"And I've got a better beard," the Captain whinged.

"F'r Chris' sake, Jack, will yeh shut it about Zorro?"

Together they sat in the galley aboard the ship bound for England, Jack already on his second flagon of rum. The sea was relatively calm but the cold leaked in through every entrance it could. Jade huddled inside her coat, clasping her drink vessel close.

"Oh aye, I'll 'old me tongue about that oily toe-rag what pinched me diamond…thinkin' a gen'leman o' the road can outdo one o' fortune."

Jade rolled her eyes. "Jack, yeh en't got fortune t' speak of. 'Less yeh count meh savin' yeh life all those times."

Jack pouted. "What savings? I never asked for any saving. All I know is it was me what got you away from those runners."

"You put meh there in th' firs' place! Anyways, leas' now yeh know where the diamond is. If the Court come lookin' f'r it, yeh can tell 'em where it went."

"I'd rather keep the information under me 'at. So long as they know I know where it is, I might remain in one piece."

"So why're we goin' back t' England?"

"I knows a few people who can take us back to the Caribbean, minimal cost, an' should it be worth me while, those speakin' the mother tongue be easier to distract. Pick a small enough vessel to commandeer an' we can both sail out by our onesies. Would've gone sooner if you 'adn't addled me brain wiv that eggy concoction…"

Jade opened her mouth to retort but was cut off as a trio of extravagant ladies approached the table. One of them, her face luridly rouged, addressed Jack, caressing the furs about her upper arms in a suggestive manner.

"Pardon, monsieur, but did we 'ear you say sometheeng about ze Caribbean? The way you are dressed, and how you speak…why, you are not ze infamous Capitaine Jack Sparrow?"

"Oh, Chris'…" Jade pinched the bridge of her nose in despair.

The three women clustered about the Captain and began squabbling over which of them would get to sit either side of him. Jack smiled sickeningly, putting on his best bravado. Within minutes they were hanging on his every word, and anything else they could cling to. He pushed his empty flagon toward Jade.

"Jade, darlin', 'ow about you fetch me another rum?" The female attachments gave her a searing glare that screamed for her to take her leave.

"Righ' away, Cap'n," Jade growled. "Would yeh like it with extra spit?" He hadn't heard and was already beaming inanely at his groupies. She took both his and her empty vessels and got up to head for the kitchen, finding that her capacity to walk in a straight trajectory had been hampered more severely than she realised. Once she arrived at the serving counter she found the cook to be away from his post. "Hmph…" She cast her eyes back to Jack and the pawing Frenchwomen and grimaced as he curled his moustache for their amusement. Angrily, she turned back to the bar and began to tap her cup loudly upon it. When no one came she sighed and slumped her head in her arms over the counter.

A faint scratching noise roused her from her rest. Frowning, Jade teetered toward the sound, following it behind the bar. Her distorted vision focused upon a dark, furry thing scurrying around the boards. Jade grinned wickedly and snatched a cloth from the bar top. Several minutes later, she was creeping quietly behind the oblivious women who were swooning all over Sparrow. Taking care not to make a sound, she crouched beside the hem of the nearest lady's dress and emptied the contents of the cloth. As quick as she could without being detected, she slipped back toward the kitchen and awaited the return of the cook. From the safety of the other end of the room she watched the chaos unfold.

The lady to Jack's left jolted inside her skin. Bizarrely she did not leap away from the table itself. Jack turned to her, brow furrowed. "You all right, love?"

"Oh…oh oui, Capitaine," she lied, looking excruciatingly uncomfortable the moment his eyes averted. She made a small gasp and batted at the skirts of her huge dress. Unable to bear any more, she gave a whimper and jumped up. She looked down as the rat tumbled out. "Rat!" she screamed, to Jade's delight. At once, the other women leaped up, flapping and squawking, beating at themselves as though there were more than just the one rodent. Sobbing and snivelling they fled topside.

Finding it gravely difficult to keep the smugness inward, Jade strutted back to Jack with two full flagons. She made a show of glancing at the empty spaces on his bench. "What did yeh say this time?"

Sparrow's face portrayed innocence. "Significantly little. They'll be back, just off to powder their noses or some'ing. You know the French."

Jade looked at him dubiously. "An' it's a custom o' theirs t' scream loudly when they depart t' do such thin's, is it?"

"Clearly they're an excitable bunch," he sniffed. "Was 'alfway through telling 'em about the time I nicked off with the Duke of Austria's Christmas presents."

Jade gulped down a mouthful of rum, still holding onto his flagon. With feigned sympathy she replied, "Rats…" She pursed her lips in the moment that his gaze snapped to hers. Ever so slowly she brought the rum vessels closer to her chest and placed a foot on the floor. She presented Sparrow with an awkward smile before she scooped up the drinks and fled the galley.