Sir Hammerlock was sitting in a lofty chair in a cozy, fire-place lit study, reading a book that likely came from the collection of books that lined the wall.
"Ah!" He exclaimed, looking up at you. "I didn't hear you come in. I am Sir Hammerlock, and I will be temporarily taking over this story to go over some of the technicalities that may have arisen after we last left our wayward AI and poor Siren."
He closed the book, carefully placed it on the table next to him, and raised his pipe to his lips. "To quote the vulgar ending to the eighth chapter of this collection, 'and then they...fucked.' You'll have to forgive me for the language. It reflects nothing of my upbringing. I was raised in a far less Irish setting then the author of this story."
Hammerlock lightly puffed out some smoke. "Now, after reading that section, a question that may have occurred to you could have been, 'How could that have been physically possible?' That's not to say that there aren't tales on this very site that take even larger leaps of physical logic, but it's better for us to tie up that end before it becomes loose."
Hammerlock paused, thinking of the correct words. "I could argue that young Master Trappington is doing the more poetic action between the two of them. As an AI, he has no physical needs. He understands the concept of hormones and has emotions. I suppose that's the plus of having your mind scanned into a machine. The pleasure he would be getting from the act of intimacy isn't one of physical urges, but an emotional pleasure. Master Trappington finds joy in giving his lover, dear Angel, pleasure, and is astonished by the trust she has in him by allowing him to do so. The VR system Angel is connected to allows him to provide her this pleasure through human stimulated needs."
"As for Mistress Angel...Her side is more of a guided self pleasure." Hammerlock said, before sipping a cup of tea.
"Now that we have set our terms, you will not have to bare witness to it." Hammerlock said. "And now on to your regularly scheduled program. We pick up with our star-crossed lovers after their coitus. You'll see how enraptured the two of them are in their young love."
"...Oh no." Angel said.
"It couldn't have been that bad." Clyde retorted. "I think it was pretty impressive, considering only one of us has a body and-"
"Not that!" Angel exclaimed. "It's Jack."
"...Now I'm as new to this as you are, but I don't think thinking about your dad is-"
"My father's coming to my physical chambers!" Angel exclaimed. She paused for a second, mentally checking the chamber settings. "Darn it! I had the chambers on lockdown during...this. No surveillance. No scientists."
"So you're on a VR unit? So what?" Clyde asked. "Just tell him you were looking at porn or something. You're a growing girl."
"It's not...Hold on a second." Angel said, flashing out of the system.
"Ok." Clyde said. "I'll just...wait here then."
"Angel, sweetie, what are you doing?" Jack asked as he walked into the chamber. Angel was stationed in the center of the control room, with a few terminals surrounding her. Several wires were connected to the chair she was stationed on.
"Just some maintenance," Angel said, lightheaded from leaving the VR system so quickly.
"Really?" Jack asked. "Because everything seemed fine before you shut down all of the security observing your chamber and locked everyone out. That's a bit of a red flag, honey. Mind explaining what's up?"
Angel bit her lip. She didn't like to lie to her father and tried to avoid it whenever she could. She was lucky that, up to this point, he hadn't asked her anything about Claptrap units (aside from some advice on how to reprogram one of the units for combat purposes. It was a strange goal him to have, but she was actually curious what a combat-ready Claptrap was like.) However, now that Clyde was involved in her...personal activities, it would be harder to come up with excuses.
Suddenly, she realized that she didn't have to lie to her father. She just had to make him not want the answer.
"W-Well, Jack." She stuttered. "It's just...Well…"
"Come on, Angel, spit it out." Jack said impatiently.
"Right, right." She replied, her face turning red. "It's just...you know, I'm a young woman, locked up in these chambers-"
"For your own safety." Jack added.
"Yeah. For my own safety." She agreed. "There are just some certain things that a woman has to go through, regardless of where she is."
"Angel, that's great and all, but I know that Sirens are sterile, so you don't have to deal with...those problems." Jack said. Angel was beginning to see him become more uncomfortable with the topic matter, so she just had to push it.
"I'm not talking about any of that." She said. "I'm talking about...urges."
"...What are you talking about?" Jack asked, confused.
"You know… 'private' urges." Angel gently clarified. "Urges that I'd want to take a few minutes to get out my system without anyone watching." She paused. "Something I might abuse the VR system to let me...stimulate these urges."
Jack looked at Angel blankly for a few seconds.
"...I'm talking about masturbating, Dad."
Jack's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh, oh, oh, that's, right, that's a things you would, yeah, right!" Jack stammered. This may have been the first time Angel saw her father completely uncomfortable.
"So you understand why I'd want to turn off the security." Angel said.
"Oh, yeah, right, completely!" Jack exclaimed, face slightly pale. "Just...Just make sure you initiate some sort of protocol, security measure, shit like that."
"Got it, Jack." Angel said. "I promise that this won't happen often. Maybe about once a month."
"Well, considering how much me and you mother-" Jack began to say, before stopping himself. "Actually, you probably don't want to know about any of that. I'm just gonna leave now. You know, lot of important stuff I have to deal with." Jack said, awkwardly walking out of the facility.
Angel sighed in relief. She was lucky should could count on the general discomfort fathers have when they talk to their daughters about sex.
Suddenly, she heard Jack's voice over the loudspeaker. "HEY, VIRGINS! IF THE GUARDIAN ANGEL TELLS YOU TO GIVE HER A FEW MINUTES ALONE, YOU DO IT, UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO PERSONALLY MOUNT YOUR BALLS TO THE WALL!"
And there's the overprotective dad part of Jack. Angel smiled to herself. It's nice to know he cares.
"So, how'd it go?" Clyde asked, as Angel appeared in front of him.
"I managed to figure out a way to convince him to allow me some alone time about once a month." Angel replied.
"You told him I was porn, didn't you?" Clyde asked, smirking.
"...Something like that." Angel replied, blushing.
"So...Once a month implies that this is going to happen again." Clyde observed. "Is it?"
Angel laughed. "I don't think either of us have any better options!" She smiled, but Clyde looked at her skeptically. "...That came out wrong, but you know what I mean."
Clyde sighed, then smiled back. "Even if I didn't just recently discover I was an AI, you're the best anyone could do."
They embraced each other, and for a moment, in spite of their circumstances, they were happy.
It wouldn't last, but it was still nice.
So I had a major case of writer's block trying to construct this chapter, so I put it down for a while. Also, this story was in less demand then my other ones, so I didn't feel as guilty about it.
I feel like Jack would be the kind of guy who would get really uncomfortable talking about his daughter's sex life, even if it was just the stuff she did on her own.
Up next: A reunion on the moon!