like that. It felt like a breeze ruffling his hair. Sucking hard Roxas swallowed Axel and pressed his lips around the base. Ignoring the fact that he had to breathe Roxas kept swallowing with Axel deep in his throat, over and over until Axel's hips bucked and he was came in Roxas' mouth. Pulling back a bit Roxas let Axel's cum hit his tongue before he swallowed. He continuously licked the tip until he couldn't get anything else from Axel. Pulling away from the red head Roxas tried to ignore his own hard on. Though he was hard as a rock he wouldn't let Axel fuck him. He needed to take care of his body.
Strong arms lifted Roxas and pulled him back onto Axel's lap. Not caring that Roxas tasted like cum Axel kissed him deeply. Even the stud in Roxas' tongue didn't bother him for once. All he wanted was to keep kissing Roxas. Running his hands down Roxas' but to grab his ass Axel felt Roxas tense again. Roxas tried to hide the pain that shot through him but it hurt so badly to be grabbed in any way. Axel pulled away from kissing him to give him a look that said, Please don't tell me you're hurt again.
Roxas tried to smile and brush it off. "It's nothing, just me being stupid. Axel! It's nothing!" Roxas tried to push his hands away as they went to lift up his shirt. Bandages revealed, Axel's face lost all of the humor it had before. Figuring it was a lost cause now Roxas just rested his forehead against Axel's shoulder. "It's nothing. My master just heard some of what I said to Sora and wasn't all that pleased with it."
Roxas jumped in surprise when Axel said nothing but kissed Roxas instead. It was a kiss that made Roxas forget all of the pain as tongues played with each other and hands ran so gently up his back all he felt was excitement. Carefully Axel picked Roxas up with him as he stood up and walked over to the bed. As he laid Roxas down he kissed away the groan of pain that came from him. Immensely pleased to be getting back to the fun stuff, Roxas reached his hand down to toy with Axel until the man was hard again. He felt so big in Roxas' hand. It was such a nice feeling having all of that in his hand. He wished he'd be able to have all of Axel one last time, but it was a futile wish. Instead he just enjoyed the feeling of Axel on top of him, kissing him and making him so hard he could barely focus.
So focused on Axel's kisses, Roxas wasn't aware of Axel's hand moving until it was caressing his dick, stroking him towards his climax. Arching his back Roxas thrust up into Axel's hand. Smiling into the kiss, Axel began lowering Roxas' pants to have better access to him. Roxas tried to regain his senses but each time Axel' hand started playing with him again he couldn't even remember his own name. No one had ever taken the time to make sure Roxas was so hard and needy. The pleasure of Axel stroking him almost made him forget to stop Axel from continuing. "Wait..." he panted, breathless from the feelings that made his stomach clench. "We can't do that right now. I... I can't take it." He felt ashamed. He'd been a whore and now a slave. There was no such thing as not being able to do something. But Roxas didn't want the pain with Axel. Sex with the red head was something to be valued and remembered fondly, not tarnished by shooting pain and blood.
"Don't worry, I wasn't thinking of that at all," Axel murmured against Roxas' lips, eyes opened into slits that teased Roxas with their mischievousness. Skipping touching every area in between lips and dick, Axel went straight for Roxas' member and wrapped his lips around it. With the first suck Roxas cried out in pleasure. The first time Axel licked him from base to tip Roxas bit his hand to keep from crying out again. Never had anyone's mouth been there on him. Finally he understood why people had always loved having him between their legs. Who knew having Axel's mouth there would be so amazing? Axel's warm lips around him was going to be the death of him. He was so hard it almost hurt. Every time he felt that tongue running up the underside of his dick he bucked his hips. When Axel placed a hand on Roxas' balls and squeezed them the tiniest bit Roxas lost it. He came with a shout, mind foggy from the intense feelings, made worse when Axel continued to suck on him throughout his orgasm.
As Axel kissed his way back up his body Roxas felt ashamed. No one had ever done that for him before. It had always been his job to do that. He'd thought he was special for having such amazing oral skills but after that... He'd cum so quickly it was like he was a child experimenting for the first time. If blowjobs felt that good then he really didn't have to be skilles at all. It galled so badly that he gave Axel a short kiss before he turned his head away. "Roxas?" Axel asked, concerned. "Are you okay?" Roxas still couldn't answer. "Did you not like that?"
Roxas shook his head. How did one explain feeling absolutely worthless? Even worse, his unshakable confidence from before was cracked. How could he have expected his master to come back to him? If Marluxia was half as good as Axel at just that then Roxas was doomed. "No, it was amazing. But..." Roxas could feel the blush rising in his cheeks. He licked his lips nervously and toyed with the hoop in his left ear. "I thought I was special. But you're amazing at that... I barely lasted. I'm not as good as I thought." Roxas couldn't look at Axel because of embarrassment. His face was burning hot and he wanted to be anywhere but right under Axel at that moment.
"That wasn't anything special," Axel chuckled. "Trust me, what you do is much more impressive." Feeling mollified, Roxas sneaked a peak at Axel and had his gaze captured by those green eyes. Instead of the laughter Roxas thought they would hold they were sadly serious. "Roxas... This isn't a good bye, is it?"
"Huh?" The question was so random Roxas didn't even have to fake dumb. For a long second he was confused as to exactly what Axel was asking.
Rubbing his face against Roxas' neck Axel flicked his tongue out to lick Roxas' neck and make him catch his breath. "Sora told me what you did to him the night before you got him thrown out of the Playground. You'd better not be planning anything this time around."
"What could I have planned?" Roxas asked as he tried to focus on what Axel was saying and not the delicious sensations Axel's tongue was giving him.
"Knowing you? Something ridiculous that's really going to piss me off. So I'm asking you now not to so I don't have to be pissed at you later."
"I won't do anything, promise." Again he lied to Axel. This was a serious problem. Lying, that is. He resolved to fix it after Axel and the others were safely away. Well, he'd reserve the lying for the sultan so he could make it through life. Of course it was okay to lie in that case... But otherwise, in a tribute to Axel, he'd stop lying.
"Listen Roxas, if you do try something, anything, I'm going to sick Sora on your ass."
Smiling Roxas kissed Axel again. You know, if I wasn't already in love with my master, I might actually like you, Roxas thought. The idea of staying like that all night was appealing, but Roxas didn't have something else to get done before the night was over. "Speaking of Sora, I should probably go talk to him again."
"Will you get in trouble for that?"
"Probably. But I'll get in more trouble for coming back here when I'm done." The conflict of interests on Axel's face was very amusing. He seemed to want Roxas to come back but he didn't want him to get hurt again. Holding Axel's face between his hands Roxas looked him straight in the eye. "I'm coming back tonight to be with you," he said firmly before he pushed Axel off of him so he could put his pants back on. Everything back in place to hide his injuries, Roxas gave Axel one last cheeky grin. "Don't get too busy. I'll be back before you know it."
As Roxas closed the door to Axel room behind him he let the smile fade from his lips. It had taken so much work to seem normal. But inside he was writhing in pain. It was worse than just the pain of his body. Mind and body were at war. His mind knew exactly who and what it wanted. He'd finally come to realize his feelings for the sultan were deeper than that of master and servant, now why couldn't his body recognize that fact? It seemed insistent on putting up a fight and it had chosen Axel; Axel who was kind and caring and Axel who made him burn.
Walking the short distance up towards the sultan's room, Roxas felt his confidence come back. The way the sultan had looked at him said he was going to win this. Feeling confident enough to not knock Roxas let himself in; no Marluxia in sight. But then, neither was his master. Listening he heard faint splashes from behind the bathroom door. Smiling Roxas pushed open the door and went to kneel in the small puddles of water by his master's bath. "Do you need any help washing, master? Or perhaps with anything else?" Roxas asked with a pointed look towards the man's crotch. The sight of it didn't fill him with longing like Axel's did but satisfied him on a far deeper level.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" the sultan asked as he lay back in the tub, ignoring looking at Roxas directly.
"Where else but here? The prince's friend is where you want him to be. Short of giving me a month or two to make him fall in love with me, this is the closest you'll be able to get." Roxas grabbed a washcloth and set to washing his master's back. Never before had his master allowed even this much intimacy. "So, my dearest master, whenever you say the word I will do whatever you tell me to to break his heart."
"You seem rather sure of yourself, Ragheb. Tell me, what would you do about all of the others?"
"They are here in Agraba, your domain, master. Simply send them all home. Surely you and the prince have finished whatever it is you need to. Send them all away without a second thought." Roxas made little circles on the sultan's back and tried to resist the urge to climb into the tub with him. He wouldn't like the wet bandages much. But Roxas wanted the reassurance that the confidence he'd woken up with that morning was real. He wanted to show his master his feelings.
The sultan turned in his bath to regard Roxas. Catching his face with one hand he pulled Roxas in and kissed him. "If this doesn't go as well as you think it will I'll give you to the guards to use before I sell you off."
Roxas just smiled and dropped the washcloth to cup his master's face in his own hands. "I would never let anything like that happen. I couldn't live being separated from you." Gently kissing the sultan Roxas sat back a bit. "You must forgive me yet again for being outspoken master," he said with a laugh. "But I couldn't bear to be away from the one I love. And I've come to realize, you, my dearest master, are the only one I ever could and ever will love."
The sultan seemed taken aback. Never before had a slave professed their love for him in such a way. "Leave me," he said, waving his hand at the door.
Smiling at his confused master Roxas rose to his feet. "Yes, master," he said with a short bow before excusing himself from his master's presence. Holding onto that small bubble of joy seeing his master gave him, Roxas tried to work up the courage to do what needed to be done last before he could go back and spend the night with Axel. He knew it would upset his master yet again if he went to see Sora, but he couldn't force Sora away yet again without really telling him how much he missed him. Walking back down to Riku's room he still heard yelling. For a second he debated just walking away but... He'd finally decided to finish things. Now was one of the only chances he'd have left. Knocking on the door he called out politely, "Sora?"
The yelling stopped, quick footsteps approached the door. As Riku opened it Roxas took in the sight in front of him. Everything was a mess. It looked like a storm had blown through and knocked everything over. Even worse for wear were the two men. Riku's cheek was bright pink and one of his sleeves were ripped. Sora was completely shirtless and had what looked like a bruise that would turn into a black eye. "Is this a bad time?" Roxas asked with a tilt of his head. He really didn't want to be in the middle of this.
"No, Riku was just leaving," Sora said, glaring at the prince. "Weren't you?"
"Whatever," Riku said without looking back at Sora as he pulled the door shut behind him with a solid thunk.
Roxas went over and righted one of the chairs in the room so he could sit down. "Want to explain that to me?" he asked as if he was asking about the weather. He didn't care if Sora wanted to tell him or not, he would so Roxas could do what he could to help tonight.
"We were just arguing," Sora said, throwing his arms up behind his head and pouting. "It's nothing."
"Yeah, cause nothing leaves me with bruises too." Actually, it sometimes did depending on his master's mood, but that as beside the point.
"Riku wants me to go home..." Sora said slowly. Each word seemed pulled from his lips like he was being forced to say them. Perhaps he was. Years ago they would've told each other anything and those few things which couldn't be said were just understood. Having to spell something out was strange for them. "But I can't leave you again." Looking earnestly at Roxas, Sora tried to help him understand how he felt. He hoped Roxas felt the same. "You have to come home with me!"
"Sora, do you love me?"
The brunette seemed shocked Roxas would even have to ask. "Of course. We're brothers."
"And what about Riku? Don't you love him?"
That question seemed a bit harder to answer. "I... do... I think... But how am I supposed to love someone who thinks he's always right like him?"
"Doesn't it hurt to not be around him?" Sora nodded. "Isn't seeing him happy what sets you at ease?" Another nod. "Don't you want to be the only one he sees?" A third nod. "Then it's simple. You love him and need to stop being so thick headed."
"How am I being thick headed? I love both of you!"
Why was it this all seemed to make sense to Roxas but not Sora? Had they really been separated for that long? "You love me because I'm your brother, idiot. It's not the same. You've let him into your heart and have to deal with the consequences. And that means letting him worry about you once in a while and not be upset when he's trying to look out for you."
That seemed to be the last thing Sora wanted to do. "Oh yeah? Then what about you? Were you serious? Do you really love that fat bastard who's keeping you here?" Sora asked with a yell.
Roxas frowned. He didn't like his master being called a bastard, but he couldn't deny he was fat. "Of course I love him. I live for him. He's the reason I'm so happy."
"But, if you had to choose... Would you choose me or him?"
What a question. Roxas knew he should say Sora but... Sora wasn't his life anymore. Yes, he loved his brother, but Sora no longer came first. For the first time, Roxas realized there really was someone else how he cared about more. Himself. "My master." The hurt on Sora's face almost made Roxas wish he lied. "I love you more than life itself, Sora. But my master... I can't stand not being with him. Knowing he is happy puts me at ease. I want to be the only person he looks at."
For a long time Sora just looked at him as if trying to figure out a puzzle. Was he beginning to understand how Roxas felt? Roxas doubted it, but he hoped some part of Sora could grasp what he was saying. "But... why do you feel that way?" he finally asked. "I hate it when Riku leaves because I'm lonely. I miss him. No one else makes me feel happy like he does. And when he's stressed after a meeting or getting back from a trip I'm concerned for him even though I have no reason to be. And I want to be the only one for him because I know him better than anyone like he knows me. I don't think anyone else could love him the way I do." Sora looked at the ceiling, eyebrows scrunched. "You just seem to take what love should be and make it fit you. Love isn't how someone needs you or how certain things they do make you happy; it's how you know that they make you happy because they're them." Biting his lip Sora glanced at Roxas. "I don't think you're really in love with the bastard."
Roxas felt his temper rising. What the hell did Sora know? How could Sora understand? Love was different for everybody, wasn't it? There was nothing else it could be. "Shut up Sora," Roxas snapped, rising from his seat. "What do you know? How do you even know you're in love with Riku if you're at his throat and throwing him out?"
"At least I have a real relationship!" Sora dropped his arms and fisted his hands. For a second Roxas was afraid he'd come after him again. Already in pain he wouldn't be able to put up a fight against Sora. "I'm not a slave who's just scared he won't get fucked anymore!"
Roxas felt the ground beneath him tumble and collapse then catch him again all in a split second. Never had he and Sora fought like this. Was it the years apart? Even worse, Sora's words had hit a bit too close to home. Recoiling like he'd been hit Roxas just started at Sora. Did he really think Roxas couldn't tell the difference between fear and love? They were so different no one could! Roxas knew the fear that came from his life but that wasn't it. This wasn't the fear he lived with every day. This was something else entirely, it had to be love. Stealing his heart against Sora Roxas turned away from him. "Leave Agraba. I don't want or need you here. I was doing better without you around."
Though his heart beaten, Roxas knew he was doing the best thing possible. Sora had to go and his disrespect for Roxas' master couldn't go on. Everything had to end, so Roxas could get back to his life without his brother in it.
Outside of the room Riku rested against the banister that let him look down to the main courtyard. Raja was being teased and taunted by a tiger tamer to make him perform. The tiger would be in a foul mood for a few days, Roxas would have to make sure not to go down there without bringing some fresh meat to soothe the beast if he wanted to talk. "I'm done talking to my brother," Roxas said sourly.
"Thank you, for what you said," Riku said softly. "I never even thought to ask him if he loved me. I just assumed he felt the same way I did."
Roxas grunted. He had nothing to say to Riku about the man's love for Roxas' brother. Really, it was none of his concern. Roxas didn't want Sora in his life or to be in Sora's if he couldn't see things clearly. If he refused to even humor the idea that Roxas knew what he was talking about when he said he loved his master they wouldn't be able to see eye to eye.
Sighing he pushed his way back into Axel's room, feeling like he'd just fought a war. "I'm back, as promised," he said but his words lacked the happiness they'd had before he left. Leaning back against the door Roxas didn't look at Axel. He needed someone to make things clear for him and while Axel might not have been the best choice since he was the man who was trying to convince him to leave here with him, but there was no one else Roxas could ask. "What is love?"
Instead of looking surprised or even pausing to think Axel rolled over on his side in bed to lie on his back. His arms came up to support his head as if he could see the stars through the ceiling. "Love is something so unique and powerful not even what gods there may or may not be could stop it. It's feeling completely at home and safe in someone's arms. It's living without fear because when you're in love you're invincible."
Roxas just stood, staring at Axel. He tried to keep his heart from feeling like it was breaking. Sora couldn't be right, not in this. He had to be in love with the sultan. "I think…" Roxas felt the tears getting caught in his throat preventing him from speaking. "I think I was wrong…" He felt horrible.
"Come here, Roxas," Axel said gently, holding out a hand to the younger man. "Shhh… Don't worry, you'll figure out what love is eventually." Roxas let his tears spill down his cheeks until he fell asleep in Axel's arm's, fully regretting everything he'd set in motion.
I'm so sorry…
Wow, it's been a while since something was written solely from Roxas' POV.